Chapter 73 – Flower-Fruit Mountain

The boss at the entrance of the Water Curtain Cave was named Sun the Pilgrim, clearly modeled after Sun Wukong. His battle attire and feathered headdress perfectly captured the grandeur of the Great Sage Equal to Heaven. The mediocrity of the Water Curtain Cave map had cemented its unpopularity among players, so even after the level cap increase, it took this long for the newly introduced boss to be discovered.

By the time Fang Zheng and Meng Chudong joined the party, Sun the Pilgrim’s HP had just dropped by a third, but someone from Xuanyuan’s side was already struggling near the brink of death. Xuanyuan’s skills were undeniably strong, but his build was that of a DPS Healer. His gear stats determined that his healing abilities were top-tier but not the absolute best. With a full team, this level of support was sufficient, but now, with just four people attempting to take down a level 65 boss—even if it wasn’t particularly strong—it was a stretch. And this Sun the Pilgrim had “ferocity” written all over his face.

Just as Fang Zheng and Birdy joined the party, the boss unleashed an AoE attack. Xuanyuan had been busy healing others and neglecting himself, leaving his HP below 50%. The AoE hit him hard, nearly wiping out his remaining health. His Insta Heal skill was clearly still on cooldown, so Fang Zheng watched helplessly as Xuanyuan resorted to casting Trickling Stream.

Absolutely desperate. Not only was the skill slow to cast, but even if it landed, it only restored a few hundred HP per second. Did the boss really have the courtesy to wait for him to heal up before attacking again?

In the blink of an eye, Fang Zheng cast Ten Thousand Blossoms on the entire party, followed by Silent Nourishment on Xuanyuan alone—both Insta Heals. Two casts later, the party was back to about 80% HP.

The Ghost Server Legion Leader worked quickly, but the doubts in his mind never stopped. Honestly, he wasn’t particularly interested in the loot from Sun the Pilgrim. If he really wanted good gear, the Ghost Server could just form their own party—no need to compete with others. Well, unless it was a raid requiring more than ten people, of course. So, joining Xuanyuan’s party now was mostly just helping out.

In the world of gaming, connections mattered. Helping others wasn’t a bad thing, but helping Xuanyuan… why did it feel so damn irritating? >_<

[Party] Milk is Mom: Why not just stick to grinding mobs with four people~~~ Trying to push a boss~~~

[Party] Milk is Mom: [Wedding March] Got your ass kicked, huh~~~ Dumbasses~~~ Six-person boss with four people~~~

[Legion] Harry Porret: Fuck, I just sang along with that! Damn it!!

[Legion] Flower Matchmaker: What are you doing, Broom?

[Legion] Carved in Bone: Grinding a boss with the Ghost Server.

[Legion] Flower Matchmaker: Carved in Bone’s there too? Why not call our own brothers for a boss fight?

[Legion] Laugh It Off: Ran into them by chance. Thought four people would be enough, but once we started, we realized we couldn’t hold out. Didn’t have time to call reinforcements, but luckily some Ghost Server folks were grinding nearby, so we pulled them in.

[Legion] Flower Matchmaker: Then why’s Broom mad?

[Party] Milk is Mom: [Wedding March] Out of HP~~~ Dumbasses~~~ Big Commander leading four weaklings~~~

[Legion] Harry Porret: We’re being humiliated… TAT

With the addition of the healer and the zombie, the battle stabilized for the moment, giving Broom some breathing room to retort—

[Party] Harry Porret: Why can’t four people take a boss?! Is four-man boss-pushing a Ghost Server patent or something?

[Party] Milk is Mom: ?

[Party] Milk is Mom: How’d this turn into a Ghost Server thing?

[Party] Harry Porret: Didn’t you guys four-man Zhurong?! I’d say it was just blind luck!

[Party] Milk is Mom: Uh…

What to do, what to do, what should he do now??

The Deputy Commander always appeared when needed—

[Whisper] Polly: Stop bullying the kid. He’s already dumb enough.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Mm!

[Whisper] Polly: Then keep enjoying yourself quietly. Just keep an eye on the boss.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Got it~\(≧▽≦)/~

For a long time after that, the Ghost Server Legion Leader basked in inexplicable joy, as if they really had four-manned Zhurong—proud and triumphant.

