GGAS 24

JDI Party. Seo Taerim preferred to use pure Korean and avoided foreign words, but at least this time he was thankful that the reckless use of English had taken over South Korea. If not for that, the truth that this dazzling cruise party hosted by Seo Taerim was actually a housewarming party (Jipdeuli) would have been revealed to the whole world.

“Ha….”

Seo Taerim sighed and looked into the mirror. He was satisfied with the toned-down pink suit he wore, but he did not like the pomade-slicked hair. It was not that he had originally held any grudge against the hairstyle. The problem was Kim Abang.

Just a day before, after crawling out of the trash bin and feeling at a loss about how to handle the situation, Seo Taerim sighed and brushed back his hair. Kim Abang saw him brushing his hair back, associated it with pomade hair, then from pomade hair thought of a party, and then from that, a cruise party.

And then he combined that with the original housewarming plan, suggesting they invite about half the guests as reporters and hold a press conference near the end of the party.

When Seo Taerim first heard this idea, he did not understand why on earth they had to combine a housewarming, a cruise party, and a press conference. But when Kim Abang explained that people became more lenient after being fed and that if they treated the reporters to a grand meal first, then the press conference would go smoother, Seo Taerim was able to accept the reason for holding a cruise party and press conference together. And when he then heard the explanation, “The housewarming was originally going to be a cruise party,” he decided to comfortably give up on free will and go along with Kim Abang.

Of course, that did not mean it was not embarrassing, so Seo Taerim had been troubled. If people heard that Kim Abang and Seo Taerim were throwing a party and holding a press conference, the news would spread across the whole nation on every channel. But Seo Taerim, the representative of H Hotel, had not even moved houses. He was just watching over his mother’s place for a while. He did not want to tell the entire nation the excessive news, “He is doing a housewarming even though he did not move, and that housewarming is not even at a house but on a cruise ship.”

So he even asked Kim Abang if they could at least change the name of the party to something other than a housewarming. But that only brought back the question, “Then how is it a housewarming?” which meant they could not use any normal name either. Because of this, Seo Taerim’s worries grew deeper by the minute.

At that moment, the one who appeared before Seo Taerim like a comet was Chief Kang. Speaking of her, she had lived the life of an SNS addict after work for about eight years, and seobeang was her native language. Normally seobeang meant “search prevention,” like changing “Eun Sanho” to “Eun kiteho¹” so that even if a celebrity typed his own three-character name into a search bar, he would not come across overly embarrassing posts. But no one did seobeang for all fifty million citizens.

But Chief Kang, for her poor boss’s sake, suggested using the romanization and initials of “housewarming” and planned a nationwide seobeang. And Seo Taerim immediately felt it was heaven’s blessing that he had hired Chief Kang and passed the idea on to Kim Abang. Kim Abang approved it right away, saying that most government homepages used “Hong Gildong²” as the sample English name for sign-up, so Jipdeuli was fine as well. His explanation was that since even meticulous Mr. Hong Gildong accepted it, the romanization rules must be trustworthy. Seo Taerim did not have the energy to understand what that meant, but at least it felt like a less embarrassing method, so he ordered that every invitation be stamped with JDI instead of housewarming.

After twists and turns, the name JDI Party was decided, and the general manager of the event was Kim Abang. Actually, Seo Taerim had wanted to supervise the event himself, even if he followed Kim Abang’s idea. He knew very well that things never stayed within the normal range once Kim Abang got involved. But because he was busy with hotel work, Seo Taerim had no choice but to hand over the megaphone to Kim Abang. And that was the reason why Seo Taerim was now taking out a Cheongshim pill³ from his pocket and swallowing it.

“Hoo…?”

After taking the Cheongshim pill, the anxiety that had almost driven him mad seemed to calm a little. Yes, it was true that Kim Abang was clumsy and scatterbrained. But was he not the proper owner of a store after all? The fact that he had kept the business running for years without going under meant his abilities were not bad.

On top of that, was he not Chairwoman Kim’s eldest child? As a member of one of the top chaebol families in Korea, he must have held countless parties like this. Thinking like that, Seo Taerim was able to steady his trembling lips. And since he had calmed himself anyway, he loosened up his mouth with “a-e-i-o-u” and “prrr prrr.”

“Hoo….”

He took a deep breath, then looked in the mirror and put on that handsome smile of his. Then he checked his phone that was buzzing shortly. A message had come from Kim Abang.

It said to come to the main hall if he was done preparing.

