Chapter 21 – The Old and New Healers

[Whisper] Polly: Mount Emei, coords XX, XX, hurry.

Fang Zheng hadn’t expected Polly to be online in the evening. He’d just spent the entire afternoon playing the delicate damsel on Huaxia Summit, and his balls ached from the act. Returning to Mirage Server was simply to catch his breath. Sending a private message was purely routine—normally, Polly’s replies were limited to two options: “Mn,” or “Running a dungeon?”

Thus, this unusually urgent reply caught his attention. When he saw the word “hurry,” Fang Zheng immediately understood—Polly was in trouble. Without another word, he sprinted straight for Mount Emei.

During the teleport, Fang Zheng sent a party invite, which Polly accepted instantly. In less than half a minute, Milk is Mom and Polly appeared on the same screen, naturally accompanied by the third party who had caused Polly trouble.

My Blood for Xuanyuan?!

Seriously, you bullied Mad Lad on Huaxia Summit, and now you’ve come back to Mirage Server to bully Birdy?!

Fang Zheng worked himself into a rage just imagining it. Without even getting close, he stood at the maximum attack range and began channeling Crimson Lotus Holy Fire…

Xuanyuan had been waiting to see this so-called “friend” the parrot had mentioned. Before he could even spot the person, however, he was engulfed in an explosion of crimson flames. As a fellow healer, Xuanyuan recognized the skill instantly. He immediately healed himself and then locked onto the enemy, retaliating with the same fireball without hesitation!

Since it was a sneak attack, Fang Zheng had prepared for retaliation. But damn it, how was it that the same skill only took a third of Xuanyuan’s HP when he used it, while Xuanyuan’s counterattack left him with only a quarter of his HP?! That made no sense!

Milk is Mom retreated, jumping out of Xuanyuan’s attack range, and Fang Zheng hurriedly healed himself.

Xuanyuan, however, gave him no time to recover, charging straight at him! Fang Zheng cursed under his breath and decisively stopped channeling to keep running. But after just two steps, he realized Xuanyuan wasn’t chasing him. Swiveling his view, he saw that Polly had somehow intercepted Xuanyuan and was now happily PvPing with him.

Adopting a humble and studious attitude, Fang Zheng stood 20 meters away from Polly and Xuanyuan, carefully observing the fight. He noticed that, in terms of DPS, Xuanyuan was actually on par with Polly—or even slightly higher. Well, he’d almost forgotten—Xuanyuan was a DPS Healer, and with his top-tier gear, it made sense that his output surpassed Polly’s, who was still in Yellow-tier Gear. It also made sense that a single Crimson Lotus Holy Fire had taken three-quarters of his HP. But in terms of skill—at least PvP skill—Xuanyuan was clearly a tier below. Polly was the type who landed every hit without fail, while simultaneously dodging some of the opponent’s skills through positioning or outright interrupting their casts. After a few exchanges, Xuanyuan’s HP had dropped significantly.

But if Polly could handle him alone, why call for backup?

Fang Zheng was lost in thought…

Click! The lightbulb in his mind lit up ~\(≧▽≦)/~

Three seconds later, a gentle golden light streaked across the bloodstained sky, landing on Polly. The zombie’s HP bar…

Didn’t budge at all =_=

Polly, mid-PvP, somehow found the time to type—

[Party] Polly: What are you doing?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Healing you >_<

[Party] Polly: Healing a zombie? Are your tits so bored they ache, or are you overflowing with milk?

[Party] Milk is Mom: ……

[Party] Milk is Mom: THEN WHY DID YOU CALL ME HERE!!!

Polly didn’t answer. Fang Zheng glanced over in confusion and saw that Xuanyuan was down to barely any HP, clutching his chest and panting, while the zombie had stopped attacking.

Fang Zheng gritted his teeth, itching to land the final blow for Polly. But considering they were once longtime guildmates, there was probably some lingering sentiment. He decided not to be the third wheel in their drama.

Seeing that Polly had stopped attacking, Xuanyuan simply sat down to rest.

Polly, however, turned and walked over to the healer.

[Party] Polly: I didn’t call you here to heal me or to PvP him.

[Party] Milk is Mom: The hell? I’m on your side. Did you expect me to help him kill you?

[Party] Polly: Which eye of yours saw us PvPing?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Every single one of my eyes saw it, and that guy’s still sitting there panting.

[Party] Polly: That’s because you hit him with a magic missile first.

[Party] Milk is Mom: ……

[Party] Milk is Mom: STOP RENAMING MY SKILLS RANDOMLY!!!!

[Party] Polly: Heh.

[Party] Milk is Mom: What’s so funny? Then what were you two doing? Flirting?

[Party] Polly: Debating.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Debating what?

[Party] Polly: Whether anyone in Mirage Server would play with me.

[Party] Milk is Mom: OK, got it. Say no more. Watch me.

