Chapter 38.1

After speaking, Jiang Zhihuo didn’t care at all about Yan Mu’s expression or reaction. He changed into slippers and shut himself in the bathroom

He placed both hands on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror.

The corners of his eyes, his cheeks, earlobes, and neck were completely red, as if he had just been fiercely bullied.

Every time after a kiss, Jiang Zhihuo knew that he always had this exact expression.

Jiang Zhihuo wasn’t sure whether he had gotten used to it or not. The action that had been repeated several times a day for over two months had virtually become an unavoidable reflex. The moment the heat surged up in him, his first instinct was to throw himself at Yan Mu, wanting to touch him, kiss him, and smell his pheromones.

……

Jiang Zhihuo, You should sober up!

Ahhhh!

Jiang Zhihuo splashed a handful of cold water onto his face, then patted his cheeks several times. Only after all the unnatural redness faded did he take a deep breath, open the door, and walk out.

Yan Mu didn’t react much to what had just occurred, remaining calm and organized as usual. By the time Jiang Zhihuo came out, he had already changed out of his school uniform, and the bag containing the inhibitors was placed by the bed.

It was dinner time.

Jiang Zhihuo forced himself to forget the embarrassing scene that had just happened, then pretended to ask calmly, “Order takeout yet?”

Yan Mu: “Not yet.”

Jiang Zhihuo: “Together?”

Yan Mu: “Mhm.”

Just like any other day when ordering takeout, Jiang Zhihuo sat next to Yan Mu and asked, “Noodles? Or rice?”

Yan Mu answered, “Rice.”

Jiang Zhihuo picked a few places that had acceptable reviews. “Grilled meat rice? Chicken soup rice? I guess chicken soup rice. I feel like having soup.”

Yan Mu: “Okay.”

After placing the order, Jiang Zhihuo put the inhibitor into his bag and intuitively said, “You study. I’ll go out.”

Yan Mu stopped him. “I wasn’t planning to study.”

“Oh.” Jiang Zhihuo glanced at Yan Mu in confusion. “So what now?”

Yan Mu: “…No need to go out.”

Since Yan Mu said so, Jiang Zhihuo didn’t hold back anymore.

The bed was definitely more comfortable than the sofa.

He put on his earphones, opened a shooting game, and started a casual match. Not long after, the takeaway arrived. The two of them had a quiet dinner together. After clearing the table and disposing of the trash, they washed their hands. Jiang Zhihuo took out a special inhibitor, holding it in his hand, constantly reminding himself: Test the drug, test the drug; don’t pounce on him.

An hour and a half was very short; before long, it had passed.

When the heat started to swell up again within his body, Jiang Zhihuo bit open the cap of the special inhibitor and injected it into his glands.

As the drug was injected, a wave of soreness and numbness spread through the back of his neck. Eventually, the overwhelming pain eased after a short wait. Apart from a thin layer of sweat on his back, there was no other abnormality.

Jiang Zhihuo stared incredulously at the already empty syringe.

It truly… worked…

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

In this scene, Jiang Zhihuo should have been happy, cheering, but instead he felt an unbearable sense of loss, a profound sense of loss.

After a long silence, it was Yan Mu who gently clapped first, his palms opening and closing with two very perfunctory sounds. Then, his fingers interlocked, and his thumbs overlapped. “It worked, congratulations.”

Jiang Zhihuo shifted his gaze from the syringe, staring blankly at him. A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Ah, thanks, and congratulations to you too. You’re free now. I promised you, once there’s progress, I’d leave and return you to your white moonlight.”

Upon hearing this, Yan Mu furrowed his brows, gazing intently at Jiang Zhihuo’s face.

His pupils were deep, making it impossible to tell what he was really thinking. After a moment, he simply hummed, then asked, “When?”

“Tomorrow, maybe?” Jiang Zhihuo said. “I have a shift tonight. I’ll probably be back pretty late.”

Yan Mu: “……”

He didn’t speak.

The living room fell into an awkward silence once more.

At 6:55 PM, Yan Mu went to school for evening self-study, while Jiang Zhihuo put on his clothes and headed to the bar.

