FMT 33

Chapter 33 One Night

Liandan’s fingers clutched helplessly at his collar, wrinkling the fabric. Chen Shuangning stood at the doorway looking at him, as if still waiting for his response. Liandan gave a faint “Mm,” then quickly turned and went back inside.

He heard footsteps following behind, deliberately left for him to hear.

The two entered the room one after the other. Liandan pretended to busy himself with tidying the sewing basket on the table, while out of the corner of his eye he watched the tall young man walk to the bedside and lift the curtain to look inside.

“Xiaodan has grown, and gotten a little chubbier.” The hoarse voice spoke softly.

Liandan turned his head for a glance and gave a light “Mm.”

Chen Shuangning’s gaze lingered on the sleeping child for a moment before lowering the curtain.

His steady, unhurried steps carried him to the table. His pale hand reached out and in a few motions gathered all the scraps of thread and cloth that Liandan had spent so long trying to clean up.

Liandan’s fingers curled slightly against the table. He kept his head down, staring at the surface.

He knew the other man was watching him. He tried hard to think of something to say to ease the heavy air.

“Did… did your business go well?” After much thought, Liandan finally found a topic.

“Not very smoothly,” Chen Shuangning said, “but manageable.”

Liandan nodded. That single topic ended there. The room grew quiet again. Liandan’s lashes trembled constantly. He could barely endure it.

At last, the young man beside him spoke. “Liandan, sit down. Let’s talk.”

Liandan answered “Mm” and stiffly sat at the table.

The young man sat down as well. Chen Shuangning poured a cup of tea from the pot and placed it before Liandan.

Then he looked at the ge’er beside him. “Some things, Xue Ming should have already told you.”

Liandan’s hands twisted together uneasily on the table. He nodded.

Chen Shuangning leaned back against the chair, his eyelids lowered. “That night…”

Liandan’s body tightened instantly.

The hoarse male voice paused, then continued. “It was the only way. I had no choice.”

Liandan lowered his head even more. The tips of his ears were red with embarrassment. He whispered, “I… I understand.”

Chen Shuangning said, “I’m sorry. I deceived you all this time, and hid many things from you.”

Liandan bit his lip and stayed silent.

“I had people investigate the Chen family, and I also learned in detail about your time in the Bai family.”

Liandan suddenly lifted his head to look at him. Chen Shuangning turned his gaze toward him, calm. “I meant no harm. I only wanted to resolve the Blue Flower poison in you without disturbing your life too much.”

He looked back down at the table. “According to the original plan, I would impersonate the Chen family’s son and enter the household. You would never know anything, until the Blue Flower poison was completely removed…”

Liandan’s lips moved. “And after that?”

Chen Shuangning answered, “I would fake my death and leave. You would never know that a stranger once lived here with you.”

Liandan’s eyes widened. If not for the problem with the gu inside Madam Chen, he might really have never known in his life.

Chen Shuangning continued slowly. “I did not intend to deceive you. You were dragged into something that had nothing to do with you. I don’t want you pulled any deeper.”

“Liandan,” Chen Shuangning looked at him and called his name, “I can promise you this. If you have questions, you can ask me. Whatever I can tell you, I will. What I cannot tell you, I will not answer with lies.”

Liandan blinked and looked at the young man.

In Chen Shuangning’s eyes was a serious, solemn look. “For the antidote to succeed, we should continue living like this for now. When the second antidote is made, I will arrange everything for you and Xiaodan, then I will leave completely.” He paused. “Do you agree?”

In Liandan’s mind, the words “you would never know” repeated again and again. Each time they echoed, a strange feeling rose in his chest.

“Don’t worry. Unless necessary, I won’t touch you.” Chen Shuangning thought Liandan hesitated for that reason and gave his assurance.

Liandan let out a small sound. “Ah… I’m not…” He could not explain what he meant. In the end, he only lowered his head and said softly, “Alright.”

Chen Shuangning looked out the window at the night. “It’s about time. I’ll take Xiaodan to the next room.”

As he spoke, he went to the bed. Liandan suddenly understood what “about time” meant. Flustered, he stood up too, at a loss, watching the young man lift the bed curtain, gather the plump sleeping child together with the small blanket and pillow, and carry him out of the room.

Liandan stood at the bedside, his hands clasped together so tightly that his fingers had turned pale.

Soon, the door opened. The man who had just taken the child out came back in.

