Chapter 120 – The Great Escape of Life

The pickpocket’s expression instantly turned grim, feeling mocked and humiliated. A string of expletives—so vulgar they’d be censored with “beep—” on any TV station worldwide—erupted from his mouth, all fresh and unique compared to his earlier outburst.

Birdy brushed off the last speck of dirt from Fang Zheng’s clothes, then walked over and squatted down, dead serious. “He wasn’t lying. I can vouch for that.”

Fifth Brother and Diamond collapsed on the spot!

Now was not the time to flaunt your relationship, damn it!!!

Suppressing the urge to beat up their own guild officers, Fifth Brother asked, “So what now? Call the cops?”

Fang Zheng was startled. “He’s just a kid. No need for that, right?”

“Kid my ass,” Diamond, who had somehow already fished out the guy’s ID from his pocket, shoved it in Fang Zheng’s face. “Look closely. He’s turning twenty in two months.”

Fang Zheng leaned in, scrutinizing the photo, then looked down at the guy, then back at the photo. “Holy shit, he looks way younger than this!”

“Can we call first and marvel later…?” If Fifth Brother hadn’t been busy restraining the guy, he’d have facepalmed.

It wasn’t that the guild leader was stalling on purpose—he’d just never dialed 110 in his life. He was weirdly excited, okay?!

While the four of them were lost in their thoughts, the pickpocket had quietly maxed out his HP and MP bars. With a sudden burst of energy, he sprang up from the ground, knocking over Fifth Brother (who’d been holding him) and Diamond (who’d loosened his grip after grabbing the ID). Without a second’s hesitation, he accelerated from zero to a hundred in an instant, bolting out of the internet café like lightning!

Fang Zheng was the first to react. Not even bothering to check if Fifth Brother and Diamond were hurt, he kicked off with his stubby legs and charged after the thief!

Birdy hurried after him.

To be precise, the deputy leader hadn’t been slower to react—he just hadn’t planned on chasing the guy in the first place. In fact, even now, his sprint wasn’t for the thief but for the one chasing the thief =_=

By the time Fang Zheng dashed out, the pickpocket was already nearing the street corner, about to disappear in a flash. If he’d been even a second slower, he might’ve lost him. But that tiny head start was all he needed to see the light of victory! The blood, sweat, and tears of his morning jogs surged through him at this moment! He wasn’t fighting alone—he carried the hopes of countless chubby souls on his back!

Closer.

Closer!

Even closer!

The moment the pickpocket slowed down slightly to turn the corner, Fang Zheng leaped forward and tackled him to the ground again!

But before he could celebrate, the guy, ignoring the pain of the fall, slammed an elbow straight into Fang Zheng’s face!

Fang Zheng had never been treated like this before—his last fight dated back to the 20th century. Instantly, half his face went numb, and his head spun. Before he could recover, the thief’s face suddenly loomed large in his vision. Confused, Fang Zheng barely had time to react before his forehead was met with a brutal headbutt!!!

Anyone who’s ever played the egg-cracking game during the Dragon Boat Festival knows this: if one egg is held still while the other is smashed into it, the stationary egg is far more likely to crack.

The guild leader’s forehead didn’t crack.

But his soul shattered into pieces, scattering into the wind like confetti.

By the time he regained his senses, the ruthless criminal had already crossed 60% of the road. A few more seconds, and he’d reach the other side, vanishing into the sea of people.

But damn it, this was a freshly built eight-lane road! It was huge! The cars were plentiful! The speed limits were blazing!!! Had Chinese law changed? Was theft punishable by summary execution now?! Otherwise, there was no explanation for why this guy was fleeing like his life depended on it!!!

Even as he sat on the curb, aching from head to toe, the guild leader couldn’t help but worry for the thief. Meanwhile, the deputy leader, who’d been chasing from behind, had already darted out and was halfway across the road in the blink of an eye!

Fang Zheng’s mind screamed just four words: What the actual fuck?!

“Are you out of your mind?!” All pain and dizziness were instantly forgotten as Fang Zheng sprang up like he’d been injected with adrenaline. “Stay there! Don’t move! I mean it!!!”

Deputy Leader, currently straddling the guardrail (one leg over, one leg not), found himself in an awkward position. The railing, freshly painted just yesterday, was sticky and reeked of paint—hardly up to his usual standards. After a brief pause, Meng Chudong resumed climbing!

Fang Zheng felt like he was losing his mind. He charged onto the road without a second thought!

The drivers were losing their minds too. One jaywalker was bad enough, but three of them? Where was the civic decency?!

In the cacophony of furious honking, the thief was about to cross the final lane when—as the saying goes—the night walker finally met a ghost. A speeding Buick, not expecting pedestrians on the road, showed no signs of slowing down!

