FMT 4

Chapter 04  Pregnancy

That noon, without even eating, Old Madam Chen secretly went to her brother’s house. No one knew what she told them, but her brother and his two sons went up the mountain together to Lingyun Temple.

Liandan curled up in his blanket in his own room, trembling as he stared at the memorial tablet on the table not far away.

By late afternoon, when the sky was about to darken, he heard the sound of the gate opening and footsteps in the courtyard.

His door was kicked open with a bang. Old Madam Chen’s stout body entered. She strode to the bed and slapped Liandan across the face. His vision went black, his head dizzy and spinning.

Her shrill voice cursed, “You slut, made us take a trip for nothing!”

She was about to hit him again when her half-gray-haired elder brother stopped her.

He grabbed his sister’s arm and said, “Enough. Isn’t it better that nothing happened? Don’t blame him. Hanwen came back last night, it must have scared him, that’s why he said those crazy things.”

Old Madam Chen glared, still unwilling to let it go. Her brother sighed and said, “He may already be pregnant. If you beat him into trouble, Hanwen won’t even leave an heir!”

Only then did Old Madam Chen ease up. She dropped heavily to the floor and wailed, “My poor son, he came back just once and this slut claimed him. His own mother didn’t even see him once!”

So that was where her resentment lay.

Her brother watched her cry and shout, rubbed his temples with a headache, forced himself to comfort her with a few words, and quickly left with his two sons.

Almost as soon as the family left, Old Madam Chen climbed up from the floor. She wiped away her tears in a few strokes.

She leaned at the window lattice, peering outside. When she saw they were gone, she patted her clothes and laughed. “It was almost noon. If they didn’t leave, I’d have to feed them lunch!”

Now that the outsiders were gone, Old Madam Chen came again to the bed. Her attitude was much better than before.

She looked at her daughter-in-law with satisfaction and even reached out to tidy Liandan’s hair, which only made him tremble harder.

Old Madam Chen spoke in what could almost be called a kind voice: “Don’t worry. I hit you earlier just for show. Otherwise, if I had believed your nonsense, dragging people all the way up the mountain, I’d have had to give them an explanation.”

Liandan raised his head with a trembling voice. “Ling… Lingyun Temple, you really went there?”

Old Madam Chen smiled. “We went. You were frightened. When we got to the temple, everything was fine. Master Yuanjing and his disciples were in the hall chanting scriptures.”

Liandan’s eyes widened. “That’s impossible.” He quickly asked, “What about Tang Hua, and Qingyu from the next village?”

“They were there,” Old Madam Chen said. “When Master Yuanjing had us leave the mountain, he told us to bring them both down too. Qingyu went back to her own village. Tang Hua came back to the village with us. He even asked about you at the gate just now. When he heard you were fine, he went home.”

Liandan’s eyes grew wider. For a long time he was stunned.

Old Madam Chen, pleased, said, “From now on, stay home and take care of the pregnancy. Don’t wander around. Once I’m holding a fat grandson, our lives will finally have something to look forward to.”

Liandan stared blankly at her. “What if… I’m not pregnant?”

Old Madam Chen smiled lightly. “If you’re not, then as agreed, I’ll strangle you to be buried with my son.”

Liandan’s heart turned icy. Even his belly seemed to twist in pain, as if a ghost claw gripped his organs.

…

The next morning, after breakfast and cleaning up, Liandan hesitantly asked his mother-in-law to let him go up the mountain.

Old Madam Chen was in a good mood. She sneered. “Fine. Go to Lingyun Temple yourself. You’ll see I wasn’t lying.”

“Be careful on the way. Don’t tire out my precious grandson. Your worthless life can’t pay for it!”

So Liandan left the house and forced himself up the mountain.

When he reached the gate of Lingyun Temple, he remembered the hellish scene in the courtyard that day. He was so afraid his face turned pale.

From inside came the familiar smell of incense, along with the faint sound of chanting and footsteps.

Liandan’s fingertips trembled as he pushed open the gate. In the front courtyard, the young monk who should have been nothing but a head was sweeping the ground. A few pilgrims were burning incense and kneeling. In the hall, Monk Yuanjing, who should have died horribly, was seated on a cushion, leading disciples in chanting.

