Chapter 68 – Mad Lad Arrives

Since he had gone to bed early, Fang Zheng woke up at 8 a.m. the next day. When he logged in, Huaxia Summit was eerily quiet. The desolate Marketplace had only Diamond Seller sitting there, mechanically waving at the empty street. Normally, this guy would just exchange a few casual words with Milk is Mom without even moving his butt, but this time was different—he sprang up, packed his stall, and practically skipped over to Fang Zheng in three leaps!

Fang Zheng, still groggy from waking up, was instantly jolted into high alert, only to realize belatedly—killing and PK weren’t allowed in the Main City.

[Local] Milk is Mom: You scared the hell out of me!

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: [shy blink]

[Local] Milk is Mom: [sweatdrop] You’re not Diamond Seller, are you? You’re a damn account thief!

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: Could you at least switch to whisper chat? =_=

[Local] Milk is Mom: I knew you were up to no good! See, I was right! You don’t even dare use Local Chat!

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: I bring clients, you do the leveling. 20-80 split, take it or leave it?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: See, that’s what I mean—cut to the chase!~~~~~ Almost caused a misunderstanding~~~~~ Well, it’s settled then. 10-90 split.

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: Bye.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Ugh~~ I was joking~~~~ You really have no sense of humor~~~~╮(╯_╰)╭

With the warm-up over, the two got down to serious business.

Ironically enough, one was a full-time mercenary, the other a former freelance hustler—neither was a “proper” gamer, yet they ended up being the people who knew each other the longest in this game. The relationship didn’t usually show, and neither had given it much thought, but once they started discussing business, their defenses dropped like rocks, and their trust skyrocketed.

In just a few lines, they reached an agreement—Diamond Seller would pass along orders and 20% of the prepayment to Milk is Mom. After Milk is Mom finished leveling and handed over the account, Diamond Seller would take his cut from the remaining payment before transferring the rest to Milk is Mom, splitting the transfer fees 50-50. Though the double transfer was a bit of a hassle, this model ensured a smooth division of labor: Diamond Seller handled marketing and payments, while Milk is Mom focused solely on leveling.

With Diamond Seller handing over the first two accounts and the prepayment, the negotiations concluded successfully, and their partnership officially began. Only then did Fang Zheng think to dig for the inside scoop—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Why the sudden side gig? Aren’t you afraid your boss will find out?

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: His IQ isn’t high enough to notice.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: And yet, with that IQ, he’s still your boss…

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: Doesn’t matter what you say, it’s all downhill from here. The game knows it needs updates, but his methods are outdated. Just watch, the company’s gonna collapse sooner or later.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: So you’re stockpiling for winter?

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: Gotta prepare for the cold~~

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Tsk, what a heartless employee~~~

[Whisper] Diamond Seller: This heartless employee was gonna gift you some blueprints as a welcome present~~~~~

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: But he’s a reliable business partner!

By then, the two had already exchanged QQ. Without hesitation, Diamond Seller changed his partner’s nickname to “Swaying Dog Tail” (he’d wanted to write “Swaying Dog Tail Grass,” but the character limit cut off the last word). Fang Zheng, on the other end, remained blissfully unaware. With a solid new income stream, he was already soaring like a happy kite into the bright future ahead.

After parting ways with Diamond Seller, Fang Zheng finally remembered to check his inventory—sure enough, the Staff of Radiance was right there. He immediately equipped it and waved it around, feeling exhilarated from head to toe, like chugging half a can of 7-Up on a scorching summer day. After his little celebration, he really wanted to report his joy (and gratitude) to Birdy, but no matter how long he waited, the guy didn’t log in. Eventually, the Commander’s excitement fizzled out. With a pout, he logged off Milk is Mom and switched to dual-boxing his alts to grind mobs for XP.

By noon, the two alts had reached level 20+. Fang Zheng switched back to Milk is Mom, only to find the Legion still lacking any signs of life. Feeling melancholic, he wandered around to kill time—only to run into Omen, who was soloing a world boss.

No, “running into” implied a chance encounter. This was more like a pie falling from the sky—if you didn’t open your mouth to catch it, you were a certified idiot.

This map was the northernmost region of Huaxia before the update—Mohe. The boss was named Lalu. If you chatted with the local NPCs, they’d tell you this was the name of a monster left behind by ancient human ancestors, meaning “a calamity fallen from the heavens.” Dig deeper, and they’d launch into legends—like how, a thousand years ago, an aurora appeared over Mohe, and Lalu descended along the light, like a meteor. Of course, most players didn’t have the patience to chat with NPCs, especially when it didn’t trigger any events. If you wanted to kill a world boss, you just camped the spawn.

