Chapter 105 – I Am a Love Guru

Jiang Yang returned, seething with resentment—not to witness two preschoolers in love, but because his luggage and laptop were still here. Even if he wanted to go to a hotel, he had to come back to retrieve them. Diamond, on the other hand, was simple. Right now, Jiang Yang was his room key, so naturally, he followed along. Thus, the guild leader and deputy holed up indoors to cram-watch videos—though, of course, this was the guild leader’s one-sided version of events. Diamond followed Jiang Yang to the hotel after he collected his luggage, leaving Fifth Brother alone on the camp bed with his laptop, immersed in Samsung Intelligence Express. Occasionally, he’d glance at the tightly shut bedroom door, hearing nothing, and then refocus, continuing to drift in the vast ocean of encyclopedic knowledge. Later, during a break for digestion and absorption, he switched back to the game and changed the description of his AFK vending stall from “Power Leveling~Huaxia Coins~Materials~Gear~” to “No extravagance, no nosiness, diligent and considerate, upright and candid, a real man through and through. I am Fifth Brother, and I speak for myself.”

On the other side of the wall, in the guild leader’s bedroom.

Fang Zheng leaned against the headboard, the laptop on his lap displaying a contestant choosing to ask the audience for help. Fang Zheng frowned slightly, seemingly engrossed, but in reality, he had no clue what question the host had asked.

Meng Chudong sat beside him, close enough that his breath occasionally brushed Fang Zheng’s cheek.

This was God’s test for him, the guild leader firmly believed.

An unknowable amount of time passed—so long that Fang Zheng’s soul had already entered a vast, blank world—when Birdy’s voice suddenly descended from the heavens, piercing through the emptiness—

“It’s over.”

Fang Zheng knew someone was speaking, but for a moment, he still couldn’t process it.

Meng Chudong sighed. He had thought he was tense enough, but encountering this guy instantly gave him a sense of superiority. “This season’s over. It won’t auto-buffer anymore.” With that, he reached over, took the laptop back onto his own lap, closed the webpage, and shut the screen. The fan soon stopped spinning as the laptop entered sleep mode.

Fang Zheng stared blankly as Meng Chudong placed the laptop back on the nightstand. It took him a long while to react. “Not watching anymore?”

Meng Chudong nodded.

“Then… what should we do?”

“…”

This was a highly technical and expansive question, so much so that Meng Chudong couldn’t answer immediately. As for Fang Zheng, the moment he asked, he wanted to chop off his own tongue =_=

“No, I mean, it’s still a bit early to… uh, rest, right?” So-called nervousness was when even words that could spark imagination were too scary to say. In truth, “sleep” was an innocent word.

But even more innocent was Meng Chudong.

He couldn’t for the life of him understand how this guy could go to dinner with Jiang Yang with a hookup mindset, yet when it came to him, even after sharing a bed, he was still as pure as distilled water. Damn it, was he here for a primary school field trip?!

Wait, no. Originally, he had just wanted to meet the guy. When had that intention changed into wanting to get closer, closer still…

Fang Zheng had no clue what Birdy was thinking. He just noticed the other’s gaze growing distant, as if drifting off into infinity, and instinctively waved a hand in front of his face. “Hey, what’re you thinking about? Your soul’s about to fly away.”

Meng Chudong snapped back to reality and instinctively grabbed the hand waving in front of him. His first thought: So soft and squishy >_<

Fang Zheng was startled, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest. Thankfully, his expression held firm, revealing no cracks, so he let the other hold his hand. After all, they were in a relationship now—they’d even kissed. There was no need to be coy about something as sweet as holding hands.

Meng Chudong’s fingers were long. Though not as plump as Fang Zheng’s, he found he could still wrap them around that plump little bun.

Fang Zheng let him fiddle. As the initial nervousness faded, the happiness sown from the moment he saw Birdy began to sprout and bloom. Plus, since Birdy wasn’t looking at him, he could freely gaze at the other—from his brows to his eyes, from his nose to his lips.

Sometimes, the world was just strange like that.

Before even meeting Jiang Yang, he’d wondered if they’d hook up if they met. But with Birdy, even face-to-face, even sharing a bed, his mind remained pure. Though he’d tense up occasionally from the other’s actions, at the core, his heart was calm—and beneath that calm was joy, so much that he didn’t want to blink. It wasn’t fear that the other might disappear, but the sense that missing even a fraction of a second would be a loss.

This was his partner.

This guy was his!

~\(≧▽≦)/~ La la la la la

Meng Chudong thought Fang Zheng would say something else, but after sneaking glances multiple times, he noticed the other’s expression shift from a non-smile to a smile, then from a smile to a silly grin—and then it stayed that way for a long time.