His half-closed eyes and solemn expression were almost like a different person from before. But his face was clearly the same man.

Liandan’s heart pounded. He stepped into the courtyard, shaking with fear.

Among the pilgrims, a woman rose from her cushion. Hearing his footsteps behind her, she turned her head.

Liandan instinctively looked too. When he saw the mole by her mouth, his heart almost stopped. He whispered a name at his lips: “Qingyu…”

Qingyu walked over, bent, and bowed. “Yesterday I left in a hurry and forgot to offer incense. Today I came to make up for it.”

Liandan stared at her blankly, then slowly nodded.

Qingyu smiled at him, bowed again, and turned to leave.

Liandan looked back at her figure as she left the temple gate. His whole body shuddered with dread.

When no one noticed, he quietly slipped to the back courtyard.

Inside, the two large trees spread thick branches casting shadows. The vegetable plots were lush and neatly kept.

The corpses and pools of blackened blood that had filled the courtyard yesterday were gone. The stench of rot had been replaced by the fresh scent of grass and incense from the front.

Liandan’s ankles shook as he pushed open the row of meditation rooms. He saw the room he had stayed in that night.

When he pushed open the door, the small room came into view at once.

The bed was empty. Even the bedding was gone, leaving only the wooden boards.

The bathing tub that had been there was gone. On the simple table and chairs, the teapot still remained.

The room looked like nothing more than a vacant space, no trace of anyone living there. Nothing seemed unusual.

Liandan also checked the rooms where Tang Hua and Qingyu had stayed. They too had been cleaned until spotless.

Finding nothing, Liandan withdrew, shut each door one by one, and quietly left Lingyun Temple.

After coming down the mountain, Liandan went to the house of a family surnamed Li.

The man there was called Li Fu. His household was simple: only his parents, and a husband who had married in just half a year earlier.

That husband was Tang Hua, the same one who had stayed with Liandan at Lingyun Temple.

When Liandan arrived, Tang Hua was sifting beans with a winnow.

Seeing him, Tang Hua warmly welcomed him inside, had him sit on a small stool, and poured him water.

His parents-in-law were also polite, coming out from the house to greet him.

Liandan rarely interacted with outsiders. He was shy by nature. He stammered awkward replies.

The old couple did not mind. After a few words, they returned indoors.

Once they were gone, Tang Hua sat beside Liandan. Just like last time, he pulled up a stool to sit across from him, and warmly reached to take his hand. Liandan pulled away.

Tang Hua didn’t mind, only looked at him and said, “Why do you look so pale? Are you sick?”

As he spoke, he raised his hand to touch Liandan’s forehead.

Liandan stared at him. When he saw the hand coming, he instinctively dodged.

But Tang Hua had a gentle stubbornness that did not annoy people. He reached with both hands, one grasping Liandan’s wrist, the other pressing to his forehead.

This time Liandan could not avoid it.

Both the hand holding his wrist and the one feeling his forehead were warm.

And the face so close to him was filled with the liveliness of the living, with the vitality of a young ge’er.

Suddenly, Liandan reached up and pinched Tang Hua’s cheek. Tang Hua flinched from the pain but did not get angry. He pressed his forehead lightly to Liandan’s, smiled, then leaned back on his stool. While sifting beans he said, “It’s fine, no fever.”

Tang Hua asked, “You came looking for me, did something happen?”

Liandan carefully asked, “That night before last, at Lingyun Temple, I tried to come to your room.”

Tang Hua blinked. “Did you? I went to sleep early that night. Maybe I didn’t hear you knock.”

Liandan stared at his face without blinking. “I knocked for a long time. There wasn’t a sound from your room.”

Tang Hua scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, stuck out his tongue, and said, “I should’ve told you. Once I fall asleep, I sleep so deeply. My mother always says that if a thief came at night and carried me away, I wouldn’t even notice.”

Liandan sat stiffly on the stool, hands flat on his knees. His small, sharp chin made him look restless, like a pitiful little child.

Tang Hua’s heart softened. He asked gently, “What is it? Did something happen?”

Liandan’s fingers tightened. He asked, “The next morning, before you went down the mountain, did you leave your room?”

Tang Hua thought for a moment. “In the morning, the young monk brought me vegetarian food. After eating, he gave me a scripture. But I can’t read many characters, so I soon got drowsy.

