HPV 88

There was no response from inside. I closed my eyes and pressed my ear to the door.

Hearing nothing—not even the slightest sign of life—I tilted my head and pressed my forehead gently against the door.

My hair brushed against my ear, making a faint rustling sound.

“…It’s me. May I come in?”

I still had no sixth sense sharp enough to detect his presence. Yet somehow, I knew he was there. I knew he was listening to my voice.

“Don’t come in.”

A cold voice came from somewhere deep inside the room, far from the door.

So the nightmare hadn’t been just a dream. Even though I had braced myself, my neck grew cold, and I lowered my head.

I stared at the tips of my toes, just a hand’s width away from the door.

He had told me not to come in, but turning away immediately wasn’t so easy.

Sensing my hesitation, he sharpened his voice even further.

“I don’t want to see your face. I don’t want to hear your voice. I don’t even want to think about you. Go back to your room.”

I had broken the promise I made to him—the first and only promise we had ever made, despite always being at odds.

It had been a grave promise, one that staked our very lives.

What would have happened to him if I had died and failed to come back? My hand slipped from the doorknob.

I realized then that even just standing in front of his door was causing him turmoil.

Since he had ordered me back to my room, I gave up any thought of finding the others. I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes.

***

Once the news of my awakening spread, the others came by my room one by one.

“We ought to tie you up tight next time.”

It seemed their main reason for visiting was to scold me.

Starting with Penzey, not one of them held back in giving me a thorough lecture.

Even Bzhan gave me a stern warning: if I ever pulled something like that again, he wouldn’t let it slide.

They tried to be harsh, but their eyes betrayed them.

Their gazes were soft, as if imagining the fear and pain I must have gone through.

“You had no obligation to do that. I don’t even feel grateful. You stole a duty that was mine.”

Yurichen sighed repeatedly.

I could only imagine how crushed his pride must have been.

I chose the least troublesome excuse I could think of—though it had already failed once before, with another man.

“I just… thought I might survive if it was me.”

If Yurichen had stabbed himself instead, would he have survived?

The answer was no.

Holy power, borrowed from the gods, and the holy relics, which were fragments of the divine—if Yurichen had been wounded by the holy sword, it would have left a stigma, an unhealable mark.

That was why I alone had been the proper candidate.

Spirits were different from gods. Their healing powers weren’t affected by the holy sword.

“A heretic’s victory, huh.”

Penzey just had to choose those particular words, making it harder to smooth things over with Yurichen.

“I respect your decision. I believe you. You were the smartest among us.”

Penzey’s words were a little awkward, but it sounded like he was trying to defend me.

He even puffed up a little in front of Yurichen, though his voice trembled slightly.

“Why would you do that? No one asked you to!”

That much, I could endure—but even Paronai scolding me felt unfair.

He was the one whose soul had almost been destroyed, whose body had become so frail he couldn’t even feed himself and had to be cared for in bed. And besides, he was younger than me!

The doctors at Gerenique Castle examined Paronai with grim faces, but thankfully, they declared that he would recover without any permanent damage.

They called it a miracle, over and over.

“Where’s Banwes?”

Paronai, who had been the last to wake up, asked as he was spoon-fed porridge by a servant.

In a light voice, I answered briefly, “In his room.”

Then I fell silent. Banwes hadn’t come to see me. Nor had he allowed me to see him the night before.

Thinking about it now, I realized the difference between Paronai and the other three.

Paronai had been unconscious the whole time. He had only heard secondhand about my sacrifice with the holy sword.

That was why he alone asked about Banwes—why he wondered why Banwes wasn’t by my side.

The other three hadn’t spoken a single word about Banwes in my presence. I had regained enough strength to walk.

Since moving around would help my recovery, I walked around Gerenique Castle, taking Bzhan with me.

The Black Dragon had been subjugated, and the monster wave was completely over.

The deployed reinforcements rejoiced in their victory and began preparing to return to their respective homes. The atmosphere was hectic but bright.

As I was walking, I ran into Tilly again.

“Hero! Welcome back. I even went to visit you while you were recovering, but you were sleeping so sweetly like a prince, you didn’t notice at all.”

