Chapter 103 – Team-Wide Instakill

While Drink Till You Drop went to contact War Banner, Fang Zheng began to worry about the ten-person team—there were eleven members in the Ghost Server Legion, so who to bring and who to leave behind? Eleven comrades in the YY channel also realized this issue and, as if by unspoken agreement, fell silent, making the atmosphere subtly tense after Drink left…

2B Fighter Jet: “Huh, seems like we have one extra person, right?”

Sorry, that was a mistake. Only ten Ghost Server comrades were awkwardly silent because of the required downsizing. Comrade Xiang Piaopiao¹A Chinese brand of instant milk tea whose advertising slogan claims that the number of cups sold in a year could circle the Earth multiple times. is busy “orbiting the Earth” =_=

Originally, Fighter Jet’s obliviousness was expected to make the atmosphere even more awkward, but as soon as he finished speaking, Diamond chimed in: “I won’t go. That makes it exactly ten.”

“Don’t do that,” Fang Zheng immediately objected without thinking. “We’re not some revolutionary team; we don’t advocate sacrifice and dedication. Let’s just roll the dice—whoever gets picked, goes.”

“Uh, I’m not trying to be noble,” Diamond sighed. “2nd to No1’s gear is downright tragic. I’d just drag the team down.”

2B: “Are you implying you regret buying the account…?”

Diamond: “Wow, you reacted surprisingly fast this time!”

Blood Bull: “But I don’t think he was implying anything.”

Diamond: “Sister Blood Bull, you’re really pulling aggro here…”

Fang Zheng: “Let’s just roll the dice.”

Diamond: “Commander, I know you want to keep everyone together and feel bad about kicking out a comrade, no matter how justified the reason. But let me be honest with you…”

Fang Zheng: “Hmm?”

Diamond: “Hitting max level really isn’t my life’s ambition.”

Diamond’s words were spoken with such conviction that Fang Zheng’s emotions became incredibly complex—

“Now you’re making the rest of us leveling up seem so… vulgar…”

The rest of the team: “Commander, you can humble yourself all you want, but don’t drag us into it.”

With the ten members decided, Fang Zheng led the team to gather in the Central Plains. The assembly order was issued in the YY channel, but after waiting at the meeting point for a long time and still not seeing Mad Lad, Fang Zheng belatedly realized—that guy wasn’t in the YY channel! Which meant he had missed the entire discussion!!

Annoyed, the Commander stood up and scanned the surroundings, finally spotting Jiang Yang in a corner to the right. Summoning all his inner strength, he bellowed: “Mad Lad! Get on YY—”

Even though the internet café was noisy, the Commander’s booming, penetrating voice attracted the attention of many onlookers. A teenager sitting opposite him, in the middle of drinking cola, choked as it shot out of his nose. Jiang Yang was also startled, his hand freezing mid-action. The little Assassin who had been ambushing couples at Shanhai Pass immediately lowered his dagger and looked up at a 45-degree angle, only to be hacked to pieces by the enraged victims.

“What the hell are you yelling for?!” Jiang Yang snapped back. After all, nearing max level, every death was a heartbreaking setback.

The Commander, completely innocent, continued loudly: “I wasn’t yelling ‘what the hell’—I was yelling for you—”

The onlookers all turned their heads in unison.

Jiang Yang succumbed under the weight of all those stares. The days of standing tall and retorting, “What the hell are you looking at? Never seen a handsome guy before?” were long gone. As a middle-aged veteran of the online gaming world, he obediently bowed to fate TAT

While logging into YY and secretly glancing at the smug, satisfied expression on that fatty’s face as he sat back down, Jiang Yang suddenly felt an indescribable, complicated emotion. From the natural ease of eating and drinking together when they first met, to the nervous, shy, and absurd moment of unexpectedly seeing Birdy at home, to the current cocky “whatever” attitude of yelling at him to get online—Fang Zheng was still the same Fang Zheng, but far more fun, interesting, and, well, cuter than during their last meetup. Except this cuteness skill seemed to have a specific target, and right now, he and Diamond, like Fifth Brother, could only enjoy the “Pervert” buff.

