IOB Ch 12

Why do family gatherings even exist? The idea that we have to regularly see each other just because we’re family feels like it might be a prejudice. Just because the same blood flows through our organic bodies, it’s as if we’re supposed to act like we’re especially close…

I was lost in these kinds of thoughts while being held up by my eldest brother. This year, too, the damned birthday of Mr. Choi rolled around, and I dragged my heavy legs to the family home. My eldest brother and his wife, who had moved out but recently returned, greeted me with stern faces.

“I have something to say.”

My eldest brother opened the conversation curtly. Without even giving me a chance to greet my nephew, he led me to the study. He sat on the sofa, and I stood before him like a student being punished. I felt like a cow being led to the slaughterhouse.

As I glanced around, an unfamiliar stuffed animal caught my eye. JaeYoung Choi, the eldest son of Jaeyu Group, has a hobby of hunting and taxidermy. His study was surrounded by animal carcasses.

He claims taxidermy is the aesthetic of stillness and an art form, but to me, a study lined with animal heads just feels eerie. My eldest brother is a control freak. It makes sense he’d find allure in taxidermy. It’s so like him to get excited about preserving something in perfect form that would have rotted away naturally.

The eldest, JaeYoung Choi, is a psychopath obsessed with control. The second, GeonYeong Choi, is a sex addict consumed by carnal desires. The third, DoWon Choi, is a cowardly mama’s boy who acts recklessly. And the youngest, me, is a pervert tormented by insomnia… No matter how I think about it, Mr. Choi’s bloodline is cursed. The genes should’ve ended with that old man.

“Choi Yisak.”

“Yeah.”

My eldest brother crossed his legs and looked me up and down. It wasn’t the gaze of someone looking at a person. Even an appraiser grading items would have a kinder look. After a long pause, his low voice finally resonated.

“You can like men. I understand fooling around with some guy whose background we don’t even know.”

“…”

I knew it would be about this. I had braced myself for it before coming to the family home, but even so, the back of my neck prickled, and goosebumps rose. I’m scared of this man. GeonYeong Choi was annoying, and DoWon Choi was pathetic, but my eldest brother has always been a terrifying presence.

When I was a kid, when GeonYeong Choi would hit me and torment me, my eldest brother wouldn’t even glance my way. Instead, whenever I got on his nerves, he’d silently send warnings.

Like when the parrot I was raising was suddenly found in the corner of the garden with its wings clipped, or when a stray cat I was quite fond of was left dead at our doorstep. I never asked directly, but I was certain it was all my eldest brother’s doing.

Memories from childhood I’d tried to forget resurfaced. And with them, the ranking of lunatics I’d mentally established shifted. Lately, Woo Seonrim had climbed to the top of the lunatic list, but upon reflection, my eldest brother, the traditional number one, might still hold the edge.

Of course, they’re both lunatics, just of slightly different breeds. If my eldest brother seems like an otherworldly being who wouldn’t bleed even if stabbed, Woo Seonrim feels like he’d revel in the situation while bleeding profusely. “Oh, the sound of blood dripping is nice, isn’t it? I’ll use it in a composition.” It wouldn’t surprise me if he said something like that with a laugh.

Still, Woo Seonrim has been acting more human lately. He cries, saying he’s disappointed, and even chatters playfully, trying to be cute. Based on actions alone, he’s far less repulsive than my eldest brother. Probably.

I couldn’t help but think of Woo Seonrim’s face, waiting for me at home. Oh, I forgot to tell him I’d be late today. I forgot to contact him. He’s the type to get sulky easily, so he’ll probably grumble when I see him later.

Then, my eldest brother, who had been quietly observing my expression, spoke, and a familiar name came up.

“His name was Woo Seonrim, right?”

“…Did you hear it from second hyung?”

“You knew it’d reach my ears anyway, so you asked GeonYeong Choi to pass it on, didn’t you?”

He’s right. I had prepared myself to ask for his help if needed. It was better to be honest if I had to rely on him. He’s not the kind of person who wouldn’t find out if I tried to hide something.

“Since when?”

“Huh?”

“How long have you been fooling around with a guy?”

I hesitated for a moment. My relationship with Woo Seonrim was hard to define clearly. Explaining it would make the story long and complicated.