Liandan was nervous to the extreme. The young man walked slowly to him and looked at him. After a moment, Chen Shuangning turned and blew out the oil lamp. The room went dark at once.

Then his long, strong hand took hold of Liandan’s clasped hands and pulled him toward the bed.

Liandan struggled, his voice muffled in his throat. “I don’t…”

But he could not shake the will of the determined young man. Chen Shuangning sighed. “Liandan, we must…”

Liandan stopped resisting and was led to the bed. But when the young man’s body pressed over him, he still lifted his hands to push him.

His hands were quickly caught.

In the darkness, he heard Chen Shuangning’s hoarse voice. “Even if I force you, it is not your fault.”

Bright moonlight shone through the window paper into the room. Liandan’s eyes gradually adjusted, and he could just make out the face close to his.

His eyes were blank and frightened.

Chen Shuangning must have noticed his stare. He lifted himself slightly, tore a strip from his inner clothing, and tied it gently over Liandan’s eyes.

When his collar was lifted open, Liandan felt cold and curled in on himself.

Chen Shuangning brushed his lips against his forehead. His throat moved, his eyes dimmed with shadow, and sinking low, he said, “Just think of me as Chen Hanwen.”

Liandan’s body went rigid. He wanted to say something but only let out a sound. The Blue Flower poison inside him had begun to act.

The process was not smooth. When the young man lowered his head to kiss him, Liandan choked and turned away.

Light kisses fell on his forehead and cheek. The hoarse voice whispered, “Like this, you will feel a little better soon.”

But Liandan shook his head. The man did not force him. He got up and left for a short while, then returned. Liandan heard rustling, then felt the warmth of a body again.

The hoarse voice spoke close to his ear. “Before I came, I washed.”

Liandan turned his head away and gave no reply. Not being able to see lessened his shame, but his body still stayed taut. His thin body trembled uncontrollably.

“Does it hurt?” the man stopped and asked.

The cloth over his eyes grew wet. Liandan bit his lip and shook his head lightly.

And so…

….

The room was too warm from the fire. Even the blanket could not stay on. The young man got up, took the outer robe draped on the chair, and covered the frail ge’er with it.

Liandan faced the inside of the bed, clutching the robe and wrapping himself tightly.

The flush on his face and neck had not faded. Sweat clung to the hair on his forehead.

The strip of cloth had been taken off, soaked through with tears, and was now left hanging on the chair back.

Chen Shuangning put on his inner clothing, left the room once, and returned carrying a basin of water.

He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped Liandan’s face with a warm cloth. Then he asked softly, “Shall I help you wipe your body?”

Liandan dared not look at him. He kept his head turned toward the inside of the bed. His voice was hoarse, so low it was almost inaudible. “I… I’ll do it myself.”

Chen Shuangning did not force him. He only said, “Alright,” set the cloth on the basin’s edge, and went out.

Lying in bed, Liandan heard the sounds of cooking in the outer room. Weary, he propped himself up on his elbow.

When he moved, his legs were so sore he could hardly lift them. When he accidentally touched a damp patch on the bedding, he froze, then his face and ears flushed red.

He bit his lip, forced himself to climb out of bed, and quickly washed himself with the warm water.

Just after he put on dry clothing, a soft knock came at the door. Liandan hurried to answer. The young man entered carrying a tray.

He gave Liandan a glance, set the tray on the table, and said, “I’ll change the bedding first. You should eat something before lying down to rest.”

Liandan lowered his head with a quiet “Mm.” When he sat down, Chen Shuangning had already placed the bowl and spoon before him.

It was that same gruel that was not quite noodles or dough pieces. Perhaps he was used to it now, for it did not taste as unpleasant as before. And he was hungry, so he finished a whole bowl quickly.

After eating, Chen Shuangning helped him back to the bed and propped him against the headboard.

Liandan watched the young man on the floor gathering the basin and bowls. Thinking of the child next door, he asked, embarrassed, “How is Xiaodan?”

Chen Shuangning looked back at him. Liandan quickly lowered his eyes.

The hoarse voice said, “I just checked. He is sleeping soundly.”

Chen Shuangning went out again. When he opened the door, Liandan smelled the faint scent of medicine.

Sure enough, when he returned, he carried a bowl of herbal decoction.

Liandan drank it all in one go. After hesitating, he lowered his head and asked, “You gave me this before too. What exactly is it?”

Chen Shuangning looked down at him. His throat moved as he said, “Contraceptive soup.”

Liandan lowered his head further. The red on his ears lingered for a long time without fading.