Chapter 94 – Marry Me
by Salted FishAfter replying to the quasi-homewrecker, Your Sister logged off without hesitation, turned around, and sent the screenshot to Drink Till You Drop via QQ. Without waiting for a response, she immediately dragged that couple avatar into her blocklist on the chubby QQ penguin!
Your Uncle on the Cliff had no idea what was happening and was still asking in YY: “Didn’t you finish the quest? Why aren’t you logging into your own account? And is that your phone ringing nonstop…? singing ‘Beautiful wish~~~ When I grow up, I want to plant suns~~~ Just planting one or two is enough~~~'” As he spoke, Your Uncle started singing along, then added his commentary, “This is a cover, right? Why does it sound so awful?”
Of course, it sounded awful—because it was Drink Till You Drop’s forced recording under Your Sister’s tyrannical rule. After that, it became his exclusive ringtone =_=
But right now, Your Sister had no mind to explain the backstory to Your Uncle, let alone log into the game. Ever since she sent the screenshot, her phone had been blowing up. She was already considering whether to block someone in her contacts too.
Her already low-battery phone soon died under the relentless assault of Planting Suns.
Your Sister’s real life was now peaceful, but her heart was still boiling with indignation. After gnashing her teeth for a while, she finally vented in the Legion YY channel!
Thus and so.
So and thus.
“…So, tell me, who would believe there’s nothing going on between them?! After just two dungeon runs, he remembers her? Your Uncle has told me his name three times, and I still can’t remember it!!! They say long-distance relationships are risky, but even though we’re at the same school, it’s not any safer! Men who play games are all scum!!!”
By the end of her tirade, her comrades finally understood what was going on.
To say Drink Till You Drop was unfairly targeted would be inaccurate, but to say this was entirely his fault would also be rash. If you walk by the river often enough, it’s inevitable you’ll get your shoes wet—unless you’re the Barefoot Immortal. Someone like Drink Till You Drop, with top-tier gear, high skill, a thick skin, and, most importantly, the status of a Legion Commander, was bound to be popular in the game. Even if he had no such intentions, female players would still throw themselves at him. Of course, given Your Sister’s current unstable emotional state, the phrase “Men who play games are all scum” was unanimously ignored by all male members of the Ghost Server Legion…
“I think you should ask Drink Till You Drop for clarification,” Blood Bulls Don’t Graze said—probably the only one who could speak without getting caught in the crossfire of gender-based criticism.
“You think I’m wronging him?” Your Sister’s voice, already high-pitched, rose even further.
“Whether you’re wronging him or not isn’t the point,” Blood Bulls Don’t Graze replied with her usual calm demeanor. “Beating Drink Till You Drop to death is one thing, but regretting it later is another.”
Your Sister fell silent.
The male bystanders also fell silent.
The former was silent because she was starting to think rationally, while the latter was silent because Blood Bulls Don’t Graze had just delivered the brutal line about “beating someone to death” in the same tone as if she were saying, “It’s about time, shall we run a dungeon together?”
Whether or not to ask Drink Till You Drop wasn’t really a dilemma. The two had known each other for years, and Your Sister dared say she probably understood him better than his own parents. Since childhood, the number of girls chasing after Drink Till You Drop could form an elite squad—the in-game situation wasn’t even half as intense as real life. And she was certain that if she confronted him, he’d immediately clarify his stance and cut all ties with that girl. But she didn’t want that. They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but in a relationship where both parties genuinely like each other, she felt that some things shouldn’t require fighting. If he truly liked her, he should’ve eliminated all potential threats before they even arose. The fact that that girl dared to ask to join the legion proved that Drink Till You Drop had given her the illusion that she “had a chance.”
Or… was it not an illusion?