At this time, the nightlife hadn’t yet started, so the bar was busiest from 9 PM to 2 AM. There weren’t many people around. It was empty and silent in the vast space.

Jiang Zhihuo arrived at his workplace early and changed into his work uniform, a shirt, pants, and vest. Wiping the upside-down glasses until they were spotless, he meticulously tidied the bar counter.

Although his movements were focused, his eyes showed little expression, as if he was thinking far, far away.

Qu Xiao reached out and snapped his fingers in front of Jiang Zhihuo, saying wistfully, “One Moscow Sunrise, please.”

As soon as Jiang Zhihuo came to his senses, he mixed vodka and rum with orange juice and lemon juice, shook it well, and poured it into the glass. After waiting for the layers of differently soluble liquids to separate, he added a thin layer of cream on top, decorated with a cherry and mint leaf.

Faced with a cocktail that had both good looks and great taste, Qu Xiao didn’t even spare it a glance. He downed it in one go and slammed the glass heavily onto the table, letting out a long sigh: “Ai!”

Keeping his character, Jiang Zhihuo lowered his eyes indifferently and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Seeing the cream left at the bottom of his glass, Qu Xiao sighed. “I got dumped.”

“I got dumped after just three days. Three days!!” Qu Xiao held up three fingers.

He couldn’t even figure out why the girl dumped him. Covering his face in frustration, he said, “I don’t even know what I did wrong! She asked me out the night before. I was playing a game and didn’t see the message. By the time I did, I had already been blocked and deleted.”

“So what did I do wrong?”

Jiang Zhihuo: “……”

Qu Xiao handed Jiang Zhihuo his glass after he finished speaking, who washed it carefully.

A cold, high-and-mighty Shin was not the kind of person that Qu Xiao would expect to say something comforting. After sulking by himself for a while, he realized that Shin was also not quite right. He was still washing the same glass even though he had been doing so for ten minutes.

“What’s wrong with you?” Qu Xiao asked.

Jiang Zhihuo continued to focus on tidying up the bar counter. After a moment, he said, “I’m moving.”

Qu Xiao wasn’t new to heartbreak, so he adjusted quickly. He said, “Moving’s a good thing; congrats.”

The words stunned Jiang Zhihuo for a moment. “Yeah, it should be a happy thing, but right now I don’t feel all that happy about it.”

Qu Xiao casually picked up a glass, poured himself some warm water, and clinked with the empty glass.

The sound of the two glasses clinking was very crisp.

Just as Qu Xiao was about to speak, Jiang Zhihuo pulled off his gloves and said, “Boss, I’m taking the night off.”

Shin had always done things his own way. Without waiting for the boss’s approval, he turned and walked off. By the time Qu Xiao came to his senses, all he could see was Shin’s retreating figure.

Qu Xiao: “……”

He downed two cups of warm water, staring at the empty bar as if the whole world had lost its meaning. Then, without thinking, he began firing off frantic messages to Yan Mu.

Qu Xiao: Young Master Yan, Young Master Yan, Young Master Yan.

Qu Xiao: I’m heartbroken.

Qu Xiao: After I finished the game, the girl deleted me. What did I do wrong?

Yan Mu didn’t reply.

As it was nearing the second evening self-study session, it was expected that Young Master Yan wouldn’t reply. Qu Xiao didn’t care and kept performing his one-man show.

Qu Xiao: I’m not the only one feeling bad today.

Qu Xiao: Shin doesn’t look too good either.

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: ?

Qu Xiao: What is this? When I’m heartbroken, you ignore me, but the moment Shin is mentioned, you respond instantly?

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: You don’t know?

Qu Xiao: By the way, are you two completely broken up?

Qu Xiao: Was the confession thing really because you were drunk, or was it for real?

Qu Xiao: Young Master Yan, tell me, you’ve really driven me crazy.

Qu Xiao: Seeing Shin like that, I feel embarrassed asking him directly.

Yan Mu still said those four words.

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: ……

Qu Xiao: I’m not exactly sure. He said something about moving, that he’s not happy. He just asked for leave and left.

In the senior year, in Class 4, everyone was immersed in solving problems; it was so quiet that it resembled a still pool of water, broken only by the soft sound of pens gliding across the paper.

