Chapter 4 – Rematch with Brother Dragon
by Salted FishPolly didn’t forget to change his gear—he simply didn’t have any to change into. Fang Zheng quickly figured it out. Given that the account had been relentlessly targeted by two major guilds, climbing back from level 37 to max level was already an incredible feat. A full set of level 40+ blue gear? If he had been solo the entire time, that would be nothing short of peak skill…
Back in the heyday of Mirage Server, getting a full set of level 55 yellow-tier gear was easier than eating or drinking. The Auction House was flooded with them. Aside from a few specific sets with overpowered stats, the rest were dirt cheap—no, more like “empty soda can” cheap. These items dropped so frequently that running any max-level dungeon would almost guarantee at least one yellow-tier piece, whether it was an accessory or gear. Of course, it was always single drops—never a full set of tops, bottoms, bracers, or leg guards—but after running dungeons enough times, players naturally accumulated everything. Eventually, demand dried up—after all, orange-tier gear was where the real chads were at—until those useless yellow-tier pieces became nothing more than discarded soda cans.
But times had changed.
Mirage Server had been a ghost town for three months. Items listed on the Auction House would automatically delist after three weeks if they didn’t sell, unless the player manually relisted them. But who would bother relisting “soda cans” when they’d already quit the game? Over time, the Auction House slowly emptied out, leaving almost nothing behind.
Fang Zheng combed through the Auction House listings multiple times and only managed to snag a single max-level leather chest piece—yellow-tier, but with lackluster stats—and a yellow-tier necklace that boosted defense. A full gear set consisted of six parts: chest, legs, bracers, leg guards, boots, and accessories. Now, he had two out of six. Great.
[Huaxia] Milk is Mom: Buying yellow-tier leather gear! Any piece, any stats, whisper me~~~
[Huaxia] Milk is Mom: Buying yellow-tier leather gear! Any piece, any stats, whisper me~~~
Milk is Mom was a chainmail class, so most of the “soda cans” he’d stockpiled in his warehouse were chainmail gear. Since he usually ran dungeons with random parties, loot—whether good or bad—was always rolled for by class, meaning he rarely picked up gear for other classes. His Life Skill was weapon and accessory crafting, so if Birdy needed a staff, claw weapon, necklace, or earrings, he could forge them himself. But when it came to armor? He was out of luck.
No matter how much Milk is Mom shouted in the desolate wasteland of Mirage Server, nobody responded.
After spamming for a while, Fang Zheng was on the verge of giving up.
Then, unexpectedly, a familiar name popped up in his private messages—
[Whisper] Mad Lad: I thought you’d be in Huaxia Summit by now.
Ugh, this guy really cared about the money he’d spent, huh?
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Ohoho~ Our company has a sales department and a tech department. Sales handles business, tech handles leveling. I’m in sales, you see~
Mad Lad fell silent for a long time.
Fang Zheng wondered if his “ohoho” had been too lethal.
[Whisper] Mad Lad: Stop spamming. I have a full set of yellow-tier leather gear.
The client finally spoke again, but the topic had taken an odd leap.
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Seriously?
[Whisper] Mad Lad: Teasing you would be boring.
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: =_=
[Whisper] Mad Lad: Guanyan Cave Leather Armor Set. Want it?
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: As long as it’s max-level yellow-tier leather. How much?
[Whisper] Mad Lad: It’s worthless. Name your price.
The client wasn’t lying—this leather set really was worthless. On the Auction House, it’d go for at most 300 Huaxia Coins. But scarcity drives value. Since he was the only one selling now, the price couldn’t be set at “soda can” rates.
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: 500.
[Whisper] Mad Lad: Convert that to RMB.
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: At most 5 yuan, why?
[Whisper] Mad Lad: Deduct it from the leveling fee.
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: ……
Dammit, that’s a business expense! This is personal! Wouldn’t it feel weird transferring 395 yuan instead of 400?! Really?!