To be honest, just two weeks ago, I would’ve denied being in that kind of relationship with Woo Seonrim, but now I can’t. We’ve really become something like that, halfway. After kissing Woo Seonrim and signing that sex contract a few days ago, we’ve been locking lips multiple times a day.

“I can only get musical inspiration when I kiss you, Director.”

Woo Seonrim would give that sly, irresistible excuse while leaning in for a kiss. Plus, even though I got him a fancy officetel, he’s still living at my place. It’s practically cohabitation. The environment was perfect for getting close.

“Choi Yisak. You’re not answering?”

My eldest brother sighed and spoke as if scolding a whiny child. He’s over ten years older than me, so it’s natural he sees me as a kid, but I couldn’t help feeling annoyed. I chewed my lips a couple of times and said,

“He’s… the first guy for me.”

“You’re causing this much chaos from the start. No, maybe it’s because it’s your first.”

“…”

“It’s been about two or three months since you met, right? What kind of bad habit is it to bring someone into your house without even doing a proper background check?”

My heart pounded uneasily. I was scared he might harm Woo Seonrim. If he judged someone to be a nuisance to the family, or specifically to himself, he’s the type to act without hesitation. I only managed to find Woo Seonrim again after over a decade—I couldn’t lose him again. I hurriedly rambled,

“It’s not that serious of a relationship. I’m keeping him around because we click musically. I’ll make sure it’s nothing for you to worry about, hyung.”

“You’re planning to manage him under your agency, right?”

“Yeah, uh, he doesn’t seem like a bad kid, you know? I already asked second hyung to handle it. I’ll make sure no rumors spread…”

I was about to say I’d clean up that guy’s past completely, just give him a pass this once, when my eldest brother suddenly cut in.

“Fine. You’ll handle it without damaging the group’s image. You’re good at that. He seems like a marketable guy, too.”

“Yeah, he’s a genius, hyung…”

My eldest brother clicked his tongue shortly.

“Then make good use of him. Don’t lose focus in the middle of your little love game.”

“…Got it. Wait, weren’t you going to scold me?”

I was flustered because the conversation flowed more smoothly than expected. I thought I’d be insulted and lectured with disgusted looks.

“I’m not so free as to meddle in your love life. Father’s unwell, you know.”

“…”

“While we’re on the topic, take care of Father. There’s no son he cherishes as much as you. Visit him often, keep him company.”

What? The conversation was getting weirder by the minute. Take care of Father? The eldest brother I know is far from filial. He’s definitely not the type to preach about righteousness and morality.

Besides, Mr. Choi isn’t even that sick right now. Right after his liver cancer diagnosis, it was a big deal, but since it was caught early, he’s recovering quickly. It even seems like he’s planning to return to active management duties after stepping back for a while.

While I was bewildered, my eldest brother stared at me intently and spoke.

“Yisak-ah.”

The unfamiliar tone and address sent a chill through my body. Something’s off. JaeYoung Choi speaking gently? I had a bad feeling that something incredibly dangerous was coming my way.

“Now that I think about it, all those matchmaking meetings must’ve been annoying. It must’ve been tough meeting women you don’t even like.”

“…”

“I’ll put a stop to the matchmaking meetings, so go ahead and enjoy your little romance for now. Love… it’s nice, isn’t it? I think it’s the first time I’ve seen you so into someone.”

With a rustle, my eldest brother stood up. His wrinkle-free eyes, youthful for someone in their 40s, looked even sharper. I instinctively flinched and took half a step back.

“Yisak-ah. I have no intention of denying or suppressing your identity.”

“…Really?”

“But you’ll have to listen to me from now on, right?”

“When have I ever defied you, hyung…”

“You’re gentle and warm-hearted, aren’t you? Maybe because you’re the youngest. You even feed stray cats.”

As I listened to my eldest brother’s measured words, the image of a dead cat sprawled at the doorstep suddenly flashed in my mind.

“You lovingly raised a bird with broken wings.”

To be precise, a bird with its wings cut by something sharp…

“If you have something you cherish, you have to live diligently.”

Only then did I realize the true nature of this strange one-on-one. My eldest brother didn’t call me here to quietly scold me about matchmaking. Damn it, he was threatening me.

