Chapter 176 – The Great (trash?) Ship Sets Sail (Part 2)

[Five Peaks Pavilion YY]

MengPing: “Mount Tai, how does it feel to be a Commander now…”

Mount Tai: “Why don’t you try it yourself?”

MengPing: “…”

Mount Tai: “But there are a lot of guilds I’ve never heard of before.”

Suave: “That’s normal. After the game update…”

Mount Tai: “Even though the accounts and guilds are unfamiliar, their playstyle… feels like veteran players returning to create new accounts.”

Demon Tamer: “What exactly are you trying to say…”

Mount Tai: “I’m saying…”

White Dragon Horse: “DRINK TILL YOU DROP, I’LL FUCK YOUR MOM!!!”

[Skull Island, Coords (80, 129)]

[System] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse has died.

[Flagship] Congratulations to Iceborn Legion Commander ice Iceborn for winning 5 Legion Level Points on Skull Island!

[Whisper] Big H: Are you made of paper? Even a zombie mob can kill you. Fine, you died, but you even handed the reward to someone else. Wasted 5 level points for nothing.

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Damn it, where were you? You just watched me die?!

[Whisper] Big H: On a tree. Who told you not to party with me~

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Were you even serious about inviting me? “If we party up, you have to call me big brother~~” What the hell, are you a pervert? =_=

[Whisper] Big H: It’s just that Greatsword left for too long, and I felt lonely, cold, and neglected~\(≧▽≦)/~

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Fuck, why did you have to imitate Milk Mom? Don’t you know every single one of his emotes makes people’s hands itch to slap him?!

[Whisper] Big H: Speaking of Milk is Mom, I kinda miss him. It’s weird he hasn’t shown up at all.

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Instead of worrying about others, worry about yourself. Damn, where did all these guilds come from? Never heard of them before. Now there aren’t even enough mobs to go around.

[Whisper] Big H: The game updated, and a bunch of old players came back.

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: No wonder. Tsk, all of them are tough nuts.

[Whisper] Big H: But it’s kinda… exciting >_<

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: …

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Let’s just avoid Milk is Mom from now on. His contagiousness is too strong =_=

[Whisper] Big H: …

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: By the way, he wouldn’t have actually chosen Easy Mode, right? Otherwise, there’s no way to explain why he’s been so low-key. Even if he’s not spamming World Chat, he’d at least breathe a word or two.

[Whisper] Big H: No way. Everyone’s here for the guild rewards. The higher the difficulty, the better the rewards. Even idiots know that.

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Maybe he just doesn’t play by the rules~

[Whisper] Big H: Then I’ll let you use my head as a chair.

Big H and White Dragon Horse, who had directly chosen Hard Mode and met the entry conditions, didn’t receive any prompts about guild member limits. Naturally, they had no idea about the Ghost Server Legion’s struggle with being “short-handed” for Hard Mode. Meanwhile, the Ghost Server Legion’s officers finally encountered their first “living thing” on Hermit Island and received their first “reward.”

[Combat] Milk is Mom used Zephyr Jinx.

[Combat] Polly used Netherworld Ghostly Claws.

[Combat] Ant Soldier has died.

[Combat] Netherworld Ghostly Claws canceled.

[System] Congratulations to Milk is Mom for winning 2 Legion XP Points on Hermit Island!

“Netherworld Ghostly Claws got canceled because the mob died after my Zephyr Jinx? So your skill couldn’t be executed?”

“Probably.”

“This is the first mob I’ve encountered since creating this account that can be one-shot by Zephyr Jinx…”

“Easy Mode, after all.”

“You call this Easy? This is straight-up brain-dead! It’s an insult to me and you TAT”

“Uh, I think it’s fine.”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

“Going to the bathroom to calm down.”

Friendly Reminder: 100 Legion XP Points = 1 Legion Level Point; 100 Legion Level Points = 1 Legion Level Up. In other words, if our Milk is Mom Commander suddenly decides to contribute to the guild—say, raising the guild level by 1—he’d need to cast Zephyr Jinx 5,000 times.

