FMT 25

Chapter 25 Kiss

That night in Lingyun Temple, Liandan, in order to please the ghostly figure, had once taken the initiative to ask for a kiss.

But at that time he had been both startled and afraid, and the other had not responded, so it could not be counted as a real kiss.

Only now did Liandan know for the first time what it felt like to kiss someone.

His body was restrained by the young man. Though the other was not especially burly, his strength was so great that Liandan could not move at all. His nape was held, his face forced to tilt up.

His lips were kissed until they hurt, even the tip of his tongue tingled with a painful numbness.

Yet… Liandan’s eyes were still wet, no longer with tears, but with an uncontrollable mist of emotion.

Chen Shuangning always gave people a feeling of cold indifference, even fear. When touched by accident, his skin was cool.

Only at this moment did Liandan realize that this man’s breath was warm, and his kiss… was burning hot, as if it could melt him.

Liandan closed his eyes, obediently raised his arms to embrace the young man’s neck, and could not hold back kitten-like sounds from his throat.

After that, the man kissing him held him tighter, and the kiss grew deeper.

Just then, a small hand smacked against Liandan’s neck, and a child’s “ah ah” sounded beside them.

Liandan was startled. The man holding him froze, then suddenly withdrew his lips.

Xiaodan was unhappy no one was playing with him, and crawled over wanting his dad to hold him.

Liandan hurriedly wiped his lips with his sleeve, then lifted Xiaodan, who had crawled onto his legs, into his arms.

Xiaodan babbled in protest, pressing his little face against his dad’s neck. Liandan soothed him with soft “oh oh” sounds, while his eyes instinctively searched for the man who had just been so intimate with him. His gaze met Chen Shuangning’s.

Chen Shuangning sat on the bedside, calmly straightening the collar that had just been disheveled. His eyes were fixed openly on the frail husband, more precisely, on his lips.

That small patch of red had been kissed until it was wet, abnormally crimson, slightly swollen.

Liandan blushed so deeply it seemed blood would drip from his face, yet still, under that predatory gaze, his lips curved into a timid, shy smile.

The young man narrowed his eyes slightly.

Xiaodan, nestled in Liandan’s neck, gave a little yawn, then another.

Liandan reluctantly pulled his gaze back, set Xiaodan on his legs. The man at the bedside stood, went to the table, poured half a bowl of warm water. Liandan fed Xiaodan a little, patted his back, then laid the plump baby on the bed, coaxing him to sleep.

Behind him, the oil lamp in the room went out. Footsteps slowly moved away from the bed.

Liandan patted Xiaodan’s back lightly, looked back, and whispered, “Shuangning…”

Chen Shuangning’s steps stopped. He turned.

Liandan bit his lip and asked, “Where are you going?”

Chen Shuangning walked slowly to the bed, looked down at him, and said, “I’m going to press the stove with coal.”

Liandan then remembered the fire in the outer room. Left alone, it would soon go out.

He nodded. “Oh.”

As Chen Shuangning turned to leave, Liandan, still anxious, lifted his head. “I… I’ll wait for you.”

In the darkness, Liandan could not see Chen Shuangning’s face. He only saw the man pause for a long while, then slowly say, “All right.”

After Xiaodan was sound asleep, Liandan pulled a quilt over him.

When he lay down, hearing sounds outside, he suddenly remembered something, quickly got up, took a pillow from the bedding stack, and placed it beside his own.

The bed was large enough, but since Xiaodan slept restlessly, he needed plenty of space. What was left was still enough for two people, but the pillows had to touch, leaving no gap.

Liandan placed the pillow, his face red, lay down in his place, pulled half the quilt toward the other side. Only then was it settled.

Just as he finished, the noises outside stopped, and he heard water used for washing hands.

Soon, the door opened. A tall, slender figure entered, wiping his hands as he walked in. He draped the towel on the chair back, and his footsteps came to the bed.

In the darkness, Liandan saw Chen Shuangning remove his outer jacket and climb onto the bed.

The boards trembled faintly. Liandan shifted slightly inward. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other lift the quilt and lie flat beside him, head on the pillow.

Liandan grew slightly nervous. He felt sure the man beside him could hear his uneven breathing, and almost held his breath.

Chen Shuangning pulled the quilt over, crossed his hands on his stomach, seeming ready to sleep.

Liandan turned to face inward, trying to hide his breathing.

But it felt like avoiding the man beside him. Afraid of being misunderstood, he feigned discomfort and turned again, this time toward him.

Just as he turned, the figure pressed down over him.

A shout of surprise caught in his throat, for his lips were sealed once more. He let out a faint hum, and his body softened.

This kiss was hotter than the one before the lamp had been blown out. Liandan nearly could not breathe. He parted his lips to draw air, but was invaded even deeper.

A cool hand slipped into his loose collar. Liandan, dazed, caught that hand and whispered hoarsely, “Xiao… Xiaodan is still here…”

“I know.” Chen Shuangning said it, yet his hand did not withdraw. He did not go further either, only rubbed in that one small place.

