Chapter 70 – Chaos

How long would Fatty’s gloom last?

The Ghost Server Legion Leader would tell you—about the time it takes to smoke a cigarette.

But gloom comes in tiers—there are mobs, elite mobs, and big bosses. Usually, the commander dealt with mobs, where a single cigarette was enough. Today, however, he’d encountered a high-tier elite mob. After finishing his smoke, he had no choice but to continue kiting the damn thing.

He hoped that by the time he got home, the mob would be ground down to death. That’s what the commander thought as he sat on the bus.

Of course, there were differences between vehicles. When picking someone up, he took a taxi, afraid of making them wait too long. But when going home, he didn’t care, so he took the bus—because he knew no one would be waiting in that shabby little apartment anyway.

The bus on this unpopular route was so run-down it could be preserved in a historical museum. The ride was slow but brutally bumpy. Fang Zheng sat in the second-to-last row on a single seat, gripping the backrest in front of him tightly, eyes closed, imagining he wasn’t on a bus but on some amusement park ride—like the “Rolling Pearls” or “Crazy Mouse” he’d loved as a kid. Instantly, he felt that the one-yuan fare was well worth it.

About two-thirds of the way home, his phone rang. It was Xu Di, whom he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Puzzled, he answered the call, but before he could even speak, the other end roared, “Fatty! Come drink with me!”

Fang Zheng’s face darkened. This guy must’ve gotten drunk somewhere and was now venting through alcohol.

Xu Di had a high alcohol tolerance, but just like how it’s often the swimmers who drown, the better one’s tolerance, the more likely they were to get completely wasted. Especially someone like Xu Di, who spent his days entertaining women—repressed for too long, he needed an outlet. But Xu Di’s drunkenness was usually 30% real and 70% an act. Once he’d tormented everyone he could while pretending to be drunk, he’d calm down—or rather, feel satisfied. Often, those who tried to kindly coax him into resting would end up so plastered they couldn’t tell north from south, while Xu Di himself would casually stroll home.

“Drink what? Just go home already,” Fang Zheng said. Normally, he might’ve agreed, but today, he really wasn’t in the mood.

But before he could even finish, the other end exploded: “Are you fucking coming or not?!”

Fang Zheng was baffled, completely unsure how he’d provoked this god of wrath. His already low mood plummeted to rock bottom. “I’m still on the bus, bro. It’s been a long day, I’m seriously—”

He wanted to say “seriously exhausted,” but before the last word could leave his mouth, the other end rudely hung up, leaving only the dial tone in his ear.

Fang Zheng lowered his phone, momentarily dazed. After the daze passed, all that remained was deep exhaustion.

By the time he got home, it was already evening. The sunset dyed half the sky red as a lone bird flew into the clouds, disappearing as if truly burned away by the fiery glow.

As soon as he entered, Fang Zheng headed straight for the bathroom to shower. The showerhead faced the mirror above the sink, and in the reflection, Fang Zheng saw a spherical object. With great difficulty, he had to admit that it was himself. He pinched the fat on his belly, feeling like there was no hope of ever getting rid of it in this lifetime. If only he were taller, Fang Zheng thought—then at least people would call him “stocky” instead of “fat.” The gay community had its share of bear lovers, but no one liked a soft, pale, short fatty.

If he were tall, rich, and handsome—no, forget rich and tall, just handsome would do—maybe his meeting with Mad Lad would’ve gone differently. No, it definitely would’ve been different. That guy had said, “I came specifically to see you,” and Fang Zheng believed it was the truth. But after meeting, those words were never repeated. Even if he truly believed Mad Lad had only come to see the Legion Leader in person, the disappointment in the other’s eyes afterward was unmistakable. It wasn’t that Mad Lad hadn’t tried to hide it—it was just that human emotions were too subtle. If you really paid attention, it was hard not to notice.

Why had he gotten so fat? Fang Zheng was still thinking about this as he stepped out of the shower. He realized there were two main reasons: First, his body type—the kind where, as the saying goes, even drinking cold water would make him gain weight. He had a good appetite and an even better metabolism. He’d been chubby since childhood, with no slim phase in his life. Second, he was a shut-in. Aside from cleaning the apartment, he had almost no opportunities for exercise.