The powder room was not far from the main hall, so Seo Taerim soon arrived at the door of the main hall. Before going in, he straightened his clothes one last time.

‘Come to think of it, this is the first time I’m meeting Kim Abang dressed up like this….’

He wore a suit for work every day, but it was his first time meeting dressed up this brightly. And even though Seo Taerim often wore suits, Kim Abang always wore casual sweatshirts or jeans, so it was really the first time he saw him dressed up.

‘Of course, jeans and sweatshirts suit him too….’

Seo Taerim thought as he placed his hand on the doorknob, and without realizing it, the tips of his ears turned a little red. Since if Kim Abang matched the dress code, he too would be wearing pink, their outfits might even look like a couple outfits.

‘Couple outfits….’

Seo Taerim’s lips curved up into a smile. But at that moment, the door suddenly swung open from the inside.

“……?”

Seo Taerim looked at the person who came out through the door and was a little startled. Their outfit was quite unusual. Half of the face was hidden behind dark sunglasses, the head was wrapped with a brightly colored scarf, and the body was draped with a sack that dragged on the floor. The small figure was hard to identify, as one could guess. Since they held a mop in one hand, it seemed like they might be a cleaner. But Seo Taerim quickly changed his mind. If they were a cleaner, would they really lunge at him with a mop as if fencing, instead of using it to clean?

“Mr, Mr, sir, please calm down!”

Seo Taerim stepped back quickly, trying to dodge the mop that stabbed toward him without mercy, but his step tangled and he fell on his backside.

“Ugh….”

Seo Taerim rubbed his tailbone and looked up. The mop fencer was towering over him with the presence of a giant, pointing the mop at him.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Seo Taerim asked, feeling wronged.

“Shh.”

The fencer pressed a finger to his lips, telling him to be quiet. Since Seo Taerim was both flustered and scared at being on the verge of being hit with a stranger’s mop, he was about to close his mouth.

But right then, he caught sight of a limited edition Bunny Bunny baby rabbit sticker on the fencer’s ring fingernail, and he could not keep his mouth shut.

“Kim Abang-ssi?”

Seo Taerim frowned and asked just in case.

“I don’t know anyone by that name.”

The fencer spoke in a heavily lowered Kim Abang voice.

“It is you…!”

When Seo Taerim protested, the fencer pushed the mop under his chin.

“Quiet. From now on, only answer what I ask, Seo Taerim.”

“Yes?”

“Do you like jajangmyeon or jjamppong?⁴”

“…What?”

“I asked if you like jajangmyeon or jjamppong!”

The fencer pressed him again with the mop, as if interrogating him over a Chinese restaurant menu choice. Seo Taerim, who usually enjoyed eating half-and-half jjamjjamyeon, froze up.

“Ja… no, jjam… no, ja….”

“Pick one!”

“If-if I have to pick one… I like jajangmyeon a little more….”

“Okay. I like jajangmyeon too. Then next question. Sea or mountain?”

Seo Taerim, who always traveled to volcanic Jeju Island whenever he took vacation, got tangled up again.

“Sea… no, mountain… going to the mountain and then the sea… no, the sea first and then….”

“Save fuel!”

“Then I like the sea… no, but what is this even….”

“Okay, sea. I also totally love the sea. Then next question. Do you like summer or winter?”

As if reflecting the worsening global warming, spring and fall were left out of the question.

Since fall was Seo Taerim’s favorite season, he started to sweat nervously.

“Excuse me, if you could at least tell me the reason for these questions…?”

“Summer or winter!”

“I don’t really… prefer either that much….”

“Summer or winter!”

“Uh… I… I guess I prefer winter over summer….”

“Okay, winter! I’m also an eoljookgyeo.”

“Eoljookgyeo?”

“Even if I freeze to death, winter.”

“Uh… but I’m not exactly that extreme….”

When Seo Taerim showed signs of resistance, the fencer slid the mop toward him again.

“…I will definitely die in winter.”

When Seo Taerim declared, the mop pulled back.

“Good. Now stay right there and don’t move for a moment.”

The fencer spoke. When Seo Taerim moved his hand a little in defiance, the fencer hissed.

“President Seo, just try moving. Things will get really fun.”

The fencer gave a threatening warning, then gently set the mop down on the floor. From inside the sack, he pulled out a Bunny Bunny baby rabbit notebook. From where Seo Taerim sat, the back cover of the notebook was clearly visible. What was especially clear was the waterproof name sticker printed in Choco Cookie font that read “Kim Abang.” Seo Taerim was dumbfounded and pointed at the notebook with his finger.