A level 60 player soloing a level 45 Lalu was theoretically possible, but those who actually tried were either supremely confident in their skills or just plain stupid. Omen clearly belonged to the former. When Fang Zheng stealthily circled behind Omen, Lalu still had about a third of its HP left, meaning Omen had already been grinding for at least fifteen minutes. If Milk is Mom hadn’t shown up, Lalu would’ve fallen in another ten minutes—Omen might’ve gotten the materials he wanted with good RNG, or just some pitiful XP if unlucky. But now, Milk is Mom was here, and he shamelessly opened with a Crimson Lotus Holy Fire!

Omen had about half his HP left—enough to tank one hit from Lalu—but Lalu’s Frost Blast and the healer’s fireball arrived simultaneously, leaving the little Assassin with sliver of HP!

Fang Zheng immediately followed up with a Willow Leaf Blade to finish the job, but Omen dodged at the last second, retreating to safety and chugging a Major Health Potion! Fang Zheng rushed after him—along with Lalu. Now with half his HP restored, Omen finally got a clear look at the “old friend” who’d backstabbed him. Mentally cursing Fang Zheng’s ancestors eighteen generations back, he focused on one thing—running!

Fang Zheng wasn’t about to let him escape. He popped a Speed Scroll, dashed ahead, and cut him off! Normally, a healer wasn’t suited for melee combat against an Assassin, but he wasn’t fighting alone—he had Lalu! With the boss and player sandwiching him, Omen was trapped!

[Local] Milk is Mom: Did you think I was fighting alone? Didn’t you see I brought my pet? Hahahaha!!!

Typing didn’t stop him from attacking. As soon as the message went out, Fang Zheng unleashed his ST Attack, Five Animals Play—only for Omen to dodge again, letting the skill hit Lalu instead!

Fang Zheng: (⊙ˍ⊙)

Luckily, the minor skill couldn’t shake Omen’s built-up aggro, and Lalu kept chasing its original target. This time, Fang Zheng didn’t give Omen another chance. He leaped forward, and what followed was inevitable—Omen was ganged up on by player and boss alike, collapsing in defeat. Then Lalu turned to its “battle buddy,” now with barely any health left… and went Berserk.

Fang Zheng wanted to cry but had no tears left. He tried to flee, but Lalu grabbed him, hoisted him into the air, then slammed him down onto its knee—sending him straight to the afterlife.

He knew you couldn’t underestimate world bosses just because of the level difference! Bosses had dignity! TAT

A mere twenty seconds after Omen’s demise, Fang Zheng respawned at the Respawn Point—where Omen was still clutching his chest, Resurrection Sickness not yet faded. But even weakness couldn’t dampen his “joy” at this “reunion”—

[Local] Bad Omen: What a coincidence, you’re here to respawn too~~~~~

Fang Zheng spat blood at his monitor. He’d been bullied, damn it! TAT

[Local] Bad Omen: Honestly, your pet usage was on point. The shamelessness really had my old flair.

And now he was stealing his lines! TAT

[Local] Bad Omen: Hey, wanna join Madhouse?

[Local] Polly: Sorry to interrupt, but… our Commander’s Resurrection Sickness… your doing?

[Local] Bad Omen: Oh, it’s you. Another familiar face. But this time, it really wasn’t me. Ask him if you don’t believe me.

Fang Zheng had no idea where Birdy had come from. Stunned, he watched as Birdy turned to him, clearly expecting confirmation.

As an honest young man, Fang Zheng naturally told the truth—

[Local] Milk is Mom: You didn’t kill Boren, yet Boren died because of you¹Famous line from the Jin Shu (Book of Jin), lament of Wang Dao. Wang Dao failed to defend his friend Zhou Boren from political intrigue due to a misunderstanding, leading to Boren’s execution. Wang Dao later discovered Boren had secretly helped him and was filled with remorse.~~~~~~~

Omen, now framed, didn’t mind. He cared more about—

[Local] Bad Omen: Is it really appropriate to say that with tildes? =_=

Birdy-kun had only one question. Satisfied with the answer, he took two steps back—

[Local] Polly: OK, got it. Carry on.

Fang Zheng: (╯°□°)╯

Carry on with what? If he dared say, “Sure, I’ll join Madhouse (*^__^*)” right in front of his Deputy, Birdy-kun would probably drag him by the collar and toss him into the real-life version of that place. Don’t ask why—this was Fatty’s mystical intuition at work!

