F91

Yeonho lightly gripped Siwoo’s hair as he stared at the trembling door handle. He heard crude curses, but not once did he feel scared or threatened by Seong Junyoung.

To Yeonho, Seong Junyoung was still just an unpleasant, intrusive presence who kept having a bad influence on Siwoo, a pathetic pervert whose life he had generously spared once.

Tearing his gaze away from the door, he looked down at Siwoo’s head moving between his legs, at his own cock slipping in and out of Siwoo’s mouth. Just as he had knelt to suck Siwoo off so many times out of habit, Siwoo now knelt and took his cock and his cum into his mouth and down his throat.

And still, Yeonho couldn’t believe that this man was doing this to him. No one who knew Siwoo would ever believe it. That Kim Siwoo would kneel in front of another man and suck his cock.

Just the fact that Siwoo was doing something like this made his excitement ten times stronger. His relentless desire to possess Siwoo, to monopolize him, had not faded at all. The fact that Siwoo showed this side of himself to no one but Yeonho made him lovable.

Yeonho’s hips were twitching forward, like he was thrusting into Siwoo’s mouth of his own accord.

He gently stroked Siwoo’s hair and whispered in a voice barely audible.

“I believe you, hyung. I believe that no one else can hurt you but me.”

Siwoo couldn’t answer with his mouth full, but as if to reply in the affirmative, he caressed the back of Yeonho’s hand with his right palm. Then he looked up and met Yeonho’s gaze. Yeonho touched the hollow of Siwoo’s cheek, then had the sudden urge to feel Siwoo’s Adam’s apple as his cock pushed down his throat and made it bulge.

A faint moan escaped his lips.

Seong Junyoung started kicking the door, but it only excited Yeonho even more. He didn’t bother suppressing the moans leaking out, letting them unfiltered. Eventually, Seong Junyoung cursed loudly and stopped kicking.

When Yeonho felt himself getting close, he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled out of Siwoo’s mouth. The choice of where to finish was always his. Cupping Siwoo’s cheek, he rubbed his tip along Siwoo’s under-eye and the bridge of his nose. Siwoo closed his eyes, and his long, full lashes quickly became wet with thick fluid. It trickled slowly down his cheek and nose.

Yeonho often thought about taking photos of Siwoo like this. The only reason he never acted on it was because he loved him. Love frequently twisted his desires, but it also always stopped him from crossing the line.

He had countless thoughts of doing terrible things to Siwoo, purely out of lust. But they always stayed thoughts. What he actually did in the end was always the opposite. Neither Seong Junhee nor Seong Junyoung could ever understand what this feeling was.

As Yeonho’s cock began to retreat, Siwoo leaned forward and took it back into his mouth, licking off the leftover cum cleanly. Yeonho helped him stand, then wrapped his hand around Siwoo’s twitching cock, stroking it until he came. He wiped Siwoo’s face clean with a tissue.

“I’ll go out and talk to Seong Junyoung. Just wait a bit. I’ll wash you up when I come back, so don’t touch anything.”

“Why? It doesn’t matter anymore. I told you, I’ll take care of that asshole.”

“There’s something I have to deal with. Let me handle that part myself.”

He looked at Siwoo with eyes that pleaded, just once, to be trusted. Siwoo stared at him, but eventually nodded. Yeonho left Siwoo in the shower and closed the door behind him. As soon as Yeonho appeared, Seong Junyoung stomped toward him with a furious face.

“You fucking kidding me? Kim Siwoo’s in there, isn’t he? Tell him to come out right now. I’ll kill him.”

“Come outside and smoke with me.”

Yeonho spoke calmly, saying only what he wanted, not reacting at all to Junyoung’s threats. Because Yeonho walked straight past him without responding, Junyoung had no choice but to follow.

Siwoo, who stayed behind in the shower just as Yeonho told him, stepped out soon after they left the room. He was afraid Junyoung might physically or verbally attack Yeonho, and though it pained him, he also didn’t fully trust Yeonho.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in Yeonho’s love. He just couldn’t trust the decisions he might make. No matter how sincere Yeonho sounded, that anxiety never went away.

Even though Yeonho loved him like his life depended on it, the moment things got tough, Siwoo always feared he’d be abandoned. Even if they managed to stay together, could this chronic anxiety ever be cured? He might just go on trembling forever, loving Yeonho with fear in his heart.

Standing at the smoking area in front of the hospital, Yeonho took a cigarette between his lips. As he lit it, Seong Junyoung lashed out at him.

“You were dating Kim Siwoo since freshman year and you fucking hid it from me?”

“Was it really hiding? I only found out myself not too long ago.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You lost your virginity at twenty? Fuck, if I’d known that, I would’ve fucked you before you turned legal. I didn’t even go near your ass because I thought it wasn’t opened yet. You don’t even know how grateful you should be that I waited. And now you stab me in the back?”

The most outrageous part was that what angered Junyoung most was not having raped Yeonho earlier. To feel hatred for a man who saw him as someone he could rape at any time seemed like a waste of emotion. Yeonho didn’t say a word. He simply exhaled smoke.

