F78

Yeonho kissed the peacefully sleeping Siwoo on the face several times before quietly leaving the hospital room at dawn and heading to his family home. As always, his parents were already awake despite the early hour.

He stood still for a moment, locking eyes with his mother. The memory of Seong Junhee’s funeral, filled with people expressing their condolences, suddenly surfaced, stirring a surge of anger. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but for now, he needed to talk to his father first.

“Father, can we talk? It’ll just take a moment.”

His father had never been able to be strict with him. Their relationship was awkward, but it was built on mutual respect and affection. They hadn’t grown close simply because his parents had always been busy and they didn’t spend much time together, not because his father loved him less than his older brothers.

In fact, he might have loved Yeonho more, precisely because he was the obedient son who never caused trouble, unlike his biological sons who had stained the family name.

Of course, that didn’t mean he would take his side. Yeonho had no such expectations. Even his mother hadn’t listened to a single plea in the suicide note he had written. So how could his stepfather be any different? That meant Yeonho needed to give him what he wanted.

He handed his father a cup of coffee he had brewed himself. As Yeonho took a careful sip of the hot tea, he fought to calm his nerves. After all, he was hiding the sin of killing this man’s eldest son.

Before Yeonho could speak, his father opened the conversation. It was as if he already knew why he was there.

“You came to talk about Junyoung, didn’t you? I’m really sorry. I failed as a father.”

“You raised him and me the same way. So it’s not your fault. It’s his.”

His father placed all the blame on Seong Junyoung. There was no sign that he even intended to mention Seong Junhee. Understandably so, he believed Junhee had passed away without a single stain on his record.

Yeonho didn’t plan to bring Junhee up either. So he only spoke of Junyoung.

“I don’t blame you. And I’m going to bury what Junyoung did. I’m not going to tell anyone, and it’ll never come to light. I won’t even tell Mom.”

“Yeonho…”

“And… I started seeing Kim Siwoo recently. It was a light relationship. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know at the time that he was involved in that incident. I’ll end things with him and tell him I made peace with Junyoung. I’ll make sure nothing he knows leaks out. He won’t get involved in our family matters. My family is much more important to me than he is.”

That wasn’t true at all. He couldn’t care less what happened to his damn family. He was swallowing blood to bury his stepbrothers’ crimes for Siwoo’s sake. Only for Siwoo.

His father finally looked relieved once Yeonho finished.

“I was the one who hit Junyoung with the baseball bat. I didn’t have the guts to tell you yesterday.”

“You did that? You, Yeonho?”

Just like his brothers had, his father also found it hard to believe that Yeonho could be violent. Poor thing, he was a murderer now.

“I was so angry. Honestly, I wanted to do worse.”

Yeonho spoke with a voice full of bitterness, and his father tried to comfort him.

“I understand. Of course you felt that way. That bastard deserved more. Maybe it’s my fault for never disciplining him.”

“Let’s just say he played a prank on me that went too far and I hit him, and call it even. I’ll let it go. I’ll sacrifice everything for our family.”

Yeonho finished with a tone that felt like he was carving flesh from his own bones. Then he looked his father in the eye and spoke his real message.

“But if you touch Kim Siwoo… then all of this, everything I’ve planned, it’ll fall apart.”

“…”

“You’ll lose something too. So stop.”

He warned him clearly. Whether or not his father understood what that meant, Yeonho didn’t know.

What Yeonho was saying, what he meant…was that if his father didn’t want all three of his sons, including his stepchild, to end up dead, then he had better leave Siwoo alone. Because Seong Junyoung’s life was still in his hands.

***

Siwoo ran out of the hospital and caught a taxi to head to Yeonho’s family home. After the accident, his car had been sent to the shop, so he had to use another one.

Yeonho didn’t answer the first time he called, but luckily he picked up on the second try. Just hearing his voice brought Siwoo relief. His fear of being abandoned by Yeonho was so deep that even something that small meant everything.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. I never imagined you’d leave me alone while I was sick. You’d been taking care of me like a Tamagotchi not to let me fall ill.”

–Sorry. I had something to take care of. Were you scared being alone? That’s cute.

Yeonho spoke to him like he was a baby. And that one simple line made Siwoo’s heart flutter like a teenager’s. The fact that Yeonho found him cute meant the world.

“You could’ve at least said goodbye if you had to go.”

–I left at dawn. I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake you.

He could’ve at least left a message saying where he was going. Everything Yeonho said now sounded like excuses. Siwoo closed his eyes, exhaled slowly, and continued.

“Where are you? I’m coming to you. Don’t leave my side.”

Right now, being apart from Yeonho filled Siwoo with anxiety. He felt like the only way to stop this panic was to press their bare skin together.

–I went home and saw my parents. Sorry, but I have to head to the resort now. I need to work tomorrow and I also have to talk to Junyoung. So don’t say weird things and just stay in the hospital and get some rest. Don’t think about going anywhere for a while.