The accident happened when Sun the Pilgrim’s HP dropped to a quarter. By then, the six of them had figured out the boss’s attack patterns, and it was only a matter of time before they wore it down to Berserk mode. But just as the boss finished a big attack, another dazzling effect rained down from the sky.

The Berserker’s AoE skill—Bloody Sandstorm!

Fang Zheng, who was mid-cast on Trickling Stream, recognized it instantly and immediately canceled to cast Ten Thousand Blossoms instead! The time difference between the two skills was less than a second. The party’s HP bars first plummeted to near zero, then bounced back to their previous state—all in less time than it took to blink.

[Party] My Blood for Xuanyuan: Watch out, we’re being ambushed!

Honestly, Xuanyuan didn’t even need to remind them. Unless you were as slow as 2B Fighter Jet, you could practically smell the murderous intent in the air with your eyes closed…

Alright, that was just an expression. ╮(╯_╰)╭

As the skill effects faded, five familiar figures appeared in the upper-right corner of the map, about ten meters from the battle zone. Hidden among several fruit trees, their silhouettes swayed gracefully under the rustling fruits.

[Local] War-Snow Wolf: Oh, what a coincidence.

[Local] My Blood for Xuanyuan: That should’ve been said before Bloody Sandstorm.

[Local] War-Sorrel: Just saying hi. No sense of humor.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Sorrel~~~~ Long time no see~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Local] War-Sister Liuli: Those tildes… feel oddly familiar…

[Local] Milk is Mom: Sister Liuli~~~~~~ Oh, and Grape¹The word “Grape” (Putao) is a twist on the first part of Bodhi Patriarch’s ID (Puti Laozu)~~~~~~

[Local] War-Bodhi Patriarch: Why is this guy here too!!!

[Local] Milk is Mom: Means we’re fated~~~ What, here to ambush us again~~~~

[Local] War-Snow Wolf: …

Damn it! If you’re gonna ask sharp questions, ask sharp questions! If you’re gonna act like a noob, act like a noob! Don’t mix and match!!!

To be fair, War Banner was a bit wronged here. Last time, their ambush after a boss raid was indeed unethical. But this was an open-world boss—any party could take a shot at it. First come, first served; latecomers had to fight for it. And when it came to fighting, ambushes or assassinations were fair game.

But that was just in theory. As the Ghost Server Legion Leader, he could call you the reincarnation of Hitler if he felt like it. What could you do about it?

War Banner really couldn’t do anything. If speaking were a piece of gear, they’d be Blue-tier at best, while Milk is Mom was Orange-tier, fully enhanced and gemmed. The shamelessness wasn’t even on the same level. The more they talked, the more damage reflect they’d get—better to just start fighting.

Fang Zheng was still reveling in the joy of a small victory in the battle when a halo suddenly enveloped him, instantly turning him into a swaying cactus.

Xuanyuan didn’t fare much better, getting slashed by War-Six Souls. From the skill effect, it looked like One Cut Kill, but thankfully, it didn’t trigger the instant-death effect—just some HP loss.

War Banner’s strategy was clear—take out the healers first, then the DPS, concentrate their advantage, and eliminate them one by one. And until the enemies were wiped, they wouldn’t touch the boss to avoid aggro switching.

Meanwhile, the small team was already struggling with six versus one on the boss. Now, it was suddenly six versus six. They could’ve paused to deal with War Banner, but damn it, the boss wasn’t stopping! At this point, Sun the Pilgrim wasn’t a boss anymore—he was War Banner’s pet.

[Party] Polly: Xuanyuan, can you handle five versus five?

[Party] Milk is Mom: I’m here, no problem~~~ You just focus on kiting that guy~~~

[Party] Polly: Did I ask you? =_=

[Party] Milk is Mom: [Pouts]

[Party] Polly: [Head pat]

[Party] Milk is Mom: [Happy spinning]

Xuanyuan’s feelings were unknown, but his Huaxia Dominion comrades were losing it—

[Party] Harry Porret: Can you two hold back your passionate feelings for a second and do something useful?!

[Party] Polly: Healer, stop healing. Broom, go die for us, please.