In a way, the guild leader was still the guild leader. His combat power might be trash, but his mental fortitude was absolutely invincible.

Letting go of Fang Zheng’s hand, Meng Chudong sighed deeply. “I rode a bus for hours just to sit side by side with you, play games, and watch variety shows?”

“Uh,” Fang Zheng quietly withdrew his hand, unconsciously clenching it, fingertips rubbing against his slightly warm palm, “That does sound a bit brutal…”

“So,” Meng Chudong straightened up, sitting properly, “Let’s talk.”

Fang Zheng quickly sat up too. “Sure, what do you want to talk about?”

Meng Chudong wanted to facepalm. “Do I need to draft an agenda for you?”

Fang Zheng beamed. “How thoughtful of you, Birdy!”

Meng Chudong wanted to pinch his cheek again =_=

But before he could lift his hand, a thought flashed through his mind faster.

“Fine. Let’s start with Fifth Brother and Diamond. When did you two decide to go into business together?”

“Right around when Fifth Brother joined the guild. Not long ago.”

“Didn’t plan to tell me?”

“Yeah—Wait, no! I-I wasn’t not planning to tell you!”

“Too late.”

No fair tricking me TAT

The night wind seeped through the cracks of the old window, bringing a faint chill into the room.

“I was afraid it wouldn’t work out, that I’d end up with nothing to show for it. So I wanted to wait until it was successful before telling you.” Once he started, the rest flowed naturally. Fang Zheng realized that confessing to someone he liked wasn’t actually hard—or maybe it was precisely because it was Birdy that he unconsciously felt it didn’t matter whether he said it or not; the other would know anyway. So he laid it bare. “You’ve seen my situation—no money, no job, looks and figure… Well, let’s skip that depressing topic. Though I don’t know you that well either, if I remember correctly, you run an internet café, right? And you’re—well, just look at you. Oh, and you’re better than me at games too. Damn, you’re practically an all-rounder…”

Birdy couldn’t take it anymore and cut in sharply, “Tell me when it’s successful? When do you think that’ll be?”

Fang Zheng froze, about to say How should I know? But then he realized that would make the partnership’s future seem like a pipe dream, so he was lost in thought for a long time before answering, “If we can really take it step by step, maybe three to five years. I can’t promise how big it’ll get, but at least it’ll be up and running.”

“And then tell me?”

“Yeah, then tell you.”

“You sure I’ll still be by your side by then?”

“…”

Fang Zheng suddenly felt cold.

Yeah, how could he be so sure? The only thing he was certain of was himself—he couldn’t tie anyone else down.

Suddenly, his body was enveloped in warmth as Meng Chudong hugged him, resting his chin on Fang Zheng’s shoulder, breath tickling his ear. “So you should’ve pulled me into this from the start. Then I wouldn’t dare run, or I’d lose both the person and the money.”

Fang Zheng’s eyes suddenly stung.

He’d known this guy for less than five hours in person, and the images of his online and offline selves hadn’t even merged yet, but he already couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this warmth. His expression was cold, his tone was cold, his occasional sharp tongue could freeze you to death—yet when you put it all together, it became warmth. He wouldn’t say how much he liked you, wouldn’t praise you to the skies. He might even call you fat, unhealthy, or lament your lack of intelligence—yet he’d stay by your side, making you believe he was there, no matter when, as long as you reached out, you could touch him.

More reassuring than any promise.

Devious, yet sincere.

“Is it too late to pull you in now?”

“I’ll think about it…”

……

If there was anything the deputy could regret in this world, letting the guild leader happily skip off to the bathroom after that hug instead of pouncing on him would definitely rank in the top ten.

What? Pounce after he’s done washing?

That’s easy to say for someone who didn’t see the guild leader’s face glowing with “So happy and satisfied, just need a good night’s sleep to complete my bliss~\(≧▽≦)/~” innocence.

Bored out of his mind, stuck waiting for his turn to shower and unable to sleep, Birdy picked up the laptop. He had meant to log into the game, but after reconnecting to Wi-Fi and the chubby QQ automatically signing in, he noticed a message from Lu Yue half an hour ago—

Dead Set on the Apricot: You’ve gone missing—not even replying to texts. Wanted to call but worried I’d interrupt something good. If you see this tomorrow, hit me back!

His phone was in his backpack. Birdy fished it out and checked—yep.

[How’s the real deal?]

Back at the laptop, he typed a reply—

Polly: Here?

The response was lightning-fast, like an auto-reply—

Dead Set on the Apricot: Here here here!

Dead Set on the Apricot: You met?

Even without seeing him, Birdy could picture the guy’s eagerly blinking, starry-eyed expression.