۶ৎ

“Yisak-ah. Is the crab to your taste?”

“Yes, it’s delicious, Mother.”

I forced an awkward smile at my stepmother and reluctantly scooped a spoonful of crab. I barely held back a sigh at the dining table.

This year’s birthday for Mr. Choi was a modest affair with just immediate family. Usually, he’d invite extended relatives and throw lavish banquets to flaunt his influence, but this year, for some reason, he changed his mind. Sitting closely with my brothers made the food go down even harder.

I glanced at Mr. Choi. So, that man ages too, I thought. They said his cancer treatment was going smoothly, but he looked surprisingly unwell. He’d lost weight, and his hair was thinning.

Normally, I’d secretly rejoice at seeing Mr. Choi’s sickly face. But after my conversation with my eldest brother in the study, my heart kept growing heavier. The rice in my mouth felt like it was just rolling around. It was like chewing stones.

My eldest brother’s eerie voice wouldn’t leave my head.

“Since Father got sick… he’s become very wary. He doesn’t want me or GeonYeong near him. It’s quite disappointing.”

Mr. Choi must have sensed that his two sons were hoping for his quick death. My eldest brother seemed uneasy about Mr. Choi’s rapid recovery. From what I gathered, Mr. Choi had been openly favoring my stepmother and DoWon Choi lately.

It was causing a hitch in my eldest brother’s perfect succession plan. They say people get lonely and crave affection when they’re sick. Between the brilliant but cold eldest and the slightly dim but kind third son, the old man’s heart was leaning toward the latter.

“It’s like he’s getting dementia.”

My eldest brother said calmly. He treated Mr. Choi like an old man who’d gone senile.

“If Father keeps staying at the forefront of management, it’s only a matter of time before Jaeyu Group falters. So we need to let him go at the right time. Isn’t now that time?”

My eldest brother was planning to use me as a pawn. Or maybe a Trojan horse.

“What do I need to do?”

“Create opportunities to be alone with Father. As often as possible.”

“…”

“And let’s send him off comfortably.”

Did he really mean to kill him?

How? Well, there are plenty of ways. Not killing him outright but letting him die slowly over time. Given his history of liver cancer, it could look like a natural death. Bribing the doctor would be easy…

Growing up in this damn gangster family, all sorts of methods popped into my head automatically. This is why knowledge is pain. A normal person wouldn’t even imagine the things I’ve seen growing up.

Seeing me hesitate without giving a clear answer, my eldest brother told me to think it over calmly, with a benevolent smile as if he were doing me a favor.

“Yisak-ah, are you sick?”

My stepmother’s concerned voice reached me. I shook my head with an awkward smile. You respond to pretense with pretense.

“No. I guess I haven’t been sleeping much because of work.”

I was genuinely nauseous. The more I mulled over my conversation with my eldest brother, the more I felt like retching. I wouldn’t be able to stay sane like this. In the end, I signaled a servant to bring some alcohol.

I’ve lived without ambition to avoid getting caught up in dirty power struggles. It was a necessary survival tactic as the illegitimate son of a chaebol, and I thought it worked well enough. But… to be treated as a tool to kill Mr. Choi just because I’m harmless enough for him not to suspect me?

My eldest brother, sitting diagonally across, looked relaxed. He was elegantly biting into a piece of tteokgalbi. How can he be so calm after telling me to kill someone?

Of course, I also wish Mr. Choi would die soon. He’s my father, but I’ve hated him my whole life. I’ve even imagined killing him a few times. But that was just fantasy. Planning an actual murder is a whole different level.

Since Father seems to be favoring my stepmother lately, why not just send him to the afterlife… That kind of thinking isn’t normal. Not wanting to do it himself, so he threatens his innocent youngest brother to do it for him? That’s the kind of idea only a crazy psychopath would come up with.

Why is my life like this? If I calm Woo Seonrim down, my eldest brother causes trouble. If I ignore my eldest brother, Woo Seonrim will throw a fit.

Pondering why my life is surrounded by lunatics, my head hurt, and I just kept drinking. Then Mr. Choi, sitting at the head of the table, spoke up.

“Yisak-ah, don’t drink too much.”

