FLIA 63

“First, I want to make it clear that I would never treat you lightly like that.”

“Ah! Of course! I didn’t mean to say that you were… that kind of person, Mr. Hyunmook!”

“Mr. Hyunmook?”

His gaze lingered on Yohan as he spoke, and something about it looked a little sad, prompting Yohan to quietly correct himself.

“…Hyunmook-hyung.”

He shifted uncomfortably in the skull-shaped chair. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought this up. But that regret didn’t last long. Deep down, Yohan really wanted to understand exactly what kind of relationship they had. Even though they got along so well, sometimes he was kept awake at night, wondering how Hyunmook truly saw him.

“Anyway, I just wanted to ask. I mean…”

But how was he supposed to put it? Yohan had almost no experience with love, and with someone like him as the other party, the words wouldn’t come easily. His face flushed redder and redder, and perhaps out of sympathy, Hyunmook’s brows knit softly.

“Yohan-ah. I think you’re… so, so, so…”

Even though he already has been purified earlier, Yohan could’ve sworn he saw a red glint shimmer in his eyes again. It was probably a trick of the light, or maybe just how being around Hyunmook always made him so tense.

“Precious and irreplaceable.”

At some point, Hyunmook had knelt down in front of him. Yohan tried to scramble down to the floor as well, flustered, but Hyunmook’s hands held his knees in place. It felt like being pinned down by a firm cushion.

“So if it’s something you want, whatever it is… I’d do it for you.”

Yohan didn’t know how to feel about that. There was something oddly unsettling about the way he phrased it. After a brief pause, he asked carefully,

“Is it because I’m a purifier?”

Because I’m a purifier, someone amazing like him is being nice to me. That assumption had always tormented Yohan. He couldn’t shake the doubt, would Hyunmook treat him the same if he wasn’t a purifier?

But Hyunmook refuted that thought head-on.

“No. It’s because you’re the only one who ever ran to save me. Not just once, but twice, you protected me.”

“O-oh…”

Yohan’s chest slowly filled with an overwhelming kind of joy. He remembered those moments when he’d thrown himself into danger to protect Hyunmook, fighting against the Flood. He’d been terrified, but it had all been worth it.

“Even if you weren’t a purifier, I would still have considered you the most precious person to me.”

Only then did Yohan’s face truly brighten. He briefly rested his forehead on the knees Hyunmook held, then lifted his head. Through the tousled white hair falling over his forehead, Hyunmook’s black eyes looked up at him.

“I’m not really the talkative type, am I? Maybe that’s why you started having thoughts like that… If it’s hard to believe me, should I try to be more honest?”

Overwhelmed with emotion, Yohan was about to say it wasn’t necessary—but hesitated. If he didn’t say this now, he might never get the chance. So he dug a little deeper.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you.”

“It’s not?”

Hyunmook echoed him in a soft, sweet voice, like whipped cream. Yohan’s breath caught, and he paused to gather himself.

“I mean, I… I like you. In that way. But I’m a guy. So I thought… maybe that would bother you…”

“Hmm… Yohan-ah. You’re a person.”

“Yes? I am.”

Yohan answered, confused. Hyunmook seemed to take his time, carefully choosing his words.

“So as long as you’re a person, I don’t care about anything else.”

“Ah! So you mean… you’re okay with both men and women? You’re bisexual?”

“…Mm. I guess that’s right.”

He answered a beat late, then fell quiet for a moment before continuing more seriously.

“Actually, now that I think about it, I think I’d be okay even if you weren’t human. You’d still be cute, I’m sure.”

Even if I wasn’t human? What kind of thing was that to say? Puzzled and a bit anxious, Yohan quickly clarified,

“You… you know I’m not a sheep, right? That’s just my surname!”

“Should I purify him a bit more?” Yohan was wondering that when Hyunmook suddenly let out a loud laugh, as if he’d just heard something hilarious. Seeing someone usually so stoic actually laugh made Yohan feel oddly happy too. He giggled along and asked in a slightly cheeky tone:

“So… are we dating now?”

But for some reason, Hyunmook looked deeply troubled this time. Yohan immediately looked disappointed, his expression deflating.