Glancing over at Birdy, who was sitting a bit farther away with people and machines blocking the view, Jiang Yang could only make out a vague outline. But it was enough to confirm that the guy still had no expression. How Birdy managed to pursue Fang Zheng was easy to understand—if the skill required to chase someone was scored out of 100, then a mere 10 points would be enough to sway the Commander, and 20 points would guarantee success. But why Birdy pursued Fang Zheng—especially after seeing his photo—remained a mystery to Jiang Yang. In fact, he couldn’t even comprehend that Birdy was gay. Simply put, Polly and he were from different planets. Judging from the perspective of a fellow gay man, Birdy had the height, a slightly lean but well-defined musculature, an overall balanced physique, and a face that was above average at first glance but grew more appealing the more you looked—a type that aged well. As for personality, when it came to men and their lower-half urges, whether someone was decisive and free-spirited or nagging and gossipy didn’t matter—once things got heated, even the gods and ghosts would be forgotten, let alone trivial details like personality.

Yeah, it was all about the lower-half urges. That’s why, the moment he saw Fang Zheng, he immediately crossed him off the list. Being able to sit together and chat over a meal was only because of their shared identity as comrades. If it had been some random hookup from online who turned out to look like the Commander, he would’ve walked away without hesitation—no point wasting each other’s time. But because it was the Commander, even after reality ended, the game continued. So you still had to work with, interact with, and coexist with this bizarre, scatterbrained, perverted, yet loyal mishmash of a person. Every conversation, every dungeon run—as long as it involved this guy, that face from memory would pop up. Like a godawful shop jingle you hear every time you pass by, until one day, you’re showering and suddenly find yourself humming that damn tune, and even feeling kinda good about it.

Habits are terrifying things, Jiang Yang mused.

The Commander’s roar instantly subdued Mad Lad, much to the Commander’s relief and the team’s astonishment, because the synchronized transmission in YY revealed a massive amount of information—

Your Uncle: “Commander, are you with Mad Lad right now?”

Fang Zheng was mortified—F2 was absolutely his nemesis!! But since the cat was out of the bag, lying would only make things worse, so he mumbled vaguely, “Uh, yeah, he came to hang out.”

“Meeting up in person and not even eating together, just rushing back to game? Commander, you’re the epitome of dedication in this industry!”

438, you’re the epitome of dedication too!

Fang Zheng: “Of course! As the leader of this legion, I must set an exemplary—”

“He went out of his way to meet you alone during a business trip? You two are that close already?”

Blood Bull, I hate you TAT

“What’s going on? The healer and the Assassin hooked up?? Damn, Parrot, you got dumped again?!”

Fighter Jet, you always leave me speechless.

“Not just Mad Lad—we’re all here.” The Commander’s HP bar was depleted, but the Vice Commander’s wasn’t. In fact, he was still carrying a few support buffs like “Blessing of Love,” so he leisurely helped explain, “Me, Fifth Brother, Diamond.”

The world fell silent.

Two minutes later, 438 voiced the collective outrage on behalf of the masses: “Aaaah!! Screw you guys for forming a clique!!”

“That’s not accurate,” the Deputy Commander replied with logic, politeness, and restraint. “Forming a clique implies everyone gathers for a common goal. That’s not us. I came to see my boyfriend. Fifth Brother and Diamond came to discuss business. Mad Lad… well, whatever, it doesn’t matter why he’s here. We just happened to overlap in timing, so we ended up together.”

The Commander’s inner thoughts: He knows about the business deal! How does he know about the business deal?! This makes no sense!!! TAT

Mad Lad’s inner thoughts: Screw you [middle finger]

Thanks to this interlude, while waiting for Five Peaks Pavilion, the group started planning a full-team meetup, debating whether Christmas or New Year would be more suitable.

Finally, Drink Till You Drop’s twenty-man army arrived in full force.

The Ghost Server comrades took a closer look—most of the IDs were familiar, but none started with “War.”

[Not considering Meteor Blitz?]

[Unless I’ve got a death wish.]

Those words still rang in their ears. Drink, why have you forsaken treatment…

[Local] Big H: Ohhh, if it isn’t our Ghost Server friends~~~~

[Local] Drink Till You Drop: Didn’t I tell you before we came? We’re teaming up with Ghost Server =_=

[Local] Big H: Brother, sense of humor, do you have it? If we don’t hype up the mood, where’s the excitement for the dungeon later!