Yisak-ah? The cringeworthy way Mr. Choi addressed me almost made me vomit. Seeing him like that, it feels like his death is near anyway—do I really need to dirty my hands?

“If you get liver cancer like me, you’re in trouble. This chemo treatment isn’t a joke. By the way, why haven’t you visited me? If I die like this, you’ll regret being an unfilial son and cry later, you punk.”

“…Yes.”

I wanted to cry right then and there. I quietly poured more alcohol into my empty glass.

۶ৎ

I drank to stay seated, but I overdid it. I collapsed in the backseat of the car, clutching my forehead as I headed home.

I’ve always thought of myself as a bit unhinged, but after witnessing my eldest brother’s inhuman behavior up close today, I feel like I’m nothing. What if I hadn’t grown up as Mr. Choi’s son? I entertained that thought for the first time in a while. If I had lived alone with my mom.

Surprisingly, I might’ve become a pretty ordinary, average adult. Without money to properly learn the piano, my weird obsession with music might not have developed either.

How did I end up born and raised as Choi Yisak, stuck with this headache of a life? Suddenly, my life felt so pitiful that my eyes stung, confirming I was thoroughly drunk.

My drinking habits include pointless self-pity, whiny complaints, and sniffling. By the time I reached my doorstep with Driver Kim’s help, my eyes were already wet.

“Director, we’ve arrived.”

“Sniff, yeah, go on…”

For some reason, Driver Kim’s voice sounded mournful today.

“Director, are you really okay…”

Screech. The front door opened from the inside. Through the gap, I saw a pale, gloomy face. It was Woo Seonrim, his eyes darker and more sunken than usual, his red lips twisted.

Whoosh, he grabbed my arm, which was half-leaning on Driver Kim, and pulled me inside, slamming the door shut. Bang! The loud noise made my ears ring.

Immediately, Woo Seonrim grabbed my shoulders, shaking me back and forth as he spoke.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Ugh…”

“Did you drink? With who? That guy from earlier? Now you’re even hitting on the driver?”

“I… went to a shitty family gathering…”

“What?”

“Look, can’t I… drink a little? Is that not allowed?”

“What’s that? Director, are you crying right now?”

My vision started to blur. This situation—Woo Seonrim yelling at me—felt so unfair and sad that I couldn’t bear it. I went through hell getting threatened by my eldest brother because of you, and my heart’s been heavy ever since.

“You’re such a damn bastard…”

“What?”

I told myself to hold on because a cute Woo Seonrim would be waiting at home, ready to comfort me. I planned to ask him to play a Chopin piece to soothe my heart.

But the one supposed to comfort me is yelling and getting mad the moment he sees me… How could he? Life feels so shitty, disappointing, and sad. In a situation like this, crying is inevitable. Damn it, why am I even alive? I don’t really want to live. What’s the point of dragging through life like this?

Woo Seonrim rubbed my face with his large hand and said,

“Director, explain why you’re crying. I don’t understand.”

“What did I do wrong… Sniff, ugh. Just went to a shitty… family gathering. And you’re treating me like trash.”

“I didn’t treat you like trash.”

“You asked if I was hitting on the driver.”

“You’re the kind of person who’d do that and more, so why act like this?”

“Damn bastard…”

“What? No, I was just worried about you, Director… You could’ve at least told me you were going to a family gathering. Do you know what time it is…”

“Why, sniff, are you mad at me? Huh? Who are you to judge? I’ve lived a good life, you punk…”

I’ve hit a few people, but it was always mutual fault. I’ve never been dragged to the police station, and aside from smoking weed a few times in the States, I’ve never touched drugs. Growing up in the Choi family, that’s practically saintly.

“Alright, Director, you’re a good person.”

“But… you said you didn’t like me.”

“When did I say that?”

“You said it before. That you didn’t like me.”

“You’re the type to care about something like that, Director?”

“Of course I care, why wouldn’t I? My MBTI is F.”

“What’s that…”

“I get hurt too.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“How would I know your true feelings… If you say you don’t like me, I think you don’t. How am I supposed to know if you like me or not?”

“Okay, okay. I like you, Director.”

