IOB Ch 7

The moment I was about to reach for the taser, Woo Seonrim gently pressed down on my shoulder.

“I want to watch from here.”

“Get away. It is creepy.”

“I have no choice if I want to hear your breathing clearly. I am curious how you breathe when you cry.”

I barely managed to swallow the question of whether he was a fucking pervert. I was not in a position to judge others. I had that much discernment and conscience.

“…I get it, so take your hand off my shoulder.”

“Okay.”

Woo Seonrim obediently withdrew his hand and looked down at me intently. My pride was slightly hurt by the slight difference in our eye levels. I bowed my head completely and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Director? I cannot see your face.”

“Ah, just wait a bit. I am going to think of something sad, so do not talk to me.”

Woo Seonrim became quiet at once. It seemed he had the kind of personality to listen to others obediently only when he felt like it. In a word, he had no manners.

But today’s affair was a hole I had dug for myself. I had started the arm wrestling match for no good reason. I had naturally assumed I would win. Still, I had to accept the result of the match, what else could I do.

Hoo, I collected my breath and recalled a sad scene. I did not have to search my mind for long to dig up several memories. Just touching on any random point in my past brought up a string of shitty memories.

I pulled out the scene from when I was around eleven, when I attempted to run away from home with my mother. It was an incredibly cold winter. I had armed myself from head to toe with the warmest clothes from my closet, but my mother had not.

My mother was wearing thin leather flats and stumbled on the ice as she ran. I tried to share my gloves with her, but I was firmly refused. Save your hands. It would be hard for a while after running away, but she would find a way to make money over time and let me continue playing the piano. So save your hands, just like you always do.

My timid mother shivered as she took me to the bus terminal and said.

We are going south. We will start anew there, Seon-ie…

My mother hated the name Chairman Choi had given me and always called me by the nickname ‘Seon-ie’. I do not know how that nickname came about.

Seon-ie. Now you do not have to get hit by the second son anymore. You do not have to walk on eggshells around the Chairman either. We can be happy…

My foolishly naive mother. If she had left me in that house and run away by herself, she might not have been caught. She might have really been able to live a new life. She could just have another child, right? A different child, not me. A child who would inherit the surname of the man my mother truly loved, not a Choi. That child would surely be kinder and more beautiful than me.

Chairman Choi came to catch my mother three days later. There was no way that man, who was terrifyingly obsessed with his own bloodline, would let me go. So my mother should have abandoned me and left alone.

My mother’s life was ruined because she gave birth to me. Whether I was beaten by the teacher Chairman Choi had assigned for the reason that I was slacking off in my piano practice, or whether my head was cracked open and my arm was broken from being bullied by Choi Geon-yeong. She should have pretended not to know such a thing as familial bonds and run away. I still do not understand my mother. The most foolish, kind, and beautiful person I know…

“…Ugh, there.”

The corners of my eyes instantly grew hot. Stop. This much rumination was enough to draw out tears. I cut off the thoughts that were about to continue in a stream and lifted my head.

Drip, the moment a single teardrop fell from my right eye, I met Woo Seonrim’s gaze right in front of me. Woo Seonrim was so close it felt like our eyelashes would brush. As always, he had an indecipherable look in his eyes.

Drip, drip-drip. I squeezed out a few more fake tears and said.

“There, happy?”

“…”

“Can you see the tears flowing?”

“…”

“But how long do I have to cry?”

“…”

“…Seonrim-ssi, you have not blinked for over ten seconds now. It is creepy, so please stop soon. Move and answer me.”

“…”

“Hey. If you are going to make someone put on a show, you should say something…”

I was in the middle of contemplating whether I should kick Woo Seonrim in the shin. Woo Seonrim, who had been frozen like a plaster statue, suddenly moved. Immediately after, I felt a moist piece of flesh touch my cheek. I forgot to breathe and just stood there blankly.

Did… Woo Seonrim just lick my tears with the tip of his tongue? Did Woo Seonrim… lick… my cheek?

A few seconds later, as soon as I grasped the situation, a scream burst out of my mouth on its own.

“Aack!”

“…

“F, fuck.”

Thwack! I urgently struck Woo Seonrim’s chest and pushed him away. After putting distance between myself and Woo Seonrim, I plunged my hand into the pocket containing the taser. With my other hand, I scrubbed at the cheek Woo Seonrim had licked. Ah… I could feel Woo Seonrim’s saliva seeping into my skin.