Since she started playing the game, she’d come to understand some things she hadn’t before—like why some people loved gaming so much, or why skipping a day without running a dungeon with the legion made her feel restless. But there were still things she wasn’t sure about. For example, were the virtual and real worlds compatible or mutually exclusive? Could all real-life relationships be directly applied to the game? In real life, she could just march up and declare, “Drink Till You Drop is my boyfriend, back off!” But in the game? Your Uncle had said some people vented their frustrations in-game by killing others, while others had real-life partners but still flirted around in-game. Who was to say Drink Till You Drop didn’t also believe the game and real life were two separate things?
That was the root of her frustration and discomfort.
Especially after she’d taken the initiative to help Drink Till You Drop with his quest—fine, she’d clearly been trying to apologize for her past immaturity, but not only did the man in question show no reaction, now some random dancer had to pop up out of nowhere… Dance, dance, dance your sister1Meant as an actual curse here, that’s why it’s not capitalized.!!!
While Your Sister was wrestling with her thoughts, the Legion Commander wasn’t idle either. Counseling Your Sister wasn’t his forte, but having a man-to-man talk with Drink Till You Drop was doable—
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: She’s pissed. I suggest you lay low for now.
If Birdy’s internet speed was 4M broadband, Drink Till You Drop’s was 400M—faster than an auto-reply—
[Whisper] Drink Till You Drop: If I lay low, I’m dead! You don’t understand her personality!
[Whisper] Drink Till You Drop: The more she ignores you, the more you have to resolve things while the iron’s hot. Otherwise, by the time you try, she won’t give you another chance!!!!
[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Don’t, don’t get worked up. I can practically hear you smashing your keyboard~~ [head pat]
[Whisper] Drink Till You Drop: Try patting me again and see what happens…
Damn, this guy was about to go Berserk =_=
For once, the Legion Commander felt a pang of sympathy and racked his brains to help the poor guy out: “Why don’t you come to our YY? She’s here. Face her directly, apologize if you need to, kneel on a keyboard if you must.”
After a long pause, Drink Till You Drop sighed helplessly: “Actually, things were already smoothing over after she threw my gear at me and we broke up. We were about to get back together in a day or two, but who knew…”
“Brother, don’t say another word,” the Legion Commander said, almost wanting to pat him on the shoulder. “It’s fate. We just have to accept it.”
“I won’t accept it,” Drink Till You Drop said bluntly. “I’m completely innocent here!”
The Legion Commander scoffed: “After just two dungeon runs, you’re catching girls. How are you innocent?”
Drink Till You Drop slammed the table: “Try running a dungeon with someone who hums Phoenix Legend the entire time! You’d remember her too! Not just remember—you’d hear it playing in your head at midnight!”
“…All Phoenix Legend?”
“Fine, there was some Love Trade too.”
Drink Till You Drop was undoubtedly the most unjustly accused scumbag in history. Fang Zheng thought that if he were in his shoes, he’d have long since retreated into silent, tearful gazing from afar…
The Legion Commander returned to YY and relayed everything to Your Sister, concluding with advice: “Growing up together since you were in diapers and still ending up as a couple—that’s such an improbable miracle, you should cherish it.”
After hearing the explanation, the knot in Your Sister’s heart loosened somewhat, but she still muttered: “You’re not his mouthpiece. If he wants to explain, why doesn’t he come himself?”
Ah, the collateral damage of couple fights!
The Legion Commander sighed and was about to send another whisper to Drink Till You Drop when a sudden line of text flashed across the long-quiet World Megaphone, blinding his titanium alloy eyes—
[Megaphone] Drink Till You Drop: [Drink Your Sister 3X] Will you marry me?
……
Many, many years later, when Huaxia Summit had become a legend in Huaxia Online, when the stars of the era had all faded into obscurity, people would still fondly recall Drink Till You Drop—not for his status as a Legion Commander, but for his nickname, “Summit Server Mario,” meaning he’d spent his life headbutting mushroom clouds.
……
[Huaxia] War-Black Gold: I must’ve opened the game wrong =_=
[Huaxia] War-Snow Wolf: Black Gold, why are you getting involved in such romantic nonsense?
[Huaxia] War-Black Gold: I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll fall behind the times. Also, are you sure “romantic nonsense” is the right phrase for this?