Suddenly, from the back of the classroom, there was a rushed sound of a chair scraping against the floor.

Everyone turned to look, only to see Yan Mu suddenly stand up from his seat and hurriedly exit the classroom without glancing back.

“Xie Qu, Xie Qu.” People around asked quietly, “What’s wrong with Yan-ge?”

Xie Qu was similarly puzzled and replied, “I don’t know.”

Yan Mu had been behaving oddly tonight. He seemed distracted and lost in thought, his eyes fixated on one spot in a daze. When questioned, he remained silent.

After thinking for a moment, Xie Qu remarked, “Yan-ge acts exactly like someone who’s been through a heartbreak.”

*

Yan Mu entered the office and casually mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well and needed to take leave. The Class 4 homeroom teacher, trusting the top student, quickly approved his request without question and even reminded him to take care of himself.

Upon leaving the school gate, Yan Mu dialed Jiang Zhihuo’s phone and headed in the direction of his home.

Yan Mu: “Where are you?”

The other end of the phone was very quiet.

Jiang Zhihuo: “I’m at the bar; what’s the matter?”

Yan Mu: “It’s very quiet.”

Jiang Zhihuo: “I’m in the changing room; of course it’s quiet.”

Once he completed his sentence, the elevator doors opened. Jiang Zhihuo, who had claimed he was in the bar’s changing room only seconds before, tilted his head, phone in hand, and exited with a suitcase.

The call hadn’t disconnected. The distance was too short, and a faint buzzing noise from the phone could be heard.

Jiang Zhihuo awkwardly smiled. “What a coincidence.”

Despite being in front of each other, the sound echoed from the phone again.

Yan Mu hung up the phone.

He approached Jiang Zhihuo, grabbed his suitcase, and said, “I’ll see you off.”

Jiang Zhihuo had few belongings. Typically, all his things were packed inside it, allowing him to simply close the lid, zip it up, and leave when the time came.

Yan Mu’s actions were too forceful, leaving Jiang Zhihuo no chance to refuse. He could only reply blandly, “Okay.”

The journey was undoubtedly awkward, likely because he had been caught attempting to sneak away. Jiang Zhihuo thought that Yan Mu’s idea of ‘sending off’ only meant going to the bus stop, but he didn’t anticipate that Yan Mu would accompany him onto the bus.

They were in the last row of the bus, and even as it drove into the lane, the awkwardness between them remained unresolved.

Jiang Zhihuo leaned against the window, using the excuse of looking at the scenery to avoid looking or talking to Yan Mu.

The night view passed by the window; the neon lights couldn’t keep up with the wind, all left behind.

Jiang Zhihuo’s home was in the old district, a forty-minute trip from where he was. The bus stop was located at the entrance of a narrow alley, flanked by crumbling houses on either side. At the end of the street, a century-old banyan tree with intertwining roots stood tall. The cool evening breeze brought a few whiffs of osmanthus fragrance, wafting through the old streets and alleys.

Jiang Zhihuo paused in front of a residential building, grabbed his suitcase, and said, “I’ve arrived, thanks.”

Thank you for these days and for tonight.

Yan Mu didn’t say anything, only let out an, “Mhm.”

Jiang Zhihuo waved his hand.

Yan Mu nodded and turned around.

Beneath the dim light, the two shadows extended, one stretching ahead while the other rose, becoming further apart.

*

Jiang Zhihuo stayed in a small single room on the fifth floor, and since he hadn’t been back in more than two months, dust had settled everywhere. After a quick tidy-up and replacing the bedsheets with a new set, he lay down.

After Li Muhe began university, he chose not to live with Li Hao and instead rented a single room on his own. Jiang Zhihuo, who was initially very adaptable, remodeled the space. At first, he enjoyed the freedom of living independently; the rent was low, and his part-time job income was sufficient, leaving some extra to save. However, now that he had returned, he felt discomfort. Everything seemed cramped and worn, and the bed was uncomfortable.

Has it been long? Less than two hours? He was already yearning for Yan Mu’s spacious bed and comfortable spring mattress.

Jiang Zhihuo held back the sadness in his heart, kept his eyes closed for a while, and ultimately fell into an uneasy, restless slumber.