As expected, Yeonho was different now. Maybe he should’ve tied their wrists together yesterday. Because he felt so sure Yeonho loved him, he had let his guard down. That was his mistake.

To focus on his call with Yeonho, Siwoo deliberately got out of the taxi some distance from the house. As he walked toward it, he got straight to the point.

“You’ve remembered everything, haven’t you? You scribbled on my palm.”

–Ah, that? Yeah.

It wasn’t something that should be brushed off so lightly, yet Yeonho’s response was nonchalant. Despite how significant it was, he spoke in a detached tone, as if it were nothing.

Siwoo was caught off guard, unsure of how to read Yeonho’s true feelings. But from this moment on, he resolved not to take anything Yeonho said at face value. Yeonho continued.

–I don’t know. I just woke up in the middle of the night, and suddenly everything came back. So I scribbled on your hand for fun.

“I see. Then why did you abandon me back then? You said you’d explain once you remembered. Did something change?”

Since Yeonho wanted to treat this lightly, Siwoo matched his tone as best he could. Now he waited to see how Yeonho would respond to his question.

–No.

“Nothing changed? Everything’s just like I remember it?”

–Once my memories returned, I couldn’t bear to face you. That’s why I left so early without seeing you.

Siwoo closed his eyes and listened. It was clear that Yeonho’s behavior toward him had shifted completely since last night. He thought hard about how to respond so he wouldn’t regret it later.

–The truth is… yeah, I did have feelings for my oldest brother after he confessed. I never expected him to love me romantically. But when he actually said he wanted to be with me, I got excited, wavered… I’m really sorry. I feel awful, like I’m hurting you all over again.

Siwoo didn’t want to experience the pain of losing Yeonho like he had five years ago. So if he wanted to keep him this time, he couldn’t do things the same way. He had to change his approach. He had to make a different choice.

“I see. Got it. Thanks for telling me.”

He accepted Yeonho’s words without a fuss. Yeonho went on.

–And about that day when my brother had the accident… You didn’t have to do that. It was my fault. I know I’m late, but I’m really sorry. And grateful.

“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for myself. I wanted to. So don’t feel sorry, and don’t thank me either.”

–But, hyung…

“Yeah?”

–If I’m being completely honest… remembering everything really shook me. It’s hard being around you. When I’m with you, all I can think about is the mistake I made with my brother. It makes me feel sick.

That probably wasn’t a lie. From Yeonho’s perspective, of course it would be painful. How unbearable it must be, knowing you killed your stepbrother. Siwoo had even wished Yeonho wouldn’t recover his memories.

But did he really not want to be around Siwoo? He didn’t want to believe that. No, he refused to believe it.

“So what you’re saying, Yeonho, is that you don’t want to see me anymore?”

–I’m really sorry. It’s not your fault. I just don’t think I can stand seeing your face right now.

“Okay, I understand how you feel. Go ahead and stay at the resort. I’ll rest here. Actually, maybe I should just quit working there altogether. It’s hard working with someone you don’t want to see. That’s what you want, right?”

Yeonho hesitated, clearly flustered, before answering calmly.

–Yeah. That would help. Thanks.

“What are you going to talk to Seong Junyoung about? There’s still something left to say?”

–I hated him so much yesterday, but… we were brothers and friends our whole lives. I can’t help worrying about him. He kept looking for me last night, probably anxious because I was gone. So I’m going to stay with him tonight.

“Okay. Be with him. If that’s what you want, then you should.”

–There’s one more thing I want to say…

“Go ahead.”

–I can’t just ignore all the years I spent living as his brother. No matter how angry I am, he’s still my family. So I hope you won’t do anything to hurt him or my family. Please just keep it all a secret. That’s what I want.

“If that’s what the victim wants, then that’s what I’ll do. Who am I to say otherwise?”

–I don’t want any trouble because of me. I don’t want you getting hurt because of my brother either. If you’re angry, take it out on me. You came to Korea because you hated me, right? To make me suffer.

“Right. And here I was, forgetting all that because you kept acting like you loved me so much.”

Siwoo accepted everything Yeonho said with an empty tone. After the call ended, he burst into laughter. As he grabbed his car keys from the empty house and headed for the garage, he muttered to himself.

“Do whatever you want, Joo Yeonho. It’s not going to go the way you think anyway.”

Now that he had finished the call, he felt even more determined to find the phone Yeonho had been using. Siwoo contacted Yeonho’s mother again and arranged to meet her, heading to the residence hotel run by Yeonho’s family. The reason she hadn’t visited Junyoung in the hospital the day before was because she had work at the hotel over the weekend.

He opened the door to her office. Her face, so much like Yeonho’s, greeted him, along with a nameplate bearing a name that had long remained faint in his memory but now surfaced clearly, Cha Gyeongshin.