[Huaxia] Harry Porret: Pah! More like shameless flirting!
[Huaxia] Crystal: Weren’t you just confessing to Ghost Server’s zombie yesterday?! I’ll never believe in love again, waaah…
[Huaxia] War-Sister Liuli: “Shameless flirting” is for women, right? For him, it’d be more like “recklessly unfaithful.”
[Huaxia] War-Sister Liuli: Wait, that sounds like a compliment…
[Huaxia] I Want to Be an Immortal: Thomas the Tank Engine, are you there? Are you there? Come out and witness this!
[Huaxia] Leveling Maniac: What’s going on?! One drama after another, can’t people just run dungeons in peace?!
All members of the Ghost Server Legion except Your Sister were online at the time and thus couldn’t escape the radiation of Drink Till You Drop’s love. But compared to the clueless masses, they were far calmer. They simply sent Blood Bulls Don’t Graze as their representative to screenshot the megaphone message for Your Sister, then each chimed in with their thoughts—
2B Fighter Jet: “This is a good move. Shows loyalty and cuts off future trouble!”
Diamond: “Ah, how many Summit Server girls’ hearts are shattering into pieces~~”
Your Uncle: “Maybe you really misunderstood him.”
Fifth Brother: “Youth is beautiful…”
438: “Are you two even of legal marriage age?”
Crossplayer: “I’m gonna call my girlfriend and say goodnight.”
Blood Bulls Don’t Graze: “Five Peaks Pavilion members probably want to eat their Legion Commander alive right now.”
Polly: “Is he leaving their legion?”
Fang Zheng: “I won’t take him.”
Mad Lad: “If you meet a man brave enough to marry you, just marry him.”
Your Sister: “What do you mean by that?!”
See, the lady was listening intently =_=
“Uh,” Comrade Jiang Yang nervously gulped, then cowardly added, “Forget I said anything.”
Feisty women and straight men were creatures Jiang Yang respectfully avoided.
[Five Peaks Pavilion YY — Core Members’ Private Room]
White Dragon Horse: “Drink, are you serious? Just because she can hit 220 in Audition Online without failing?”
Suave Not Sleazy: “That reason is way too pure…”
Summit of Mount Tai: “Drink, be honest—have you video-chatted or seen her photo?”
Suave Not Sleazy: “Not everyone’s as weak to beauties as you.”
Unintentional Mistake: “Or maybe she’s got a really charismatic personality?”
Suave Not Sleazy: “Can’t tell from the ID…”
Fire Cloud Evil God: “Then, Suave, why do you think the Legion Commander suddenly proposed, and with such a ‘marry you or die’ attitude?”
That simple megaphone message hardly conveyed a “marry you or die” attitude =_=
Suave Not Sleazy: “If you ask me, the Legion Commander must’ve done something irreversible and now has to take responsibility.”
Your ID suits you well!
“She’s my real-life girlfriend.” If he didn’t speak up now, Drink Till You Drop felt he’d die from internal bleeding.
But after he spoke, the private room fell silent.
Tick.
Tock.
Finally, all core members of Five Peaks Pavilion reached the same conclusion: “That terrifying woman who emptied our Legion Warehouse—?!”
At the same time, some players in the World Channel also had an epiphany.
[Huaxia] Big H: They must’ve known each other already. “Drink Till You Drop” and “Drink Your Sister 3X”—these are clearly couple names!
[Huaxia] Kill All Who Block Me: How the hell did you figure that out =_=
[Huaxia] Leaves Fall on Chang’an: Wait, Your Sister and Polly are both from Ghost Server, right?
[Huaxia] Gentle Blade: So he’s dead set on forming a marriage alliance with Ghost Server?
[Huaxia] Gentle Blade: Or is Milk is Mom his true love? Since he can’t have him, he’s going after everyone around him?
[Huaxia] War-Sister Liuli: Eww~~ That sounds so perverted~\(≧▽≦)/~
[Huaxia] War-Bodhi Patriarch: Girl, you just typed out your real thoughts…
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