IPDT 1

The greatest living being on Earth, the source of mana, and the balancer of the world. The great, intelligent being indicated by that holy word, a dragon, that was me.

“…I’m bored, so bored I could die.”

And right now, that great intelligent being was on the verge of dying from boredom.

“Fleabag.”

“Yes, Master.”

My familiar, ‘Fleabag’, kneeled on one knee and showed his respects. Fleabag was a cat. A cat with cheese-colored fur packed densely on his back and white fur growing on his muzzle.

Two thousand years ago, he was a stray cat who could not even speak, but he brazenly loitered around my lair like a fleabag, so I made him my familiar. Those who become familiars become the loyal subordinates of a dragon, and animals that are not human become able to stand on two feet like humans or even speak.

I pressed Fleabag’s pink jelly bean toes repeatedly while sprawled out on the rug. Claws popped out and retracted from his cotton-like paws over and over.

“Is there anything interesting happening in the outside world?”

“The daughter of the Dwarf chieftain is said to be getting married.”

“Is that special? Isn’t there anything special other than that kind of thing.”

“That is…”

Fleabag swished his tail, which he had let stretch out on the floor. I snorted, hmph. When Fleabag wags his tail like that, it meant ‘I don’t really know’.

“I apologize.”

Fleabag bowed his head deeply. His ears, which had been pointed toward the sky, drooped down. Leaving the cat with his utterly pitiful expression, I flopped down on my back on the floor. When you have lived for over a hundred thousand years, this thing starts to seem like that thing, and that thing starts to seem like this thing. It meant that nothing I saw was interesting, just dull.

“I’m bored. This isn’t fun. I’m so boooored…”

As I was mumbling with my face buried in the rug, Fleabag’s front paw touched the back of my head.

“Master.”

“What is it, Fleabag.”

“Forgive my presumptuous words, but… how about visiting the human realm?”

“The human realm?”

I glanced up to look at Fleabag. Fleabag, wearing a black bow tie around his neck, nodded his head.

“Yes. Was it not 1500 years ago that you last visited the human realm? The world has likely changed a great deal during that time.”

“Hmm… Well, 1500 years is a long time for humans. You’re making a rather persuasive argument, aren’t you?”

I shot up from my body that had been sprawled on the rug. I saw the startled Fleabag fluff up his tail into a puff, but I paid it no mind.

1500 years ago, I had explored the human realm until I was sick of it and vowed not to go for a while, but then again, aren’t resolutions made to be broken?

“Alright, shall we go then?”

I stretched my stiff body and extended both hands forward. It was a hassle to conceal my enormous true form, so I always spent my time in a human body, which meant there was no need to polymorph.

“Master!”

Crack, CRACK! As I infused mana, the empty air tore open, revealing a gate leading to the human realm. A gust of wind blowing from beyond the gate wildly shook my hair and the hem of my clothes. Fleabag’s body, which had hastily climbed onto my shoulder, also fluttered like a leaf hanging from a branch.

“Fleabag, hold on tight.”

Without hesitation, I threw myself beyond the gate. I felt the flow of mana, gentle like a soft breeze. I pleasantly closed my eyes and opened them, and we were suddenly in the middle of a forest in the human realm.

“Ah, we’ve arrived.”

“Uuurgh.”

Rustle. No sooner had I stepped on the fresh grass than Fleabag started to retch. Fleabag’s face was pale as he braced one hand against a tree and went retch, retch. Ah, right, I forgot again. That the side effect of teleportation magic is motion sickness. I patted Fleabag’s back gently, pat, pat.

“Fleabag, are you okay?”

“Thank, urp, thank you Mast, uurp.”

“Either talk or vomit, pick one.”

With the sound of Fleabag’s retching as a backdrop, I surveyed the surroundings. The lush forest trembled in the fresh breeze. I gazed blankly at the forest, then called for Fleabag.

“By the way, Fleabag.”

“Yes, Master…”

“Where was this place again?”

I was sure I had been here in the past, but I could not remember where the exit of the forest was. Fleabag, who had barely managed to stop his retching, looked at me as if I were pathetic before starting to trudge ahead.

“Hmph.”

I considered turning the disrespectful Fleabag into a mouse but decided to hold back. If Fleabag became a mouse, there would be no animal to act as a guide.

“Fleabag, let’s go together.”

“I understand.”

I hummed a tune while walking in step with Fleabag. Could it be because this was my first time in the human realm in 1500 years? For some reason, I had a feeling that something enjoyable was about to happen.

*

“Cheap, get ’em cheap!”

“These are accessories made from pumpkins! Come have a look!”

The narrow street was lined with stalls on both sides. Even though the sun was setting, the merchants showed no signs of fatigue as they called out to customers.

“Fleabag, they call this market a night market?”

「That is correct. 1500 years have passed, so the human world has changed a great deal. Something called a light bulb, which uses magic to create fire, has been developed, so now they even hold markets at night.」

“You know a lot, don’t you?”

「That is because I am a familiar specialized in information gathering. Just as the Great Balancer of the World, Mr. Ilyas, has arranged.」

“Leave out the ‘Great Balancer of the World’ part. People might find out I’m a dragon.”

