Chapter 25. The Answer Is No Part 2

The Qingdao City Hospital was built by the sea, repurposed from an old colonial mansion. At a glance, it was hard to believe this was a public hospital, especially the seaview inpatient ward, surrounded by a European-style garden, which looked more like a sanatorium.

Lu Zhengming stood by the window, staring at the calm sea under the setting sun, his heart still lingering with fear.

Before this, his only experience with water was in swimming pools. The clear, gentle water, free of aggression, had given him no concept of the power of the waves, until the tide hurled him against the reef, nearly knocking him unconscious. That was when he realized his own ignorance.

First, he was tossed about by the foam, then dragged into the depths by the current, almost swept into a bed of sargassum. He struggled with all his might, barely managing to break the surface. Everywhere he looked, there was only murky seawater. Ouyang was nowhere to be seen.

The waves slammed him against the rocks, again and again. His vision blurred, his limbs weakened, and he gradually drifted with the tide. His body grew colder and colder, and fear took hold of him. Bitter seawater flooded his mouth, drowning his cries. All he could see was foam and bits of seaweed. Fishy, filthy, nothing like the pristine ocean he had admired from the shore.

These eyes of his had seen so many beautiful things. If this was to be the last sight of his life, he refused to accept it.

Then, he saw a hand.

It was pale, soft, like the hand of a noblewoman from an Ingres painting, plump yet powerless. And yet, it saved him. It pulled him from the sea, back onto the shore.

He lay on the reef for a long time, gasping for breath, before finally seeing the owner of that hand.

Ouyang sat beside him, still clutching his arm. He looked just as battered as Lu Zhengming.

Later, Lu Zhengming would come to learn that, like him, Ouyang had been swept back to the reef by the huge waves after falling into the water. Her body got stuck between the rocks, and the rising tide relieved some of the weight, giving her enough strength to escape. But by then, Lu Zhengming had already jumped into the sea, and her cries were drowned out by the roar of the waves. She could only watch helplessly as he was battered by the surf.

Fortunately, he was swept close to Ouyang. Clinging to the rocks, she gripped his wrist with all her might, preventing him from being dragged into the deep sea.

They made it to shore, just a few dozen meters from where they had fallen. Ouyang’s foot was injured, and Lu Zhengming supported her as they made their way to the crowd, utterly drained of energy.

By now, the sky had darkened, and the reef was out of their line of sight. No one knew what had happened afterward. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, only to turn their blame on Ouyang. Even her injuries were seen as her own fault.

Lu Zhengming repeatedly explained that, before losing consciousness, he kept telling them it was Ouyang who had saved both of them.

No one believed him.

“They said I was just saving face for her.”

Lu Zhengming pressed his knuckles into the sharp corner of the windowsill, the pain making him grit his teeth as he spoke with a hint of frustration. “I was almost dead, what the hell does face even mean?”

Yin Yan sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his hand, pressing his own knuckles into the same spot. He sighed.

Lu Zhengming turned his head. “How’s Ouyang?”

Yin Yan pulled out his phone and opened the photo album. “This is something she drew today.”

It was another near-black-and-white depiction of the sea, similar to the ones before. The water’s surface was rich with colors and brushstrokes, pleasing to the eye. Lu Zhengming flipped through the album, his heart swelling with pride. “She’s the most accomplished one in this batch.”

Yin Yan smiled and nodded in agreement. “The work from earlier belongs to someone else.”

Ouyang’s leg was only lightly bruised, but Lu Zhengming was hospitalized due to pneumonia caused by the drowning. Every day, Yin Yan attended class in his place, assigning homework in the morning, critiquing the work in the evening, then photographing the pieces and bringing them to him for review.

Lu Zhengming flipped through the photos, each one making his heart burn with warmth. Yin Yan hadn’t just photographed all the assignments; he had also noted down the names on each piece. Some photos even zoomed in on details, like Ouyang’s depiction of the sea. Lu Zhengming briefly reviewed the comments, which were in line with the suggestions Yin Yan had given them, and found little else to add. He placed the phone down on the bed.

The single room was empty except for the two of them. With only homework to review, it felt a bit wasteful.

Lu Zhengming looked at Yin Yan, the desire in his eyes unmistakable. He hadn’t smoked for a few days, and the emptiness in his mouth was unbearable. Reluctantly, he muttered a “thank you” and slowly sat beside Yin Yan. His response that night had been a little odd, hard to tell if it was rejection or acceptance. It seemed their relationship hadn’t changed.

He had pierced the paper, but the other remained unmoved. He, on the other hand, became more hesitant, uncertain about how to approach.

His lips were only a few millimeters away from Yin Yan’s, his heart hanging in uncertainty, feeling inexplicably irritated. He waited until an excuse appeared before he gathered the courage to lean in.

