FMT 23

Chapter 23 Fifteenth of the Ninth Month

The next day, since the coal seller the village chief had called was coming to the village, Chen Shuangning did not go out.

Winter was coming. Burning only firewood was not enough, they had to buy some coal.

After eating and tidying up, Xiaodan had also finished drinking his milk. He sat in the wicker chair padded with a cotton mat, holding a cloth doll in his hand and swinging it around.

Chen Shuangning sat nearby watching him, while also looking at the book in his hands.

Liandan dried his hands, took out the sewing basket, and had just set it on the table when he heard movement outside the gate.

From the yard came the voice of Sister Tingzi from Aunt Wu’s house next door, calling, “Liandan, are you home?”

Liandan came out from the inner room, answered, opened the door, and let her into the outer room.

Tingzi brushed off the cotton fluff on her clothes and said with some embarrassment, “I was fluffing a quilt at home, got covered in cotton.”

Liandan smiled. “It’s the same for everyone. These past days I’ve also been making cotton trousers at home.” As he spoke, he moved a stool over for her to sit.

Tingzi waved her hand. “No need, I won’t sit, just say something and go. Today I’m going to the village chief’s house to haul coal. My mother said she already borrowed a cart. Our two families can fill one cart together and bring it back.”

Liandan said happily, “That works. Call me when you leave. When we return the cart, I’ll cover half of what we give the owner.”

Tingzi said readily, “No need. My mother said the cart would be borrowed anyway, not filling it would be wasteful. Just have your man help push the cart.”

As she said this, she instinctively leaned her head to look into the room and asked, “Your master of the house… is he home?”

At the start her voice was loud, but in the latter half it suddenly dropped, it seemed like she didn’t want to disturb.

Following her gaze, Liandan turned and saw Chen Shuangning in a greenish-blue robe sitting by the window. The warm morning sunlight slanted through the paper window onto his face and body. His long fingers lightly held the spine of the book, his eyes lowered as he read. That appearance carried an indescribable peace.

After watching for a while, Sister Tingzi came back to her senses, scratched the back of her neck, smiled at Liandan, and lowered her voice. “Then you carry on. When the village head has news, I’ll come call you.”

Liandan said, “All right, I’ll wait at home.” He walked her out.

In the yard, Tingzi glanced back once more toward the house, then lowered her voice to tell Liandan, “Your man draws a lot of attention when he goes out. You must keep an eye on him.”

Sister Tingzi had married within the same village, so she often stayed at her mother’s home. She was straightforward and easy to get along with.

Liandan knew she meant well, so he nodded and said, “Mm. I know.”

Seeing he understood, Tingzi smiled, reassured, and left.

Inside, the man reading by the window frowned slightly and looked outside.

Beside him, Xiaodan cried out “ah ah,” wanting to be held. Only then did he draw his gaze back, put down the book, bend over and pick Xiaodan up, and walk slowly around the room.

The door creaked. It was Liandan returning.

He pushed the door open and saw Chen Shuangning walking with Xiaodan in his arms. He rubbed his hands warm and said, “Come, let me hold him. I’ll coax him to sleep. He went to bed later than usual last night. He must be sleepy.”

Chen Shuangning handed Xiaodan to him. After a while, Xiaodan really did fall asleep. Liandan carefully laid the plump baby on the bed and covered him with a small quilt.

Turning toward the window, he saw the young man had already picked up the book again, focused on reading.

Liandan had learned some characters recently, but he still could not read the book’s title fully. He could only roughly see it was a medical text.

He sat on the edge of the bed, head lowered. Thinking of what he had to do, his heartbeat quickened.

Tang Hua’s words from the day before yesterday, and Sister Tingzi’s reminder just now, made him not want to avoid or delay any longer.

Liandan took the item from the quilt pile, gathered his courage, stood up, and walked over to the window, standing before the young man.

Chen Shuangning’s brow moved slightly. He lifted his eyes to look at him.

Liandan lowered his head, bit his lip, brought his hands out from behind his back, and held out a purse with a blue base embroidered with pink and green flowers.

“For… for you.” He stammered nervously.

The book was set on the table. The young man rose from his chair and stepped over.

His voice, hoarse and strange, asked slowly, “For me?”

Liandan gave a quick nod. “Mm.”

His hands felt light as cool fingertips brushed his palm. Looking up, he saw Chen Shuangning holding the purse, examining it in front of him.

The small purse, grasped in those pale slender hands, its bright colors made his skin look even whiter and more beautiful. Just one glance made Liandan’s face flush.

When Chen Shuangning drew his eyes from the purse and lifted them toward him, Liandan, afraid he would see his burning red face, suddenly ran straight out of the inner room’s door.

As for what Tang Hua had said, that after giving the gift he should also speak some affectionate words, it was not that Liandan forgot. He had thought all night but could not think of any.