Having identified these two points, Fang Zheng decided he couldn’t just sit around waiting for death. There was nothing he could do about his metabolism, so he’d have to focus on exercise—and there was no “later” for this. He had to start now.

Gou Xiaonian rang the doorbell just as Fang Zheng was on his 152nd squat. The reason he chose squats over sit-ups or push-ups was simple: with the former, he could only lie down but not sit up, and with the latter, he could only lie prone but not push.

“What are you doing here?” Fang Zheng raised an eyebrow in surprise when he opened the door. What kind of day was this? First, someone demanded he go drinking, and now another had just shown up unannounced.

Gou Xiaonian was ushered inside, taking in the tiny apartment in a single glance before his expression turned disappointed. “Xu Di’s not here?”

Figures these two bastards only showed up when they needed something.

Fang Zheng sighed inwardly, closed the door, and walked over to Gou Xiaonian. “He’s out drinking. Couldn’t you have just called him?”

Gou Xiaonian let out an almost imperceptible sigh. “I was with him when he called you earlier.”

Fang Zheng froze, his mind instantly piecing together the most likely scenario. “So you two had a fight, he stormed off, and you thought he came to me?”

Gou Xiaonian didn’t answer, but his expression clearly said, “Bingo.”

Fang Zheng rolled his eyes. “You two never stop bickering. Are you sworn enemies from a past life or something? Can’t stand each other but always end up together. But don’t worry, when has he ever gotten into trouble while drunk? At most, he just torments others.”

Gou Xiaonian lowered his eyes and, after a few seconds of silence, sighed. “I just don’t want him tormenting others.”

This side of Gou Xiaonian was unfamiliar—so much so that something previously unnoticed now seemed on the verge of spilling out.

Fang Zheng swallowed hard, feeling dark thunderclouds gathering above his head. “Don’t tell me you two hooked up, or I’ll lose it…”

Gou Xiaonian rubbed his nose, an uncharacteristically awkward expression on his face.

Crack!

The second thunderbolt of the day struck!

Fang Zheng felt like he’d been thrust into The Scream… Goddammit, just let him black out and never return to this world!!!

Perhaps realizing he’d shocked his friend and wanting to lighten the mood, Gou Xiaonian suddenly asked an unrelated question: “What were you doing earlier? You’re all sweaty.”

“That’s not important!!” Fang Zheng had no energy left to explain his weight-loss plan.

Gou Xiaonian sighed helplessly and found a seat, giving Fang Zheng time to process. After what felt like forever, he finally explained the reason for his fight with Xu Di. It was actually kind of ridiculous—Xu Di didn’t want Gou Xiaonian to keep doing business with men anymore, and Gou Xiaonian agreed, but only if Xu Di also cut ties with all his female clients. Xu Di argued that there was a fundamental difference between serving women and serving men—he didn’t develop feelings for the women, so there was no need to cut them off. The discussion collapsed, and Xu Di flipped the table and stormed out.

Judging by the timing, the call to Fang Zheng had probably happened after Xu Di’s outburst, when he was drinking alone to drown his sorrows.

“Do you think I was wrong?” After finishing his story, Gou Xiaonian sought Fang Zheng’s opinion.

Fang Zheng was conflicted. He felt that debating right and wrong was pointless because, fundamentally, the careers these two had chosen were problematic to begin with!

As they talked, a loud banging suddenly erupted at the door!

Fang Zheng didn’t even need to think to know who it was. Just as he was about to get up and open the door, Gou Xiaonian shot past him like an arrow, beating him to it.

Xu Di outside was clearly wasted. Without even looking, he threw himself into Gou Xiaonian’s arms, slurring, “Fatty, you can run but you can’t hide…”

Gou Xiaonian had no choice but to haul him inside and dump him on the couch.

Perhaps the sudden shift from standing to lying down upset the drunk’s stomach, because the next second, Xu Di leaned over the side of the couch and began puking violently!

The cramped apartment was instantly filled with the foul stench of alcohol-laced vomit. Fang Zheng wanted to die.

Scrambling to the bathroom for a bucket and mop, he returned to find Gou Xiaonian crouched beside Xu Di, gently patting his back. Xu Di seemed to have finished vomiting and was now gasping for breath.