Not until Liandan’s body went limp like water, his breathing utterly disordered, did he pull his hand back.

In the dark, Chen Shuangning propped himself up on his arm, staring closely at the husband lying beneath him.

Perhaps afraid the other would be unhappy over his earlier rejection, Liandan raised his head and, to please him, gave a small kiss on the young man’s lips.

Chen Shuangning lifted a hand to his cheek, caressing the soft face.

As their breaths mingled, Chen Shuangning’s Adam’s apple moved. In his hoarse voice, he asked, “Do you… do you want to…?”

His words broke off abruptly. He slowly turned his head toward the door.

Liandan was still waiting for him to finish. Seeing him stop suddenly, he followed his gaze in confusion and looked toward the door as well.

A moment later, just as Liandan was about to ask, a heavy pounding rattled the door.

At the same time, Xiaodan, asleep by the wall, was startled awake, and wailed in fright.

Liandan turned to the child, while Chen Shuangning had already risen from him, quickly put on his jacket.

In that moment, Liandan only felt his body suddenly empty, his heart hollow as well. But there was no time to think. He rushed to pick up Xiaodan and soothe him.

The pounding outside continued. Chen Shuangning did not rush. He first lit the oil lamp, then in a few strides pulled the door open.

The emaciated Old Madam Chen, thin as a corpse, fell straight into the room.

She collapsed on the floor, breathing like a bellows. But she struggled up, raised one hand high, finger pointing at Chen Shuangning, rasping out, “You… you… you do not…!”

Before the words were finished, her throat caught. She gasped harshly, her throat making a grating sound that raised one’s hair, then her whole body slackened, and she collapsed.

Liandan quickly turned Xiaodan’s face away, not letting him see.

But his own face had gone pale with fear. He watched as Chen Shuangning squatted, checked her nose with his hand, lifted her eyelids.

Then he said, “She only fainted.”

Liandan exhaled in relief. He was about to ask what was wrong with her, why this was happening, when Chen Shuangning spoke again. “She should not last more than a few days.”

Liandan’s eyes widened in fright.

But Chen Shuangning said no more. He seemed far too calm, as he hooked his arms beneath the old lady and dragged her back to her room.

Liandan felt something indescribable stir in his chest as he watched, but quickly forced it down. He shook his head, refusing to think nonsense.

Soon Xiaodan quieted and fell asleep again. Liandan laid him gently down, put on his coat and shoes, and went to the other room.

As he entered, he saw Chen Shuangning sitting by the old lady’s bed, bowl of water in one hand, spoon in the other, feeding her slowly.

The old lady had woken again at some point. She looked much better than before, not so terrifying. She drank a few mouthfuls, then waved her hand, refusing more.

Chen Shuangning set the bowl aside and helped her lie down.

Seeing this, the faint anxiety that had almost risen in Liandan’s heart vanished completely.

He stepped lightly closer. Chen Shuangning, hearing him, looked back and shook his head.

When the old lady was asleep again, the two of them went to the outer room.

There, Liandan stood beside him, arms hugged tight, gaze unsteady, looking at him for reassurance.

Chen Shuangning gently gripped his wrist. “Tomorrow I’ll go to town, buy what needs buying, notify the Zhang family. Everything must be prepared.”

Liandan nodded, his heart sour and heavy with feelings he could not name.

The old lady’s temper had always been violent, her hand quick to strike, but Liandan did not hate her. He believed in fate, that this had been destined long ago.

He had grown up used to being beaten and scolded at the smallest thing, never knowing he could resist. Years of endurance taught him only to find fault in himself, he must have done wrong to anger his father, to displease his mother-in-law.

It had been his mother-in-law who paid five taels of silver to his father, letting him marry into the Chen family. But he was not good with sweet words, nor as capable as other wives at housework and dealing with people.

To him, the old lady was no kindly elder. Yet without her, he could not have survived. And she was his husband’s mother, Xiaodan’s grandmother. However excessive, he could not truly resent her.

After settling the old lady, they returned to their own room. The night’s tide of intimacy had been broken by the interruption.

Liandan lay down. Chen Shuangning stood by the bed, pulling the quilt over him.

“Rest well,” Chen Shuangning said softly.

Liandan asked, “You won’t sleep?”

Chen Shuangning shook his head. “It’s almost dawn. I’ll be leaving soon. You should sleep. We’ll talk when I return.”

Liandan said, “Be careful on the road.”

Chen Shuangning gave a quiet “Mm.” “Sleep.”

Liandan obediently closed his eyes.

Chen Shuangning blew out the lamp, returned to sit by the window in meditation.

Liandan lay there unable to calm himself. He wished his mother-in-law could live a little longer, yet feared she would suffer more.

He thought of preparing her funeral, counted the household’s remaining coins. Turning and tossing for a long time, at last he fell asleep.