At home, he had hardly interacted with outsiders. As long as his father did not beat and curse his mother, it was already good. He had never spoken any affectionate words. Liandan simply did not understand these things. However much he racked his brain, nothing came. So he only gave the purse.

Once outside, he regretted it again, wanting to make up a few words. But he could not think of what to say. He hesitated, unsure.

Chen Shuangning was holding the purse. Before he could speak, he saw Liandan ran out of the room like a rabbit. He had already gone outside, but then turned back, secretly peeking inside from the doorway.

Chen Shuangning lowered his head to look again at the purse in his hand. When he lifted his eyes toward the door, he happened to meet Liandan’s gaze. As soon as the other realized he was looking, he quickly lowered his head, his cheeks and the tips of his ears red, then ran even farther away.

Chen Shuangning stood there for a long while, looking at the purse. His brows gradually furrowed, the doubt in his eyes growing deeper.

….

That day, it was only after lunch that the coal seller arrived. Every household that needed coal went to the village head’s yard to fetch it.

Coal was not cheap. Liandan calculated and bought only half a cartload. They could not rely only on coal through winter. During the day, they would still mainly burn firewood. Only at night would they use coal to keep the stove pressed, otherwise the firewood would burn out quickly, and by the second half of the night, people would wake up from the cold.

On the way back, Chen Shuangning and Wu Denggao took turns pushing the cart. The road was not far, and they arrived soon enough.

Wu Denggao was not tall, but solidly built. Even so, pushing a cart full of coal was tough for him. On the other hand, Chen Shuangning, thinner than him, pushed it more steadily.

After unloading and putting away the coal, Liandan still carried over a big bowl of home-pressed soybean oil to Aunt Wu’s house next door. Taking advantage of others made him uneasy.

Handling coal left a lot of dust. Using the new coal, they boiled a large pot of water. Liandan first gave Xiaodan a hot bath.

Once done, he coaxed Xiaodan to sleep, then added more water to the pot, cleaned the large wooden basin, waited for the water to boil, mixed it to the right temperature, and carried it into the room.

Seeing this, Chen Shuangning got up and took the basin from him.

Liandan told him to put the basin on the chair, then found a clean large cloth towel and handed it over, lowering his head as he said, “The water is just right. Wipe yourself off. Give me your clothes later, I’ll wash them.”

He did not raise his head, so he did not see that Chen Shuangning had been watching him the whole time.

“Mm.” The hoarse voice replied.

Liandan quickly lifted his head for a glance, then turned and hurried out, not forgetting to close the inner door.

He waited with his back to the door. After a while, the door opened a crack, and the folded robe was passed out. Liandan quickly turned, received it, and did not dare raise his head. Nearly stumbling, he carried a basin off to the stove to fetch water.

After Chen Shuangning finished washing, Liandan also changed the water and wiped himself down.

When their hair was dried by the heat in the room, they went to bed.

That night, Liandan could not sleep even more than usual.

After changing clothes, Chen Shuangning wore a thin coarse-cloth jacket that Liandan had someone buy from town. The fabric was not as fine as what he used to wear, but it was warm enough.

The young man’s figure was long and slender. Even dressed like other villagers in coarse cloth, he still looked different, refined.

Lying on the bed, Liandan kept glancing toward the window. He wanted to say something, but could not bring himself to, until he finally drifted into restless sleep.

After he fell asleep, the man meditating by the window moved, opened his eyes, and looked up.

Suddenly, the window clicked, and his figure vanished from where he had been.

On the roof, a young woman bowed deeply. Her pretty eyes could not help but linger on the clothes the young man was wearing.

Chen Shuangning turned his head slightly, glanced at her, and then she quickly drew back her gaze.

“Sect Leader, you called me over. Do you have instructions for me?” Xueming asked respectfully.

She waited a while, but he gave no answer.

Gathering her courage, Xueming looked up. At some point, the Sect Leader had taken out a small blue satin purse embroidered with lotuses. Standing in the moonlight, he held it in his hand, staring at it intently.

Her lips moved as if to ask, but she hesitated, then lowered her head again.

After a while, she finally heard that strange hoarse voice say slowly, “He’s been acting a little strange lately.”

Xueming raised her head in puzzlement and looked at him.

Chen Shuangning looked at the purse and said, “He gave this to me.”

Xueming lifted her brows. “He made it himself?”

Chen Shuangning nodded. “Yes. I saw this piece of fabric in his sewing basket.”

Xueming blinked and asked, “Is there anything else you find strange?”

Chen Shuangning lowered the purse, tilted his head to the sky, and said slowly, “He is very timid, yet he tried to protect me with his life.”

Xueming’s gaze softened. She said, “Anything else?”

Chen Shuangning thought for a while, then replied, “I think he must have something he wants to say to me.”

