Chapter 77 – Two Fawns

At the age of sixteen, Fang Zheng realized he liked boys—and almost simultaneously, he also became aware of his tragic fate.

If a chubby, plain guy pursued a girl with all his sincerity, at least one out of ten girls might be moved. With good luck, that number could rise, because shrewd yet sentimental girls understood that reliability and genuine care often outweighed handsome looks. But if a chubby, plain guy pursued another man… well, he might as well wash up and go to bed. If girls were emotional creatures, then men—especially gay men—were purely motional creatures. When Fang Zheng pleasured himself, he did it while looking at male magazine covers, not listening to comedy skits. What more could he expect from others?

So Fang Zheng had crushed on many people, fantasized countless scenes of blissful romance with them, but it was always like a hazy dream woven in a half-asleep daze by the windowsill in the afternoon. He never took it seriously.

How could anyone ever like him?

[Whisper] Polly: Won’t even give a blessing?

After a long silence with no response, Birdy spoke again.

Fang Zheng snapped out of his chaotic thoughts. He had to say something now, or Birdy might pick up on something. If Birdy found out that Beauty was him…

Fang Zheng didn’t dare think further. He felt like he was teetering on the edge of an abyss—one wrong step, and he’d be doomed.

Why did being confessed to feel so much like being relentlessly targeted by a boss whose aggro you’ve stolen?! This wasn’t scientific TAT

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Of course I’ll give a blessing!

After typing this, Fang Zheng nervously swallowed before continuing—

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: But… isn’t your Legion Leader a man?

[Whisper] Polly: Are you homophobic?

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: No, that’s not what I meant!

Then what the hell did you mean, huh?! TAT

His mind flooded with internal screaming, the Legion Leader yanked at his own hair, as if that could clear the fog in his brain. But his heart still felt like a tiny boat lost in the ocean, tossed uncontrollably by the waves, completely directionless.

[Whisper] Polly: You want to know why I like him, don’t you?

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Yeah, yeah, that’s it. Why?

The Legion Leader exhaled deeply, telling himself—Fang Zheng, be natural. You’re not Milk Mom right now, you’re City Toppler, a little loli about to sell her account. You can do this!

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Is he good-looking?

[Whisper] Polly: No.

Damn, did you have to answer so bluntly?!

[Whisper] Polly: But he’s interesting. You’d never be bored around him.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Sounds like a comedian =_=

[Whisper] Polly: Though he doesn’t think so. He’s always calling this person dumb or that person stupid, but really, he’s the dumbest one.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Heh, heh, how amusing.

He swore, if this bastard dared continue his “confession”—no, aggro-pulling—he’d absolutely…

[Whisper] Polly: You asked why I like him. I don’t know, but I just want to be good to him.

[Whisper] Polly: I want to see him happy, preferably forever smug and shameless like he always is.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: What, you think he’s Peter Pan? People grow up, people get old. No one can stay carefree and smug forever.

[Whisper] Polly: If he lets me stay by his side, I’ll make sure he stays Peter Pan.

Fingers frozen over the keyboard, Fang Zheng wanted to type something but couldn’t move.

His eyes grew warm. He tilted his head back slightly, blinking hard.

He believed in Birdy. This guy wasn’t being arrogant—he truly had the ability to make happen whatever he set his mind to.

But how long would this “setting his mind to it” last? He liked him now, but what about later? Once they stepped out of the virtual world into reality, who could guarantee Birdy wouldn’t turn out to be another Jiang Yang? So the question wasn’t whether he was willing—it was whether Birdy was.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Alright, alright, stop acting like some Love Guru.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Maybe you’re just caught up in the moment. Tomorrow, when you cool off, you might realize you don’t like him anymore.

[Whisper] Polly: What if I don’t cool off?

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: ……

Fang Zheng suddenly missed the stoic, sarcastic, god-mode, taciturn bird. He had zero experience dealing with this fully engaged, emotionally expressive version of Birdy. He was about to lose control TAT

Just as Fang Zheng was agonizing over whether to yank the power cord and fake a blackout, Birdy suddenly asked—

[Whisper] Polly: Do you think… he’d like me back?

Without thinking, Fang Zheng replied—

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: How would I know?

Fang Zheng was telling the truth.

For him, someone liking him at all was already a once-in-a-century miracle worth celebrating. As for whether he liked them back, he’d never even considered that he had the right to be picky.

But now someone was asking—so seriously, so cautiously, as if he were actually some hot commodity.

How could he not like him? Fang Zheng thought. The sarcastic Birdy, the poker-faced Birdy, the mechanically skilled Birdy, the surveillance-camera-aware Birdy, the tirelessly dedicated Legion Deputy Birdy, the merciless-to-enemies Birdy, and… the lazy, drawling “My Legion Leader” Birdy. He wanted to slap a label on every version of him, with a sign that read, Private Property—Do Not Touch.