[Local] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: I thought when Greatsword left, he took your passion with him too ╮(╯_╰)╭

[Local] Big H: What kind of talk is that~~ Even Vivian didn’t want to take your chicken²“鸡” (jī) A shortened slang term for penis. [shy]~~ How could Greatsword take away my gay vibes³It’s a phonetic pun. The characters used for passion/enthusiasm (“激情”) sound identical to the characters used for gay passion/bromance (“基情”), and the “ji” for penis sounds like the “ji” for gay.~~ [wiggling]

White Dragon Horse instantly collapsed, so fast and sudden that he didn’t even have time to type an ellipsis.

Fang Zheng instinctively looked up at Birdy, who happened to be looking back at him. Their gazes collided in the murky air of the internet café, sparking an otherworldly sizzle.

[Whisper] Polly: He didn’t come to me for lessons in sarcasm.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I was just thinking about it, not actually asking!

[Whisper] Polly: Oh, heh.

Is it too late to break up now? =_=

Among the ten players sporting Meteor Blitz guild IDs, aside from the Spirit Master Northern Frontier Rouge, all were familiar faces. But among those familiar faces, two stood out as particularly incongruous—

Demon Refiner, Hu Yifei12138.

Zombie, Bastard Zeng.

Back during the cross-server PvP, the Anti-Romance Alliance had raced ahead as dark horses to claim the championship, a memory still fresh in the minds of those who witnessed it. Hu Yifei’s world-destroying pet combat power, Bastard Zeng’s godly zombie guerrilla tactics, along with Five-Star Red Flag, Flag Raiser, Beef with Scallions, and others—each had high-tier skills that completely belied their IDs. Yet, right after the cross-server PvP, this supposedly hidden master guild suddenly vanished, leaving only the guild leader Hu Yifei to occasionally log in, mostly to spectate drama.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Did Meteor Blitz merge with the Anti-Romance Alliance?

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Uh, Ghost Server Commander, are you talking to me? >_<

[Local] Big H: Pretty sure it’s me~~

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Huh? [cleaver]

[Local] Big H: Yep, definitely you!

When a lady speaks, a gentleman shouldn’t leave her hanging—

[Local] Milk is Mom: Hey~~

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Aaah, healer! I’m a diehard fan of you and Polly!! You two are my OTP!!!

[Local] Milk is Mom: ……

[Local] Polly: Thanks ^_^

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: So, spill—when did you two hit it off? Definitely not during cross-server PvP, right? I could tell, zero chemistry back then.

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Who pursued who?

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Are you both gay, or did the zombie bend the healer?

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Back when the zombie was in Huaxia Dominion, he had a thing with the guild leader.

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Wait, did Xuanyuan quit because the healer homewrecked???

When the girl asked the first question, Fang Zheng genuinely wondered how to answer. But by the time she finished her laundry list of questions… Holy hell, is this a civil service exam answer key?!

The Ghost Server Commander wasn’t the only one feeling the pressure—

[Local] Bastard Zeng: Guild Leader, have some dignity [sweat]

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Aww~~ I’m not a guild leader anymore~~~ [coquettish]

[Local] Bastard Zeng: Keep this up and I’m going back to the workshop TAT

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Pfft, fine.

Once the gossip was cleared, Fang Zheng remembered a question that had plagued them back then—

[Local] Milk is Mom: By the way, after cross-server, you said you were graduating and disbanding the guild. But you could’ve kept playing after graduating, right? Why disband?

[Local] Hu Yifei12138: Ugh, don’t even get me started. Our majors were pretty niche, so we all got hired by the same company. And guess what? That crappy company’s dorms don’t have internet!

[Local] Milk is Mom: ……

[Local] Blood Bulls Don’t Graze: ……

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: ……

[Local] Polly: ……

[Local] Crossplayer’s Blessing: ……

[Local] Mad Lad: ……

[Local] Refined Into a Demon715: ……

[Local] Little Lucky Charm: Huh, that sounds familiar…

Though the Central Plains had been overcrowded lately, a massive group of thirty players—especially from three fairly renowned guilds—was a spectacular sight. Some curious players even started following them to watch the show. The allied forces didn’t mind, because at this point, the level 70 quest was bound to be exposed any minute. The priority now was completing it before anyone else, not secrecy.

But as it turned out, someone was faster.