“You… son, son of a bitch… Are you crazy?”

I roared, veins popping on my neck.

That bastard Woo Seonrim, pushed by my hand, obediently stepped back a few paces and maintained a calm expression the whole time. I got even more heated at his reaction and raised my voice.

“Are you a pervert? Are you a fucking homo?”

It felt like the sensation of his tongue was still on my cheek. That hot, squishy, and wet piece of flesh…

“Uwaaack!”

I let out another scream like a seizure without realizing it. Only then did Woo Seonrim open his mouth, slowly and gently.

“It looked delicious.”

“What?”

“The tears…”

“F, f, fuuuuck…”

He really is a crazy bastard. Should I attack him with the taser right now and then run away? No. The attack might not work well, so should I send an emergency message to Driver Kim first? For some reason, I had the illogical thought that Woo Seonrim would just blink his eyes nonchalantly even while his body was being zapped by a taser.

Feeling a threat to my personal safety, or to be precise, my chastity, I just swallowed dryly.

“It was delicious.”

“…”

“The scent of your skin was nice too. Do you wear cologne?”

“Shut up…”

If it was once, maybe, but seeing him pull such lewd stunts over and over. Woo Seonrim is definitely a pervert. I came to a perfect conclusion in my head.

Unidentified, pervert, weirdo, psycho… Every word describing Woo Seonrim is utterly ominous. I have dealt with many crazy people in my life, but Woo Seonrim is a special breed among them, and I do not know how to handle him.

First, let us be calm. Calm. If I show that I am scared here, the upper hand will go to him. A chilling energy spread through my whole body, and I got goosebumps. I tried my best to maintain a confident face and said.

“You said earlier that all I had to do was shed tears.”

“Tears have to be wiped away anyway. I thought it was all the same whether you wipe them with a tissue or with a tongue…”

“Stop with the dogshit logic.”

“It is not working.”

“So you do know it is a sophism.”

“Yes. To be honest, I did it without much thought. I told you it looked delicious. It would be natural for my answer to lack logic.”

“Cut it out with that ‘delicious’ expression. It is disgusting.”

“I cannot think of a particular expression to replace it.”

I shouted nervously, completely worked up.

“Then just shut your mouth. Fuck! What is wrong with you? Do you like me?”

At that, Woo Seonrim, who had been muttering gently, shut his mouth tight. An ominous silence followed.

“…”

“…”

“Pardon?”

A few seconds later, Woo Seonrim furrowed one eyebrow and spoke in a bewildered voice. What is with that expression, as if he just heard some nonsense. Seeing Woo Seonrim acting awkwardly, as if he could not keep up with the flow of the conversation, made blood rush to my brain.

“My head hurts, fuck…”

The fact that the music I longed for was inside that bastard was despairing. It is not like I can just peel off his shell and keep it. I wanted to punch Woo Seonrim in the solar plexus and zap him with a taser, but at the same time, I thought that this was not the time for that and I wanted to quickly take Woo Seonrim to the performance room and sit him down at the piano.

I felt reverence and revulsion for one person at the same time. I could not be sure if my madly beating heart was purely due to fear or if it was mixed with excitement.

Woo Seonrim, who had been spacing out for a while, opened his mouth.

“…What does it mean to like someone?”

“Did you come here for a philosophy lecture?”

“Because I have never liked anyone before. If you tell me, Director, I will think about it. Whether I like you or not.”

“That is ridiculous. Anyone would think I confessed to you. I am not interested in anything but your music, you know? What is there to see in you, fuck. I am too good for you. So stop with the nonsense and get the hell to the performance room right now.”

Woo Seonrim’s head tilted to the side. The corners of his eyes drooped slightly in a strange way, and a shadow was cast beneath his tilted eyelashes.

“You only like my music?”

His slow, questioning voice was deeply subdued. Is he perhaps feeling hurt? Nah, there is no way Woo Seonrim, of all people, would feel such an emotion. Woo Seonrim feeling hurt by a person. The expression felt like a grammatical error.

“I called you to play, did not I. That is why I gave you money too. What else is there?”

“But Director, you got a hard-on for me.”

“Fuck…”

I knew this damn unusual sexual desire of mine would trip me up here. I chewed on my lips.

