F88

Yeonho pulled out the IV needle from his arm and sat down across from Siwoo on the sofa. Siwoo kissed the bridge of Yeonho’s nose. Curled up small in Siwoo’s arms, Yeonho squeezed his eyes shut each time Siwoo’s lips touched him. To Yeonho, this man had only been back in his life for three hours, so every moment still felt nerve-wracking and tense.

After pressing two kisses to Yeonho’s nose, Siwoo spoke gently.

“As we spend time together, all those memories you’ve forgotten will come back eventually. And when they do, I’ll tell you everything. I won’t hide anything from you. None of it is something Joo Yeonho should just ignore. Leaving you in the dark feels dishonest.”

Yeonho nodded. He could already tell something huge had happened between him and Siwoo. There aren’t many people who experience two skiing accidents and lose their memories twice.

Siwoo pressed a kiss to Yeonho’s forehead before continuing.

“Hearing it all might be hard. But I hope you’ll still trust me and lean on me.”

“I will.”

Siwoo’s gaze softened with concern. In the end, tears welled up in his eyes.

“You don’t have to die to save me anymore.”

Yeonho could sense that both of his accidents had happened because he loved Siwoo. He didn’t remember everything, but he was sure of one thing: he had loved Siwoo with a desperate, life-risking passion.

If he had sacrificed himself for Siwoo, there must have been a reason. But right now, what mattered more than any of that was the urge to make him happy. Yeonho nodded firmly. He simply wanted to trust and follow this man.

Seeing the tears in Siwoo’s eyes, Yeonho’s own eyes filled as well. Siwoo gently wiped them away with the back of his hand and spoke in a calm voice.

“You’ve already done everything you could for me. Now let’s live together.”

“…”

“I’ll do everything I can for you too.”

The moment he heard those words, Yeonho felt every lingering negative emotion inside him dissolve.

Joo Yeonho, who had once been a carefree child, had grown into a nervous and anxious adult. He was always shrinking back, easily frightened. Not knowing the reason for his anxiety had been the worst part. Now, for the first time, his tense body and mind felt calm.

What he needed had been right in front of him all along. This person. And the certainty this person gave him. The tremble in his voice was no longer fear but excitement.

“Promise me you’ll never leave again, hyung. I’ll do everything you say. I’ll be good.”

Yeonho had changed how he addressed Siwoo, now calling him hyung. The way he said it was so sweet that Siwoo had to stifle a laugh.

“Lies. Joo Yeonho never listens to me. You’re really kind and lovely, but you’re so kind it makes things hard for me. I wish you were just a little less kind.”

“I really will listen now. I won’t make you worry anymore. So hurry and promise you won’t leave.”

“Are you really going to listen to me?”

“Yes. I’ll do whatever you say. Now promise.”

Yeonho looked at Siwoo’s hand, still in a cast, with sympathy in his eyes. Then he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to a red scratch on Siwoo’s face. He gave several soft kisses, then licked over the wound with his tongue.

Siwoo stayed perfectly still, letting Yeonho do as he pleased. But when Yeonho started licking his lips, his expression twisted into a helpless laugh. Heat rushed through his body. He held Yeonho’s gaze, then brought his lips close to his ear and whispered.

“If I said everything I’m thinking right now, would you be disgusted? You’d probably feel like I was doing something indecent.”

Yeonho could already feel it, the weight between Siwoo’s legs pressing against his own each time they kissed. Honestly, he would have been disappointed if Siwoo hadn’t been aroused. Blinking mischievously, Yeonho replied,

“Just say it. Tell me what you’re thinking when you look at me. This is all part of gathering information. It’ll help the memories come back faster.”

“Come on, what kind of guy has those thoughts when someone’s still recovering…”

“I’m fine, except for the head wound. They said there’s nothing else wrong.”

“You were unconscious for two days.”

“That’s because I was just really sleepy.”

Already ready to kiss Siwoo just three hours after meeting him again, Yeonho boldly parted his lips and stuck out his soft, pink tongue.

Siwoo didn’t hesitate, he leaned in and licked it. He rubbed his tongue against Yeonho’s, then slid deeper, past the root, stirring inside Yeonho’s mouth. Saliva mingled as he explored every corner. Though it was already their third kiss, Yeonho still trembled like a boy having his first as he swallowed down Siwoo’s tongue.