“Later some lay practitioners asked me to help water the vegetable garden in the back. I went out to work. At noon, I ate with the monks in the dining hall. Afterward we recited scriptures. Not long after, your mother-in-law’s group came. They were making a commotion outside, I don’t know what about.

“After that, Master Yuanjing told Qingyu and me to pack up and go down the mountain with them.”

Liandan asked, “When you went out, did you see anything unusual?”

Tang Hua thought again and shook his head. “Nothing unusual. If anything, it was that the courtyard was especially clean. That sweeping monk had cleared it so well there wasn’t even a leaf left. The incense in the front courtyard was also especially heavy.”

Leaving the Li house, Liandan went home with nothing gained.

That night, after Old Madam Chen went to bed, Liandan felt so anxious that he fell back into habit. He hugged the memorial tablet from the table into his arms and tossed in bed.

Was it possible that all of it had been his imagination from fear?

But when he looked at the marks on his body, and felt the pain behind him that still hadn’t faded, all of it told him that what he experienced that night had truly happened.

Images replayed in his mind. His body trembled. He bit his lip so hard it nearly bled.

…

Liandan could not make sense of it, so he muddled through his days.

A few days later, villagers were chatting at the crossroad. When Liandan went to fetch water, he heard them say that Lingyun Temple would no longer let pilgrims stay overnight.

An old man said with worry, “From now on, how can people pray for children? There’s nowhere to turn.”

Another sighed. “There’s nothing to be done. Master Yuanjing said he divined that there would be natural disasters in the next two years. They must close the gates and recite scriptures for the people of the world. This is important work that cannot be delayed.”

The first old man sighed again. “If I had known, I would’ve sent my daughter up a few days earlier. Who knows how long we’ll have to wait now.”

As Liandan passed, his face showed nothing unusual. But once past them, alone, his expression changed. Fear and horror showed on his face.

Lingyun Temple suddenly closed its gates and refused pilgrims, Liandan already felt it was connected to what happened that night.

That terrifying night on the mountain might not have been his imagination.

Another ten or so days later, Tang Hua suddenly came to see Liandan, looking heartbroken. He said that Qingyu from the neighboring village had slipped and drowned.

Liandan’s mind roared. For a long time he could not recover.

Night after night he could not sleep, always thinking of it.

He found out where Qingyu was buried. He knew that if he dug the grave at night when no one was around, and looked at her body, he would have his answer.

The weather was hot and damp. If he waited, the corpse would decay and lose its form. Then he would never be able to tell.

But Liandan did not dare. He could only shrink under his blanket, hugging his dead husband’s memorial tablet, his teeth chattering each night as he endured.

Until one night a month after returning from the mountain, Liandan felt cold all over. His teeth chattered from shivering.

His belly hurt unbearably. He dropped the tablet. It fell to the floor with a loud noise. Liandan felt he might not survive. But he still wanted to live. He did not want to die. He crawled toward the door to call for help.

But before he could reach it, before he could touch the door, a violent cramp wracked his belly. His vision went black. He fainted on the spot.

He did not know how long had passed when he slowly woke.

He felt he was lying in his familiar bed. In the room, someone was speaking softly.

When he struggled to rise, Old Madam Chen’s face appeared before him.

She pressed his shoulder down with her thick hand. Her face was full of joy. “Don’t get up. Lie down a little longer.”

Liandan looked at her in confusion, and at the old village doctor he had seen before, standing behind her.

Old Madam Chen sat by the bed, stroked his hair with unprecedented affection, and exclaimed in delight, “Liandan, you are pregnant. You carry my son’s seed in your belly!”

Liandan’s mind buzzed. He stared in disbelief at her face, twisted with joy, then turned his gaze to the old doctor.

He didn’t know why, but Liandan felt unusually fixated on this old man. He had seen him many times before, just an ordinary village elder.

The old doctor stood not far away, watching. When his eyes met Liandan’s, he gave a faint smile, his expression strange.

Then, inexplicably, he bowed deeply and respectfully to Liandan before turning to pack his medicine box.

Liandan watched his movements. His eyes lingered on the old man’s wrist exposed beneath his sleeve for a long time.