The bathroom, colloquially known as the “Five Grains Reincarnation Chamber,” is an excellent place to sort out one’s thoughts. The Ghost Server Commander’s train of thought and emotions were refined and elevated in the cyclical flow of nature—many difficulties can be resolved by changing one’s perspective. For example, don’t think of these skeleton soldiers as mobs; think of them as sunflower seeds. Crack open 5,000, and the guild levels up. No pressure at all~\(≧▽≦)/~

When he returned to his seat, Birdy was already soloing skeleton mobs. Fang Zheng opened the Legion XP Points panel and saw that, in just a few minutes, Birdy had already cracked half a pack of “seeds” and was still tirelessly spitting out the shells. Suddenly, he remembered the days when Birdy was farming the Golden Hoop—just as monotonous, just as tireless. How long ago was that? It felt like ages, yet also like yesterday. He could vividly picture that silhouette mercilessly farming monkeys, untouched by time, forever cool and composed… Wait, what’s this?

[Megaphone] Polly: .

The megaphone message in World Chat had been sent before the Ghost Server Commander returned from the bathroom. He only noticed it after sitting back down, lost in nostalgia. Birdy posting a megaphone was about as likely as Deadleaf turning over a new leaf, so it startled Fang Zheng when he saw it. What baffled him even more was the content: “Why did you post a period in the megaphone?”

Meng Chudong didn’t even look up: “Misclick.”

“Oh.” That explanation made sense.

Relieved, Fang Zheng resumed controlling his healer, moving forward. Little Zombie also sheathed his weapon after finishing off an aggressive skeleton soldier, ending combat mode—their goal was to reach Pier 23 as quickly as possible, following the map. They’d clear mobs along the way if necessary, but if the mobs didn’t provoke them, they wouldn’t go out of their way to attack. After all, the 1 or 2 XP points were negligible. Completing the “Assembly” task was the priority, as it would end “Easy Mode” and allow them to reunite with their Hard Mode comrades on Skull Island, experiencing the truly exciting parts of this expansion.

Despite their resolve not to fight, two or three skeleton soldiers still had the audacity to show off in the next half-minute. Fang Zheng naturally didn’t hold back, cycling through Willow Leaf Blade and Five Animals Play, one-shotting skeleton soldiers left and right. World Chat dutifully congratulated him over and over again.

Just as Fang Zheng was starting to get used to the sight of those 2-point notifications, the megaphone’s lone period was replaced by an unharmonious new message—

[Megaphone] Deep Mountain Old Well: ♪ Hand in hand, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps, gazing at the sky~ ♪ Watching XP points, 1, 2, 3, 4, connecting into a line~ ♪

A strange sense of familiarity washed over the Ghost Server Commander.

Had Deep Mountain Old Well used any other method to subtly mock him, Fang Zheng’s intellect might not have caught on. But of all things, the guy had to sing. Motherfucker, when I was the king of megaphone karaoke, you were still chopping trees in the starter village!

In terms of sleaziness, the Ghost Server Commander might have hesitated, wondering if there was someone even worse out there. But when it came to love song duels, he had a repertoire as thick as a phone book, with hundreds of “grass mud horses” galloping across his fingertips. The crisp clatter of the keyboard turned into neat lines of text, smooth as flowing water, all in one breath—just waiting for the Enter key…

Wait!

His finger was already on the Enter key, but at the last moment, Fang Zheng hesitated. He suddenly remembered Birdy’s strange “.” earlier.

He moved his hand from the keyboard to the mouse. The pinned megaphone only showed the latest message, but as he scrolled up, more and more historical messages surfaced—

[Megaphone] Divine Strategist: Is Hermit Island Easy Mode? Hey, Easy Mode friends, can you see this—

[Megaphone] Deep Mountain Old Well: Even if they see it, they wouldn’t dare respond. Only 2 XP points? Might as well not give any, hahaha.

[Megaphone] Little Willow: Guilds with fewer than 30 members can only choose Easy Mode. It’s a game setting—nothing to be ashamed of.