“You’re always so nice to others, and now you’re finally being nice to me…”

Yin Yan smiled, his breath brushing across Lu Zhengming’s face: “Between colleagues, it’s natural to help each other out.”

“Colleagues?”

Lu Zhengming’s heart sank, and he instinctively pulled back. After seeing his expression, he realized he had been toyed with again. Frustrated, he pinned Yin Yan down, and no excuse could stop him from kissing him.

He kissed him messily for a long time but was unable to quench his thirst. So he tugged at Yin Yan’s collar and lowered his face.

He didn’t like being reckless in public places. It made him feel too depraved, losing his bottom line.

But what was the bottom line? He couldn’t quite say, but with Yin Yan, it seemed like he could compromise on anything.

“I missed you.”

Lu Zhengming grabbed Yin Yan’s hand and led it under his hospital gown. Beneath the cotton fabric was his skin, and what he needed in that moment was skinship without clothes as a barrier.

Yin Yan’s hand climbed up his waist and began to play with his chest muscles. He knew Lu Zhengming liked it that way.

Lu Zhengming had been propped above him, but his body gradually became weaker, and before he realized it, he was lying under Yin Yan, his chest pushing forward in response.

He was so lost in pleasure that his body went limp. Yin Yan’s hand was too skilled, far more experienced than Lu Zhengming’s own would suggest. Lu Zhengming prided himself on being an expert and knew that the body’s responses couldn’t lie.

Where had this experience come from? A thought flashed through his mind, and in an instant, it pulled him away from the haze of desire.

“Are you… a bi?”

Yin Yan smiled softly, his hand never stopping: “Does that affect your interest?”

To be honest, it did.

However, with his chest exposed to the slightly cool air, Lu Zhengming decided to stop thinking so much for the moment. He wanted it too badly, especially when Yin Yan leaned down and took his nipple into his mouth, making him feel so good he almost cried out. He rubbed against Yin Yan’s leg, his hands groped around, searching aimlessly, until he finally pulled Yin Yan’s hand toward him.

Yin Yan pressed down on his upper body, looking down at him with a teasing gaze. Lu Zhengming pulled the blanket to cover his lower body, then shifted around underneath it briefly before guiding Yin Yan’s hand beneath the covers.

There was nothing on underneath.

As soon as his hand wrapped around it, Yin Yan felt Lu Zhengming’s heat. It swelled in his grasp, burning hot, and just a slight caress made it pulse wildly. Lu Zhengming tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as his gaze grew increasingly dazed. He wanted to hold on a bit longer, but Yin Yan suddenly lifted the quilt, lowered his head, and took him into his mouth.

The door to the hospital room couldn’t be locked, and someone could burst in at any moment, adding a forbidden thrill to the experience. Lu Zhengming couldn’t last under such stimulation and soon came into Yin Yan’s mouth.

Lu Zhengming had done many reckless things in his life, things that could have ended badly or landed him in serious trouble. Even Yin Yan would sometimes say that the only reason he hadn’t faced real consequences was sheer dumb luck.

This time, his luck held out once again. The entire encounter passed without interruption. He slowly calmed his breathing, watching as Yin Yan swallowed everything down, straightened his shirt, and returned to his usual composed and refined demeanor.

This man, someone seemingly distant and untouchable, was willing to act recklessly with him. The thought moved Lu Zhengming, but it also left him feeling incredulous.

In this world, aside from his creative work, the person who fascinated him most was Yin Yan. There was always a shroud of mystery around him, tugging at him, drawing him deeper into exploration. Yet, beneath that haze, Lu Zhengming wasn’t sure if he could truly accept the real Yin Yan.

As the heat in his body faded and his mind cleared, the question that had been haunting him resurfaced. Was Yin Yan bisexual?

If he was…
Lu Zhengming’s thoughts drifted to a morning several months ago, when that female teaching assistant had stepped out of the passenger seat of Yin Yan’s car, and to the vague, elusive answer Yin Yan had given him.

His heart grew heavier as he stared at Yin Yan’s face, unsure how to bring it up.

Yin Yan met his gaze in silence, as though deliberately withholding his response. He carefully fastened Lu Zhengming’s buttons, one by one. But when he reached the last button, he changed his mind and left it undone, leaving Lu Zhengming’s collar open to reveal the dip at the base of his collarbone, where a small shadow pooled, making him look irresistibly sensual.

Yin Yan traced that shadow with his fingers, slowly moving upward until his touch landed on Lu Zhengming’s Adam’s apple. It shifted nervously beneath his fingertips.

Yin Yan gazed at him steadily and spoke with quiet certainty.

“I’m not.”