FMT 30

Chapter 30 Let Him Go

Liandan cried, tears running all over his face.

He grabbed the quilt to cover himself, but one corner was pressed under the man’s thigh. Only when the man cooperated by lifting his leg could he finish the motion, and that made him feel even more humiliated.

Chen Shuangning knelt on the bed, reaching out to touch his forehead to calm him, but Liandan only glanced at him once before showing a frightened look. His tears fell even harder as he shrank toward the corner of the bed.

Chen Shuangning’s hand stopped between them. He lowered his head, looked at himself, and his expression tightened.

He pulled up the clothes that had slipped down his arm, gathered his collar, tied his belt, and said slowly in his hoarse voice, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you. I had no choice.”

Under the quilt, Liandan moved. His tear-filled eyes lifted toward him for a moment, then he buried his face back under the quilt, refusing to come out.

Chen Shuangning rarely showed helplessness on his face. He said, “This is a normal reaction for a man. It doesn’t mean I have feelings for you. Just ignore it.”

The cries muffled under the quilt. Chen Shuangning did not know if the person inside heard his explanation.

He turned his head to glance at the night outside the window, gauging the time.

Then, he reached out and touched the quilt. The person under it instantly shrank back again.

Chen Shuangning leaned closer, his tone serious. “Liandan, there is something I must tell you now.”

The quilt shifted. Chen Shuangning patiently waited. Before he could even count to two in his head, a pair of red, swollen eyes hesitantly peeked out.

Looking at him, Chen Shuangning said, “What just happened, we have to finish it.”

At those words, Liandan’s face changed. His expression clearly said, “So it really is like this.”

Chen Shuangning caught the quilt he tried to pull back over his face. Looking into his eyes, he said, “If we don’t finish, tonight you’ll suffer unbearable pain. Your body won’t be able to endure it.”

Saying that, his expression tightened. He forcefully pulled away Liandan’s quilt. Liandan had no strength to resist. Within moments, the quilt he used as a shield was taken.

Liandan grabbed whatever was behind him and threw it at the young man.

Chen Shuangning easily caught the pillow in his hand and placed it at the foot of the bed. The next object came flying, and he caught that too, setting it aside.

Liandan broke down, curling up and crying.

But then, his cries gradually changed. The painful groans at first stayed caught in his throat, but soon he was screaming loudly, rolling all over the bed.

This pain was worse than any he had experienced before.

The sharp pain in his abdomen spread quickly through his whole body. Liandan’s vision went white, nearly losing the ability to think.

At the same time, the heat rising from his lower abdomen spread like a fire meeting the wind, burning fiercely, making his body tremble and every sense hypersensitive.

The unbearable pain only worsened, and even with his eyes closed, his nose caught what he had ignored before: the young man’s unique scent, and the intimate smell lingering on the bedding.

It made him, at the brink of fainting from pain, crave desperately for something.

He slowly slid down flat onto the bed, covering his face with both hands, sobbing and muttering, “Please… please…”

The young man’s eyes never left him. He leaned down, removed the hands covering his face, and guided them to his own nape.

Following the motion, Liandan wrapped his arms around Chen Shuangning’s neck.

Their faces were close. That hoarse, strange voice said heavily, “Close your eyes. Leave it to me.”

Tears ran from the corners of his eyes into his hair. Liandan slowly closed his eyes.

Chen Shuangning’s lips moved closer.

But Liandan opened his eyes again. Bloodshot, filled with despair and helplessness.

Chen Shuangning froze. He saw Liandan’s dry, cracked lips move, forcing out, “Please…”

Chen Shuangning’s eyes narrowed. Finally, Liandan spoke the words he truly meant: “Please… I don’t want to…”

His hands around the young man’s neck tightened more and more. His body was already at its limit with desire.

Yet he begged the man, saying he did not want it.

Chen Shuangning leaned over him, staring at him for a long while before lowering his eyelids.

The hand braced beside Liandan reached for the back of his neck. A fingertip pressed lightly at a spot there. His body, once burning and entwined, instantly stiffened. Slowly, Liandan closed his eyes and fainted.

….

By midday the next day, Xiaodan sat in the bed playing with a toy, giggling happily.

Liandan leaned weakly against the headboard, looking sickly. Even lifting his hand was difficult. He could only eat when someone fed him bite by bite.