[Megaphone] Trick or Die: Holy Light Sanctuary, you sure know a lot. Why don’t you show some sportsmanship and join Easy Mode? At least you’d add some combat power. Otherwise, how long will it take them to grind with just 2 points at a time?

[Megaphone] Ice on Fire: Just drop it. Haven’t you noticed they’re not responding despite all your noise? Besides, it’s likely we won’t even cross paths with them by the end of this expansion. Instead of bullying the weak, focus on the present. What’s fun about a one-sided fight? A fair match is where the thrill is.

[Megaphone] Big H: How can you be so sure they’re weak? Let me tell you, Huaxia Summit has no weaklings!

[Megaphone] Big H: Milk is Mom, Milk is Mom, what are you doing? How can you stay silent after being dissed like this? Do you know I’ve already bet my head as a chair for you?!

[Megaphone] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: If he saw this, there’s no way he wouldn’t respond. Maybe something’s up—someone else is playing his account?

[Megaphone] Polly: .

The period at the end of Birdy’s sentence was both a response and a conclusion. Big H and White Dragon Horse didn’t speak up again—their camaraderie, cultivated through playing on the same server, had already allowed them to understand the Ghost Server Deputy Commander’s meaning: First, the healer isn’t here; only Polly is playing right now. Second, stop wasting time with useless talk; I’m in a bad mood.

Milk Mom might be easy to tease, but messing with the bird requires caution =_=

Unfortunately, the other new companions weren’t in the loop, so the peace only lasted half a minute before the temptation of the next round of “2 points, 2 points” spam lured the restless Deep Mountain Old Well into breaking it again.

“Why didn’t you tell me there was so much spam over there?” the now-enlightened Sherlock Zheng frowned and complained. “No wonder you typed wrong—and even used a Megaphone.”

With the truth out, Birdy had nothing left to hide: “What’s the point of looking at troll spam? It just ruins your mood.”

“So you pushed it all down because you were afraid I’d be upset if I saw it?” Fang Zheng suddenly felt a warmth in his heart…

“I was afraid you’d start arguing with them.”

Is this guy for real?! Is this guy seriously for real?! TAT

“Yes.”

And now you’re eavesdropping on my stream of consciousness too!!! TAT

“Alright,” Birdy patted the fuming Fang Zheng’s head. “Revenge is a dish best served cold. When we get to the Twenty-Third Crossing, you’ll see everyone you want to see—none of them will escape.”

Fang Zheng rolled his eyes. “By then, who’ll even remember who’s who?!”

Birdy tilted his head thoughtfully. “Big H and White Dragon Horse were neutral, so ignore them. Little Willow spoke objectively, so thank him. Divine Strategist started the mess with his big mouth—deal with him. Ice on Fire made snide remarks and had the kind of superiority complex you hate the most—crush him. Deep Mountain Old Well and Trick or Kill—show no mercy.”

Fang Zheng: “…”

Birdy: “Did I miss anyone?”

Fang Zheng: “No, I just want to timidly ask… have I ever offended you?”

Birdy: “No.”

Finally, I can rest easy and live a long life TAT

Just as the Ghost Server Legion Leader was thanking the heavens, the Megaphone Channel flashed again—

[Megaphone] Deep Mountain Old Well: ?Hand in hand, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps, looking at the sky~♪ Watching XP 1 point, 2 points, 3 points, 4 points form a line~♪

Fang Zheng: “Am I seeing things, or did he really just spam that again?”

Birdy: “He did it again.”

Fang Zheng: “Birdy, you know what…”

Birdy: “Hmm?”

Fang Zheng: “Trading insults might not be elegant, but it’s seriously fun!”

[Megaphone] Milk is Mom: ?Don’t tease me like this~♪ My face turns into a red apple~♪ Don’t cling to me like a koala~♪ I’m not ready to be your friend yet~♪

……

The World Chat fell silent.

For a long time, it was like Pompeii after the volcanic eruption—everything buried under thick layers of ash.