The client clearly didn’t care. He took action immediately.
Fang Zheng watched as a Huaxia Courier materialized before him, his combat power utterly shattered.
This guy was a real tycoon. No doubt about it.
After collecting the yellow-tier gear, the courier vanished, and the client didn’t send any more whispers. Fang Zheng, his mind buzzing with frustration, returned to Mount Emei.
His party with Polly had long since disbanded, but it was obvious—he’d guessed right. Birdy was still farming monkeys.
Do you have some kind of vendetta against monkeys? =_=
[Local] Milk is Mom: Stop farming. Come get your gear.
[Local] Polly: ?
[Local] Milk is Mom: The yellow-tier gear. I’ve been shouting all over the server. Didn’t you see?
[Local] Polly: I saw. What does that have to do with me?
[Local] Milk is Mom: Can you come over so I can kill you? ^_^
[Local] Polly: I’m coming.
Fang Zheng choked on his biscuit. Suddenly, he completely understood the feelings of Five Peaks Pavilion and even Huaxia Dominion! This guy deserved to be killed a hundred times over! A hundred!
Could Milk is Mom beat Polly? The answer was obviously no. Would Polly stand still and let himself be hit? Even a fool wouldn’t believe that. So, after watching Polly walk right up to him, Milk is Mom wisely chose to hand over the gear as a gift.
Polly didn’t accept it right away.
[Local] Milk is Mom: Take it. Let’s go again.
[Local] Polly: Not afraid of getting one-shot again?
[Local] Milk is Mom: Might as well. I’ve got nothing better to do.
Polly was moved by his “sincerity.”
Players on a deserted ghost server might be sad, irritable, melancholy, or listless, but they all shared one collective trait—bored out of their damn minds.
The Guanyan Cave Leather Armor Set was originally designed to look like a tiger-skin skirt, giving off a wild, primitive vibe. But clearly, the “bored out of his damn mind” Mad Lad had customized the appearance of this leather set—which he couldn’t even wear himself—into something else. Thus, after equipping it, the zombie now looked sharp in a sleek suit, complete with a set of adamantium claws on his left arm. Truly mesmerizing.
[Local] Milk is Mom: Sure you don’t want to change weapons?
[Local] Polly: I have a level 22 staff in storage.
[Local] Milk is Mom: Fine, keep cosplaying Wolverine then.
Cutting the small talk, the two headed back to Heavenly Lake.
Polly was surprised the healer had teamed up with him again and had actually managed to get a full set of max-level yellow-tier gear in such a short time. Either this guy was extremely confident in himself, Polly thought, or he was extremely confident in Polly’s zombie. Because even if you were bored out of your damn mind, nobody would willingly rush to their death.
Milk is Mom believed there was a chance to take down the boss—with just a healer and a zombie.
[Party] Polly: Get on YY. 4876XXX.
[Party] Milk is Mom: ?
[Party] Polly: Listen to my commands.
[Party] Milk is Mom: You’re serious?
[Party] Polly: If you trust me, get on.
[Party] Milk is Mom: ……Your credibility was just one-shot earlier!
Despite his complaints, Fang Zheng still logged onto YY. Who knew what insights this former top-tier PvP expert had? Picking up a trick or two wouldn’t hurt.
Just as Fang Zheng joined the YY channel, Milk is Mom and Polly plunged into Heavenly Lake once more.
“Don’t attack the boss this time. Just heal me.”
Fang Zheng froze, momentarily unable to tell if the voice in his headphones was in-game sound effects or an actual person speaking live.
“Hey? Can you hear me?”
Polly’s voice was slightly deep, carrying a hint of detachment and impatience.
“Oh, yeah. I can.” Fang Zheng snapped out of it and quickly replied, but another question immediately occurred to him. “I can’t heal you well, though.”
Zombies resisted healer skills. That was a rule.