The thief seemed to hear the noise and turned to look. That split-second hesitation cost him his chance to dodge. The car’s front bumper was inches from ramming into his side!

At the last possible moment, Birdy, who’d finally caught up, yanked him back by the collar. The Buick whizzed past the two of them. Fang Zheng, draped over the half-scaled guardrail, was about to catch his breath when the thief—the same guy he’d just saved—tried the same elbow move on Birdy!

Birdy dodged quickly, but the thief used the opening to shake free and kept running!

Is the police station scarier than the crematorium or what?!

Fang Zheng surrendered. In this battle of wills, he admitted defeat. Leaning on the guardrail, he shouted at Birdy, “Meng Chudong, stop fucking chasing him! That lunatic’s got a death wish—”

If even the guild leader had figured it out, the deputy leader certainly had. He’d only lost his temper seeing Fang Zheng get hit. But the near-miss with the Buick snapped him back to reality, and Fang Zheng’s yell sealed the deal. He stopped right there, carefully eyeing the traffic for a safe gap to cross the last lane.

But both the guild leader and deputy leader were wrong about one thing: the thief wasn’t actually suicidal. The proof? Just as he stepped onto the sidewalk, a car—trying to avoid Meng Chudong—hugged the curb too closely and nearly hit him. In a heart-stopping screech of brakes, the thief somehow managed to leap two meters forward, not only dodging the car but landing safely on the other side!

Fang Zheng, still draped over the guardrail, gritted his teeth in frustration. He didn’t want the guy to get hit, but watching the villain escape unscathed left a bitter taste in his mouth…

Wait.

Something was off.

The thief, as he landed, seemed to lose his balance. In his frantic flailing, he turned from facing away from the street to facing it—but still couldn’t steady himself. Stumbling forward, his face smashed full-force into the curb!

The thief didn’t move.

The deputy leader, standing not far away, didn’t move.

The guild leader, still draped over the guardrail, didn’t move.

The world became a blank canvas, with only two overlapping circles at its center—one gray, the other black. It was a manhole cover, once masquerading as solid ground but now flipped open from the impact, loosely half-covering the hole beneath.

What’s the scariest thing in the world?

The Ghost Server Legion Leader had a heartfelt answer: calling 120.

Especially the agonizing wait for that white ambulance with its blaring sirens while cradling a blood-covered victim. He couldn’t even tell where the injuries were—the entire face was a mess of blood. Touching it was out of the question; he might help stop the bleeding, or he might make it worse. Each drop of blood hitting the ground was torture for those still conscious, as if the wounded might become the deceased at any second.

Fifth Brother and Diamond caught up later. When they saw Fang Zheng holding a bloodied figure, their first thought was that the guild leader had snapped and committed a public execution. After hearing the full story, they quickly tried to reassure him while waiting for the ambulance.

“Not shock, just knocked out. He’s awake now but dazed. The wound’s on his forehead and needs stitches,” the doctor, who’d only been inside for five minutes, stepped out of the emergency room. His bloodstained hands against the white coat were horrifying. “Who’s the family?”

Fang Zheng rushed forward. The initial scare and the subsequent worry had left his eyes red-rimmed. “I’ll sign!”

The doctor gave him a weird look. “Sign what? It’s just stitches. Are you the family? Regular thread or cosmetic thread?”

“…Huh?”

“What’s with the blank stare? Answer the question. If we miss the optimal stitching window, it’s on you.”

“No, I mean—what’s the difference?”

“One leaves a scar, the other barely does.”

“…Who the hell would pick the scarred version for their face?!”

At the payment counter, Fang Zheng realized the doctor hadn’t lied—he’d just omitted the second difference.

Beauty comes at a price. TAT

By the time he and Birdy returned from paying, the doctor still hadn’t finished stitching. Knowing it wasn’t serious, the tension had eased. Fifth Brother and Diamond sat on the hallway bench—one resting his eyes, the other scrolling on his phone.

Fang Zheng sighed and joined them. Fifth Brother opened his eyes and yawned. “Still calling the cops?”

Fang Zheng glanced at the emergency room door, the image of that bloodied face flashing in his mind. The thought of that face being dragged away by the police… Damn, that’s just sad TAT

But if he didn’t call the cops, who’d reimburse him? TAT

Besides, this time the thief had picked him—a guy whose ass had more ticklish spots than his pockets had cash. What if next time he targeted someone with actual money? They wouldn’t even know how they got robbed, let alone catch the guy.

After a long pause, Fifth Brother finally saw determination flicker in Fang Zheng’s eyes.

Just as he was about to pull out his phone, Fang Zheng stopped him. “I’ll do it.”