“Yohan-ah, don’t misunderstand. It’s just… the last shred of my conscience. What little I have left…”

“Your conscience? Wait, don’t tell me…”

It reminded him of something. The time in the swamp, when he’d kissed the maddened Hyunmook to calm him down. Once Hyunmook had come back to his senses, he’d also gone on about his conscience and how young Yohan was.

“Anyway, I was planning to take my time and wait a bit longer.”

Yohan, trying to be understanding, suddenly snapped a little, something rare for him.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m a minor or anything! It’s just a ten-year age gap! That’s not even a big deal!”

Even as he said it, he couldn’t help thinking Isn’t it a bit of a gap…? Swapping perspectives for a second: he was twenty-three. Ten years younger than that would be thirteen… Ack! That’s elementary school age! No wonder it might feel like a bigger gap to Hyunmook.

No, no! Why am I bringing up elementary school kids? I’m an adult! What’s a ten-year difference in a world where even zodiac-couple age gaps exist? It’s nothing.

Besides, look at Hyunmook. A high-level awakener with incredible abilities, a great body, a gorgeous face, and a solid personality to boot. And he’s out here protecting his teammates in the depths of the Abyss like a noble warrior. Compared to that mountain of strengths, a ten-year age difference is a speck of dust.

“Right? Ten years isn’t that much of a gap…”

“Exactly! It’s not like we’re twelve years apart or anything. And you have such a young-looking face, Hyunmook-hyung. From the outside, we don’t even look that far apart.”

“…”

But for some reason, the more Yohan spoke, the more Hyunmook’s expression dimmed. Worried, Yohan pouted and asked,

“Okay, so… how long were you planning to wait anyway? Isn’t it kind of pointless now? I mean, we’ve already, y-you know, kissed a bunch of times and, uh, done other things… whatever.”

They hadn’t gone all the way, but what they had done was definitely not something you could just say out loud. Sure, Hyunmook had been the only one doing anything, but in Yohan’s mind, it was as good as having spent the night together. Hyunmook muttered distantly, his eyes going a bit unfocused.

“Maybe when you’re fifty or so…?”

“Fifty?! I’ll be a hunched-up grandpa by then!”

Yohan burst out laughing in disbelief. Fifty? That meant waiting twenty-seven more years! Whether it was because the joke fell flat or not, Hyunmook gave a weak chuckle in return. But the laughter didn’t last. Yohan’s smile faded, and a creeping worry took its place. Was Hyunmook using the age difference as an excuse to gently turn him down?

He spoke again, this time seriously, voice carrying a sense of anxiety.

“Look… no matter what you say, I’ll still do my best to purify you…”

He tried to sound composed, but his voice naturally drooped near the end. Hyunmook tilted his head back and stared up at the dizzyingly high ceiling of the queen termite’s chamber, then said,

“Alright, let’s just throw out things like conscience… Not like I’ve ever been much of a human anyway.”

That made Yohan flare up again.

“What are you talking about? You’re the most human person I’ve ever met, so don’t say stuff like that. I might not have said it before, but I’ve been a fan for a long time. You were my… hero.”

Before falling into the Abyss, Yohan had watched Hyunmook fight against rifts more than once. And it wasn’t just by chance, there were countless citizens like Yohan who had seen Hyunmook in action. Which only meant one thing: he’d saved that many lives. Hyunmook blinked rapidly and gave a bitter smile.

“Then listen carefully. Just like before, and from now on too, no matter what happens, I’ll never give up on you. Even if you resent me or hate me… never.”

His voice was low, murmuring with his head bowed. There was something grim and desperate about it that tugged at Yohan’s heart. Not wanting to make things heavier, Yohan pretended not to notice and spoke with a bright, cheerful tone, reaching out a hand.

“Of course! We’re never breaking up anyway!”

He gently rubbed Hyunmook’s back. Still kneeling, Hyunmook rested his face on Yohan’s thigh, making Yohan’s heart pound. Hyunmook looked up at him with a faint smile and a strangely gleaming gaze.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I could just keep you all to myself? Hide you somewhere secret and deep, somewhere only I know, where you’d be safe…”

Yohan, who had already been feeling slightly uneasy for a while now, quickly infused his hand with light as he continued patting his back.

“You’re not actually going to do that, right?”

“…No, of course I’m not.”

Hyunmook answered in a completely calm and gentle voice, but even so, Yohan kept channeling light into him for quite a while.