FMT 59

Chapter 59 Heart to Heart

When they were done, the bedding was soaked in a large patch. Liandan was so embarrassed he did not want to open his eyes. He let the young man wrap him in a blanket and carry him to the soft couch by the bed.

After changing to clean bedding, Shuangning carried him back onto the bed, lay down beside him, and pulled him into his arms.

Liandan lay face-down on his chest, he still refused to raise his head and look at him.

Before, it had always been straight to the point, sometimes even finished while their clothes were still on, just wiping off and putting on trousers again.

Two children had already been born, they had done this many times, yet Liandan was still inexperienced, not knowing there was such a thing as foreplay.

Chen Shuangning had great patience and gentleness. But the more he was like this, the more Liandan felt he could not bear it, until tears came out. Shuangning even got off the bed halfway, went to fetch a cloth, and left it at the bedside.

When Liandan’s tears flowed too much, he would take it and gently wipe them away.

Liandan could feel how restrained the other was, always trying to make him more comfortable. So although it hurt a lot at the beginning since it had been so long, after he got used to it, it felt different.

When he lost control, Liandan even did many bold things himself.

“Isn’t it suffocating like this?”

Shuangning lightly pinched his chin, wanting him to raise his head.

Liandan clung tightly to his shoulders, refusing no matter what.

The young man laughed which Liandan’s ears burned red. He caught a strand of hair at his neck, bit him on the shoulder as punishment.

It tickled, Shuangning shrank his shoulder and laughed even more.

He held Liandan and shifted him upward, kissed his ear, and asked in a husky voice, “Was it good just now?”

Liandan, mortified, still answered honestly with a soft “mm.”

Shuangning held him tighter and kissed his face and the top of his head again and again. Even the dullest person would feel how much he cherished and loved him.

Liandan was not dull at all. His heart softened. His shame and regret all vanished.

At last he lifted his head, kissed Shuangning’s lips in return. The young man’s emotions surged, his hand pressed the back of Liandan’s head, pulling him closer, sealing his lips with his own.

After the kiss, Liandan lay panting in his arms, gazing into his face for a long time.

In that moment, Shuangning still had a faint flush left on his cheeks from passion, his lips swollen from kissing, slightly parted, showing a bit of white teeth and red tongue. The look in his eyes was soft and full. This beauty belonged only to his lover, no one else could ever see it.

Liandan stared at him blankly. Shuangning’s lips curved up into another smile.

He asked, “Is it really that good to look at?”

Liandan followed his heart, nodded. “It’s good to look at.”

Shuangning’s expression did not change, but the tips of his ears flushed. He kissed Liandan’s nose and said, “As long as you like it.”

Liandan blinked. “I like it very much.”

They embraced, as if they wanted to meld each other into their bones.

Liandan laid a hand on his chest, while Shuangning played with the bracelet on his wrist, it was plain and not fine, yet Liandan had worn it since leaving the house that time.

The unreserved closeness just now seemed to have shattered the thin layer of ice between them.

Liandan asked, “You wanted to stay the night, why didn’t you say so?”

Shuangning replied, “After my poison was cleared, you stopped paying me much attention, and never mentioned moving in with me. I thought when you said you liked me, it was just to comfort me, to give me a reason to live.”

Liandan looked up in surprise. “I wasn’t coaxing you. It was the truth.”

Shuangning smiled, brushed his hair back, and said, “It was my fault, I thought too much.”

Liandan shook his head, guilty. “Not your fault, it’s my problem.”

Shuangning looked at him in puzzlement. Liandan said, “Shuangning, you don’t know how good you are. I’m only an ordinary ge’er.

“When you were sick, I had no time to think about it. But after you got well, I wondered if I had misunderstood. That maybe you were only good to me out of duty.”

Shuangning’s eyes filled with pain and regret. He cupped Liandan’s face. “I’m sorry, I made you uneasy. I should have told you sooner. I should have been as decisive as you, not so hesitant.”

His lips moved slowly. “Liandan, I like you.”

Liandan’s mouth trembled, tears spilling out in joy and grievance. He clung to Shuangning. “I like you too, I like you very much, I like you so much!”

Who moved first was unclear. Liandan lay back on the bed, holding the young man’s shoulders.

Though it was late, they showed no weariness. After all, they were still young.

The next day, the door to that room opened very late.

After lunch, Shuangruo brought medicine for Liandan. His cheeks were red. She asked nothing, just handed it over, and he drank it.

When she left, Shuangning poured hot water for him to rinse his mouth. After he rinsed, Shuangning leaned close to his ear and said, “From now on I’ll take care not to leave it inside…”

Liandan was about to catch fire. He hit Shuangning’s shoulder softly once, then went out of the room.

Chen Shuangning followed behind him.

The two of them went together to the nurse and carried Changle back.

Xiaodan had finished lunch and was playing in the courtyard with Bai family’s little girl. The two children were very happy.

Shuangning took Changle from Liandan’s arms, kissed the child’s forehead.

Liandan leaned his shoulder against his arm. Seeing no one passing by, he rubbed his cheek against the young man’s shoulder.

Shuangning smiled and lowered his head to whisper something in his ear. Liandan blushed, hit his shoulder again, then the two of them looked at each other and laughed together.

After resting in the big house for about half a month, Shuangning and Liandan decided to set out for Kaoshan Village.