“There’s a 10% chance it’ll work. But even if it doesn’t, it’s fine. I’ll use potions. Just don’t deal damage.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. That way, we can stabilize aggro. Once the boss is at half health, you can start DPSing. Otherwise, if you pull aggro, you won’t survive.”
OT—or overtaunting—meant the boss would stop focusing on the tank and switch to attacking other, squishier classes.
Sure, a healer like him couldn’t tank, but… were they sure a zombie could?
Fang Zheng kept that thought to himself, planning to bring it up only if his teammate got one-shot by the boss again.
The boss was still in the same spot as before. Clearly, after killing the two intruders, no one else had bothered it. The two quickly found it, and this time, Polly didn’t hesitate—he charged straight in and engaged!
Fang Zheng didn’t dare slack off. He immediately cast a +10% defense buff on Polly, then fixed his eyes on the zombie’s HP bar.
Brother Dragon hadn’t learned any new tricks. Its first move was still Lava Fury!
This time, Polly survived—his HP bar dropped to a third but didn’t empty. Milk is Mom quickly tossed him a Revival of the Withered. Whether it was his own luck or Polly’s insane RNG, the heal actually landed on the first try, instantly refilling Polly’s HP bar. Encouraged, Fang Zheng followed up with Trickling Stream, an AoE1Area of Effect heal that was slow but provided continuous HP recovery over 30 seconds. Unfortunately, luck didn’t favor them this time—Polly resisted it.
Zombies had only a handful of attack skills: Netherworld Ghostly Claws, Hellfire, Specters and Ghouls… Polly’s skill rotation wasn’t anything special—he just used whatever came off cooldown—but his positioning was slick. He actually dodged two out of the boss’s five-hit combo after the first attack. This gave Fang Zheng enough time to cycle through nearly ten healing spells, one of which—an insta-heal2insta- is short for “instant”. A skill that lands instantly and doesn’t need any casting time.—actually landed, buying Polly time to recover his potion cooldowns.
Apparently, even the zombie was pleasantly surprised by the heals, because for the first time ever, YY delivered a rare compliment.
“Not bad, healer.”
Pfft, Fang Zheng had been a healer since day one. Professional, thank you very much.
“You flatter me, you flatter me.” Feels good to be humble.
“But you don’t need to mix things up so much. Most of it gets resisted anyway. Until the boss is at half health, just spam Silent Nourishment and Old Tree Blossoms. No need for anything else—like that HoT3Heal over Time. Trickling Stream, in this case, which provides continuous heals over a period of time.. Pointless, just wastes MP.”
He had Silent Nourishment, but…
“Uh… what’s Old Tree Blossoms?”
“A healer skill. You didn’t learn it?”
“Impossible. I’ve learned all the healer skills. Wait—do you mean Ten Thousand Blossoms?”
“Is that a single-target heal?”
“No, it’s a big AoE insta-heal.”
“Then that’s not it.”
“Then what is it?!”
“I told you—a single-target heal!”
“The only single-target heals I have are Silent Nourishment and Revival of the Withered!”
“Oh. My bad. I meant Revival of the Withered.”
“……”
Revival of the Withered [Trees]…
Old Tree Blossoms4Can also be read as “Blossoming of Old Trees”…
Polly, dude, are you here to play synonym fill-in-the-blank?!
After about ten minutes of grinding, Brother Dragon suddenly let out a furious roar. Anyone familiar with the dungeon knew—this meant its HP had dropped below half!
“Healer, switch to your hammer!”
Polly’s command was crisp and clear, but Fang Zheng didn’t need the reminder. He’d already timed it perfectly and swapped to his DPS gear. Before Polly’s words had even faded, he was already swinging his hammer at the boss.
“No more heals. Just go all-out DPS.”
“Got it.” Fang Zheng knew aggro wouldn’t be an issue now—Polly had already dealt over half the boss’s damage, so no matter how much he attacked, his threat wouldn’t surpass the zombie’s.