At the abandoned mine entrance, a black mass of thirty players—led by Huaxia Dominion, with War Banner and Burn Books and Bury Scholars in tow—had already blockaded the entrance.

Just as Drink Till You Drop had said, War Banner had declined their offer and chosen to ally with Huaxia Dominion, leaving Meteor Blitz as their only option. Fortunately, Big H hadn’t stubbornly remained faithful to Greatsword, having learned that the real reason for his departure wasn’t the scandal surrounding White Dragon Horse’s cuckolding but his impending marriage—and his fiancée forcing him to choose between family and gaming. Big H respected his decision, but that didn’t stop him from mentally beating the guy with a spiked club ten thousand times! Ten thousand!!!

The fact that War Banner and Huaxia Dominion had teamed up was undeniable. However, Fang Zheng remained skeptical of War Banner’s reason to Drink—”We have more faith in Huaxia Dominion’s strength”—and now, face-to-face with the War family, he couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt.

[Local] Drink Till You Drop: You guys are fast.

[Local] Everything Breaks: Likewise.

[Local] Drink Till You Drop: Want to go in first?

[Local] Everything Breaks: No, you go ahead.

As the new leader of Huaxia Dominion, Everything Breaks was indeed a man of action. Without hesitation, he withdrew his team several meters, yielding the dungeon entrance mechanism.

Instinct told Fang Zheng something was off. Drink clearly thought so too, but the dungeon was right there. Like the fable of the little horse crossing the river⁴A classic Chinese children’s story about a pony who is told by an ox that a river is shallow and by a squirrel that it is deep., they wouldn’t know until they tried. After a moment’s hesitation, Drink stepped forward and activated the mechanism.

A dialog box instantly popped up on all thirty allied players’ screens—”Enter Loose Pine Coal Mine?”

Drink Till You Drop, as the alliance leader, selected “Yes” on behalf of all six five-man teams.

After a lengthy loading screen, their monitors darkened. The thirty players found themselves crammed into a narrow mine shaft, dimly lit by a few flickering bulbs embedded in the earthen walls.

Before entering, all thirty had already joined the Five Peaks Pavilion YY channel, so Drink immediately warned, “Everyone, be careful, there might be—”

Before he could finish, a torrent of muddy water and rocks suddenly gushed from the walls, pelting the players and chipping away at their HP! The damage per hit was minimal, but the sheer volume was overwhelming!

These thirty comrades weren’t just randomly selected—they represented some of the best players in Huaxia. Without needing orders, they immediately sprinted down the shaft! Though the end was invisible in the darkness, fleeing forward was their only hope to avoid drowning or being crushed.

The shaft only allowed three players to run abreast, so while the vanguard raced ahead, the rear guard was literally sacrificing their lives to the pursuing flood—

Fifth Brother: “Dammit, who’s leading? Can’t you run faster?! Laozi only has half HP left! The water’s up to my waist!!”

No response.

The line of players was too strung out, and the shaft too dark. Even at maximum zoom, Fifth Brother couldn’t spot the frontrunner.

But the Ghost Server Commander, part of the second wave, was close enough to see—

“Big H, faster! Shift gears! Accelerate! Floor it!!”

“Fuck! I’m not a Honda!!” The frontrunner was miserable because he hadn’t meant to lead—his fingers had just instinctively gone into overdrive during the escape ╮(╯_╰)╭

“What kind of crappy dungeon is this, throwing us into a headless chicken scramble right off the bat?!” someone grumbled.

“Can’t blame the dungeon,” Fang Zheng sighed. “Someone had to jinx it by saying, ‘Everyone, be careful, there might be—'”

Drink scowled: “I said there might be monsters!”

[System] Coal Sprite: This mountain is mine, these trees I planted! To pass through here, leave your money or your life!

Big H: “Shit, there’s a stone gate blocking the way! Can’t get past!”

Drink, are you and Your Uncle long-lost brothers or what?!

No time to dwell on that, especially for Big H, facing the gate. Finding no mechanism, he immediately clicked the knee-high NPC beside it. Sure enough, a dialog box appeared—but this time, it wasn’t just for him. All thirty teammates had the same question pop up in the center of their screens:

Coal Sprite: Which of the following actors did NOT appear in the movie “The Eagle Shooting Heroes”?