Tilly seemed to bring me food every time we met. This time, she handed me some dried crackers with peanuts and a fermented mare’s milk drink.

Talking with Tilly was always pleasant. But still, was it really okay for me to be laughing and chatting like this with her?

Banwes was still locked up in his room, angry because of me…

“You and I will be parting ways soon. I’m leaving for my homeland tomorrow,” Tilly said.

She taught me how to write letters so we could keep in touch. I nodded along as she spoke, waiting for the right moment to steer the conversation elsewhere.

In truth, I had followed her to ask her something.

“Have you ever heard your spirit’s voice?”

“You mean the Jemanium Spirit?”

Tilly wrinkled her nose slightly, as if I’d said something bizarre.

“Spirits talking? Spirits are part of nature. They just exist where they are. Let me put it bluntly—you think you can have a chat with the earth or the ground? It’s not about words; it’s about sensing and communicating without speech.”

She looked like she was about to press me for why I was asking such a strange question, so I quickly waved it off, pretending it was nothing.

Spirits can’t talk…?

[Child. Do you wish to leave?]

[In exchange, give me your…]

[You have found it. That which is you.]

[Are you curious, child?]

At first, I had thought the voice was that of the demon.

But if it were truly a demon, it wouldn’t have willingly stabbed itself with the Holy Sword—that would be suicide.

The events at the end had overturned all my previous assumptions.

The being that had helped me escape.

The one that had teleported me from the castle to the Black Dragon’s nest.

The one that had guided my hand to drive the Holy Sword into my own chest.

The demon had disappeared, but after being pierced by the sword, there was no way I could have survived.

Yet it was the power of the Rohin Spirit that had saved me.

If it was indeed the Rohin Spirit watching over me and helping me all along, a lot of the puzzle pieces fit together.

Except for the fact that I’ve never once sensed a spirit’s presence in my life, let alone communicated with one…

And according to Tilly, who hailed from Jemanium, a land full of spirit wielders, spirits are fundamentally different from gods and cannot communicate with humans through words.

So was the voice I heard the demon’s, and the Rohin Spirit the one that guided me to stab myself with the Holy Sword?

Piecing it together like that, everything suddenly made sense.

Did that mean there had been a tug-of-war between two beings inside me?

After running through all the arguments in my head, I felt dizzy.

I brewed some herbal tea using the kettle Penzey had left behind and sipped it slowly.

Wrapping both hands around the warm cup, my mind grew dim.

‘If you were going to confuse me like this now, why didn’t you try to connect with me sooner?’

Was it because of Hancanera?

Did Hancanera monopolize it?

My hands started trembling slightly, even though it wasn’t cold. I pressed the teacup firmly against my knee to steady myself.

I needed to learn more about the Rohin Spirit.

***

The Hero’s party had concluded their journey.

We set out on the road back to the capital.

On the way back, the mages who had gathered at Gerenique Castle prepared teleportation spells for us.

They didn’t have enough power to teleport us all the way to the capital at once, so we had to teleport multiple times.

Mages were stationed at various outposts, and between those points, we would travel by carriage.

I kept sneaking glances at Banwes, who had finally come out of his room.

No matter what anyone said, Banwes was still part of the Hero’s party that had saved the world.

The berserk state had been completely dispelled, and there was nothing strange about his appearance now.

But… animals don’t know any of that. The horses still refused to let Banwes ride them. No miracle happened there.

So Banwes decided to walk while the rest of us rode in carriages.

“I’ll walk too,” I said.

Partly to get his attention, and partly because I meant it. Banwes shot me a rough look, just like he used to at the beginning of our journey.

It felt strangely unfamiliar now. I bit my lip lightly.

“Don’t act on your own anymore.”

The words hit harder than I expected. It didn’t feel like a warning just for this situation.

“I’m not going to carry you,” he added.

Being rejected now, after everything, didn’t feel good at all.

I just stared blankly at Banwes as Yurichen instructed him on directions.

“It’s like we’re back to how it used to be.”

The cold wind was howling. Paronai muttered quietly beside me.

And Penzey said something oddly out of place:

“Cold wind? To me, it feels burning hot…”