“Why do you keep pretending you’re not him? On the back of that notebook…”

“Shut it!”

The fencer pressed his index finger to his lips and shouted, and Seo Taerim quietly bit his lower lip and lowered his finger. The fencer glanced at Seo Taerim, then began to write something carefully in the notebook with a ballpoint pen that also had the same name sticker on it.

“This is… done. Supplies are… ready.”

The fencer muttered to himself, nodding, then closed the notebook shut and tucked it back into his chest. Finally, as if he wanted to reveal his true identity, he tried to whip off his sunglasses and scarf. But because the knot was tied tightly, the scarf would not come undone, and the sunglasses got caught on the scarf and only half came off.

“Uh, huh….”

The fencer muttered in confusion. He tugged the scarf forward and backward, then, deciding it was no use, pulled it upward over his head as if he was taking off a T-shirt. But knots had to be checked carefully and undone one by one. If pulled at randomly, they only got more tangled. Unfortunately, the fencer, forgetting that, kept recklessly pulling on the scarf until in the end he ended up strangled by it.

“C, ch….”

The more the fencer struggled to free himself, the tighter the scarf choked his neck. Seeing this, Seo Taerim hesitated, then got up. Narrowing his eyes, he checked the tangled knot in front, then judged that it was impossible to untie from that side and moved behind the fencer.

“What on earth… how did you tie this thing….”

Seo Taerim muttered in frustration as he tried different ways to loosen it.

“Are, are you trying to kill me!”

As the choking worsened during the untying process, the fencer shouted.

“Kill you, what kill you… Just lower your head a bit.”

Seo Taerim pressed gently on the fencer’s round head as he spoke. When the fencer obediently lowered his head under Seo Taerim’s hand, it became easier to untie.

“The knot… ah, here it is.”

As Seo Taerim muttered and loosened the key tangle, the scarf slipped off smoothly. As an after-service, he even neatly removed the sunglasses, and the fencer’s face was finally revealed. As expected, it was Kim Abang. When he saw Seo Taerim, Kim Abang grinned brightly as if he had never been suspected of an assassination attempt, and gave him a thumbs-up.

“Phew, I almost died! Taerim-ssi, I’ll give you 100 points!”

Seo Taerim frowned at the sight of Kim Abang’s flushed face, reddened from his struggle with the scarf, as he gave a thumbs-up. Seo Taerim could not tell what clothes Kim Abang was wearing under the sack, but judging from the face color alone, they looked like they were in a couple look.

“Forget 100 points… What is all this? The scarf, the sunglasses… and just now, what was that about the sea and jjamppong?”

When Seo Taerim asked, Kim Abang’s eyes sparkled, and he carefully took the notebook from his chest and handed it to him.

“…What is this suspicious notebook?”

Seo Taerim pushed the notebook back toward Kim Abang as he spoke. But he immediately felt embarrassed at his own words. The notebook plastered with the popular character Bunny Bunny had nothing suspicious or mysterious about it at all.

“Don’t say that, just read it!”

Kim Abang urged him once more.

“……”

Seo Taerim hesitated a little, then accepted the notebook. He opened the cover and began to read aloud from the first page.

“With Bang Bang….”

Seo Taerim lifted his head with a confused expression.

“Kim Abang-ssi’s car?”

Kim Abang shook his head in frustration.

“It’s my nickname. Don’t worry about such trivial things and keep reading.”

When Kim Abang urged him, Seo Taerim had no choice but to turn his eyes back to the notebook and resume reading.

“…Press conference Q&A coping ability test with Bang Bang. Test of improvisation skills of me and Taerim-ssi in a crisis situation. Due to time constraints, other procedures will be omitted and the process will be simplified into three steps….”

Seo Taerim stopped reading and blinked.

“Are we doing this right now? I forgot and didn’t prepare any expected answers.”

“Ah, that part was already done earlier, so you can skip it.”

“…? Done earlier? When? I don’t remember.”

“No, we did it earlier.”

“…? When did we do it?”

“Noo~ we did it earlier, when you chose between jjamppong and jajangmyeon!”

“????”

“You also said you preferred jajangmyeon!”

“T-that… that was the press conference Q&A coping ability test???”

“It’s not improvisation, it’s coping ability. Coping. Ability.”

Kim Abang pronounced each word clearly. Seo Taerim felt like he was going crazy.

“Wh…! That’s not the important part…!”

“…? Then what is important?”