As he typed this, Birdy dashed toward Sun the Pilgrim like lightning, unleashing a dazzling combo!

Even if he hadn’t said it, Milk Mom, currently transformed into a cactus, couldn’t cast healing spells anyway. Xuanyuan was locked in combat with Six Souls and couldn’t spare the attention. So, as the party’s main tank—Harry Porret—his tragic fate was sealed from the start.

The boss only recognized aggro. Even though Birdy was attacking it now, the aggro was still on the tank. So, it kept whacking Porret with its staff. Porret wasn’t made of steel—with the boss in front of him and no healer behind, he quickly became minced meat. As his soul returned to the respawn point, he left behind a roar that echoed through the heavens—

[Party] Harry Porret: I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!

The main tank was dead. Carved in Bone had died once before and was revived late by Fang Zheng, so his aggro had reset. Fang Zheng had worried that even then, the aggro might not shift to Birdy, since he and Xuanyuan, as healers, could also pull significant aggro. But the moment Broom died, the boss turned to Birdy without hesitation. Fang Zheng had to admire Birdy’s skill. Being good at DPS was one thing, but his calculations were impeccable—just like when they first met and fought the Heavenly Lake Monster. To pull off Solid as a Rock so precisely every time—what more needed to be said? It was divine intervention that he’d recruited this guy!

In the blink of an eye, as soon as Porret fell, Birdy dashed to the outskirts of the battle zone. By the time Fang Zheng recovered from Cactusfication, Birdy was already kiting the boss around the mountaintop.

This was their only viable tactic—have one person kite the boss while the others focused on War Banner. Of course, there was still the risk of losing the PVP, but if they didn’t pull the boss away, they’d be getting hammered from both sides—instant wipe.

The skill required to kite a high-level boss needed no elaboration. The boss was soon led out of sight, leaving only War Banner’s five and Xuanyuan, Carved in Bone, Laugh It Off, and Milk is Mom on the screen.

Five versus four—still a disadvantage.

No words were needed. The four split up instinctively, each running in a different direction!

War Banner wasn’t about to let them scatter. They formed an encirclement, blocking every path with one-on-one coverage!

Close combat erupted instantly!

Blocking Fang Zheng was Bodhi Patriarch, landing a Wind-Splitting Slash right on Milk Mom’s face! Fang Zheng dodged frantically, barely avoiding the follow-up Lone Wolf Howl, then leapt back several meters to create distance before hurling a Willow Leaf Blade at the Blood Warrior! Unfortunately, the guy didn’t care and immediately closed in for melee again! Fang Zheng wasn’t about to let that happen and tried to bolt, but no matter how hard he mashed his keyboard, Milk Mom didn’t move. A closer look revealed a string of Zzz’s above his head…

Sleep—a Spirit Master skill, 30 seconds of snoozing.

Damn it! Five versus four, and now one free agent. TAT

Snow Wolf showed no mercy. After Sleep came Phoenix Rebirth! This was a massive AoE nuke. By then, Huaxia Dominion’s trio hadn’t escaped the encirclement either, so when the effects cleared, the party’s already mid-level HP bars were slashed in half again!

Fang Zheng immediately cast Ten Thousand Blossoms, barely bringing everyone back to mid-HP. But when he tried to cast a slower group heal, Bodhi Patriarch interrupted him with another slash! Almost simultaneously, Laugh It Off was incinerated by Sister Liuli’s Crimson Lotus Holy Fire.

Fang Zheng suddenly realized—against War Banner, they weren’t just outnumbered in players but also in skill.

Five versus four became five versus three. The situation was clear. Fang Zheng threw caution to the wind, embracing the spirit of “fear neither death nor dying ugly,” and chugged a potion from his inventory—a freebie from the recent game update!

On-screen, Milk is Mom was suddenly engulfed in thick smoke!

War Banner, confused, assumed it was a new skill and instinctively backed off!

Now! Fang Zheng seized the opening and charged through the encirclement, his body still smoking!

Xuanyuan also seized the moment, blasting Snow Wolf with Crimson Lotus Holy Fire amid the smoke!

The Spirit Master had been too focused on attacking to heal, leaving his HP at half. With his frail defenses, he couldn’t withstand a DPS Healer like Xuanyuan—instant death!

