Chapter 45 – Pretending to Be a Couple

After the initial panic, Deadleaf also sharpened her focus, replacing her Rootling with a Lightning Pet, instantly boosting her attack power by several levels. Though City Toppling Beauty was a DPS Healer, she lacked top-tier gear and had to slowly whittle down the Lightning Pet. Fortunately, the onlookers were particularly considerate—none of them interfered, giving her an endless amount of time to fight.

Deadleaf’s eventual defeat was inevitable, but there were always friends who couldn’t stand by and watch—

[Local] Huaxia Dominion Little Sister: You guys are just gonna stand there and watch Sister Deadleaf get bullied? [furious]

The remark was clearly directed at the Huaxia Dominion members present. By then, the fight had gone on for a while, and more members had trickled in after hearing the news—some to watch the spectacle, others to see if they could lend a hand.

But—

[Local] Harry Porret: Sister, it’s not that we don’t want to help, but when women fight, it’s really awkward for guys to step in…

[Local] Suave Not Sleazy: Yeah, way too easy to get caught in the crossfire.

[Local] Carved in Bone: Why beat around the bush? When women fight, men should stay the hell away unless they want to get scratched up.

[Local] Flower Matchmaker: Brother Carved in Bone, I think I’ve found the reason you’re still single. =_=

No one stepped in to help, but Deadleaf wasn’t stupid. While her Lightning Pet held off Beauty, she slowly retreated toward My Blood for Xuanyuan. Fang Zheng didn’t notice at first, but by the time he finally wore down the Lightning Pet and lunged at Deadleaf, he found she’d already hidden behind Xuanyuan.

How despicable! >_<

Halting his skills, Fang Zheng stood firm, facing the despicable pair—

[Local] City Toppling Beauty: We agreed on a one-on-one. Can’t handle losing, so you hide behind a man now?

Deadleaf stayed silent, but Xuanyuan spoke up first—

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: The outcome’s clear. No need to push it further.

[Local] City Toppling Beauty: You’ve done cross-server PvP before. You should know the system only counts a PK as over when HP hits zero.

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: She’ll go level somewhere else later. You can have this spot. Isn’t that enough?

Fang Zheng almost laughed. This was just a damn game, yet Xuanyuan was acting like some chivalrous hero.

[Local] City Toppling Beauty: Who cares about some crappy grinding spot? Fine, I’ll stop—but only if she admits defeat.

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: Fine. On behalf of Deadleaf, I admit defeat to you.

Fang Zheng raised an eyebrow. At least Xuanyuan wasn’t a complete hypocrite.

But sorry, Deadleaf’s aggro was just too high. ╮(╯_╰)╭

[Local] City Toppling Beauty: I’m not done. She has to admit defeat on the World Channel with a megaphone. The message should say: “Huaxia Dominion Legion Leader’s wife, Deadleaf, officially admits defeat to Ghost Server Legion Deputy Leader’s wife, City Toppling Beauty.” Either you or your wife can post it. Pretty generous of me, huh?

Xuanyuan fell silent, probably wishing he could strangle Beauty right then.

To make matters worse, Beauty turned and sweetly asked—

[Local] City Toppling Beauty: Hubby, does that sound okay to you?

[Local] Polly: Whatever makes you happy. ^_^

Birdy-kun was absolutely an Oscar-worthy actor!!

Perhaps realizing there was no winning an argument with a woman, Xuanyuan shifted targets—

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: Polly, I recall you telling me once that a man should keep his own woman in check and not let her stir up trouble.

[Local] Polly: Sorry, in our household, my wife calls the shots. I have to listen to her.

Fang Zheng had no idea how Xuanyuan reacted to that, but he himself was barely holding it together—this was too damn shameless!!

[Local] Polly: Or you could PK me instead, to salvage some dignity for your wife.

Still as vicious as ever. =_=

Fang Zheng almost felt sorry for Xuanyuan. The guy was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Attacking a “helpless woman” like Beauty was out of the question, but broadcasting an apology on the megaphone was even more humiliating. Honestly, he should’ve just embraced the shamelessness from the start—like Birdy-kun, who stole mobs without a shred of guilt or hesitation.