“Mr. Seonrim… Sniff, really? Damn it, why is my life like this? Do you know the name of the parrot I used to raise? Ttovi. Do you know why it was Ttovi?”

“…I just said I like you, and now you’re changing the subject.”

“It’s Ttovi because it was a smart pigeon. Well, it was a parrot, not a pigeon… but back then, I thought all birds were pigeons. Funny, right?”

“That’s funny. Now stay still. Don’t you need to wipe your nose?”

Suddenly, a cold sensation hit my face. Strange. Just moments ago, I was staggering in front of the door with a heavy body. When I came to, I was standing in front of the bathroom faucet, tucked under Woo Seonrim’s arm. He must’ve dragged me here.

Woo Seonrim let out a deep sigh and splashed water on my face.

“Ugh… Argh.”

The merciless splashing made water go up my nose, stinging. I wanted to flail, but his firm grip on my arm made it impossible. Whether this was washing my face or waterboarding, I couldn’t tell. When it was over, Woo Seonrim scrubbed my face with a towel.

“Ow…”

As I groaned, a sharp voice came back.

“Is this what you’re like when you’re drunk?”

“What…”

Smack, smack. Woo Seonrim hit my face a few times with the towel, then dragged me out. I stumbled and ended up leaning against him. Even after washing with cold water, my forehead still throbbed, and my cheeks felt hot.

Just how much had I drunk? In the middle of it all, President Choi had scolded me, saying I might end up with liver cancer and that genetics were a scary thing, which somehow sparked a stubborn streak in me, making me pour even more alcohol down my throat. Fortunately, I wasn’t the type to suffer from bad hangovers. Regardless, I had to go to work tomorrow.

Woo Seonrim laid me down on the sofa as if throwing me and said, “Drink in moderation.”

“I was trying to…” I mumbled.

“Then why didn’t you? Don’t you think about the people waiting for you at home?”

“This isn’t even your house.”

“So, should I leave now? Should I go?”

“Why are you so quick to say you’ll leave…?”

As Woo Seonrim spoke coldly and turned away sharply, my hand shot out reflexively. I struggled to lift my heavy arm and grabbed the edge of his sleeve.

“Mr. Seonrim, I’m just… my mind’s a mess today.”

“What’s going on?”

“Just… Mr. Seonrim, ugh, I think I’m going to hiccup. If I start hiccupping, pat my back…”

“Ugh… annoying.”

I twisted my body to the side, settling comfortably into the plush sofa. Lying on something soft made drowsiness creep in automatically. My eyelids grew heavy, making it hard to keep my eyes even halfway open.

With a thud, I heard Woo Seonrim plop down in front of the sofa. His thick, firm fingers seemed to wrap around the side of my head, brushing against my earlobe. The buzz that had briefly subsided flared up hazily, and my eyes felt warm again. I wasn’t one to get drunk easily, so being this intoxicated was a rare occurrence in my life—something I could count on one hand. And crying this pathetically was a first.

“Are you crying again? Director, your drinking habits are really bad. Don’t go drinking anywhere else. I’m only putting up with this because it’s me; anyone else would’ve already—”

“Why… do I annoy you that much? That’s harsh.”

He said he liked me. Couldn’t he just indulge my drunken antics a little? Maybe grab me a bottle of a sports drink or something. Woo Seonrim, with his grimacing, sullen face, nagging away, felt unfair to me. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed with sadness again.

“Last time, you said you wanted to see me cry. You even licked my tears with your tongue… brought an onion and made a mess of things…”

“I’m holding back because I don’t have a hobby of indulging drunk people. Should I lick them now?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Director, why are you like this? Coming home at dawn, crying pathetically, acting cute, and clinging to me. Are you teasing me?”

Woo Seonrim’s face suddenly seemed to come closer. I wondered if it was just my drunken haze, but the sensation of his breath on my damp cheeks felt vivid. It was close enough that our lips might brush if we weren’t careful, but it didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable. After a few days of our lips grazing, I must’ve gotten used to him.

I stared blankly into Woo Seonrim’s eyes. They were languid yet sharp. He’s really handsome. Stunningly beautiful… If only that mouth of his would softly utter sweet words and focus on music, it’d be even better.

If you have something precious, you have to live diligently.

