F96

“Your existence is ruining Kim Yeonho’s life.”

Yeonho still found himself recalling those words, which Seong Junhee had drilled into him endlessly. Back then, he’d heard it so many times that he believed someone like Joo Yeonho, who had caused such disaster, should never have existed in the first place.

Siwoo worked every day to dull and pull out that lingering thorn embedded in Yeonho’s mind.

“Yeonho, if it weren’t for you, I’d be a pile of white bones by now. Just a scoop of bone dust.”

“Why would you say something so scary, hyung?”

“Do you get it now, how important you are to me? Without you, I wouldn’t even have a self. You are my sense of self.”

“Me too. But still, it’s not okay for you to love me more than you love yourself.”

“Why not? I like you more than I like me.”

“No. Because I loved you more than myself, I ended up hurting you. From now on, we’re going to love each other equally. That way, there’ll be no more reasons for you to be sad.”

Yeonho was trying to return to the version of himself who had once equated Joo Yeonho and Kim Yeonho as one and the same. He wanted to prove, in a different way this time, that Joo Yeonho wasn’t an obstacle ruining Kim Yeonho’s life. That’s why even his recent, trivial decisions were made with that goal in mind.

For their future together, the resort had to be running smoothly. Now that his father had taken his side, there was no longer any reason for him to hide himself as the victim. From his father’s standpoint, it was better to reveal everything and publicly sever ties with the two sons who had turned out to be monsters.

As expected, his mother hadn’t been able to let go of his father. But she seemed truly sorry toward her son and now spoke more firmly on his behalf. Yeonho figured that if he hadn’t once again chosen death, his mother wouldn’t have gone this far.

There was only one thing he kept repeating to himself: to become the person who could protect Siwoo, who could make him happy. Nothing else mattered. Not his resentment toward his parents, not revenge on his stepbrothers.

Yeonho wasn’t a producer, but he felt confident that if someone followed the trail from the mysterious accident at Platte Resort two months ago and traced the cause, it would make for compelling investigative content. Maybe call it something like: “Why Did He Throw Himself Down the Ski Slope?”

During a meeting with the producer, whom Yeonho had previously interviewed, Siwoo denied the entire content of Yeonho’s previous testimony from start to finish.

“This guy’s a little unwell.”

Yeonho, who did indeed suffer from a mental disorder, simply blinked his wide eyes beside Siwoo and quietly agreed.

“I am mentally unwell. But I’ve been getting treatment, and I’m doing much better.”

“Don’t believe anything he says. I’ve spent my life being fooled by his lies.”

Yeonho turned to blink at him again. There was a strange honesty in Siwoo’s voice. But since it wasn’t entirely wrong, liar Yeonho gave one more nod to support him.

“I really did lie a lot until recently. But I’m getting treated now.”

The interview unfolded exactly how Siwoo wanted. Yeonho simply let everything go his way.

To willingly accept love and kindness from the other person without rejecting it. But also to never again make sacrifices the other person didn’t want. They had pinky-promised to uphold those two rules from now on.

So, they told everything, except for one single truth. They revealed all the facts and offered up the evidence. With Yeonho’s previous confession, saying he had tried to kill Seong Junhee over inheritance, now dismissed as false. The credibility of his claim that he’d murdered Junhee on purpose naturally crumbled too.

The interview was reinterpreted with a single sentence:
“Before Joo Yeonho tried to take his own life due to ongoing sexual abuse by his stepbrothers, he tried to protect his family and Kim Yeonho by taking all the burden onto himself.”

Even though a clearer motive for murder was now evident, there was no way to pursue it. The investigation had long since closed, Siwoo had claimed responsibility for the incident, there was no evidence, and their father had even submitted a written statement declaring his intention to protect and atone for his adopted son, not his biological one.

Yeonho had only one request. He had no intention of interfering with the coverage or editing, but asked that the airtime involving Seong Junyoung, currently under prosecution, be kept to a minimum.