Junyoung kept pushing.

“So you really got close to me on purpose, just to mess with me over that bastard? You pretending you lost your memory again? You think I don’t know you’re faking it? How the fuck are you going to make up for my dick not working? You two think you can toy with me? I’ll kill both you and Kim Siwoo.”

Threatening to hurt Siwoo. That was Yeonho’s greatest weakness. Just like always, he unconsciously flinched and opened his eyes wide. But a moment later, he relaxed and let the strain fall from his gaze.

He remembered the voice with which Siwoo had once pleaded and begged so desperately. Siwoo was someone who couldn’t unleash his hatred on others and instead turned it inward, hurting himself just to survive each day. Yeonho believed him when he said he wouldn’t do that again. He believed him when he said he had grown stronger. Siwoo had changed, so now it was Yeonho’s turn. If he didn’t change, nothing else ever would.

Yeonho flicked off the ash from his cigarette and looked at Seong Junyoung with disdain, his voice low.

“Hey.”

He had decided he would no longer call him hyung. There were only three people in the world he had ever addressed with that single word instead of their names: Seong Junhee, Seong Junyoung, and Kim Siwoo. At some point, he’d started using the same term for all three of them, and it made him feel guilty toward Siwoo. From now on, only one of them would be called that.

“Why do you keep acting like you’re the victim?”

He genuinely wanted to know. Caught off guard by Yeonho’s reaction, Seong Junyoung scoffed and answered with a sneer.

“Because I am the victim. I’ve got every right. There’s plenty of evidence that you came on to me first. You’re the one who asked me out. You hit me too. Should I show all that to Mom? You think I won’t?”

“Mom. Wow, are you in kindergarten? Dragging Mom and Dad into everything like a kid? Dad, he’s bullying me, make him stop! I’m telling Mom!”

Mocking him in a child’s voice, Yeonho laughed.

Up until now, he had never been sure his mother would take his side. She had always turned a blind eye to what Seong Junhee had done, and he had never trusted her. But now, things were different.

That morning, after Yeonho had told her he had regained all his memories, his mother had sent him a long message.

Yeonho. The most precious thing in the world to me is you. I don’t need your father, or the business, or anything else. None of it matters if I lose you.
After almost losing you twice, I’ve spent so many nights trying to understand why you would make that choice again. Was it because remembering the past was too painful? Was it because I let you down? Or was there something else I didn’t know?
Whatever the reason, I know this much. The fact that you threw your body off that cliff again is something I bear a huge responsibility for. If there’s more to it, please tell me.
Maybe you’ll never understand my choices. I can’t deny that I didn’t want to lose your father, that I had too much to give up.
But I truly wanted you to live without having to remember. I wanted you to be okay. I know now that choice must have disappointed you.
I don’t want to lose you. If this ever happens again, I won’t be able to go on. Please, let’s say everything we’ve been holding in. I love you, Yeonho.

Reading that message, Yeonho didn’t cry. He smiled, wide and bright. He didn’t feel sad at all. He only felt happy.

His mother wanted him to live. She wanted him to be happy. Knowing he still had a single person in his family he could rely on was something that filled him with overwhelming gratitude. Just having her on his side changed everything.

After Yeonho had survived that second brush with death, his mother had accepted Siwoo as her son’s lover and entrusted him with Yeonho. She was really grateful that Siwoo had saved his life not once, but twice.

To Yeonho, his father was someone he couldn’t approach emotionally. But one thing was certain. His father loved his mother. He wouldn’t want to break this family apart.

And there was one thing Seong Junyoung didn’t know yet.

Yeonho tilted his head slightly and said to him,

“You keep going on and on about Mom, so maybe I should bring her up too. She already knows your brother was a twisted bastard who molested me.”

“What?”

Junyoung had believed that no one besides him and their father had ever learned the truth about Seong Junhee, not even until the day he died. Now that belief had shattered, he realized he was no longer in a position of power.

“Do you think she’d believe you, the brother of that man, or me? What do you think?”

Yeonho exhaled smoke and sighed, looking at him with contempt. Junyoung did the math in his head. If their mother got involved and took Yeonho’s side, everything got messy. From what Junyoung knew, his father’s top priority had always been his wife. If he lost even his father to Yeonho, there was no one left.

Snuffing out the cigarette, Yeonho leaned in and whispered into Junyoung’s ear.

“I’m the one who snapped your brother’s neck and killed him. If you don’t want to end up the same way, shut your mouth and live quietly. And stop whining about Mom and Dad.”

With that, he walked away, leaving Junyoung behind.

He had only decided to back down because Siwoo had asked him to give him a chance. Yeonho had chosen to leave what came next to him. Surely, someone who had been hurt by the person they loved had something they wanted to do in return. Now that his mind was no longer unstable, he would do it in the most rational way.

Yeonho widened his stride and headed back to Siwoo. The only fear he had left now was the guilt of having taken a life and still going on as if nothing had happened.

He had to fight the part of himself that kept wrapping its hands around his throat.

For Siwoo’s sake.