Just as the standoff reached a deadlock, a sudden System Announcement on the Huaxia Channel turned the tide—

[System] War-Black Gold, War-Sister Liuli, War-Bodhi Patriarch, War-God’s Follower, War-Snow Wolf, War-Sorrel have successfully defeated the North Sea Siren!

This system message cut through the drama like a sword, instantly stealing the attention of everyone present—no, not just those present, but likely the entire Huaxia Summit!

Only bosses that had never been defeated before were named by the system. In other words, this was the first new boss defeated on Huaxia Summit since the update! The rewards were obviously substantial, but more importantly—it was just plain cool! After all, a boss’s first defeat was the most valuable because no one knew its weaknesses, no one had strategies, and hell, no one even knew where it spawned!

The announcement didn’t include the boss’s location, meaning it wasn’t an instance boss but an open-world one. Yet while everyone else was grinding mobs to level past 55, these guys had already taken down a boss. That alone was enough for the victors to gloat—

[Megaphone] War-Snow Wolf: Hey, Hawaii, maybe spend less time brawling with your wives and more time killing bosses. Heard Huaxia Summit was a god-tier server, so I transferred here. Tsk, what a joke.

From their IDs, it was clear this was a legion squad. And before the server merge, the Item Mall had indeed sold server transfer items—expensive as hell, but for players who genuinely wanted a more exciting server, it was worth the cost.

With such blatant provocation on the megaphone, the natives of Huaxia Summit weren’t about to let it slide. Soon, megaphone messages flooded the channel. Huaxia Dominion, of course, was the primary target, but Five Peaks Pavilion and Meteor Blitz also jumped into the fray, turning the channel into a battlefield.

Meanwhile, outsiders like the Ghost Server Legion were the most relaxed.

Fang Zheng was stuck in a stalemate—the despicable pair refused to admit defeat, and he couldn’t brute-force his way past Xuanyuan’s imposing figure. He could team up with Birdy, who’d definitely cooperate, but then Xuanyuan’s DPS Healer would step in, and who knew who’d come out on top.

So War-Snow Wolf’s megaphone message, which diverted everyone’s attention, was a godsend.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Now’s our chance?

[Whisper] Polly: Retreat.

Turns out Birdy-kun’s mind-reading skills weren’t limited to Milk is Mom—they extended to everyone. ╮(╯_╰)╭

On the way back to the safe city via Town Portal, Birdy sent a party invite. Fang Zheng accepted and saw that Crossplayer’s Blessing was also in the party. The moment he joined, Crossplayer extended an olive branch—

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Beauty, you should join our legion!

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Birdy, you’re so mean—you didn’t even tell us you had a wife!

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: But we’ve been together since logging in. When did you even find a wife?

Fang Zheng facepalmed. Was it really okay for their legion members to be this dense…?

[Party] Polly: Sorry, it all happened so fast, I didn’t get a chance to mention it.

Huh?

[Party] Polly: Wife, thanks for today. Mwah. [kiss]

This was a rip-off! =_=

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Beauty, why aren’t you saying anything?

What was he supposed to say? That he’d borrowed this account to mess with Birdy, only to get teased in return?

Birdy-kun, you can’t just steal Mad Lad’s script like this! TAT

Quickly switching to whispers, Fang Zheng got straight to the point—

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: You don’t even know me, and you’re calling me “wife”?!

[Whisper] Polly: Didn’t know you before, but I do now, wife.

Ever stuck your finger in a live socket? That’s how Fang Zheng felt—tingling from head to toe.

He’d never mock 2B for losing his mind over girls again. Turns out, any straight guy in-game was the same…

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Hold your horses. Aren’t you curious why I helped you?

[Whisper] Polly: Nope. This is a gift from God. Asking too many questions might make Him take it back. Not worth the risk.

Fucking hell…

Fang Zheng suddenly really wanted to call 2B. Come, come witness the God of Flirting in action…

While Fang Zheng was still reeling, Birdy sent a friend request.

Instinctively, Fang Zheng clicked “Reject.”

He’d just wanted to help Birdy out and tease him a little, but things had spiraled out of control—especially since Birdy was taking it so seriously. How was he supposed to back out now? Dude had said more to him in these few minutes than in an entire normal night! If he revealed now that he wasn’t a girl but a guy—and their own legion leader, no less—his shamelessness did have limits, damn it! TAT

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Birdy, why aren’t you adding Beauty to the legion?