He didn’t want to feed attention to someone who craved it. Seong Junyoung was now under strict isolation, closely watched by both parents, awaiting his sentencing. He would no doubt celebrate the rise in followers after the broadcast, sitting in his room like a pathetic creep, starting up a livestream.

***

After returning to Seoul, Siwoo spent some time living in a hotel with Yeonho. During the two months it took for his hand to heal and new fingernails to grow, Yeonho carefully searched for a place they could live together, furnishing it with care and attention.

As spring of the new year began, Siwoo – having finally declared estrangement from his parents – received a text from Yeonho with just an address. He moved his belongings out of storage, and from the moment he stepped into the new home where Yeonho was listed as head of household and he as the second resident, Kim Siwoo’s life began anew.

Yeonho had filled the place as if preparing a newlywed home. That made Siwoo remember the summer six years ago, when he had scrambled to prepare a place for Yeonho at too young an age. Yeonho was now doing exactly the same thing, giving back the love he once received, down to every detail.

As they looked through the living room and each bedroom together, all the time they’d spent apart began to feel like a dream. The feelings they’d shared back then flowed into the present, so much so that it was hard to even remember how it had felt to be apart. Despite the years when they couldn’t even see each other’s faces, it now felt like they had never been separated at all.

For those two months, Yeonho had worked himself to the bone juggling adult responsibilities while taking care of Siwoo. He returned home late, punching in the familiar passcode, and quietly opened the bedroom door.

Siwoo was lying on the bed, wearing nothing but gray sweatpants, sleeping peacefully. Yeonho stood there, dazed, then leaned in and kissed him gently. He listened to the sound of Siwoo breathing, full of adoration, and whispered in a voice small and trembling.

“I want to swallow you whole.”

He wanted to keep Siwoo inside him, warm and safe. Having a thought that terrifying made him feel like everything had truly returned to where it should be. This was the original Joo Yeonho.

The feeling of completely having Siwoo, of belonging, surged through him. At the same time, an even stronger possessiveness awakened. It was proof that the more he loved Siwoo, the more he had begun to love himself again too.

Yeonho now understood what it meant when people said, “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” He wanted to repay Siwoo for the pain he had endured over the past five years, for fifty or sixty more years, maybe even in the next life, if Siwoo would let him.

After showering, Yeonho returned and climbed into bed in just a loosely tied robe. Siwoo was still sleeping. Yeonho didn’t have the heart to wake him. So he simply leaned forward and kissed him softly, over and over, on the lips, the jaw, the Adam’s apple, the hollow of his throat, his chest, his stomach, his navel.

When his lips reached the base of Siwoo’s cock, he paused, catching his breath, then slowly made his way back up, tracing the same path in reverse. He kissed his Adam’s apple again, then lifted his torso and head.

That was when Siwoo, who had been pretending to sleep with his eyes closed, pressed his palm against Yeonho’s back. Through the parted robe, a pale chest and pink nipples slipped into Siwoo’s mouth.

“Ah…”

Lying beneath Siwoo, Yeonho gasped at the sudden jolt of sensation and stroked his hair.

“Hyung, does it feel good?”

Siwoo released the nipple from his lips, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. Then he moved to the other side.

“It feels amazing. So soft.”

Every time Siwoo ran his tongue over Yeonho’s firm but supple body, Yeonho was grateful that he didn’t have a bulky build. Though he personally preferred someone with Siwoo’s frame, it mattered more that his body was the kind Siwoo liked.

“Hnn…”

Both nipples were swollen now. Siwoo had alternated between them, sucking hard until the color deepened. Then, without warning, he pushed Yeonho down onto the bed.

Yeonho lay flat on his stomach as Siwoo pushed the robe up to his waist. His pale ass, small but perfectly shaped as if sculpted with care, came into view, framed by his long, straight legs.

With hands that had finally recovered enough to function in daily life, Siwoo grabbed Yeonho’s ass and squeezed. The red imprint of his fingers was left on the skin. He spread the cheeks apart, revealing the small, tight hole he loved so much.