This wasn’t the first time the Ghost Server Legion Leader had silenced the entire server. The players of Huaxia Summit were all too familiar with this. They could only pray that Deep Mountain Old Well—or any other reckless newbie itching to stir trouble—could restrain their suicidal impulses and not—

[Megaphone] Deep Mountain Old Well: Damn, you finally responded! So you were just busy looking up songs earlier? But the one you picked is kinda disgusting.

Farewell, Deep Mountain Old Well.

[Megaphone] Milk is Mom: ♪So much left unsaid~♪ I endure it to write a song~♪ Let people sing it softly~ remember it faintly~♪ As long as it disgusts you~ it’s worth it~♪

[Megaphone] Trick or Kill: Ugh, what kind of psycho is this =_=

Farewell, Trick or Kill.

[Megaphone] Milk is Mom: Back when you wanted me to power-level you, you called me ‘Your Majesty.’ Now you’ve changed your name, switched servers, and found a big backer, so I’m just a psycho… TAT

[Megaphone] Rain Ceases: Holy crap, what’s going on? You guys know each other?

[Megaphone] Blue Skeleton: Wait, I can’t keep up with this plot twist. Trick or Kill, do you know him?

[Megaphone] Trick or Kill: I don’t even know if they’re male or female!

[Megaphone] Milk is Mom: Then how did you know to use ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ or ‘it’? I know you think Silent Voice is big and great, and I don’t blame you, but you can’t team up with others to gang up on me. TAT

[Megaphone] Blue Skeleton: If you don’t know him, how’d you know his guild is called Silent Voice across two game modes? Pfft, just admit you know each other. We won’t judge. No need to pretend.

[Megaphone] Trick or Kill: God, open your eyes! Someone’s about to die wronged—

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Uh, isn’t it kinda shady for us to be secretly passing info like this?

[Whisper] Big H: Do you even know whose side you’re on? This isn’t a guild war—it’s a server war! Milk Mom is our comrade-in-arms now!

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Somehow, hearing such a passionate line from you just feels wrong.

[Whisper] Big H: He promised me an A-grade material.

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Damn!

[Whisper] Big H: Yeah, I know it’s kinda…

[Whisper] Nicknamed White Dragon Horse: Where’s my share?!

Birds of a feather flock together.

Having vented his anger, Fang Zheng felt much better. Seeing the flood of wails in the Megaphone Channel, his conscience stirred. Jokes were fine, but after a certain point, even he couldn’t keep up the act. So he opened his inventory and used his last Megaphone—

[Megaphone] Milk is Mom: Hello everyone, I’m Polly, Deputy Commander of the Ghost Server Legion. Our Commander had to leave suddenly and asked me to tell you that he doesn’t know Trick or Kill—it was just a joke. Also, this is my last megaphone. See you at the Twenty-Third Crossing. Mwah!~~

Mount Vesuvius erupted once more.

This time, the lava flowed longer and farther.

Six or seven minutes later, a few brave souls—or those still seething with indignation—struggled out of the molten rock, howling like survivors of a disaster—

[Megaphone] Trick or Kill: What kind of freak is this guy ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

[Megaphone] Silent Hill: Insidious, did we just get trolled?

[Megaphone] Insidious: Commander, yes.

[Megaphone] Silent Hill: Polly, I’ll remember you.

[Megaphone] Jigsaw: Commander, the one you should remember is ‘Milk is Mom.’

[Megaphone] One Night Resurrection: The Commander’s spirit isn’t in the words—you have to feel it with your heart!

[Megaphone] Dragon Wonton: You guys have a lot of sub-guilds, huh? Must be a big operation.

[Megaphone] Silent Hill: Flattered.

[Megaphone] Don’t Stop the Meds: Are you all horror movie fans? (⊙o⊙)!

[Megaphone] Left Eye Sees Ghosts: Oh no, Commander, we’ve been found out.

[Megaphone] Don’t Stop the Meds: I love horror movies too! Have you seen Devil? That old lady was insane!

