F76

Siwoo had imagined countless ways of reuniting with Yeonho. He wanted it to feel like destiny, like a natural coincidence, meeting again at the place where they first fell in love and starting over from there.

Though he’d never said it out loud, Yeonho had probably learned after the accident that Siwoo was the son of the CEO of Kangmoon Construction. That company, which had once handled construction for Seongam Resort, was now doing the remodeling for Platte Resort under a new name, Namyeon Construction. That connection gave Siwoo plenty of plausible excuses to work with.

He wondered how Yeonho would react to seeing him again. It had been so long that it might feel awkward at first. But since their last encounter had ended the way it had, he believed Yeonho would show him at least some mercy and not push him away completely. It had been over four years since Seong Junhee died. Maybe now Yeonho would give him another chance.

Using his influence however he pleased, Siwoo got in touch with the site supervisor. He gave the man a wad of cash and got the passcode to the office where the building room keys were kept. Just as he expected, Yeonho was staying in room 315. Siwoo took the room directly above him.

His heart was racing. It had been so long since he’d felt this breathless with nerves. He knew Yeonho had always liked his appearance, so he carefully fixed himself up in the mirror, sprayed on the cologne Yeonho used to bury his nose in all the time.

He went downstairs to room 315, where the door was wide open, and stood outside the lit room, trying to steady his breath over and over.

But the room was empty.

Should he wait? Go back and come again later? He was still hesitating when footsteps echoed from the hallway.

A deliveryman in a quick-service vest was walking toward him. The moment he saw what the man was carrying, Siwoo’s body froze with a jolt. It was a bouquet of bright red roses, headed for room 315.

Clenching his teeth, Siwoo accepted both the bouquet and a small pharmacy bag from the deliveryman. With trembling fingers, he pulled out the card tucked between the roses. The name of the sender was written on the envelope.

Seong Junyoung.

Siwoo already knew Seong Junyoung was Seong Junhee’s younger brother, and Yeonho’s second brother. And the bad feeling in his chest turned out to be right.

Take care of yourself. If I miss you too much, I’ll come find you. I love you.

It felt like a hammer to the head. Siwoo’s legs gave out and a bitter laugh escaped him.

“Ha, ha…”

So now that one’s gone, it’s the younger brother’s turn. For four years, they’d been sharing sweet, intimate words like this.

Why did I survive that hell? The nightmare of being Yeonho’s stepbrother still wasn’t over. And even after waiting four years to return, there was still no place for Kim Siwoo beside Ju Yeonho.

***

Maybe Yeonho’s side was only ever meant for him. Siwoo had doubted it a thousand times, but every time he let himself imagine that Yeonho’s true love was him, reality crushed the fantasy. Still, he let the same thought cross his mind once more.

He recalled the delivery slip he’d seen sticking out of Yeonho’s pocket the day of the accident and stood up, abandoning the cleaning he had been doing. He couldn’t remember the recipient’s name exactly, but he was certain it was a woman’s name.

Around that time, Yeonho had hidden a second phone like it held some crucial secret. That phone had vanished along with the accident. Earlier, Yeonho had named his mother as the last person in the family who might still be on his side. Considering even that incomprehensible moment with Seong Junhee on the slope, a plausible picture was beginning to form.

Of course, he couldn’t be certain. But if the phone hadn’t been lost by accident, if Yeonho had deliberately placed it somewhere, then Siwoo’s guess might be right.

He asked around and tracked down the personal contact of Yeonho’s mother, who he assumed now possessed the missing phone. As the CEO of the resort, her business card listed her number, so it wasn’t difficult to find.

Siwoo got up, gripped his phone respectfully, and placed the call. He had met her a few times before, though not under pleasant circumstances, so he was nervous.

Soon, her voice came through the line.

“Hello. This is Kim Siwoo speaking. Yes, I’m that Kim Yeonho.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this afraid on a call. Clenching his fist, swallowing hard, he cautiously asked to meet.

“If it’s alright with you, could we meet for a moment? I’ll come to you whenever is convenient. I know this is sudden, but I believe this is something that needs to be said in person. Yes, I’m currently in Gangwon-do. I can come today.”

She calculated the time it would take to travel from the resort to Seoul and agreed on a time and place. As soon as the call ended, Siwoo rushed to get ready and left for Seoul.

He started his car, one hand on the wheel, and tried to call Yeonho to let him know he’d be out of town for a bit. But Yeonho didn’t answer, so he left a message instead.

***

After finishing his talk with Seong Junyoung, Yeonho drove straight home. The house had been tidied up far more than it had been that morning, as if Siwoo’s hands had touched every corner.

When he saw the frying pan and plates he had used yesterday to make seafood pancakes for Junyoung were now spotless, it felt like someone had stabbed his heart with an ice pick.

“Why would you clean that? Why go that far? You idiot…”

Feeling upset on Siwoo’s behalf made his chest ache with frustration. He stormed off into his room and opened the closet. Hanging deep inside was a ski outfit identical to the ones rented out at the resort’s rental shop.

Yeonho reached deep into the pocket of the ski jacket. His fingers pulled out a blood-stained ski glove.

There it was, clear and undeniable proof. The weapon used to beat Seong Junyoung with a baseball bat at dawn… it was in his own hands now.

With his hand on his forehead, Yeonho slumped to the floor and muttered to himself.

“So it really was me…”

Even without taking any sleeping pills, something like this had happened. Was there another version of Joo Yeonho living inside him?