Xueming asked, “But he hasn’t spoken yet, has he?”

Chen Shuangning made a sound of agreement.

Xueming lowered her head, covering her mouth as she laughed. Chen Shuangning turned and looked at her with displeasure.

Xueming quickly cupped her hands and bowed deeply. Before he could lose his temper, her gaze grew gentle, the corners of her lips held a smile, and under the moonlight she sighed slowly. “Sect Leader, he is in love with you.”

Chen Shuangning’s eyes froze. He suddenly clenched the purse in his hand tightly.

….

The next day was the fifteenth of the ninth month.

The weather suddenly turned cold. When going out in the morning, even speaking left white mist in the air.

For two or three days, Liandan had tried to come up with affectionate words, but he still could not say them. He encouraged himself again and again, only to lose his nerve at the crucial moment each time. By now, he had nearly given up on himself.

Until that evening. After supper, the two of them sat together, reading and practicing characters.

That day, Liandan learned to write his own name. He had never known what it looked like before, and he happily wrote it several times in a row on the paper.

He even tried writing Xiaodan’s name. He already knew the character “Xiao,” and it was much easier to write than “Lian.”

When he finished and lifted his head, he nearly bumped into the young man.

Chen Shuangning drew back just in time to stop Liandan’s face from hitting his. Even so, the two of them were very close. Liandan blushed at first, but looking at the man so near, he gradually froze.

It seemed he had never looked at those eyes so closely. Or rather, he had always avoided looking directly into them.

In Chen Shuangning’s eyes, there always seemed to be something terrifying, like seas of blood and hell, like a bottomless dark pool. People did not dare to look straight, did not dare to look deeply.

But at that moment, by accident, Liandan finally saw them clearly.

Beneath the seas of blood seemed to be pure, clean snowfields. In the depths of the bottomless pool, it was as if fish were swimming playfully.

Liandan stared blankly at the eyes he had never studied before. The words he could never think of, suddenly came to him in that moment, and slipped out unconsciously.

His eyelashes trembled. His gaze was lost, and he said softly, “You… you look really good.”

As soon as the words fell, Chen Shuangning’s hand on the table jerked. His eyelids lowered, hiding the expression in his eyes.

….

That night, the full moon rose into the sky, then was covered by a thin mist, the moonlight hazy.

On the bed, the man pulled open his collar. Pain and heat surged again, and he rolled restlessly.

A cool hand reached over and touched his forehead lightly.

The frail husband exhaled, and his body relaxed at once, even his breathing grew longer and steadier. But soon, the pain in his body eased, and the heat came back even fiercer.

Liandan stretched out his thin arms, wanting to hold the young man before him.

Chen Shuangning’s body stiffened for a moment, but he did not refuse this husband who longed for him. He slowly bent down, letting him wrap his arms around his neck. At the same time, he placed his hands on either side of Liandan’s head, lowering his gaze on him.

The two of them were very close. The darkness did not block Chen Shuangning’s sight. He could see everything clearly.

The husband lying on his back, his eyes moist, looked at him in a haze. His lips were small and plump, a small patch of crimson.

In his sight, those lips drew nearer. The dazed husband was trying to raise his head to kiss him.

Chen Shuangning’s throat moved. At the instant before the lips touched his, veins bulged on his forehead, and he suddenly tilted his head back, avoiding the kiss.

Then he roughly tore away the arms holding his neck.

Liandan opened his eyes, letting out needy whimpers, trying again to embrace him. But Chen Shuangning remained unmoved. Kneeling with his legs on either side of the husband’s body, he only looked down at him with eyes like bloody light flowing in the dark.

Liandan was pushed away again. His thin body leaned softly against the bedhead, sobbing pitifully.

He did not notice the man’s eyes changing expression again and again, finally settling into something cruel and indescribable.

“You… you look really good.” Liandan’s shy words echoed in his ears.

Chen Shuangning almost glared viciously at the husband leaning against the bedhead. He raised his hand to his chin, traced upward to his cheek, then roughly tore off the thin mask, throwing it aside on the floor in disgust.

He lifted his face, long deprived of air, took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.

Then Chen Shuangning suddenly jumped forward, seizing the fragile back of the husband’s neck. His gaze lingered for a moment on that patch of crimson, then he abruptly lowered his head.

But as he drew close, his lips did not fall on those soft lips. Instead, his other hand pinched the man’s chin, exposing his slender neck, and one hot kiss after another landed there.

Liandan’s body went completely limp, sliding down onto the bed.

Chen Shuangning followed. His hand on the chin slid downward, lifted the hem of the robe. With one forceful push, he entered.

Liandan tilted his head back with a cry, which quickly turned into muffled murmurs.

His lapels were pulled open, his chest chilled yet burning.

Liandan clung tightly to the young man above him, rejoicing, sobbing, trembling…