A. Leslie Cheung

B. Tony Leung Ka-fai

C. Tony Leung Chiu-wai

D. Andy Lau

……

Thirty comrades were stunned.

What the hell is this?!

As tens of thousands of alpacas stampeded through their hearts, Birdy-kun’s calm voice came through YY—

“D.”

The Ghost Server Commander, hyper-attuned to that voice, snapped out of his daze and tried clicking the option—only to find his cursor frozen!

Panicking, he heard Fifth Brother’s mournful farewell: “See you guys on the other side.”

A glance at the status bar confirmed another life extinguished.

Drink finally reacted and, like Fang Zheng, tried selecting an answer—except he succeeded!

Coal Sprite: D, correct!

Apparently, to prevent thirty people from randomly selecting different answers, the system had designated only the alliance leader as the responder.

Almost instantly—

Fang Zheng wiped his sweat and hurriedly maneuvered Milk is Mom toward the back to find and revive Fifth Brother…

Coal Sprite: Which of the following is NOT a work by Agatha Christie?

A. “The Mysterious Affair at Styles”

B. “The Murders in the Rue Morgue”

C. “The Murder on the Links”

D. “Peril at End House”

Again?!

Fang Zheng had assumed the mudslide would recede after the first question, but no—it had merely changed tactics, from violent pursuit to silent encroachment. Now, the water in the shaft had risen past their calves!

White Dragon Horse: “Who designed this dungeon? Were they high? How many questions do we need to answer to open this gate?!”

Fang Zheng: “Doesn’t matter, just Baidu it.”

Coal Sprite: Time’s up!⁵“The Murders in the Rue Morgue” This is a short story by Edgar Allan Poe, in case anyone is curious. B is the answer.

Beep beep beep beep beep—

Big H: “What the—?”

Bastard Zeng: “Probably an alarm…”

Zeng was right. After the beeping, the water that had only reached their calves moments ago rapidly surged up to their noses, and the thirty-strong alliance was instantly wiped out =_=

Being forcibly ejected from the dungeon after a wipe required another loading screen. Seven or eight seconds later, the comrades respawned at the mine entrance, greeted once more by blue skies and white clouds—and the sight of Huaxia Dominion, War Banner, and Burn Books and Bury Scholars.

Now even an idiot could tell they hadn’t been courteous—they’d already entered, wiped, and were eagerly awaiting their fellow failures.

[Local] Drink Till You Drop: How many did you get right?

[Local] Everything Breaks: Not many.

[Local] War-Bodhi Patriarch: Cut the humble act. Next time, you’re not leading. Damn, you didn’t even answer before time ran out!

[Local] Drink Till You Drop: We only made it to the second question. Not much better.

[Team] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Drink, now’s not the time for modesty. We’re more interested in what you were thinking just now.

[Team] Gentle Blade: Wrong answer aside, you didn’t even try, did you?

[Team] Drink Till You Drop: Didn’t realize there was a time limit. I was Baidu-ing.

[Team] Milk is Mom: ……

Uh, he’d just been joking—he hadn’t known the time limit was so short or that wrong answers or timeouts would send them plummeting into the abyss… The designers had zero consideration! The NPC should’ve opened with a proper introduction!

—”Welcome, players, to the Huaxia edition of Stand to the End⁶A Chinese TV quiz show where contestants compete in fast-paced trivia battles. Answering incorrectly gets you eliminated by being dropped through a trapdoor, and the goal is to be the last one standing..”

• 1
  A Chinese brand of instant milk tea whose advertising slogan claims that the number of cups sold in a year could circle the Earth multiple times.
• 2
  “鸡” (jī) A shortened slang term for penis.
• 3
  It’s a phonetic pun. The characters used for passion/enthusiasm (“激情”) sound identical to the characters used for gay passion/bromance (“基情”), and the “ji” for penis sounds like the “ji” for gay.
• 4
  A classic Chinese children’s story about a pony who is told by an ox that a river is shallow and by a squirrel that it is deep.
• 5
  “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” This is a short story by Edgar Allan Poe, in case anyone is curious. B is the answer.
• 6
  A Chinese TV quiz show where contestants compete in fast-paced trivia battles. Answering incorrectly gets you eliminated by being dropped through a trapdoor, and the goal is to be the last one standing.