“That time I was excited by the performance… Well, when I hear amazing music, I often get an erection, do not I?”

I tried to pass it off brazenly, but Woo Seonrim made a bizarre expression.

“What are you talking about? You are a really strange person, Director.”

“I told you I do not want to hear that from you.”

Woo Seonrim let out a sigh and swept back his long, flowing hair with his hand. His slow gesture lacked strength.

“I, just now. I thought that maybe I like you, Director.”

Here we go with the bullshit again.

“It seemed to make a lot of sense. Lately, whenever I see you, Director, I feel strange. I thought it was just sexual desire. Is this what others call affection? Love? Is it something like that?”

The moment I heard the word love, goosebumps broke out all over my body as if I had been thrown into a freezer.

“No, not at all. Seonrim-ssi, are you hungry? Is your blood sugar low? It seems your judgment is quite impaired right now.”

“But you just said that to me, Director. You asked if I liked you. Does that not mean there was a point that made you wonder?”

“Huh? I must have been hungry. My blood sugar must have dropped so I thought wrong. Absolutely not.”

“When did you capture a semblance of love from me?”

“Hey. It was just a joke… Stop it…”

I wanted to slap my own lips. There are some mistakes you just do not make.

“You know, when you said you were only interested in my performance, my feelings were hurt for a moment. Is not this because I like you?”

“Are you crazy?”

A wave of fear washed over me. My shoulders hunched inward without me realizing it. Love. How could he say such a dreadful thing with those beautiful lips. If I had my way, I would have slapped Woo Seonrim across the cheek. Is this the time to be saying such things.

He was born with that demonic talent, so he should just devote himself to music. In this short human life where every minute and second is precious, what the hell is love and all that jazz… In order for a person to do great things, one must not be swayed by messy personal feelings. It is not for nothing that they say romance is poison for students preparing for exams.

In the first place, the word love did not suit Woo Seonrim. A guy with a listless and pale face that makes you suspect he is a ghost, love? It would be better if he threw a tantrum like last time, telling me to hurry up and take out my dick, Director. It makes no sense for a guy who pounced on me for the bland reason that it helps his music to suddenly say he likes me. What was there between us.

I put on a deliberately strict and resolute expression and said.

“You are young, so you do not know. It is all a misunderstanding. Do not think about useless things. Focus only on the music, only on the music. If you liked me, you would not act like this toward me.”

“How did I act?”

“You were fucking annoying.”

“When?”

“Right now, things like this. Who pisses off the person they like this much? If you like someone, you would try to treat them well. You would not have done things I said I did not like. You would have listened to me well!”

As I spoke, I got choked up, and my voice grew louder in stages.

“Did I not listen to you, Director?”

“Even when I told you to quit your part-time job, you did not listen. You do not seem interested in debuting at all. Fuck, you refuse even when I offer to get you a house, you do not spend the money even when I pour it on you… Hey, it is not just one or two things. It would just hurt my damn mouth to list them all.”

“…”

“On top of that, you grope someone’s dick, and you lick their cheek. Is this the attitude of someone who likes a person? It is just a madman.”

Woo Seonrim fell silent, his lips pressed firmly together. His slowly rolling ink-black eyes wavered with an unfamiliar light. As I was panting and collecting my breath, Woo Seonrim spoke in a hoarse voice.

“I did it because I did not know. What if I do not do it from now on?”

“Do what.”

“If I listen to you well, Director, then it is true that I like you, right?”

“Do not talk bullshit.”

“I will try doing things one by one as you say, Director. First, I will quit all my part-time jobs.”

“…Are you serious?”

“Should I move houses too? To somewhere near your house, Director.”

“…Really?”

“You said you wanted me to focus only on music. I will try it.”

“…”

“As for debuting… I think I will need a little more time to think about that. It is a pretty big decision for me.”

I stood there blankly and then blurted out words reflexively. My voice trembled disgracefully.

“W, well, I understand that. I do not want to pressure you to debut right away either.”

This is fucking. Without realizing it, I was flustered and got swept up in Woo Seonrim’s calm proposal. The moment the word debut came out of Woo Seonrim’s mouth, my heart pounded helplessly.