Something in Fang Zheng’s heart twinged—different from the stifling feeling earlier in the day, but just as faint, impossible to ignore yet not enough to be truly painful.

The vomiting seemed to have sobered Xu Di up slightly, at least enough to recognize who was in front of him.

“Why are you here…” Xu Di struggled to sit up, grabbing Gou Xiaonian’s collar as if ready to fight again, but his body was too weak, and he kept sliding down despite holding onto the other.

Gou Xiaonian sighed helplessly, half-coaxing, half-yielding. “Why else would I be here? To find you, of course…”

“I don’t believe you!” Xu Di threw a tantrum. “You must’ve come behind my back to fool around with Fatty, right?! You’ve always known Fatty likes you…”

Fang Zheng clenched the mop handle tightly, resisting the urge to smack it over Xu Di’s head!

Goddammit, he was a professional scapegoat with thirty years of experience!!!

Gou Xiaonian gave Fang Zheng an apologetic look, as if wanting to say something nice on Xu Di’s behalf. But Fang Zheng had no patience left for this nonsense and roared, “What the hell are you looking at?! Get this bastard out of here!”

“The internet was right—guard against thieves, fires, and your best friend…” The drunk asshole continued to rack up aggro.

Gou Xiaonian didn’t dare delay any longer, dragging Xu Di out by force, probably afraid that any more nonsense would trigger Fang Zheng’s ultimate AoE attack…

Half an hour after the two troublemakers left, Fang Zheng received a text from Gou Xiaonian. No explanations, just three simple words:

[Sorry about that.]

By then, Fang Zheng had already cleaned up the apartment and was desperately fanning away the lingering stench of alcohol. Seeing the message, he replied without hesitation:

[Keep him on a tight leash. If I catch him anytime soon…]

The other end sent back a smiley face.

Fang Zheng didn’t reply further.

What a shitty day, Fang Zheng thought as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking and thinking, he eventually fell asleep.

He woke up again at 2 a.m. for no apparent reason, but after gulping down a glass of ice water, he was wide awake. Since there was no way he’d fall back asleep, Fang Zheng booted up his computer. He’d originally planned to log into the two accounts the Diamond Seller had given him to grind, but out of habit, he ended up logging into Milk is Mom instead. Before the character’s sprite had even fully loaded on the screen, a whisper popped up:

[Whisper] Polly: You’re back?

First, Birdy’s speed startled him. He wondered if the game had some hidden feature he didn’t know about, like automatically sending messages upon logging in. Then his attention shifted to the content of the message itself.

You’re back?

What kind of question was that? =_=

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Finished my business, so I came back.

[Whisper] Polly: Did you rent the room by the hour? No overnight stay?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: The ‘business’ was meeting for a meal, not hooking up, dammit!!!!

[Whisper] Polly: Aren’t those three steps part of the same process? Also, Your Sister logged off before midnight.

This guy was bullying him!!!

After suffering all afternoon and evening, this bastard had to come back at midnight to torment him further TAT

[Whisper] Polly: [pats head]

A head pat couldn’t heal the wounds in his heart!

[Whisper] Polly: Did the meeting not go well?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: It was just friends having a meal. What’s there to go well or not?

[Whisper] Polly: Didn’t he take the train specifically to see you?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: …

[Whisper] Polly: Online friend?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: …

Fang Zheng swore that if Birdy dared to guess any further, he’d blacklist him TAT

[Whisper] Polly: Okay, I get it now.

Didn’t I just tell you not to read my mind?!

[Whisper] Polly: Did he go back already?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Yeah.

Probably would never come back in this lifetime, Fang Zheng added silently. Then, remembering something, he suddenly asked—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Birdy, how much do you weigh?

This question stumped the Deputy Commander. After a long pause, he barely recalled his weight from a physical two years ago—

[Whisper] Polly: Around 130-something. ¹The unit is jin, 130 jin=78 kg or 172 pounds

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: How tall?

[Whisper] Polly: 178 cm.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: The hell, are you even a man?! So skinny! A gust of wind could knock you over!

……

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Birdy?

[Whisper] Polly: You seem to be in a good mood. Let’s go grind.

In a good mood?! Where?! Where’s your damn mood radar?!

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  The unit is jin, 130 jin=78 kg or 172 pounds