The only question now was whether Polly could survive. If he died, the boss would naturally turn its attention to the healer.
Despite his doubts, Milk is Mom relentlessly hammered Brother Dragon with one attack after another—Zephyr Jinx, Willow Leaf Blade, Five Animals Play…
Without heals, the zombie’s HP dropped rapidly, but every time it neared critical levels, Polly would chug a potion to recover. This cycle repeated several times as the boss’s attacks grew fiercer, its HP bar turning the ominous blue of Berserk mode.
Berserk was the boss’s last stand when its HP was nearly depleted. At this stage, they’d usually unleash their most devastating skills.
Brother Dragon’s Berserk skill was Despair’s Ice Blade—a shockwave that instantly wiped out Polly’s HP bar!
Fang Zheng panicked, thinking his teammate had died again, and was about to rush over to resurrect him when he noticed the zombie beginning to chant.
As a physical class, zombies had only one skill that required hardcasting—No Rest for the Dead. This was their unique self-heal—because, well, they couldn’t rely on healers.
Squinting, Fang Zheng saw that while Polly’s HP bar was nearly empty, there was still a sliver left—optimistically, maybe a few dozen HP. Even a level 2 or 3 mob could one-shot him at this point. But since it wasn’t zero, he could still chant No Rest for the Dead.
The problem was, No Rest for the Dead only restored 400 HP. What good was that?!
As Fang Zheng’s mind raced, the chant completed, and his zombie teammate turned to stone.
Yes, Milk is Mom watched as Polly transformed from a living, breathing teammate into a rigid gray statue.
—Solid as a Rock, the zombie’s passive skill. When the class’s HP dropped to an extremely low threshold, the character would petrify, making them immune to all attacks from players, mobs, or bosses. Of course, they also couldn’t attack or perform any other actions—because, you know, they were a statue now.
Fang Zheng hadn’t seen many zombies on Mirage Server, let alone witnessed this god-tier Solid as a Rock in action. It was nearly impossible to calculate HP so precisely—either it wasn’t low enough, or you’d get one-shot before you could react. Who could possibly time it to leave themselves with just a sliver of HP?
But Polly had done it. And with his measly No Rest for the Dead heal, he’d pulled it off.
Holy crap, this skill level was next-level insane!
Brother Dragon continued hurling its Berserk ult at the zombie, but the stone man didn’t budge, and his HP didn’t drop a single point. It was the perfect tank.
Finally, Brother Dragon fell beneath Milk is Mom’s hammer.
The zombie remained petrified.
“You’re not stuck like this, are you?” Fang Zheng was starting to worry.
“Solid as a Rock only lasts ten minutes. Loot the boss first.”
“Can you still roll for loot like this?”
“Yeah.”
Fang Zheng suddenly understood—this wasn’t the first time Polly had used this trick. That’s why he knew the exact HP threshold and even details like whether he could roll for loot.
Could DPS, could tank, excelled at PvP, and was famous.
What the hell was Huaxia Dominion thinking, kicking someone like this out?
Fang Zheng felt a bit indignant on Polly’s behalf—purely from a technical standpoint, of course. No emotional bias whatsoever.
What, with emotional bias?
Well, he’d already said it—killing this guy a hundred times wouldn’t be enough to vent his anger. =_=
Brother Dragon died in frustration, dropping nothing of value. But there would be other chances. It was a good way to kill time.
[Party] Polly: If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving the party.
As soon as they resurfaced, Fang Zheng saw the message in the bottom-left corner of his screen. Checking YY, Polly had already left.
[Party] Milk is Mom: Wanna go again tomorrow?
[Party] Polly: Are you asking me out?
[Party] Milk is Mom: Finish the sentence—asking you to run a dungeon.
Polly wanted to say, “we’ll see,” but then he glanced at his little zombie’s fully suited avatar on the screen and hesitated…
[Party] Polly: We’ll see.
He didn’t like suits. ╮(╯_╰)╭
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