You hopeless bastard, Choi Yisak. Just a moment ago you were saying it was creepy and disgusting… A swift change of thought occurred. If I can hold Woo Seonrim’s feelings hostage and extract his music, is not that a profitable business? I was completely averse to connecting with the human Woo Seonrim, but his music alone was so ecstatic. The scale quickly tipped from revulsion to affection.

“If I do that, I think I will become a little more certain about whether I like you or not, Director.”

“…Uh, huh.”

“When I am certain, I will tell you. That I like you.”

“But… if it turns out you do like me, what happens then?”

“We have to get married. Since we like each other.”

My reason, which had been floating high on the thought of chewing, tearing, and savoring Woo Seonrim’s music to my heart’s content, returned for a moment.

“What are you talking about. This is South Korea, and I am a man. You must be too open-minded because you came from abroad. No, in the first place, are you not going to ask my opinion?”

“I wonder. I have not really thought about it.”

“Hey, Seonrim-ssi. This kind of attitude is not how you treat someone you like. You have to respect my opinion too. Marriage is a major life event.”

“Hmm, I think it is a problem that can be solved if you come to like me too, Director.”

“I told you I do not like you…”

Does Woo Seonrim even listen to others? It seems everything I have shouted so far was just a silent scream.

“Why? Why do you only like my music?”

“Because… you are a bit like a madman…”

“Me?”

“You seem like a weirdo too, and I do not know what kind of guy you are…”

“Are you scared of me? Is that why you brought a taser too?”

Fuck, how did he know. Does he use X-ray vision or something. I was startled and at a loss for words.

“I will try not to do things you dislike from now on. Are you still scared?”

“The very fact that you are doing this to me right now… I kind of dislike it…”

“People cannot be perfect. There will be things I lack even if I try. You have to overlook that much.”

“So fucking shameless… You will just do something weird again after saying this.”

“What is it that scares you so much.”

“Like last time, when you suddenly took out your dick and all.”

“Ah. I thought you would not think much of it since you are used to that sort of thing, Director. So you were scared.”

Of course I am not used to it at all. It was the first time I came in someone else’s hand! If I shouted that, it felt like even the last remaining piece of my pride would be crumpled, so I held it in.

“If you do not like it, I will not do it. But what should I do if I get an erection while playing like last time?”

“Go to the bathroom and get yourself off alone, fuck…”

“Ah, that would work.”

Woo Seonrim nodded his head like a person who had a clear epiphany. Seeing him agree to and dismiss such a topic so casually, a deep sense of doubt washed over me. It seemed there was nothing to be gained from continuing a serious conversation with him. My mind was gradually entering a state of oversaturation.

Right, let us just say it was my fault for asking why he licked my cheek in the first place, and my lack of virtue for snapping at him asking if he liked me. I dug my own grave and made it my resting place. And a very inauspicious one, feng shui-wise.

Even though Woo Seonrim was agreeing to follow my words just as I had so desperately wanted, I was more worried than happy. I should have felt relieved that I did not have to feel my chastity threatened, but instead I became more afraid. It was because Woo Seonrim really seemed like a madman. If he were sane, he would not be telling me he likes me in this manner.

Suddenly, the information I heard from Choi Geon-yeong about Woo Seonrim floated in my mind. Along with his voice, sneering at me, asking if I had fallen for Woo Seonrim.

There is no way I would fall for a guy like that. His origins are ambiguous, he might be a criminal, he does not have a shred of passion for life, he lacks social skills, and on top of that, he spouts strange things at the drop of a hat. The only things worth looking at are his a world-class performance skills and his face.

I am just a fan of Woo Seonrim. I love the music, but there is no need to love the creator behind it. I just need to gently coax that unpredictable guy and get a lot of music out of him. I had already braced myself for the various hardships that would follow in that process.

Of course, I had not expected at all that Woo Seonrim would like me. What do I do about this. I am fucked. A very huge obstacle was approaching me. But even so, I did not want to give up on Woo Seonrim’s music. Even in the midst of this, there was a part of me that wanted that madman to go into the performance room quickly. He should just go and play nonstop. Even the time spent on this conversation is a waste…

Woo Seonrim stared at me and then smiled with just the corners of his mouth.

“I think I like it when you make this expression, Director.”

“…What kind of expression.”

I asked, vowing to never make this expression again in the future.

“The expression of craving my music.”

Ah.

It was an impossible vow.