But this was the godlike Birdy. Even thinking like this made Fang Zheng feel guilty, afraid the other would find out. So whenever vague thoughts like these flickered through his mind, he’d strangle them in the cradle and remind himself—having a Deputy like this was already a blessing earned from his past life.

[Whisper] Polly: Whatever, knew asking you was pointless. I’ll Baidu it.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Baidu what?

[Whisper] Polly: How to make the person you like like you back.

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: ……

There’s a guide for this?! You think this is raiding a boss or something?!

[Whisper] Polly: Weren’t you selling this account?

[Whisper] Polly: Screenshots done?

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: None of your business!

With that, the Legion Leader plopped back into his original seat. Over on that computer, Ghost Lamp Master was clearly growing impatient, flooding Milk is Mom’s whispers with messages like, “You there?” “Dead?” “Are you screenshotting or amputating?”

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Back.

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Thought aliens abducted you =_=

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Screenshots not done yet? The listing info on the trading site hasn’t changed either.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Sorry, not selling this account anymore.

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Huh?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: My bad.

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Trying to jack up the price last minute or what…

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: No, really not selling. Something came up.

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Give me a reason, or I’ll call you a scammer in World chat.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: That’s harsh TAT

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: Talk.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Uh, fine. This account just infiltrated the enemy ranks. Can eavesdrop on them 24/7. Opportunity of a lifetime, can’t miss it, so absolutely no selling.

[Whisper] Ghost Lamp Master: In the fifteen minutes you were screenshotting, you infiltrated the enemy?!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Enemies are unpredictable~~~~

Ghost Lamp Master left in a huff, neither pressing for details on how the enemies were “unpredictable” nor actually blasting Milk is Mom as a scammer in World chat. Fang Zheng was deeply grateful and silently vowed never to gank him in-game again >_<

Returning to the Beauty computer, Fang Zheng sent Birdy a whisper—

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Seller bailed. Deal’s off.

[Whisper] Polly: So… this account’s still yours for now?

[Whisper] City Toppling Beauty: Might be for a long time ╮(╯_╰)╭

Meng Chudong smirked in front of his computer.

That night, the overnight staff at Overwinter Internet Café brought the second boss two rounds of late-night snacks—one at 9:30 PM, another at 11:30 PM. When delivering the second round, she was shocked to see the usually immobile second boss get up from his chair and start doing stretches. He hadn’t done anything unusual all night, just gaming as always—why did he look like he’d just finished hauling sacks for someone? The staffer was baffled.

Meng Chudong took the second snack, thanked her, then continued his stretches—left three circles, right three circles, neck twists, hip shakes—until finally, he felt the exhaustion ease.

The next day at 6 PM, Refined Into a Demon 715 logged in and joined YY.

“Legion Leader, where’d you disappear to last night? I found a really special material while herb gathering and wanted to show you, but you were nowhere to be found.”

Legion Leader: “Uh…”

At 7 PM, Mad Lad logged in and joined YY.

“Healer, what were you up to last night? Tried to find you for a dungeon run but couldn’t.”

Legion Leader: “Uh…”

At 8 PM, Your Uncle logged in and joined YY.

“Legion Leader, where’d you go last night?! We got killed by Greatsword! 5555555~~”

Legion Leader: “Uh…”

It wasn’t that the Legion Leader didn’t want to answer—it was just that the question was hard to answer. After chatting with Birdy as City Toppler last night, he’d been left dazed, staring blankly at the screen for who knew how long. By the time he snapped out of it and returned to the Milk is Mom account, his Legion members had all logged off to rest—even the Deputy’s avatar had gone dark.

Blood Bull mused, “Seems the Legion Leader was very busy last night.”

In fact, it wasn’t just last night. Today’s Legion Leader was also busy—checking the Friends List every two minutes for that grayed-out avatar, agonizing over why the bastard still wasn’t online.

Don’t tell me he regretted his confession the very next day =_=

But it didn’t matter anyway. He didn’t know City Toppler was Milk is Mom—what was there to be awkward about?

The Legion Leader had been clutching his phone all afternoon, practically melting it, before finally caving and sending a text—

[Where are you?]

Two minutes later, a reply finally came.

[Network maintenance today. Whole area is offline.]

[Oh.]

The Legion Leader was sulky, his tone icy.

The Deputy, however, seemed in the mood to chat—

[Running a dungeon?]

[No.]

[Organizing a PvP group?]

[No.]

[Then why’d you message me?]

Can’t I just care about my Deputy?!

[Net is supposed to come back after 10. Go do your thing till then.]

[Screw your sister!]

[Drink Till You Drop would fight you to the death over that.]

[……]

Goddammit, with this kind of god-tier communication, who could possibly tell he likes me!!!