36. Falling Dream Part 1

Lu Zhengming wanted to hold him. He lifted his hands halfway, then hesitated. After all, Yin Yan was an adult who could handle himself. His hands remained awkwardly suspended in the air until Yin Yan pressed them down and kissed him. “If you’re not going home, where else would you go?”

“Beijing, maybe. There’s a special exhibition at the National Museum. Dutch painters from the seventeenth century. I looked it up, and they’ve got some good pieces, even a few of Rembrandt’s self-portraits.”

“I thought you weren’t into classical paintings?”

Yin Yan still had that same indifferent look, but Lu Zhengming felt there was a trace of warmth in his smile. Of course, there was also something else—an unavoidable resignation, something that didn’t quite come from the heart. Lu Zhengming wanted to brush it away. He cupped Yin Yan’s face and kissed him deeply, not letting go until he saw that look of quiet surrender in his eyes. Only then did he feel a little steadier.

“I’m interested in you. The paintings are just a bonus.”

Yin Yan smiled again, as if pleased, but also not quite. Lu Zhengming realized that he had never actually seen what Yin Yan looked like when he was truly happy.

That night, he clung to Yin Yan, knowing this would be his last visit before the winter break. There was too much work piled up. He wanted to get a head start before the New Year, so he could properly enjoy his holiday afterward. Yin Yan completely understood. He had his own work too, making final adjustments to the portrait he had painted of Lu Zhengming, which he planned to submit for an exhibition.

Lu Zhengming couldn’t quite understand his choice. He stood in front of the painting and asked, “Wouldn’t painting a female model be an easier way to win an award? Has the usual formula changed?”

“No,” Yin Yan shook his head, gazing at the rocky reef in the painting. For some reason, Lu Zhengming felt that the rocks carried an emotion, something quietly desolate.

“I just wanted to paint this.”

Yin Yan cut off his train of thought, leaving that strange feeling suspended in the air.

Lu Zhengming continued voicing his opinion. “Compared to the nude women you painted before, this one feels more like a real creation, because it’s not so…” He hesitated, glancing at Yin Yan, who completed his sentence for him.

“Fake.”

They both laughed.

Yin Yan kissed him. “I told you before. We’re collaborating on this exhibition.”

Lu Zhengming wasn’t used to his sudden initiative. He rubbed his lips. “I thought you were joking.”

“I wasn’t. I really wanted to paint it this way. It deserves to be in an art exhibition.”

“Why?”

“No reason.” Seeing that Lu Zhengming was still puzzled, Yin Yan smiled and changed the subject. “You can think about work tomorrow. Right now, I just want to relax.”

He leaned in close, breath warm against Lu Zhengming’s ear. “Don’t you?”

“But—”

Yin Yan didn’t let him finish. He knelt down and undid Lu Zhengming’s belt.

The moment he was engulfed in that warm, wet mouth, Lu Zhengming couldn’t think anymore. But he really didn’t want to do this in front of his own portrait. It felt too bizarre. As soon as he came down from the initial dizzying rush of pleasure, he pulled Yin Yan up and led him into the bedroom.

Knowing they wouldn’t see each other for a while, they both lost control.

Lu Zhengming was completely lost in the moment, and Yin Yan was even more immersed. Blindfolded, with a leash still fastened around his neck, he straddled Lu Zhengming, working hard to please him. Deprived of sight, he could only rely on his hearing for feedback. However, Lu Zhengming remained completely silent. There wasn’t a single sound from him. The only thing Yin Yan could sense was the chains lightly striking against his own body.

He moved for a long while without getting any response. Confused, he stopped and pressed against Lu Zhengming’s waist.

“…Are you feeling good?”

Lu Zhengming still didn’t answer. In truth, he was struggling to hold back. It was all part of his little game to surprise Yin Yan. He knew Yin Yan loved submission but also craved suspense. This kind of silent domination, devoid of any violence, would make him even more intoxicated.

Lu Zhengming tugged at the leash, and just as expected, Yin Yan resumed his movements, even more unrestrained than before. His legs spread completely apart, hands bracing against the bed, his body arching backward. In an instant, the intimate space between his cheeks was fully exposed.

Lu Zhengming watched himself slip out of Yin Yan’s body, leaving a glistening trail across his lower abdomen with a wet, sticky sound. The stretched-open entrance slowly contracted as fluid trickled out, soaking the fine hairs below.

Regret crept in. He had been too confident. If this went on, he was going to lose control.
At this point, there were only two options: cry out or give in and let go. It had become an impossible dilemma.

Yin Yan, unaware of his struggle, was completely detached from shame. The blindfold not only blocked his vision but also shielded him from any embarrassment.

He called out, “Zhengming,” reaching down to guide him back inside.