Suddenly, the words my eldest hyung said a few hours ago came to mind. Do I hold Woo Seonrim dear? His music is one-of-a-kind, so naturally, I can’t help but cherish its creator.

But whether I cherish Woo Seonrim enough to kill for him, I’m not sure. No, to begin with, murder is something you shouldn’t do, right? And patricide is a heinous crime. Choi Jaeyoung, President Choi, they’re all insane. Everyone around me is crazy.

“There’s no one normal… no one normal,” I muttered.

“Stop mumbling.”

Suddenly, a sharp sensation stung my cheek.

“Ouch.”

Woo Seonrim bit my cheek hard, then moved his tongue along the teeth marks left on my skin. Every path his tongue took tickled intensely.

“Ugh… what are you doing?”

“Licking your tears. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“When did I—”

“Your eyes are all swollen.”

“Ha… then get off me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I must look ugly. You like my face, don’t you?”

“You want to look good for me? Do you like me?”

“No.”

“Don’t answer so quickly. It pisses me off.”

Woo Seonrim’s tongue flicked over the swollen corner of my eye. It felt like a giant cat was rubbing against me, making me feel strange. A cat… Damn, the image of my beloved cat’s corpse flashed in my mind. It was a beautiful tuxedo cat. My eldest hyung killed it. Cruelly. How could he do that? He’s not human. Die. President Choi, Choi Jaeyoung, all of them, just die.

“No, you’re crying again?”

“Tuxedo cat…”

“What are you talking about…?”

“Mr. Seonrim, sniff, you’d look good in a tuxedo.”

“…You reek of alcohol.”

“Ugh, so you’re only licking and not kissing because of that? Sorry.”

“…”

“Should I brush my teeth and come back…?”

“…Be honest. You like me a little, don’t you, Director?”

“No.”

“Even when you’re blackout drunk, you answer so clearly. It’s really annoying. Just open your mouth.”

“Why…?”

“Because I’m going to kiss you.”

“Oh… my eyes are swollen, so I must look ugly. Is that okay?”

It was a genuinely worried question, but Woo Seonrim grimaced in disgust, furrowing his brow.

“Just shut up and open your mouth.”

“Okay…”

My hazy vision was filled with Woo Seonrim. I draped my arms over his shoulders, sniffling and swallowing hard. Soon, our lips met. Soft and tender, they somehow reminded me of a cat’s paw pads, making me tear up even more.

۶ৎ

Alcohol is the root of all evil. That was my first thought upon waking in the morning.

Just die. Let’s die cleanly by my own will. No time to worry about killing others. That was my thought upon seeing the face of the person lying next to me.

“…”

I stared blankly to my side. Something massive was occupying my bed. It was Woo Seonrim, sleeping soundly with nothing on his upper body.

“…Damn.”

Why is this guy sleeping in my bed?

My head was pounding like it would split open. Memories of last night were patchy. I clearly remembered coming home drunk after a deeply unsettling family gathering.

And then… what happened? I was crying and babbling nonsense—“If you say you don’t like me, I’ll think you really don’t. How do you know if you like me or not?”—that kind of embarrassing drivel.

“Ugh, so you’re only licking and not kissing because of that?”

Damn, why did I say that? Anyone who heard it would think I was desperate for physical intimacy with Woo Seonrim. No, Woo Seonrim might think that too.

“Ha… even seeing you again… you’re really big.”

Oh no. The more I recalled last night’s actions, the more my head dropped in shame. This won’t do. Let’s die, by my own will. Before Woo Seonrim wakes up, let’s just end my life.

I couldn’t even remember to what extent I’d tangled with Woo Seonrim. Judging by the fragmented, mortifying things I said, it seemed certain we’d at least stripped each other’s underwear and locked eyes with… certain parts.

No way we went all the way, right? Please. God. I only call on a God I don’t believe in at times like this. If I’d somehow violated Woo Seonrim… it was horrifying to think about. I suddenly feared that if we’d had sex, I might just rush through his album release or something.

I barely suppressed a scream, clutching my hair. I frantically scanned the room for traces of the dawn’s events. Woo Seonrim’s shirt lay crumpled on the floor by the bed. Thankfully, there were no suspicious wads of tissue stained with questionable fluids.