Fifth Brother silently turned away. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was the same tense, excited glint from earlier =_=

The police dispatcher was far more polite than any telecom customer service. By the end of the call, Fang Zheng almost wanted to press the satisfaction rating button. His faith in urban security had skyrocketed.

Hanging up, he suddenly felt something warm press against his face. Startled, he turned to see Birdy holding a peeled boiled egg against his bruised cheek.

“Do you think he imagined stepping on a manhole cover when he hit you?” Birdy’s voice was calm, but his fingers kept rolling the egg over Fang Zheng’s face, back and forth, back and forth.

“Definitely not,” Fang Zheng hissed but didn’t pull away. The warmth actually eased the throbbing.

“Did you imagine him stepping on a manhole cover when you chased him?”

Fang Zheng tilted his head. “Wasn’t it you chasing him when he stepped on it?”

“I was chasing him for you.”

“Oh.”

“Answer the question.”

“How could I possibly predict that? Besides, I’m not Your Uncle—thinking about it wouldn’t make it happen.”

“So if he hadn’t stepped on the cover, he’d have gotten away, and you’d be sitting here with half your face swollen, sulking.”

“……”

“……”

“If he’d gotten away, why would we even be here—ow! I was wrong! Roll it softer! What the hell is this unpeeled one for?! OW OW OW—”

The deputy leader was angry. But amid his own howls and the other’s fury, the guild leader sensed a strangely harmonious happiness and peace.

Not two minutes after calling the police, the emergency room door opened again. Fang Zheng had assumed the stitches were done and all was well—but no. The patient, who’d been wheeled in on a bed, was now being wheeled out on a bed. The same doctor reappeared.

“He’s definitely concussed. We’ll need a full-body scan. The wound will get infected, so he’ll need IVs. Go to the inpatient department to check him in.”

Doctor, that’s not what you said earlier!!

Okay, fine, he’d omitted details again. But leaving out half the story every time wasn’t just a bad habit—it was a disease! TAT

“Problem?” The doctor raised an eyebrow at their hesitation.

“Uh,” the guild leader swallowed, “can we check him in first and pay later?”

“No.”

“But you stitched him up before we paid earlier.”

“Different cases, different protocols. And you looked like someone who’d pay.”

“……”

Okay, he had briefly considered skipping out on the bill. But doctor, are you and Birdy related?!

The few hundred bucks he’d “rescued” from the thief had already been spent on the stitches—and it wasn’t enough, so he’d swiped his card. Now they wanted a hospitalization deposit?! Was this a thief or his mother?!

“Up to you. He stays if you pay, leaves if you don’t.” The doctor shrugged and walked off.

The four of them exchanged glances, unsure what to do.

As the doctor had said, the guy on the bed wasn’t asleep but wasn’t fully conscious either, curled up in a daze. His face, now cleaned up, was pale except for the white bandage on his forehead—the rest was an unhealthy shade of red, as if he might burst into flames any second. Combined with his naturally youthful appearance, he looked absolutely pitiful.

The hospital hallway at night was icy, whether from drafty windows or the constant stream of people. Every now and then, a chill wind would gust through, making everyone shiver.

The second card swipe of the night stabbed the guild leader’s heart.

He’d half-hoped Birdy might pull out his own card and say something cool like, “I’ll handle this.” Turns out, he was way too naive.

How long are you gonna stay mad?! And if you’re mad, why keep swapping out cold eggs for hot ones?! Where are you even getting these eggs?! Are you performing a magic show?!

By the time they finished the paperwork and returned to the emergency room entrance, the guild leader was greeted not just by Fifth Brother and Diamond but also by a smiling officer.

“Hello,” the young cop, despite being in uniform, politely flashed his badge to confirm his identity, then beamed a sunshine-bright, people-friendly smile. “Mind telling me what happened?”

Though the guy looked about his age and had a baby face, the authoritative uniform commanded respect. Fang Zheng instinctively nodded—then suddenly realized the thief and the hospital bed were gone!

“They took him to the inpatient ward,” Fifth Brother explained, noticing his confusion.

“Because the cops came?”

“Because the front desk got word you’d swiped your card.”

“……”

Taking a deep breath, Fang Zheng forced himself to stay calm. Turning back, he gave the officer his best law-abiding-citizen smile…

“Sorry, our department doesn’t have the budget for this. We can’t reimburse you.”

Are you Birdy’s other long-lost brother?!

“Give it up,” Fifth Brother patted Fang Zheng’s shoulder. “You’re just unlucky. Consider it paying to avoid future disasters.”

What else could he do? Fang Zheng sighed and tucked the receipt into his pocket, then looked around. “Where’s the ER doctor?”

Birdy tensed. “What’s wrong?”

Fang Zheng gave him a pitiful look. “My wallet hurts…”