Fang Zheng was instantly filled with a sense of mission—like delivering charcoal in a snowstorm.

Stepping past Polly, Milk is Mom approached Xuanyuan. Since his character wasn’t in combat mode, Xuanyuan remained seated, not bothering to assume a fighting stance.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Instead of staying put on Huaxia Summit, what are you doing here harassing our Birdy?

Meng Chudong was struck by the phrase “our Birdy,” feeling his soul tremble =_=

Just as he was wondering how Xuanyuan would respond, the latter denied him the spectacle—

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: You attacked me for him?

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: You didn’t even lift a finger when you were PKed to zero!

Fang Zheng was beyond annoyed at being ignored. Without thinking, he started hammering the keyboard—

[Local] Milk is Mom: What, are you the f*cking Jade Emperor’s daughter? Too good to be touched?

[Local] Milk is Mom: Birdy didn’t kill you because he’s too soft-hearted!

[Local] Milk is Mom: If it were me, I’d strip you of all your gear and make you play n*ked!

[Local] Milk is Mom: Damn it! I refuse to believe I can’t type it! N-a-k-e-d!

Meng Chudong had been smoking, pretending to brood, thinking that since the healer had stepped in, he didn’t need to answer that melodramatic question. But the healer’s responses kept getting more and more brilliant, until he choked on his cigarette, coughing and laughing so hard tears came to his eyes.

This Mirage Server might be a ghost town, but damn, the ones left were treasures!

[Local] Milk is Mom: What, cat got your tongue? Guilty conscience kicking in?

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: I was asking the parrot. Not you.

[Local] Milk is Mom: I speak for him. Right now, we’re so close we’re practically one. No need to stand on ceremony.

Having had his fill of laughter, Meng Chudong stubbed out his cigarette.

[Local] Polly: Back then, your guild was hunting me too hard. Didn’t have the time.

Holy shit! Birdy’s playing along perfectly!!!

Fang Zheng grinned like an idiot but typed out something dripping with emotion—

[Local] Milk is Mom: *sigh* You should know that heartbreak is inevitable~ Why cling so desperately to the past~~~

My Blood for Xuanyuan didn’t respond.

Because he logged off.

Instantly.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Uh, I think he’s hurt.

[Party] Polly: Didn’t you just say heartbreak is inevitable?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Well, yeah, but…

[Party] Polly: Stop grinning.

[Party] Milk is Mom: YOU MUST’VE INSTALLED A CAMERA IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!

[Party] Polly: Heh.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Why do you always “heh” =_=

[Party] Polly: I “heh” when I’m happy.

[Party] Milk is Mom: And when you’re not happy?

……

[Party] Milk is Mom: You there?

[Party] Polly: Here.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Then why no response?

[Party] Polly: You asked about when I’m unhappy.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Fine, I get it. But I still have to say I hate it when people go all silent and broody when they’re unhappy, like they’ve been struck dumb.

[Party] Polly: ……

[Party] Milk is Mom: Mm, ellipses are acceptable.

[Party] Polly: ……

[Party] Milk is Mom: But not all the time =_=

[Party] Milk is Mom: Anyway, what did your old guildmate come here for? Just to see if anyone would play with you?

[Party] Polly: Wanted me to go to Huaxia Summit.

[Party] Milk is Mom: And rejoin their guild?

[Party] Polly: Mn.

[Party] Milk is Mom: What the hell is he thinking?! His brain must be smaller than a walnut! Even if you went back, there’s no way you’d stick with them. You’re not a masochist—you don’t enjoy being abused!

[Party] Polly: [Shy]

[Party] Milk is Mom: Birdy, don’t do this. That emoji doesn’t suit you =_=

Meng Chudong stared at the awkward expression on the screen and, for some reason, found it hilarious. Once he started laughing, he couldn’t stop—though he did so silently, shoulders shaking so violently that several people nearby asked in concern, “Boss, what’s wrong?” “Boss, don’t scare me.” “Boss, do you have epilepsy?”

[Party] Polly: Let’s run a dungeon.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Huh?

[Party] Milk is Mom: That’s one hell of a jump.

[Party] Milk is Mom: I thought you were actually considering going back.

[Party] Polly: “Masochist” doesn’t sound good.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Ugh, going back and rejoining their guild would make you a masochist. Playing on your own doesn’t count.

[Party] Polly: Do you want me to go back?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Hell no! If you left, I’d be stuck with Your Uncle all alone. That’s literal hell on earth!

[Party] Polly: Then why try to convince me otherwise?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Just putting on a show of being considerate.

[Party] Polly: Thought so. What dungeon?

[Party] Milk is Mom: Dungeon my ass, recruit first!

[Huaxia] Polly: LFG for dungeons, all classes welcome, any dungeon~~~~~

This guy’s efficiency was always faster than light speed =_=