The Legion Leader’s death was the last thing War Banner expected. But even more shocking was when the smoke cleared—Milk is Mom was gone, replaced by a rabbit. A giant, frenzied rabbit…

[Rabbit Lord Transformation Candy]

One of the freebies from the game update. Aside from the fun of transforming, it had no other effects.

The Ghost Server Legion Leader, now a rabbit, was ecstatic—

[Local] Milk is Mom: Come on~~~ Let’s have fun~~~ We’ve got plenty of time~~~~

At this point, the boss was irrelevant. Huaxia Dominion’s most battle-hungry legion had been successfully riled up by a rabbit—

[Party] War-Six Souls: You guys keep fighting. I’m gonna kill that bastard first!

[Party] War-Bodhi Patriarch: Take me with you!

[Party] War-Sister Liuli: I wanna go too…

[Party] War-Six Souls: Sorrel?

[Party] War-Sorrel: Let’s finish off these Huaxia Dominion guys first.

Glancing at the mad rabbit and then at Xuanyuan and Carved in Bone, Sorrel reaffirmed his preference for playing with normal kids. =_=

In the end, Six Souls and Bodhi Patriarch became the Alice duo, chasing after the rabbit, leaving Sorrel and Sister Liuli to deal with Xuanyuan.

Fang Zheng had run off but hadn’t gone far. Birdy was still kiting the boss—he couldn’t just Town Portal out. Plus, transformed, he couldn’t use other potions, so no Speed Scrolls. The two pursuers were closing in, and Fang Zheng, in his panic, dashed straight to the Water Curtain Cave entrance. He’d been inside before—it was full of mobs but had no exit, a dead end. But by the time he realized, it was too late.

No way forward, enemies at his back—this giant rabbit was truly cornered.

Taking a deep breath, Fang Zheng resigned himself to turning Milk is Mom around to face the impending doom. But just as he turned, two familiar figures burst out of the cave!

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: Ah, Commander!

[Local] Little Lucky Charm: Commander? Where? Where?

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: Can’t you see the ID above the rabbit’s head?

[Local] Little Lucky Charm: Holy shit, it really is the Commander! Commander, save us!!!

…Shouldn’t that be his line? =_=

Your Uncle and Your Sister arrived at Fang Zheng’s side at the same time as Six Souls and Bodhi Patriarch. The former only noticed their esteemed rabbit Commander and missed the two hunters behind him. But the hunters were sharp—they immediately spotted Fang Zheng’s backup, so the Blood Warrior and Berserker switched their attacks to AoE.

However, half a second later, when they saw that the cave had spawned not just two Ghost Server members but also one, two, three, four, five, six mobs, they deeply regretted their decision.

Flower-Fruit Mountain had no mercy for tears.

The mobs, hit by the AoE, immediately abandoned Your Uncle and turned on Bodhi Patriarch.

Fang Zheng finally understood the earlier cry for help. But now, it seemed the Commander wasn’t needed. ╮(╯_╰)╭

[Local] War-Bodhi Patriarch: What the hell? One hit and aggro switches?!

Bodhi didn’t run. Against mobs, two versus six wasn’t impossible.

[Local] Little Lucky Charm: I only AoE’d them once, so your DPS is higher~\(≧▽≦)/~

Bodhi didn’t run, so Six Souls naturally stayed to help.

But they overlooked one thing—this wasn’t two versus six. It was nine versus two.

As shameless as the Ghost Server Legion Leader was, he wouldn’t give his enemies a chance. Even as a rabbit, he was still one that could spew Crimson Lotus Holy Fire!

Seeing the Commander attack, Your Uncle and Your Sister immediately caught on. The tables turned. Even if Six Souls and Bodhi Patriarch were pro gamers, they couldn’t withstand a zerg rush—both fell.

Afterward, Fang Zheng teamed up with the “Your” family to finish off the last mob before heading back to support Xuanyuan.

Just as they caught sight of Xuanyuan and Carved in Bone on-screen, both their HP bars bottomed out. But War Banner’s Sister Liuli also went down, leaving only Sorrel at half health.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Hi, Baby~~~

[Local] War-Sorrel: Classmate Hanawa²Kazuhiko Hanawa from the anime Chibi Maruko-chan. He is a rich and popular classmate. I don’t know why he called him that. I loved that cartoon as a kid, but all I remember about him is his signature hair flick., can you answer me one question?