Chen Shuangning sat on the chair at the bedside, holding a bowl of freshly made paste-like noodle mash. He patiently waited for Liandan to finish one bite before scooping another spoonful to feed him.

Liandan lowered his eyelids and refused to look at him.

After finishing, he tried to lie back down. Chen Shuangning put down the bowl and reached out to help, but Liandan turned aside to avoid it, rejecting the hand that came to support him.

His rejection was stiff, his ears slightly red, both angry and embarrassed. Chen Shuangning said nothing. He only put away the bowl and spoon, stood, and carried them out.

Liandan kept his body tense, his back turned outward. Only after the door closed did he relax.

“Ah ah!” Xiandan called twice, holding the toy and climbing onto his dad.

Now more than seven months old, he was fair, chubby, and heavy. Pressing down on Liandan made him grunt.

Soon, the door was pushed open again.

The young man walked in, bent down, and lifted the fat baby off his dad. With his eyes lowered, he looked at the child and said, “Dad isn’t well. Don’t disturb him.”

“Ah ah!” Xiaodan responded eagerly, whether he understood or not.

Liandan still lay on his side, pretending not to see him. Xiaodan had already had milk, and now it was time for his nap.

Chen Shuangning paced on the floor, rocking him to sleep.

Liandan had lain in one position too long. His arm was going numb from the pressure. He turned onto his back weakly.

Chen Shuangning’s attention was not on him, which made him feel at ease. His gaze unconsciously followed the child. When Chen Shuangning spoke, he glanced at the young man.

As he watched, his gaze slowly changed, his body stiffening.

Because only then did Liandan realize that Xiaodan’s eyes were almost identical to Chen Shuangning’s, as if they were carved from the same mold.

Xiaodan was not as easy to put down for naps as at night. He fussed for a while. His little hand habitually grabbed at Liandan’s chin or cheek. Sometimes, when nearly asleep, he pinched hard enough to hurt, but Liandan endured it so as not to wake him.

Children were cute, but only when not fussy or crying. No matter how much one liked children, it was inevitable they get impatient.

At this moment, Xiaodan rested his face on Chen Shuangning’s shoulder. One small hand lay there, the other grabbed the man’s cheek. The grip looked strong, almost distorting his cheek, but the young man did not mind. He only patted the child’s back patiently.

His eyes were lowered, hiding his expression, but from the relaxed corners of his mouth and body posture, it was clear he was far calmer than he was around others.

Xiaodan’s eyelids were about to close when suddenly he wet himself. Startled, he woke and started crying.

Chen Shuangning’s clothes were soaked across a large patch. He was neither hurried nor annoyed. With only a glance, he gently laid Xiaodan on the bed, changed his diaper, then removed his own outer robe. Wearing only his inner clothes, he picked the child up again, gave him a little water, and continued rocking him to sleep.

This time, Xiaodan was truly exhausted. After only a few laps, he fell asleep.

Chen Shuangning bent down, reaching his arm over Liandan, and placed Xiaodan on the inside of the bed.

Just as he was about to straighten up, his arm was grabbed weakly by the sickly young man. Chen Shuangning turned his head toward Liandan.

Liandan’s pale face slowly flushed red, red with anger. His mouth moved several times before he rasped out a hoarse voice.

“Xiaodan is your child. The night at the temple… it was you. You lied to me again!”

Liandan’s other hand reached for Chen Shuangning’s collar. Without his outer robe, the inner garment’s neckline was loose, and with a light tug, it fell open.

Beneath the white collarbone, the conspicuous bite mark was revealed.

“Isn’t it easy to fool me?” Liandan asked with red eyes.

Chen Shuangning’s pupils contracted. Those were the very words he had spoken before when Liandan asked him about that night.

His lips moved to speak, but Liandan had already released him, turned, and lay back under the quilt, his back facing him, refusing to speak further.

The redness at his ears had already faded. His back was held even more rigidly.

Last night’s events had ended with silence when morning came. He had simply ignored the young man bustling around the room, but not with such complete cold rejection as now.

After a while, still facing away, Liandan said, “Leave. I don’t want to see you again.”

Chen Shuangning looked at his trembling shoulders and the hand gripping the quilt tightly. His Adam’s apple moved as he said, “Alright.”