「My apologies.」

Fleabag’s words were audible only to me. This was, well, something like telepathy. Because all hell would break loose if Fleabag spoke in the human realm. People would talk about the ‘talking cat’ and the ‘owner who goes around with a talking cat’.

“That aside, Fleabag, look over there. That grilled fish looks delicious. Should we get some?”

「An excellent choice, Master!」

I took the happily hopping Fleabag and approached a street stall. The smell of the fish sizzling on the grill stimulated my appetite. Swallowing my saliva with a gulp, I held up two fingers.

“Give me two fish skewers.”

“Two of them? It looks like one would be plenty for a young master like you.”

The merchant with a bushy beard pointed at the fish with his finger. The fish, its surface glistening with oil, was about the size of my head.

“It doesn’t matter, just give them to me. Is this not enough money?”

Since Fleabag had to eat too, I needed two. I took a gold coin out of my pocket. The merchant’s eyes widened.

“Ah, no, a gold coin… We can’t give change for such a large amount of money at our stall.”

“I don’t need the change. Take it.”

Flick. With a flick of my finger, the gold coin floated in the air, spun around, and landed in the merchant’s hand. If you have received the money, you should get to work quickly. When I gestured with my chin with that meaning, the merchant hastily handed over the fish.

“I’ll enjoy the meal.”

“Have a good day!”

I walked away, leaving the bowing merchant behind me. A sense of contentment washed over me as I held two large fish in both hands. With Fleabag, who was weaving figure eights around my feet with sparkling eyes, I sat down on a bench.

“Here, eat up.”

I placed a fish in front of Fleabag. After fussing for a moment because it was hot, Fleabag soon gripped the fish skillfully and began to eat with a chomp chomp.

After confirming that Fleabag was eating, I also took a bite of the fish. The white, tender meat tasted salty. It disappeared as if melting snow, even though I had not chewed it more than a few times. The deliciousness made me smile involuntarily.

As I was thoroughly enjoying the human food I had not had in a long time, Fleabag’s head shot up. Then he started to look around as if searching for something.

“Is something wrong?”

「Master, strange humans are loitering around us.」

Fleabag licked his oil-smeared mouth with his tongue. His green pupils narrowed like a snake’s.

“Leave them be. They’re probably just humans taking a walk nearby. If you get sensitive about every little thing in the human realm, you won’t be able to stay long.”

「Is that so?」

“Yes.”

I answered indifferently and swallowed a bite of fish with a gulp. I was quite mature now, but I used to be very sensitive in the old days. That was why I would unleash my anger on the human realm at the slightest provocation, to the extent that it was recorded as a disaster that would go down in human history. Of course, Fleabag was not born then, so he would not know.

「Master.」

“What?”

Fleabag called me again as I was reminiscing about the past.

「One of the strange humans has pulled out a knife.」

“A knife?”

No sooner had I asked than a sharp, blue blade touched my neck. Huh. I blinked my eyes blankly.

“Hey, young master. What are you doing out here without a single guard, huh? I saw you at the stall earlier, you seemed to have a lot of money, but not enough to hire a guard? Anyway, if you value your life, you’ll do as I say.”

The human with a thuggish voice pointed to a nearby alley with his finger.

“Get up quickly and go into that alley. If you just hand over everything you have, I’ll let you go peacefully.”

“Grrrr…“

“Shhh.”

Fleabag’s fur stood on end and he arched his back. He was in a posture as if he would attack at any moment. I hurriedly brought a finger to my lips and shook my head.

「Master, why are you stopping me! I shall be the one to end this insolent human’s life!」

“Wait here.”

I gave the fuming Fleabag an order and stood up from my seat. For all my appearances, I am the great and mighty dragon, so using my power on a mere human was a bit much, wasn’t it? Since he said he would let me go if I gave him a few coins, I planned to just give it to him and smooth things over.

“What a feisty cat.”

The human sneered at Fleabag, who was making a grrrrowl sound. I glanced back at Fleabag pitifully as I walked toward the alley. To be ignored by a human who was not even a claw’s length away must be infuriating for Fleabag. Just bear with it for a little while, Fleabag. I’ll give him the money and be right back.

As I entered the alley, the stench of urine and sewage wafted out. My brow furrowed on its own. It seemed that even after 1500 years, this unsanitary ecosystem was unavoidable. I quickly pulled up my sleeve to cover my nose and mouth.

“Now, young master.”

The human who had been holding the knife to my body pushed me against the wall. It was a force that did not even tickle, but I awkwardly staggered a couple of steps. Then, a group of humans, I do not know where they came from, surrounded me in a circle.

“You’ll hand over everything you have peacefully, won’t you?”

“Here, take it.”

I threw the coin pouch I had at my waist onto the ground. Clink. No sooner had the sound of gold coins clashing been heard than the humans rushed toward the pouch. The humans who hastily untied the mouth of the pouch opened their eyes wide.

“Hah, holy shit, how much is all this.”

“With this much money, we could eat and play for a year!”