[Megaphone] Insidious: Of course! Western horror films have really stepped up their game lately…

[Dutch Chamber of Commerce YY—Officers’ Meeting Room]

Rain Ceases: “I feel like the topic has been steered into a weird direction by Boss Yao…”

Scholar Lu: “Boss Yao has two completely different personas when dealing with allies vs. outsiders =_=”

War of the Gods: “Don’t you think, in a way, that Milk Whatever guy just now had a similar vibe to Boss Yao…?”

Mocha: “I knew the name Polly looked familiar! He’s from the Ghost Server Legion! Thousand Mountains fought him when he crossed over to the Summit Server from the Dimensional Rift!”

Little Willow: “Who won?”

Mocha: “It didn’t finish. Thousand Mountains said his power cord got chewed up by his dog.”

War of the Gods: “Damn, can you get any lamer?!”

Mocha: “But he said even if it had continued, he wasn’t sure he could’ve won.”

Little Willow: “That zombie is that strong??”

Scholar Lu: “If the Deputy is that strong, does that mean Milk is Mom is really on Boss Yao’s level?”

Mocha: “You all know the Ghost Server Legion was super popular on the forums a while back, right? Our guild even had a posting war with them. After that, Thousand Mountains kept trying to challenge them for a rematch, but always failed. So I asked him directly—is their guild really as strong as the forums say?”

War of the Gods: “What’d he say?”

Mocha: “The Deputy is really strong.”

War of the Gods: “What about the Commander?”

Mocha: “He refused to comment.”

Scholar Lu: “…”

Little Willow: “Hey, War of the Gods, maybe you should consider changing your ID. People might think you’re from the Flame of the Gods server. Look at their guild’s IDs—Fist of the Gods, Angel of the Gods, Mouse of the Gods… You’d fit right in.”

Rain Ceases: “Is seamlessly derailing conversations into weird directions our guild’s tradition…?”

Just as the players on Skull Island were stealing a moment to enjoy the midnight gossip, the once-peaceful Hermit Island slowly darkened under gathering shadows. At first, Fang Zheng received party invites—after all, the Ghost Server Legion Leader’s megaphone spectacle had been broadcast to the entire Flagship. But Fang Zheng was perfectly content with his two-player world with Birdy, and he couldn’t fathom why anyone would need a party just to fight skeleton soldiers. So he ignored them. But soon, players on Hermit Island started spamming World Chat for parties—first one, then two, then three, until more and more IDs sprouted like bamboo shoots in the once-silent desert of Hermit Island.

Fang Zheng: “What’s going on?”

Meng Chudong was about to sarcastically suggest that maybe the Hermit Island players were throwing a party out of sheer boredom when he got a message from an acquaintance—

[Whisper] War-Snow Wolf: Where are you guys? Haven’t run into the Skeleton Army yet?

In Meng Chudong’s impression, Snow Wolf had always fallen into the “not-friendly” category. He was sure the other guy felt the same. So the only explanation for this outreach was that they were facing an emergency—like, say, the Skeleton Army.

[Whisper] Polly: We’ve only seen scattered skeleton soldiers, no army.

[Whisper] War-Snow Wolf: Your coords?

[Whisper] Polly: 13,14

[Whisper] War-Snow Wolf: Ugh, you’re already at the coast—why aren’t you moving forward? Even the stragglers have caught up. Are you two just picking a spot to date or what?!

[Whisper] Polly: You didn’t see the megaphones?

[Whisper] War-Snow Wolf: Oh, sorry, I forgot your other half was just wreaking havoc on the megaphones. Honestly, I have nothing against gays, but your taste… What do you even see in him?”

[Whisper] Polly: Ah, that’s a long story. Back when we were still on Mirage Server, the player base was tiny. The first time I saw him was on Mount Emei…”

[Party] War-Black Gold: Why no response yet? Did Polly reject it? No way, he’s the only sane one in their guild.

[Party] War-Snow Wolf: You’re wrong! That whole guild is full of psychos!!!”