[Local] Milk is Mom: Omi, I’m flattered, really, but I think you should dissolve that illegal organization before the GMs shut it down for you.

Omen, at his computer, had just taken a sip of cola. Seeing his new nickname, he didn’t spit it out—he choked instead, the soda shooting up his nose. The burn was intense, leaving the digital Omen fully revived while the real-life guy clutched his chest in agony for the next hour…

The Ghost Server Legion’s Commander and Deputy had never heard of sympathy. After thoroughly provoking Omen, they switched to whispers.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Why so late?

[Whisper] Polly: Overslept.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Weren’t you out eating skewers last night?

[Whisper] Polly: ^_^

What kind of answer was that?! Was there some inevitable connection between eating skewers and oversleeping?!

A bolt of lightning struck the raging Commander’s brain—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: It wasn’t just skewers, was it~~~ After eating, you went for some exercise, huh~~~ Hehehehe~~

The Deputy sighed and offered some earnest advice—

[Whisper] Polly: Commander, try watching fewer of those movies that only need two or three actors.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: …

[Whisper] Polly: Let’s go, dungeon time.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Just the two of us?

[Whisper] Polly: Pick an easy one. Don’t you wanna test your new weapon?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I do, but you’ve been MIA lately. What, suddenly free?

[Whisper] Polly: Yep.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Wait, so there was something going on!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I knew you disappearing like a ghost meant trouble! Spill—did you fall for some pretty boy, went all out chasing him, failed, and only then remembered to return to the warm embrace of the Legion?

[Whisper] Polly: Well…

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: The truth.

[Whisper] Polly: Fine. You got half the beginning right.

The beginning? And only half?!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: So it wasn’t falling for someone but something else?

[Whisper] Polly: No, it was definitely falling for someone.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Then what did I get wrong?

[Whisper] Polly: Had nothing to do with a pretty boy.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: …

The Ghost Server Legion Leader had always assumed his Deputy was the type to be vicious to outsiders but endlessly gentle with loved ones—wasn’t that the whole “cold outside, warm inside” trope? The best side reserved for the most precious people… Oh, how wrong he’d been! This guy treated outsiders like an autumn gale sweeping away dead leaves and loved ones like a blizzard from the northwest—fairly equal treatment, damn it!!!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Hey, we’re pretty close by now. Be honest with me.

[Whisper] Polly: Sure.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Are you a top or a bottom?

Meng Chudong, at his computer, froze.

The girl who’d just brought him lunch glanced at the chat window—and also froze.

His brain: Did this guy switch chats mid-conversation or something?

Her brain: Boss! Get over here! The Deputy’s arranging a hookup with his teammate!!!

After a long silence, the Legion Leader had an epiphany—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Uh, maybe that was too direct. Don’t be shy, I get it—bottoms gotta be more reserved, right? Hehe~~~

The girl, already walking away, missed the second message—only catching the Deputy’s darkening expression from afar…

Fang Zheng, now convinced he’d uncovered his Deputy’s little secret, was thrilled at how much closer they’d become. Later, they hopped on YY to run a dungeon together. The run went smoothly, though nothing good dropped. During the session, Fang Zheng told Birdy about his new partnership with Diamond Seller.

Birdy didn’t say much, only asking, “So how much can you make a month like this?”

Fang Zheng did the math on his fingers. “If I go all-out, over 5K, but I’ll only spend half my time on it—I still wanna play my main. So around 3K. The partnership just guarantees steady business, and I don’t have to hawk my services on the streets anymore. Less hassle.”

Birdy pressed, “What about long-term plans?”

Fang Zheng frowned. “Long-term? Haven’t thought about it. Go with the flow, I guess. Heaven won’t starve a blind sparrow.”

Just as Birdy was about to say more, Fang Zheng’s phone rang—an unfamiliar landline number.

Puzzled, he answered, “Hello?”

There was a delay on the line. For several seconds, all Fang Zheng heard was background noise. Just as he was about to hang up, a familiar, lazy male voice came through:

“Hey, little brother, I’m here~~ Is your place closer to the South Station or North Station?”

Fang Zheng’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open as his entire being froze in a state of… well, words fail. Just refer to the famous painting The Scream.

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  Famous line from the Jin Shu (Book of Jin), lament of Wang Dao. Wang Dao failed to defend his friend Zhou Boren from political intrigue due to a misunderstanding, leading to Boren’s execution. Wang Dao later discovered Boren had secretly helped him and was filled with remorse.