[Local] Milk is Mom: Mm~~~

[Local] War-Sorrel: How’d you manage to pick up two reinforcements while running away? That’s unscientific. TAT

[Local] Milk is Mom: Just good karma from daily life~~~~

[Local] Milk is Mom: But these two aren’t reinforcements~~~ They’re my personal guard~~~

[Local] Polly: Could you maybe chat later?

Forgotten, the Deputy Commander, who’d returned with the boss, had to remind everyone he existed.

He’d brought the boss back after kiting it around the mountain and realizing only Fang Zheng was still alive in the party. But when he returned, the Commander was leisurely bullying Sorrel.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Birdy, keep kiting the boss for a bit.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Your turn. How do you wanna die?

[Local] War- Sorrel: Even grass has life. Please, show mercy…

The Ghost Server Legion Leader was no gentleman, so Sorrel’s fate was left to the imagination.

After sending Sorrel off, Fang Zheng considered for a moment and whispered to Birdy—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Should we keep pushing, or wait for Xuanyuan to come back?

Birdy didn’t reply immediately, so Fang Zheng sent another message—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: But if we wait for Xuanyuan, War Banner will probably be back too.

As soon as he sent it, Fang Zheng felt his bias was showing. But then Birdy sent two words—

[Whisper] Polly: Leave party.

Almost simultaneously, Birdy exited the current party. Fang Zheng quickly followed and received a new invite—this time, the party included not just Birdy but also Your Uncle and Your Sister.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Isn’t this… a bit shameless?

[Whisper] Polly: Since when do you fear shamelessness? [Eyebrow raise]

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I fear not being shameless enough~~ [Shy]

[Whisper] Polly: [Pinches cheeks]

Fang Zheng swallowed, suddenly feeling his face itch—as if someone was really pinching him. >_<

To prevent War Banner or Huaxia Dominion from returning, Birdy led the boss to an extremely hidden spot, then sent coords to Jiang Yang. The five of them then calmly pushed the boss while chatting—

[Party] Milk is Mom: When’d you two log in? I didn’t even notice. And what were you doing hiding in the Water Curtain Cave?

[Party] Little Lucky Charm: Just got on. Logged out there yesterday.

[Party] Drink Your Sister 3X: We were practicing positioning in the cave. Uncle said it’s narrow with lots of mobs—perfect for it.

[Party] Milk is Mom: Wait, it’s not the weekend. Doesn’t Uncle have work?

[Party] Little Lucky Charm: Company’s doing a summer camp at a water park today. I took leave.

[Party] Milk is Mom: You told them you were gaming?

[Party] Little Lucky Charm: Of course not! I said my stomach hurt—too cold to play in the water.

[Party] Milk is Mom: And that… worked?!

[Party] Little Lucky Charm: Boss approved it without a word.

True love, no explanation needed. =_=

……

The Berserk Sun the Pilgrim gave the Ghost Server trouble. In the end, Your Sister and Jiang Yang died to bring the boss down.

[System] Polly, Mad Lad, Little Lucky Charm, Drink Your Sister 3X, and Milk is Mom have successfully defeated Sun the Pilgrim!

[System] Milk is Mom has obtained Proof of Visit to Flower-Fruit Mountain.

The loot was lackluster, but the system announcement still caused a stir.

[Huaxia] Thunder Battleship: Damn it, Ghost Server again! Leave some bosses for the rest of us!!!

[Huaxia] Born in 1994: Idol legion! Forever!!!

[Huaxia] Gongsun Ce: Forever my ass! Last time, four-manning Zhurong screwed me over. This time, five-manning—can we trust it?

[Huaxia] Drink Till You Drop: Your Sister isn’t someone you can just push around whenever you want.

• 1
  The word “Grape” (Putao) is a twist on the first part of Bodhi Patriarch’s ID (Puti Laozu)
• 2
  Kazuhiko Hanawa from the anime Chibi Maruko-chan. He is a rich and popular classmate. I don’t know why he called him that. I loved that cartoon as a kid, but all I remember about him is his signature hair flick.