Chapter 84 – Three Tanners
by Salted FishXuanyuan’s departure caused quite a stir that night on Huaxia Summit, and even outside the server, the forums were abuzz for a while. But after the clamor, it all passed. The game remained the same—unless the company shut it down, it would keep running regardless of who left. However, those who had fought alongside Xuanyuan couldn’t simply treat it as just another piece of post-dinner gossip. Huaxia Dominion elected a new Legion Commander, while former core members like Harry Porret mostly left. The once-dominant Huaxia Dominion, after a chaotic restructuring and power struggle, suffered heavy losses and never regained its former glory. Of course, that’s all a story for later.
In truth, that night, after eating ice cream, the Ghost Server Legion Leader slept exceptionally well, without a single dream, until Jacky Cheung’s You’re So Toxic blared in his ears—
“Wake up.” Birdy’s morning call was as concise as ever.
When they were just teammates, this kind of call was fine, but now that they were dating, damn it, would it kill you to call me ‘honey’?!
“If you don’t get up, I’m posting your photos on the forum.”
“……”
“I saw a thread about you yesterday. The OP must be a true fan—said they’d trade their life for ten years of your innocence.”
Wow, I never thought someone like me would have—
“But only if you post a photo.”
What kind of terrible fan is this?!
“Fatty?”
“Fuck, I’m up, I’m up! Couldn’t you wait one more second before pulling out the big move?!”
“It’s fine. I still have a finisher in reserve.”
“Fin…isher?”
“Curious?”
“No!”
Ending the call, Fang Zheng rolled out of bed and started a brand-new day.
The plan for the day begins in the morning.
The plan for the morning begins with weighing oneself.
Despite the ice cream massacre last night, the scale showed no change. The Legion Leader was so happy he nearly blew a snot bubble. He pulled on his tracksuit and jogged off, humming a tune.
At first, the Legion Leader jogged around his apartment complex, but the air quality was downright murderous. After a few days, instead of losing weight, he started developing asthma symptoms. Left with no choice, he switched to jogging at a nearby park. The park was about a fifteen-minute walk from his apartment, but the Legion Leader now worshipped Dai Zong1A deity of supernatural speed in “Water Margin.” He’s nicknamed the Divine Traveler, because he has an extraordinary ability: if he ties talismans to his legs and chants incantations, he can walk 800 li (approximately 400 km or 250 miles) in a single day., the Divine Traveler, as his idol, and his walking speed was increasing by the day. In just eight minutes, he arrived.
An elderly man walking his dog had already circled the lake several times. Seeing Fang Zheng, he smiled warmly, “Young man, you’re here again.”
The aunties had already started their second set of square dancing, and the lead dancer waved at him, “Xiao Fang, join us!”
Looking around the morning park, the average age was 65+, making the vigorous Legion Leader a hot commodity. Everyone wanted to pinch him a few times to relive their youth.
His phone vibrated in his waist pouch, as if timed perfectly.
[Stop chatting and start running.]
Fang Zheng narrowed his eyes and scanned his surroundings, suspecting every old man and auntie of being the Deputy’s spy =_=
“What do you want to eat?” After their workout, Lu Yue slung an arm over his childhood friend’s shoulder and asked earnestly.
Without hesitation, the friend replied, “Whatever.”
Lu Yue sighed in relief. He’d had tofu pudding three days in a row—one more bowl, and he’d want to smash his head into a block of tofu.
“Let’s go. I’ll take you to a place with amazing soup dumplings—”
After a few steps, Lu Yue suddenly realized the small frame under his arm felt a bit sturdier than before. To confirm, he stopped and faced Meng Chudong for a proper look.
Meng Chudong was a few centimeters shorter than Lu Yue, but because he was skinny, he always seemed several sizes smaller. Lu Yue used to joke that they were like Russian nesting dolls—he was the biggest one, while Meng Chudong was the tiniest, innermost doll. But now, despite still being lean, the guy was clearly packing muscle.
Slapping Meng Chudong’s arm, Lu Yue felt the hardness of the muscle beneath his palm. “Damn, those gym sessions weren’t for nothing.”
Meng Chudong shook his head. “Still not enough.”
Lu Yue frowned. “It’s plenty. What, you wanna turn into Schwarzenegger?”
Meng Chudong muttered something under his breath.
Fortunately, Lu Yue was close enough to hear: “Still not enough for a princess carry.”
As a pure-blooded man who had seen Fang Zheng’s bare-faced photo, Lu Yue imagined his childhood friend doing a princess carry on the guy…
“You don’t have to carry him. Zhu Bajie carrying his bride is also a classic. Just carry him piggyback… please, I’m begging you TAT”
Meng Chudong remained oblivious to his friend’s internal weeping because his phone vibrated.
Lu Yue watched as his friend took out his phone, read the message, smiled, and revealed his fangs—a series of actions that filled him with a sense of impending doom.
Meng Chudong pocketed his phone and smiled at Lu Yue. “Let’s have tofu pudding.”
Lu Yue’s world collapsed.
[Tofu pudding is truly a divine food that never gets old~\(≧▽≦)/~]
In a small roadside stall in a small alley of a small city, after sending the above message, a certain chubby guy raised his meaty arm: “Boss, another bowl!”