Polly: Met.

Dead Set on the Apricot: How was it? Like you imagined?

Polly: Had photos. Didn’t need to imagine.

Dead Set on the Apricot: Damn, that pic he sent was real?! Not just some random dude pretending to be him for a surprise?!

Polly: …

Polly: You overthink too much.

Dead Set on the Apricot: So you knew he looked like that and still rushed over?

Polly: Problem?

Dead Set on the Apricot: Nah, that’s true love right there.

Polly: Ran into a rival.

Dead Set on the Apricot: Huh?

Polly: I was three months behind at the starting line.

Dead Set on the Apricot: And he didn’t seal the deal?! So you got lucky?!

Polly: Not that he didn’t. He came, saw, hesitated, and didn’t pull the trigger.

Dead Set on the Apricot: Understandable.

Polly: But now he wants to.

Dead Set on the Apricot: You’re all sick. Get help TAT

Polly: Heh, so you see, it’s good he’s like this. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had a chance.

Dead Set on the Apricot: What’s meant to be will be, what’s not won’t. If it’s yours, it’s yours—no such thing as ‘having a chance’ or not.

Polly: Rare for you to say something decent.

Dead Set on the Apricot: And you don’t even have ‘rare’ going for you =_=

Polly: Actually, after a while, he grows on you.

Polly: Fair skin.

Polly: Super soft too.

Polly: Hugs are comfy.

Polly: Wanted to check out his belly, but no chance—he ran off.

Polly: Sigh.

Polly: You there?

Dead Set on the Apricot: Done for. No saving you now.

Polly: ?

After sharing his first taste of romance with his childhood friend, Birdy felt refreshed in body and mind, even the night sky outside seeming more beautiful. Where stars had once looked like gravel, they now sparkled like crushed diamonds. The crescent moon, once resembling a fried dough stick, now gleamed like a gold bar.

Though repeated attempts to log into the game failed, everything was still wonderful. The deputy basked in this intoxicating happiness, waiting for the guild leader to return fresh from his shower. But after waiting and waiting with no sign, his QQ chimed again—

Mad Lad: Here?

Though they usually used YY, back when they first met, Meng Chudong and Jiang Yang had been obsessed with PKing each other, so they’d added each other on QQ for convenience. But aside from the very beginning, the two had rarely chatted privately afterward—not intentionally, it just naturally drifted apart. Such was the strange, unpredictable nature of human connections.

Polly: Here.

Mad Lad: Not asleep?

Polly: Shouldn’t be.

Mad Lad: What’s he up to?

Polly: Showering.

Mad Lad: …

Mad Lad: You really planning to go for it?

Polly: Got anything to do with you?

Mad Lad: Actually, I’ve always been curious about something.

Polly: Falling for him in-game makes sense—his personality is fun, mouthy but easy to get along with. But still liking him after meeting in person? Hard to get unless your taste is off.

Mad Lad: If not for your name, I’d think I wrote that =_=

Polly: Not a hard thought to grasp.

Mad Lad: But I feel like you’ll give me an answer I can’t grasp.

Polly: Overthinking it.

Mad Lad: Not hard to understand?

Polly: I just won’t give it to you.

Mad Lad: …

Mad Lad: Tch. You telling him to lose weight—isn’t that disliking him too?

Polly: One’s about health. The other’s about not wanting him stuck in a cycle of self-pity as ‘that fat guy.’ If he were happily shouting ‘Being fat’s great! I’m fat, therefore I am! No fat, no happiness!’ to everyone, I’d be relieved. You know how hard it is to drag a fat guy out of bed for a morning jog? It’s like a dungeon raid.

Mad Lad: Whatever, I won’t ask. We’ll see. None of us are saints, acting all high and mighty like some love guru.

Polly: I am more of a love guru than you.

Mad Lad: Fuck off.

Polly: Before meeting, you messed with him in-game, right?

Mad Lad: Meaning?

Polly: If you hadn’t given him some hope, he wouldn’t have agreed to meet you at all.

Mad Lad: So?

Polly: So your ‘liking him’ has zero to do with him. Bottom line, any Tom, Dick, or Harry would do. You messed with him because it amused you. You wanted to amuse yourself—that’s why you ‘liked’ him.

Polly: But when I like someone, I want to be good to them. Even if it’s stuff I don’t enjoy, even if it makes me unhappy—as long as he’s happy, I’ll do it. Because I like him.

Mad Lad: Oh, how noble. Go on, enlighten me—what don’t you enjoy?

Polly: Stuff like partying with you for dungeons, talking on YY, chatting on QQ~~~

Mad Lad: Has anyone ever told you your personality sucks =_=

Polly: Proud of it ^_^