“Damn…”

The kissing started on the living room sofa, so how did we end up here? Imagining various scenarios made my forehead feel like it was splitting in two. I pressed my temples with my fingertips and cautiously lifted the blanket to check the state of my lower body.

“…Gasp.”

I bit my lip hard to stifle a scream that nearly escaped. My hands, gripping the blanket, trembled.

Woo Seonrim was naked. Completely bare, not even a single piece of underwear.

And despite his delicate appearance, his body was annoyingly healthy, sporting a very evident morning erection. The moment my eyes landed on his half-erect member, I genuinely wanted to cry.

Thankfully, I wasn’t naked. My pants had vanished somewhere, but my underwear and shirt were intact. My underwear didn’t feel damp or sticky either.

So, did I… do something to him?

No way. That couldn’t be. They say only those who’ve eaten meat know how to eat it, and the same goes for sex. In my drunken state, could I have even found the right spot? We probably didn’t go all the way. …But then why is Woo Seonrim naked?

I grabbed a handful of my disheveled hair, sinking into the overwhelming turmoil. After minutes of agonizing, I concluded I should escape. I didn’t know what happened, but for now, I’d get out of here and think later. I had to go to work, and I didn’t have the confidence to face Woo Seonrim in this state.

Careful not to wake him, I quietly slid off the bed. The moment my feet silently touched the bedroom floor, a strong force yanked my wrist from behind.

“Argh!”

I let out a strange yelp in surprise. Turning around, I saw Woo Seonrim staring at me with wide, clear eyes, his face completely awake, showing no trace of sleep.

“…You, you were awake?”

“Yes.”

“This guy, you’re really a weird one. Why pretend to be asleep?”

“I wasn’t pretending. I just had my eyes closed. You didn’t even ask if I was sleeping.”

I wanted to smack those lips muttering at me with such clear eyes. Woo Seonrim asked softly as he sat up. The blanket covering his chest slid down, revealing his lower abdomen.

“Gah!”

Damn, why do I have to see a guy’s naked body? Goosebumps rose, and my shoulders shuddered. The fingers gripping my wrist felt oddly sticky.

“You saw plenty last night, and now you’re shocked?”

My vision was filled with Woo Seonrim’s pale skin. He didn’t even work out, yet there was no excess fat on his body. From his usual stylish clothes, I’d assumed he was lanky and skinny.

But there were subtle muscles on his arms and chest. Not the chiseled six-pack you see in media, but with no body fat, his abs were clearly defined. It wasn’t an artificially bulked-up body, but surprisingly muscular. He’d look good in anything. Easy to style… Damn, I’m thinking about work even now.

Disgusted with myself, I subtly avoided Woo Seonrim’s gaze. He tilted his head and said, “Director, you look better than I expected. You were so drunk.”

“I… don’t get hangovers easily.”

“Your eyes are less swollen than I thought too.”

“I… swelling goes down easily. I’m blessed with a good body.”

I wanted to respond with my usual ease, but my throat felt dry. The image of myself leaning on Woo Seonrim, whimpering in my sleep, flashed through my mind. I wanted to die.

I slowly backed away, trying to slip out of Woo Seonrim’s grip. But he tightened his hold and yanked me toward him.

“Damn.”

If my balance had been slightly worse, I might’ve fallen right onto Woo Seonrim’s crotch. And collided with that thing standing proudly in the morning.

“Director, where are you going?”

“…Mr. Seonrim, let me go. I have to go to work.”

“Hmm.”

Woo Seonrim reached back and flung open the curtain. Dim sunlight poured into the room, making everything clearer.

“It’s a bit early for work. You’re up earlier than usual.”

“So what? Unlike you, I’m diligent about my job, so I’m going early to get some extra work done…”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re not running away because you’re awkward with me, are you?”

“…”

“After what you did last night. Why are you always like this, Director?”

“Mr. Seonrim, I’m sorry, but… I don’t remember anything.”

Woo Seonrim’s eyes narrowed. Then he silently stared at me for over ten seconds. His intense gaze made my skin prickle.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“Uh…”

“I see. That’s why you were planning to sneak out.”

“Sneak out, what?”

“I thought you didn’t want to sleep with me. But last night, it didn’t seem that way.”