Only the legion leader and deputy leaders could add members, so Crossplayer was puzzled when Birdy didn’t immediately add his “wife.”

Fang Zheng steeled himself. The fake wife thing could be explained, but his real identity had to stay hidden. He’d already prepared his excuse—

I’ve admired this expert for so long, I couldn’t help but throw myself at—

Wait, no! I couldn’t help but step in to help!

As for joining the legion? No way. 2B knew this account—joining would be suicide.

Taking a deep breath, Fang Zheng started typing out his carefully crafted explanation. But before he could finish, Birdy spoke up first—

[Party] Polly: She likes her freedom and doesn’t want to join a legion. As long as she’s with us in spirit, that’s enough.

[Party] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Oh, well, can’t force it then. But she’s your wife, so legion or not, she’s family! Haha~~

Fang Zheng tilted his head, baffled by Birdy’s motives. If he was serious about pursuing a girl, wouldn’t being in the same legion make things easier? Unless… he’d already given up…

[System] Polly has sent you a friend request. Accept?

……

In the end, Fang Zheng accepted Polly’s friend request—not because he’d changed his mind, but because the other man was too persistent. He suddenly understood the sorrow of those monkeys on Mount Emei.

While adding Polly as a friend, Fang Zheng also sent private messages to both him and Crossplayer, asking them to keep his name and identity a secret—though the wording was slightly different. To Crossplayer, he said he wanted to keep things low-key with Birdy and hoped the legion wouldn’t find out. To Polly, he made it clear that his reputation was his life—if Polly dared blab to anyone, he’d kill him without mercy!

Crossplayer earnestly promised, swearing that this secret would stay between them and the hundreds of players who had spectated their drama—no sixth party would ever know!

Fang Zheng slumped onto his desk in defeat, only to see Polly’s reply—

[Whisper] Polly: Why would I tell anyone? A wife is meant to be kept at home and cherished.

How had Polly stayed single in Huaxia for so many years? Fang Zheng nearly tore his hair out in frustration. With skills like this, he should’ve had an army of girls following him by now!!

With everything settled, Fang Zheng was about to log off Beauty and call it a day. But before he could say goodbye, another player joined the party. Fang Zheng didn’t even have time to focus—all he saw was a “2” before he frantically clicked “Leave Party” and yanked his desktop’s power cord out in the next 0.01 seconds! The speed and precision of his reaction were so impressive that, looking back, Fang Zheng wanted to kowtow to himself in admiration…

After waiting about half an hour, his patience worn thin, Fang Zheng finally mustered the courage to log back into Milk is Mom.

The moment he came online, Birdy sent another party invite.

Fang Zheng’s heart skipped a beat as he nervously accepted, only to find the party included not just Crossplayer, Birdy, and 2B, but also Blood Bull and 438.

[Party] Polly: Healer, get on YY.

Fang Zheng stared at those three words and two letters for a long time before breathing a sigh of relief—he hadn’t been exposed! ~\(≧▽≦)/~

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh~

“I’m here!” Fang Zheng chirped as soon as he joined the voice channel.

Crossplayer’s Blessing was puzzled. “Leader, why are you so happy even though you’re late?”

“Uh, the game updated, haha~~” Fang Zheng quickly changed the subject. “So, what’s the plan? Where are we grinding?”

“Not grinding. We’re hunting.”

It was Birdy who answered, but for some reason, his voice sounded lighter than usual—almost… happy?

Truly, the power of a girl, Fang Zheng mused. But then his eyes caught a subtle change in Refined Into a Demon’s name in the party list.

What was once Refined Into a Demon 438 had become Refined Into a Demon 715.

“438, why’d you change your suffix?”

“Told you everyone would ask,” 2B chimed in, amused. “He insisted he’s the Demon King, so he changed it to Ghost Festival—July 15th.”

…That’s not the point at all!

Thankfully, Polly stepped in: “His ID was taken. He created the account first, so he didn’t have to change it, but he did anyway.”

Fang Zheng completely understood the Demon Refiner’s feelings.

But it only deepened the mystery…

Who the hell would name themselves Refined Into a Demon 438?!?!