Chapter 72 – Rain-Drenched Puppy

If it were before, Yan Ankuo would have softened at the sight of Bian Ji’s appearance, but today he wasn’t going to fall for it. His tone was coldly indifferent, “Since you know, why didn’t you say anything?”

Bian Ji stood straight, answering like a student eager to answer a question, raising his hand quickly then lowering it again, smoothing out the wrinkles on his clothes where they had been pinched, “I didn’t want to burden you with my troubles.”

Yan Ankuo took a deep breath to adjust his emotions, feeling both helpless and angry, “Bian Ji, do you understand what our relationship is?”

Bian Ji didn’t understand why he was asking this, cautiously responding, “Lovers…”

These two words were said so hesitantly, making him seem very much like a little dog circling its owner.

Yan Ankuo was struck instantly, wanting to hug him but also thinking he shouldn’t forgive him too easily. He countered, “Since we’re lovers, would you think that the mess I encountered before was a bother to you?”

This time, Bian Ji answered firmly, “Of course not!”

Yan Ankuo spread his hands as if to explain the logic to him, “Then, by the same token, why did you think your problems would be a bother to me?”

Bian Ji was taken aback for a few seconds, having to admit that Yan Ankuo had a talent for persuasion and logical reasoning, unraveling the knot he couldn’t untangle.

Bian Ji approached, mumbling and shaking Yan Ankuo’s hand, “I’m sorry, I didn’t consider it thoroughly. Scold me.”

Yan Ankuo was disarmed by his shaking, but leaving the problem unresolved wasn’t an option.

Many times before, one of them would soften or act cute, leading to more hugs and kisses and reconciliation, but problems couldn’t be solved that way. The more they glossed over things, the easier it was for cracks to form. This was the lesson Mr. Yan, the scholar, had learned from previous awkward situations.

Despite knowing this, he still couldn’t resist running his fingers through Bian Ji’s hair, “Go inside first, later we can talk via video call.”

Bian Ji immediately panicked, “Video call? You aren’t coming in with me?”

Yan Ankuo stated confidently, “My house has already been repainted, and the harasser has been detained. What reason do I have not to go home?”

Bian Ji thought he was acting out of spite, blurting out, “But…but doesn’t the paint need to air out? What if there’s another one after this one? Isn’t it dangerous for you to just go back like that?”

He knew there were zero-VOC odorless paint options, and it was impossible for him not to return home out of fear of a harasser, yet he still used these strange reasons as shields, not revealing his true thoughts.

Yan Ankuo had to explain the logic, something even a primary school student could easily understand, “Since you said you don’t want to burden me, it means there’s still a clear boundary in your eyes. Therefore, I have to respect your boundaries, rather than just doing as I please, taking advantage of the situation as an invader, right?”

Bian Ji’s eyes were red-rimmed, his mouth slightly agape, his brows furrowed, “No, that’s not what I meant!”

Yan Ankuo said “I’m listening,” looking at him calmly.

“I…I worry about you, I really do!”

Bian Ji hadn’t realized that, under pressure, he could actually face his deepest fears and evasions.

“In fact, I’m not afraid of cohabitation anymore. Living with you makes me feel secure. I’ve never felt this safe living with anyone else.”

Whether it was genuine worry that Yan Ankuo would leave or the release of pent-up emotions over several days, Bian Ji became increasingly agitated, unable to hold back the tears in his voice, “You aren’t an invader, you aren’t like others.

“You are…a part of me.”

As he spoke, Bian Ji suddenly bent down, burying his face in Yan Ankuo’s body, his shoulders heaving, “Please don’t do this, I’m dying of heartache.”

Yan Ankuo’s heart stirred, silently embracing him, his ringed hand caressing his head.

After a long while, the motion sensor light flickered on and off at the front door, Yan Ankuo said, “Don’t cry.”

Bian Ji couldn’t help himself; the grievances he’d suppressed for ten years seemed to break through the dam at this moment. Yan Ankuo listened, his heart aching, but he didn’t stop this catharsis, quietly pulling out tissues to wipe away his tears.

“Do you know what I’m really angry about?” Yan Ankuo asked seriously.

Bian Ji said through sobs, “Angry that I didn’t tell you the truth.”

“No.” Yan Ankuo resumed his icy tone, almost threatening to explode if Bian Ji gave the wrong answer again, “I’m angry because you always hide things from me and suffer in silence.”

Bian Ji suddenly looked up, his pupils moving.

“You always think about how others are, never caring about your own comfort. Being complained about is like this, settling out of court is like this, and even…maybe agreeing to cohabitation just now is like this.”

When Yan Ankuo mentioned the last point, Bian Ji hastily raised his hand to deny it, but the lawyer didn’t give him a chance to refute, continuing, “I’m your boyfriend. We’ve experienced so many crises, conflicts, even life and death together. I don’t want to be unable to share your suffering, even adding to it.”

This time, Yan Ankuo was straightforward, believing Bian Ji could understand his intentions.

In the beginning, when people first got together, they always hid their flaws, not daring to argue, not daring to have tempers. At the first sign of disagreement, someone would compromise, never addressing the real issues. But this way of resolving things was no longer applicable. They shared so many scars and vulnerabilities, they deserved love more complex and deeper than just hormones.

Yan Ankuo called Bian Ji’s name, pressing his nose against his lover’s, “I hope we’re genuinely ready to become part of each other’s lives, forming lifelong bonds instead of being just fair-weather lovers who only share good news. Do you understand?”

Bian Ji paused, his mouth drooping slightly, his eyes red, looking pitiful, “I understand…I’ve made up my mind.”

Bian Ji gripped the other’s collar tightly, squeezing so hard that Yan Ankuo couldn’t breathe, “I changed the password on the door lock, really, to your birthday — I’m ready to live with you…ready to deal with whatever comes, as long as we’re together!”

Yan Ankuo emphasized, “I’ve said it before, don’t suffer in silence, not even for me.”

Bian Ji shook his head, “Really! No suffering at all! I’ve thought about it for a long time!”

Because he was too anxious, Bian Ji rushed forward to kiss Yan Ankuo.

There was a chill from outside on his lips, the kiss lacking any technique, yet frighteningly sincere.

At first, Yan Ankuo didn’t respond, but Bian Ji was like a big dog worried about being abandoned, using every ounce of his strength, which was impossible to resist.

Yan Ankuo gradually became aroused, finally starting to kiss him seriously, trying to warm his tongue.

The motion sensor light flickered on and off, until finally the entire hallway fell into darkness.

Yan Ankuo coughed, pinching Bian Ji’s neck to make him look into his eyes.

“I really want to face everything with you, truly truly truly.” Bian Ji’s eyes were still red, stomping his feet, “Ah, how do I get someone to believe me!”

“…I didn’t doubt you.” Yan Ankuo said, tapping under his eye, sighing helplessly, “Rain-drenched puppy.”

“Really believe me?” Bian Ji wiped his face, “Did I explain myself clearly?”

“Yes, you did.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Don’t know, depends on your performance.”

Bian Ji smiled bashfully, wiping his eyes, pointing at the password lock, “Then I’ll open the door.”

Yan Ankuo crossed his arms, “Go ahead.”

Bian Ji still wasn’t reassured, repeating, “You have to watch the password.”

Yan Ankuo stepped closer, saying, “Watching.”

Thus, Bian Ji lit up the panel, in front of Yan Ankuo, inputting the unlock code: 231214.