Lying on the floor, Yeonho waited desperately for a message from Siwoo. At that moment, nothing worried him more than whether Siwoo was safe. No matter how long he waited, no reply came. The message he sent remained unread. The anxiety was unbearable. He kept calling, but Siwoo never picked up.

He didn’t give up. Thirty minutes later, he tried calling again. This time, a woman answered. Yeonho shot upright where he lay, his voice strained with panic.

“Isn’t this Kim Siwoo’s phone?”

The woman gave a long explanation. After listening through it all, Yeonho ended the call and cursed under his breath.

She told him Siwoo had collided with a freight truck while changing lanes on the outskirts of Seoul and had been rushed to the emergency room.

Yeonho curled up on the floor, clutching his head in both arms. It felt like a monster was being born inside his skull. The place where a screw had once been lodged in his head now throbbed like it was being split apart.

Fighting back tears, Yeonho slowly stood and turned toward the full-length mirror, staring blankly at his reflection.

He met his own gaze in the mirror. The face staring back wasn’t disfigured or grotesque, it was the same face he had always known. Joo Yeonho’s original face had returned.

Even though all his memories had already returned, the other Joo Yeonho, the one who had hidden in the dark shedding blood-red tears, had finally clawed his way to the surface.

He stepped closer to the mirror. The blurry memories that had been returning all morning now came back in full clarity. He remembered why he had once enlarged a photo of his own face and mutilated it, twisting and ruining each feature.

He had learned that the grotesque face was a delusion, and the beautiful one was real, but that truth brought him no joy.

Seong Junhee had once told him that his beautiful face was the root of all this tragedy. Yeonho had believed him. If only he had been born ugly, none of it would’ve happened. So he had escaped into that fantasy, convincing himself he had always been disfigured, that the awful memories were lies, and that neither he nor Siwoo had suffered.

But it wasn’t true. Everything had happened. The memories were only buried, not erased.

Thinking about what Siwoo had done for him the day of the accident made a bitter laugh escape him. After all that, he’d still dared to ask Siwoo, “Did you kill my brother?” What kind of strength had Siwoo needed to bear that pain? How much suffering had he endured over these past four years?

Yeonho had already shed all the blood-tears he could in the dark. He didn’t want to cry under the light.

***

The accident happened while Siwoo was entering Seoul, forcing him to cancel the meeting with Yeonho’s mother. Siwoo was placed in a single-person room to make it easier for Yeonho to visit. When they finally spoke again, Yeonho blinked blankly, stunned by the news.

It had been a simple collision, caused when a freight truck changed lanes in front of him and slid on the icy road. A common winter accident, not some hit job ordered by Seong Junyoung, as Yeonho had feared. Whatever nonsense Junyoung might have said, there was no way that pompous pervert had the guts to lay a hand on Siwoo.

Siwoo had been hospitalized out of caution, but fortunately, he wasn’t seriously injured. Just a cut on his forehead and some muscle pain. Once the test results were in, he could be discharged in three or four days. After that, he still needed to meet Yeonho’s mother.

Not long after, Yeonho burst into the hospital room, his face messy with tears. His eyes, nose, and lips were all swollen from crying. Siwoo couldn’t hold back a laugh at the sight.

But Yeonho, seeing how relaxed Siwoo looked, snapped.

“Kim Yeonho. How can you laugh right now? Did you hit your head or something?”

“I don’t know. Seeing your face suddenly made me laugh.”

“Oh? Is it because I look ridiculous?”

Yeonho glanced toward the mirror and rubbed his puffy eyelids with his fingers. Siwoo smiled gently and shook his head.

“No. It’s because you’re beautiful. That made me feel better.”

Maybe Siwoo sensed Yeonho still saw himself as a monster. His tone wasn’t joking. Embarrassed, Yeonho stared at the dressing on Siwoo’s forehead and exclaimed.

“Did they stitch your forehead? Is your nose okay?”

“I aimed my forehead on purpose so my nose wouldn’t get hurt. Smart, right?”

“You did good. You really have great reflexes.”

Yeonho gently touched Siwoo’s forehead, muttering things like “This is destruction of public property,” and “You’re damaging a cultural treasure.” Even Siwoo’s vicious father had never left a mark on his face. Watching Yeonho fret, Siwoo said calmly,

“Want to kiss?”

“You’re in the mood to kiss right now?”

“I’m hurting. I need you.”

With a pale face and a sweet expression, Siwoo pulled Yeonho toward him. Their faces drew close, stopping just short of a kiss, as Siwoo waited for Yeonho’s choice.

Of course, Yeonho couldn’t reject him. He gladly pressed his lips to Siwoo’s. As he cupped the back of Siwoo’s head with both hands, he opened his mouth and welcomed the warmth of his tongue. Siwoo’s hands moved gently over Yeonho’s waist and hips.

Yeonho heard about the accident from Siwoo. Just as he had said, the circumstances made it hard to believe this was some kind of planned attack.

Given when Siwoo had left for Seoul and when the accident happened. It seemed unlikely Junyoung, stuck at the hospital, could’ve arranged something in such a short window. Besides, that idiot Junyoung had taken the bait Yeonho tossed him far too easily. He was already under Yeonho’s control.

Still, no matter how much he told himself it was coincidence, Yeonho couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. So he asked Siwoo for the license plate number of the truck that hit him.