“…What are you talking about? Did we do it?”

I didn’t think it was possible, but I couldn’t completely rule it out, and my heart pounded uneasily.

“Yes, we did.”

“Hey… don’t lie.”

Screwing up while drunk and saying something like this the next morning… If we really had sex, I’d be an utter piece of trash. But born into a trashy family, isn’t it natural to act like trash? I glared at Woo Seonrim, rationalizing illogically.

A shadow fell over Woo Seonrim’s long, slanted eyes. His voice, low and husky from the morning, mumbled, “So, you’re the kind of person who sleeps with someone you don’t like and then pretends it never happened. Is it just about satisfying your urges?”

“No, that’s not it. I was completely wasted last night; how could I have had sex? I probably couldn’t even get it up.”

“You got it up just fine.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. You’ve got good stamina. You must take care of your body.”

“I do, kind of…”

Confusion was starting to set in. Did something really happen with this guy at dawn? Since Woo Seonrim likes me, he probably looked into same-sex stuff beforehand. Even if I was fumbling, if he guided me, it might not have been impossible.

Did I really do it with Woo Seonrim…? Was it good to sleep with a guy? Damn, if that’s the case, why did we bother with all that contract nonsense? My head was a mess. Thoughts ran wild, and my forehead throbbed again. It was my first sex in 30 years, and not remembering it felt somehow unfair.

While I was frozen in shock, Woo Seonrim calmly continued, “I’m telling you, we really did it.”

“No way…”

“You started it, so why are you so shocked? I’m kind of hurt.”

“…”

“You were pretty skilled. As expected from someone who’s played around a lot. I was surprised—”

“Wait a second.”

Listening to Woo Seonrim in a daze, I suddenly realized something odd and shouted, “Hey!”

“…That hurts my ears.”

“Ha, I knew it couldn’t be true. You’re lying, I can tell. You jerk… ugh, so annoying. I almost fell for it.”

Skilled, my ass. A virgin like me? I had zero experience with sexual intimacy. The idea of me skillfully leading Woo Seonrim in sex was unimaginable. I was furious for briefly falling for it, my face flushing red.

“Wow, this guy. Lying without even blinking?”

Woo Seonrim furrowed his brow and pouted. What’s with the cute act? He’s a liar.

“You just want to believe it’s a lie, don’t you? Why are you so sure? You said you don’t remember.”

“Hey. Talking to you jogged my memory. We didn’t go all the way.”

I couldn’t explain how I knew, so I brushed it off. I absolutely didn’t want to admit I was a virgin. Given this pervert’s views on relationships, if he knew I was a virgin, he’d probably get even more obsessed with me. That can’t happen.

My life was already exhausting with his music holding me hostage; if I got tangled up with Woo Seonrim himself, I’d die of stress. He’s cuter than my eldest hyung, but he’s still a crazy bastard, and today I learned he’s got a liar streak too.

Taking advantage of Woo Seonrim slightly loosening his grip, I shook off his hand and exhaled heavily. My constricted chest felt lighter. Woo Seonrim stared at me with sharp eyes. Whatever. With a relieved chuckle, I said, “Yeah, the contract hasn’t even been properly fulfilled, so why would I sleep with you, Mr. Seonrim?”

“…”

“I don’t have a hobby of hooking up with guys. If you got your hopes up yesterday, sorry. Not yet. Wake up from your dream.”

“…”

“Don’t pull this prank again, got it? Put some clothes on first. I’ll make breakfast, so wash up and come out.”

As I turned to leave the bedroom, feeling refreshed, Woo Seonrim, who had been quietly listening with a somber expression, suddenly stood up. Kicking off the blanket, he stepped right in front of me. His tall frame, bathed in early morning sunlight, cast a shadow over my face.

“What, what are you doing? Aren’t you going to put clothes on?”

Unfazed by his nudity, Woo Seonrim looked down at me shamelessly. Typical of a crazy guy.

“Director.”

His deep voice made my body flinch reflexively.

“Fine. We didn’t go all the way. But does it have to involve penetration to count as sex? That’s a loose standard.”

“What?”

“I’m in this state because of you, Director. Last night, you told me to take my clothes off.”