Kim Abang looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“That’s… ha…”

Seo Taerim was about to argue, but when he saw Kim Abang’s clear face he let out a deep sigh. Then, forgetting he had carefully styled his hair with pomade, he roughly ruffled it and lifted his head.

“…So that’s it? That’s the end? The end of the press conference preparation?”

When Seo Taerim kept asking again and again, “The end? Really the end?” with suspicion, Kim Abang, thinking maybe Seo Taerim was sick, reached out to check his forehead, then realized something and sighed.

“Ah… Taerim-ssi, do you need another test?”

Kim Abang kindly asked as he picked up the mop. Hearing that, Seo Taerim quickly snatched the mop out of his hand and rolled it away down the hallway.

“Oh, my mop…”

Kim Abang tried to check on the mop’s condition, but Seo Taerim blocked his way and flashed a handsome smile.

“I stopped reading the notebook earlier, right? I’ll finish reading it.”

“Oh, really?”

Kim Abang brightened. Since Seo Taerim, who had kept stalling with distractions, now said himself that he would continue reading, Kim Abang had no reason to object. Seo Taerim turned the pages of the notebook this time with an eager hand.

“The important thing is to practice as if it were the real situation. And we must be fully prepared in case the real situation turns out to be the worst case. The worst case is if Taerim-ssi suffers from amnesia…”

Seo Taerim wanted to keep reading, but at this point he had one simple question.

“But why does Kim Abang-ssi keep assuming I’ll get amnesia?”

At Seo Taerim’s question, Kim Abang waved his hand as if telling him not to worry.

“You never know. Anyway, keep reading.”

Seo Taerim reluctantly went back to the notebook.

“…The worst case is if Taerim-ssi suffers from amnesia and cannot recognize me. Therefore, the supplies are a sack, a scarf, and sunglasses for disguise, a notebook and pen to check the progress, and Taerim-ssi, who cannot recognize me. Continued on the next page due to lack of space.”

Seo Taerim turned the page. There, in round handwriting, the following was written:

<Test results> Taerim-ssi: 100 points. Me: 100000000000 points!!

“Ta-da!!! It’s really 100 points! I absolutely never lie, right?”

Kim Abang shouted with a big smile.

“……”

Seo Taerim was speechless. He was dumbfounded. It was absurd enough that preparing for a press conference Q&A was done through some kind of telepathy test with jajangmyeon and jjamppong, absurd that Kim Abang had shown up with a sack on his head just to simulate a scenario where Seo Taerim didn’t recognize him, but above all, the most absurd thing was the score he had received. Of course, since the test had been dumped on him suddenly, he had answered with a rather dumb expression, but he thought he had done much better than an average person.

…Calm down. It could be an absolute grading system.’

Seo Taerim tried to open up to different possibilities. But it gave him no comfort at all. It wasn’t a hundred or a thousand people taking the test, it was only the two of them, so how could he not compare? He had survived Korea’s entrance exam war about ten years ago, he unconsciously started counting how many zeros trailed behind Kim Abang’s score, and sank into despair. But for top student Kim Abang, such feelings did not apply.

“Even in this kind of urgent situation where we don’t recognize each other at all, Taerim-ssi and I work together perfectly. Now it doesn’t matter what questions come up at the press conference.”

Kim Abang spoke excitedly, then suddenly furrowed his brow.

“Ah, but I feel like I forgot something… huh!”

He suddenly looked startled and smacked his fist into his palm.

“That’s right, the deck! I haven’t even checked it once yet! This is bad!”

Kim Abang ripped off the sack and threw it into a corner of the hallway, then ran up the nearby stairs. Five seconds later, the sound of pounding footsteps came again as he ran back down, grabbed the hand of Seo Taerim who was still standing there frozen like a stone, and shouted.

“I almost left you behind!”

He pulled Seo Taerim along and rushed up the stairs again.

“…I got 100 points…”

Seo Taerim muttered weakly as he was dragged along like a flimsy paper doll cut out of a school notice.

1. in the original text, the substitution was shown with English letters. ↩︎
2. He’s the hero of the classic Korean novel The Story of Hong Gildong (홍길동전), written in the 17th century.“Hong Gildong” is used as a placeholder name, just like “John Doe” in English. ↩︎
3. pill formulated with thirty odd herbs and other medicinal ingredients. It is used to treat various symptoms, such as numb limbs and fit of apoplexy, epilepsy, and others in traditional Korean medicine. ↩︎
4. Jajangmyeon: noodles with black bean paste sauce. Jjamppong: spicy noodle soup with seafood and vegetables,. ↩︎