But there was too much lubricant. The lewd sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the room, his legs spread wide in a complete mess. No matter how he tried, he simply couldn’t take him in again.

He touched himself again. After a while without being filled, his entrance had already tightened once more. He played with the flushed folds, inserting his fingers one by one, taking Lu Zhengming’s place as he moved in and out.

“Zhengming, come inside…” He gasped, using his fingers to spread apart the soft flesh. “I miss you so much…”

Lu Zhengming sucked in a sharp breath, so hard it made his veins stand out. He let out a low sigh, indulging himself just enough to give Yin Yan encouragement, then drove in deep.

“Mm—”

Yin Yan’s moan caught in his throat, his body tensing as a thin strand of precum spilled from him. He stayed taut for a long moment before finally relaxing.

“Hurry up.” Lu Zhengming gave the chain another tug, his voice hoarse now.

“Okay…”

Yin Yan started moving his hips again. After a few thrusts, his waist and legs began to weaken. Lu Zhengming swelled inside him, throbbing to the limit, each thrust striking the spot he couldn’t bear.

He had no choice but to propped himself up against Lu Zhengming’s chest, gasping for breath.

“Don’t stop.”

Lu Zhengming’s tone was a little firm, but his hands were gentle as they held onto Yin Yan’s waist, steadily thrusting into him. He was barely keeping up the act. He wanted nothing more than to flip Yin Yan over, kiss him senseless, and fuck him hard. But he knew that if he exercised some restraint, Yin Yan would feel it even more intensely.

His pace gradually slowed until Yin Yan had caught his breath, then he stopped moving altogether.

Yin Yan started moving again, bracing himself on his knees, lifting his body before sinking back down. His hands roamed over his own body. “Do you like it? Zhengming… does this feel good?”

He knew Lu Zhengming was watching him, so he deliberately put on a show, moving with lewd, shameless exaggeration. His hardened cock swung between their stomachs, flinging slick droplets everywhere. “How about this? Does this feel good…?”

Lu Zhengming had no idea how it could possibly get any better. He gritted his teeth, yanked Yin Yan against him, and pinning him down. Those sinful, trembling ass cheeks clenched around him, sucking him in like they were trying to devour him.

Yin Yan gasped and begged him to let go, but Lu Zhengming wasn’t sure which of them was supposed to be letting go. If he didn’t grip that constantly writhing waist tight, he really wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer.

He thrust forward, pushing Yin Yan onto his stomach, forcing him onto all fours. Before Yin Yan could even catch his breath, Lu Zhengming tugged sharply at the chain.

Yin Yan’s upper body was pulled upright, the collar tightening around his vulnerable throat.

Lu Zhengming pressed the heat of his cock against his entrance. “Do you want it?”

Yin Yan couldn’t breathe. His vision flickered in and out of darkness, but his lower body trembled uncontrollably, dripping with arousal. He nodded frantically, then pushed his hips back, taking Lu Zhengming in to the hilt.

Another deep, brutal thrust followed.

Lu Zhengming pinned his back down, shoving his face into the mattress, fucking him ruthlessly. When Yin Yan came, his insides clenched unbearably tight, his entire lower body trembling with aftershocks. Every time Lu Zhengming thrust into him, another spurt spilled out, making a mess everywhere.

By the end, Yin Yan didn’t even know what kind of fluid was leaking out of him anymore. Even after Lu Zhengming ejaculated deep inside him, the warm, sticky mess kept trickling out, soaking half the bed.

He lay there, drowning in the overwhelming heat, slowly suffocating in shame and guilt.

“Don’t touch me…”

When Lu Zhengming reached out to clean him up, Yin Yan violently resisted, curling into himself. Wrapped in the damp sheets, he reeked of filth and degradation. He refused to take off the blindfold. He didn’t want to face the world outside this darkness, where only endless humiliation and beatings awaited him.

He curled up tighter, bracing for the inevitable degradation. But instead, a warm chest pressed against his back.

Lu Zhengming held him through the sheets, kissing his exposed ear and the back of his head. “It’s okay.”

He kissed him again and again, slowly melting away his resistance, murmuring softly as he comforted him. “Really… it’s okay. As long as it’s you, it’s okay…”

Yin Yan’s breathing gradually steadied. Noticing this, Lu Zhengming unfastened the collar and pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder. His lips brushed against the damp sheet as he leaned closer, but he did not pull away. He lingered there a moment longer before finally reaching for the blindfold, intending to take it off.

The moment his fingers touched it, Yin Yan suddenly shoved him away.

The force knocked Lu Zhengming clean off the bed. He hit the floor hard, scrambled up in alarm, but before he could react, Yin Yan had already staggered into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.