When they finally broke apart, Yeonho’s lips were flushed and slick. He gasped for air. Siwoo brought his face close to Yeonho’s again and whispered in a low voice.

“Wash me. Let me show you my body. I want to see yours too.”

Yeonho stared at Siwoo’s face as if mesmerized, then nodded without hesitation. He felt exactly the same.

The hospital room they were using alone had a shower. Yeonho took Siwoo there and locked the door. Facing him, he reached out with trembling hands and undressed him, pulling off the gray knit sweater.

Looking at his firm, well-toned chest was revealed, Yeonho blushed and pressed a kiss to it. Then another, slowly lower. When his lips brushed a nipple, he parted them and took it into his mouth.

Just like during their kiss, he licked at it with the tip of his tongue. Then he knelt down, licking his way to Siwoo’s navel, and kissed the hard ridges of his abs. Once fully on his knees, he pressed his face to the front of Siwoo’s pants, rubbing his cheek against the heavy bulge and pressing into it with his lips. A groan escaped Siwoo’s throat.

Yeonho lifted his head and looked at Siwoo’s flushed face. He wanted to touch him. No, he needed to. He placed his palms against Siwoo’s back, feeling the shape of bone and muscle, then traced from his shoulder to his wrist.

Siwoo let himself be touched, but his voice was full of longing.

“This isn’t fair. I can’t use my hands. I want to touch your body too.”

“Then hurry up and get better. I’ll let you touch me as much as you want.”

Yeonho gently supported Siwoo’s left hand, which was in a cast all the way to the wrist. Looking at it stirred a strange feeling in him. A memory flashed through his mind.

They said all his memories had returned once before, so maybe that was why. They were coming back even faster than he’d expected.

Swallowing hard, Yeonho looked at Siwoo with teary eyes and asked,

“When this cast comes off… will there be scars from self-harm?”

Siwoo nodded quietly.

Yeonho remembered the way Siwoo’s once flawless skin had been covered in bruises and scars. Tears welled up. He was now certain that every flash of imagery appearing in his mind was something from the past. With confidence, he asked,

“You asked me to protect you, didn’t you? I remember everything that happened that day. The first time you took off your clothes and showed me your body.”

Siwoo nodded again. Yeonho had remembered the moment Siwoo had first revealed his vulnerable self to him. And along with it came every feeling of pity and protectiveness. The tears that had gathered finally fell.

Yeonho said something he’d never been able to say before, forcing it out through a trembling voice.

“You’re a fragile person. I was always afraid that one day you’d just disappear. That you’d die after being hurt by your father. I lived every moment with that fear. All I could think about was stopping it.”

Siwoo, sensing how unstable Yeonho was, pulled him into his arms and kissed him hard and deep before replying.

“I’m sorry. I made it that way. I thought if I showed you how weak I was, you wouldn’t be able to throw me away. That was my biggest mistake. Showing you all of that and making someone like you believe I could hurt myself. You always said you were the bad one…”

Then, he slowly began to say the words Yeonho needed to hear most.

“There’s something I never got to say after we reunited. I didn’t have the chance.”

“What is it?”

Siwoo answered with clarity and certainty.

“I don’t let my father hit me anymore. And I don’t cut my wrists. I’m not that person anymore.”

Yeonho, who had been close to breaking down, stood firm again under the weight of Siwoo’s steady gaze.

“For four years, I survived just by holding on to the thought of returning to you. To survive, I had to become stronger. I was treated like a bug, and there were a hundred times I wanted to die. But all I thought about was staying alive. In the end, I got stronger. I survived. So that means it was you who made me strong.”

“…”

“Joo Yeonho. Yeonho.”

Siwoo called his name gently. Then, he corrected something Yeonho had misunderstood.

“Now, the only person who can kill me or save me is you. No one else can even touch me. No one can hurt me. The only one who can destroy me is you. Remember that.”

“…”

“If you stop loving me, I’ll die. If you leave me, I’ll die. So always love me. No matter what happens between us, if you want to protect me, say that you love me. And stay with me. That’s the only way I’ll live.”

Yeonho took in every single word like a command, carving them into his mind and heart. A new sense of responsibility rose in his chest.

It was Joo Yeonho who made Kim Siwoo strong. And it was Kim Siwoo who would make Joo Yeonho strong in return.