Back when Shuangning was gravely ill, Liandan had already discussed with him about the Chen family’s house and fields. Now it was time to deal with it.

Shuangruo and Liu Shuqi were traveling with them. Of course, Shuangruo was going to be with her brother.

After revenge was finished and the sect split up, Liu Shusi was free. But he had always been close with the siblings, so after Shuangning asked his thoughts, he invited him to come along.

Leng Shan and Bai Wushuang’s families stayed behind in the house. When they left, Bai family’s little girl clung to Xiaodan, crying for a long time before she let go.

Even after sitting in the carriage, Xiaodan was still crying. Liandan, heart aching, held him in his arms and comforted, “At Mid-Autumn we will come back to the big house, and also for the New Year. You will play with your sister again then. Don’t cry.”

When they reached Lingyun Mountain’s area, they did not go directly to Kaoshan Village, but stayed in Miaoyun Town a dozen li away.

The shopkeeper and workers of Xinglong Treasure Shop had already gotten the message. They arranged a place for them behind the shop, a residence with two courtyards front and back, and several rooms, enough for everyone.

The shopkeeper had already paid the rent and broker’s fee in advance. Shuangning looked it over, was very satisfied. He not only reimbursed the money, but also gave the shopkeeper and helpers a generous reward.

They were frightened and did not dare accept. Shuangning said, “The sect no longer exists. From now on, there is no such thing as sect leader. Xinglong Treasure Shop relies on you all to run it. I will surely still need your help in the future, so don’t be too polite.”

Saying so, they accepted the money but still treated him with respect. Shuangning had no way to change them.

That night, everyone cleaned up their own rooms. Shuangruo and Liu Shuqi went out, bought food back, and everyone ate a full meal together, then went to rest.

Shuangning, Liandan, and Changle stayed in the main house, while Xiaodan stayed in the side room next door.

At night, Liandan worried Xiaodan might not sleep well in an unfamiliar place, so he stayed until the child fell asleep, then returned.

When he went back, Shuangning had already lulled Changle to sleep and was reading.

Liandan took off his outer robe and shoes, sat beside him, leaned on his shoulder. Shuangning put down the book and kissed his cheek.

“Shall we go see your sister tomorrow first?” Shuangning asked.

Liandan nodded. “Good.”

Shuangning hesitated, then asked, “Do you want to visit your family home?”

Liandan lowered his eyes. After a long pause, he answered, “Better not.”

Shuangning hummed in reply, did not continue the topic.

It was late. The two husbands lay down to sleep. They were both very tired from all the traveling.

The next morning, Shuangruo and Liu Shuqi stayed to continue tidying the house. Shuangning and Liandan took the two children on the carriage, clip-clopping to Zhang family of Beicha Village.

When they arrived, the sound of the carriage had already reached the courtyard. Bai Lianye, still wearing her apron, came out to greet them. Seeing her younger brother step down from the carriage, she cried and laughter and threw herself into his arms.

She hugged Xiaodan and Changle too, kissing them over and over.

When she saw Shuangning, she was startled. His voice and build were the same as before, but his face was completely different.

Liandan explained, “The paper body Shuangning used before would not last long. We met a wandering monk, Master Yuanjing, who made him a body that could last, only the face is not the same.”

Lianye noticed she had stared at Shuangning too long, quickly looked away, and said, “He looks good like this. Lasting is the best.”

Behind them, Zhang Qingyi with his limp came forward. Lianye explained to him. He sized up Shuangning and said, “This looks better than before.” Men did not care much for looks anyway. He smiled, “Don’t stand outside, come inside and talk.”

They went in. Zhang family’s parents-in-law were there too, bustling to bring things out. They all sat together, chatting and laughing.

Liandan glanced around quietly. The house was much improved compared to last time. The furnishings had all changed. Not wealthy, but better than most village homes.

It seemed her husband’s work had improved their life.

They had planned just to visit and leave gifts, but the in-laws insisted they stay for the meal.

After lunch, the old couple went to rest. At the table, Zhang Qingyi drank wine with Shuangning, not about to finish soon.

So Lianye called Liandan into the inner room.

Changle slept soundly on the bed. Xiaodan played on the floor with the family cat.

Lianye said, “So long without seeing you. Seeing you like this, these days must have been good.”

Liandan smiled. “Sister, don’t worry. He treats me very well.”

Lianye thought of something and asked, “Did you hear about our younger brother’s wife giving birth?”

Liandan nodded. “I heard.”

Lianye said, “I went for the full-month celebration.”

Liandan asked, “How was it?”

Lianye gave a bitter smile and shook her head. “I can’t make sense of it. I only think Mother has had it hard.”

Liandan frowned. “What happened?”

Lianye sighed. “Nothing much. Mother secretly pulled me aside. She said now Qingyi has money, I should secretly take some from home to help our younger brother.”

After these words, the siblings both lowered their heads, silent for a long time.

After a while, Lianye choked up. “When my family had trouble, I gave up on Father already. Mother never asked a word. Now she ignores my situation, making such demands. This time, I’m completely done.”

She held Liandan’s hand. “From now on, you and I are family. As for them, treat them as ordinary relatives. Just keep appearances.”

Liandan nodded, put an arm around his sister’s shoulders in comfort.