During the day, usually only Blood Bull, Drink Your Sister, 438, and Crossplayer—the student crowd—were online. Lately, even fewer were around, with Blood Bull and Crossplayer both absent. The former was buried in a sudden surge of homework, while the latter was busy job-hunting.
Of course, if we had Spectator Mode, we could explain Blood Bull’s situation in more detail.
A month ago, Blood Bull started her Ph.D. Her advisor held her in high regard, even telling the dean in person, I have a student who’s a once-in-a-century talent! The dean, also an academic and a longtime friend of the advisor, was naturally excited by such praise and began paying extra attention to Blood Bull. As the saying goes, nothing escapes scrutiny. One day, the dean happened to pass Blood Bull on campus. While other students greeted him with “Hello, Dean,” Blood Bull was on the phone and literally just brushed past him. Though slightly disappointed, the dean wasn’t that fragile. What truly shattered his tolerant heart into pieces was the snippet of conversation he overheard in that fleeting moment—
“Died again?! Big bro, just stop power-leveling for me. I’ll grind and level up myself tonight!”
Here, we must mention the dean’s family situation: He had a son late in life, currently in middle school, hopelessly addicted to online games. Occasionally, the kid would threaten to run away unless his dad topped up his game credits.
Every day, countless big and small events happen on this planet. Sometimes, even those at the center of them can’t grasp the full picture, let alone those in the secondary circle. So, as far as the Legion Leader was concerned, Blood Bull was just busy with her studies after starting her Ph.D.
Birdy, 438, and Drink Your Sister logged in early and were grinding mobs together. Birdy, Fang Zheng, and Blood Bull were already Level 68, but Drink Your Sister, who preferred soloing Elite Mobs to practice her skills, had a consistently high death count. Her XP bar had been stuck just shy of Level 67 for a while. Yesterday’s quest was the key to breaking through to Level 68, but without enough XP, there was no way forward. As for 438, he spent most of his grinding time on Demon Refining, so his XP was lagging too. Thus, the Deputy was kind enough to help the two Legion members grind for XP.
After turning in yesterday’s quest, Lan Xiaotian had another “chat” with them. He mentioned that the prairie had been shrinking over the years, with severe desertification. The tribespeople believed the Grassland Deity was angry, but no one knew where the Grassland Deity was, blah blah blah. The speaker might not have meant much by it, but any listener with an IQ higher than a jellyfish would recognize this as the next quest trigger. However, with the daytime roster incomplete, the team decided that those online early would grind for XP, and when everyone was gathered at night, they’d tackle the new quest together.
[Legion] Refined Into a Demon 715: Legion Leader, good morning! We’re at the Golden Monkey Nature Reserve in Yunnan. Wanna join us for grinding?
The Legion Leader stared at the little healer’s Golden Hoop, worn for years, with mixed feelings.
It’s a nature reserve—don’t you feel guilty killing monkeys?!
Just as he was about to politely decline, Fifth Brother popped up in his whispers—
[Whisper] Fifth Brother’s Trading Post: Legion Leader, got a minute? Hop on YY.
The Legion Leader felt unprecedented pressure—
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I don’t offer that kind of service >_<
[Whisper] Fifth Brother’s Trading Post: Damn fatty, hurry up =_=
This was the thing about knowing someone long enough in the virtual world—even if you weren’t close, casual chats would inevitably reveal bits of real-life info. Over time, there were no secrets left ╮(╯_╰)╭
They met in the Legion’s YY channel, but Fifth Brother had set up a private room. When Fang Zheng joined, he found not just Fifth Brother but also an unfamiliar username.
“What’s up? So mysterious,” the Legion Leader spoke first.
“Not mysterious,” Fifth Brother explained. “Just a convenient place to talk.”
“And this is…?” The Legion Leader was uncharacteristically polite.
“Milk Mom, it’s me~~~~~~~~~~”
Diamond Seller, the firefly in the night, whether in a crowded place or the voice-only virtual world of YY, unconsciously radiated a brilliance impossible to ignore.
When two merchant alts set their sights on you, it was time to clutch all your valuables tight.
The Legion Leader was wary: “What do you two want?”
Diamond Seller: “Hehe…”
“Don’t laugh!” The Legion Leader had a bad feeling, like he was about to get robbed =_=
“We’ve got good news for you. Why so tense?!” Fifth Brother was full of disdain.
The Legion Leader wasn’t convinced. What good could come from two scheming merchants? “If it’s really good, you’d have taken it for yourselves. Why me?”
Diamond: “This one really can’t happen without you.”
Fifth Brother: “You two are beating around the bush too much. Milk Mom, Diamond quit his boss and wants to partner with me. We’ll be our own bosses, scale up the business, establish ourselves on the Summit Server, and expand across all of Huaxia. What do you think?”
The Legion Leader vaguely understood but was still puzzled: “That is a good idea. If it takes off, it’s definitely a money-maker. But why suddenly bring me into this when you two usually hoard all the good stuff…”
Diamond: “We’ve known each other for years. How could we forget you when there’s good news~~~~”
Fifth Brother: “We don’t have enough money between the two of us.”
“Old Five, could you try to have some tact?!”
“Then could you cough up more cash?”
“Anyway, that’s the gist of it~~~ Milk Mom, we’re sincerely inviting you to join this grand venture!”
0 Comments