Chapter 25

Xu Heng turned to Chen Ang, momentarily stunned. He had thought about it before, how nice it would be to fall in love for real. There had been moments when his heart stirred because of Chen Ang, but he never truly believed it could happen. The idea of actually being with him had always felt a little too unrealistic.

In that brief moment, the sun had already risen from the sea, now hovering just above the horizon. Pale morning light poured into the car. Chen Ang squinted slightly, the shadows from his pronounced brow ridge falling across his eyes, making his gaze look even deeper. Xu Heng was still curled up in his arms, their bodies close. He could feel Chen Ang’s heartbeat and his own gradually began to race, ears growing warm.

Chen Ang was nervous too.

He wasn’t new to saying things like this. Back when he studied abroad, he had said it many times, whether in Chinese, English, or even a few lines of Spanish. The trick was to keep your voice a little low, smile just right, and maybe hold a bouquet of flowers.

But he had never felt this nervous before. When Xu Heng only blushed and didn’t answer, he grew even more anxious. His face still looked calm and affectionate, but his heart was pounding.

Xu Heng whispered, “Can I… think about it?”

Chen Ang’s chest tightened, but he managed a gentle smile. “Of course,” he replied.

Xu Heng scrambled off him, his limbs tangled and stiff from hours of awkward sleep. He struggled to pull on his pants in the cramped passanger sit and nearly hit his head on the ceiling. Luckily, Chen Ang raised a hand and blocked it just in time.

“Thanks…”

“You’re welcome.”

God, this was awkward.

Xu Heng wasn’t exactly socially anxious. He was good at his job, even knew how to joke around with clients. But right now, he had no idea what to say.

Chen Ang drove in silence. Without his usual smile, the sternness in his face stood out even more.

Xu Heng started to panic. His fingers tangled together in his lap as he began picking at his nails without realizing it.

“You see…”

Chen Ang glanced over. “Hm?”

There wasn’t anything special outside. Just the calm morning sea.

Xu Heng racked his brain. “The sea… it’s golden.”

Chen Ang gave a short reply. “Yeah.”

“And seagulls. Oh… the seagulls aren’t up yet.”

When they pulled up in front of the small inn where they had spent the night, Chen Ang couldn’t hold it anymore. He smiled.

Seeing him smile, Xu Heng finally relaxed. “I’ll give it serious thought. Really. It won’t take long.”

Chen Ang’s heart softened again completely. He sighed and said, “Take your time. But I have one question.”

“What is it?”

Chen Ang unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned closer, and asked, “While you’re thinking, can I still kiss you?”

Xu Heng was startled by how close Chen Ang’s face suddenly was. His head instantly felt like a boiling kettle about to whistle. He leaned back a little, worried that Chen Ang might think he was rejecting him. So he closed his eyes and leaned in, brushing his lips lightly against Chen Ang’s lower lip. It was a soft, quick kiss, barely there like a dragonfly skimming the surface of water, yet the ripple it stirred was anything but small.

Chen Ang reached out and tugged gently at the messy little ponytail tied at the back of Xu Heng’s head. “Go back up and sleep for a bit. Once you’ve rested, we’ll drive home.”

On the drive back, Xu Heng fell asleep against the subtle rhythm of the road. Chen Ang drove him all the way to his apartment and watched him go upstairs before turning the car around and heading back to work. He had taken the day off, but the workload didn’t magically disappear. Since he was already back in town, he figured he might as well get to it. He was due for a promotion soon and didn’t want to give anyone a reason to talk.

Xu Heng hadn’t fully woken up when he got home. He wobbled his way upstairs and collapsed onto his bed.

The past day and a half felt like a confusing dream. His parents, the sunrise by the sea, and finally, the confession.

He really did need to think it through. Being with Chen Ang felt like walking on clouds. Soft, comfortable, but strangely unreal. Chen Ang had already seen every part of him, yet Xu Heng still didn’t know him that well. What he did know was that Chen Ang had a respectable job, one that couldn’t tolerate even the hint of scandal. He came from a well-mannered, strict family. He even had a match lined up, waiting for him.

Xu Heng himself would be leaving for Japan soon and staying for quite a while. By the time he returned, who knew if Chen Ang would still be around.

That thought pushed all sleepiness out of his system. He sat on the bed, staring blankly into space.

Over the next week, Chen Ang was so busy he felt like his hair might fall out. The announcement came earlier than expected, and his promotion was no surprise to anyone. He was rushing to wrap up work, handing off tasks, while dealing with a constant stream of congratulations. He was completely swamped. Some of his friends, people he had met while studying abroad or had known since childhood, were also pestering him to treat them to a celebratory dinner.

“He An said he’s going back to France soon. Let’s all get together before he leaves.”

Chen Ang, overwhelmed and irritable, shut it down immediately. “Another time. I’m busy. Why hasn’t He An left already? Still waiting for the ‘right time’? I’ll take him out the night before he flies. One drink. Done.”

Still, whenever he could find the time, he would pick Xu Heng up after class and grab dinner with him. He had wanted to bring up the whole Japan thing more than once, but he never quite got the words out. He figured he could ask his sister about it later.

The weather was turning colder, as if winter were finally on its way. Xu Heng wore a thick red scarf wrapped snugly around his neck, making his face appear even smaller. Though he was a makeup artist, on lazy days he usually went bare-faced with just a mask. Lately, though, he’d been putting in more effort. Even the receptionist had noticed, teasing him with a grin and asking if he was in love.

Xu Heng would always wave his hands and shake his head, cheeks turning red. “No, no, not at all.”

Chen Ang, dressed for work in his usual formal wear, had started adding a matching trench coat on colder days. Standing by the car waiting for Xu Heng, he looked every bit the refined gentleman, like something out of a London magazine.

Xu Heng walked out quickly but slowed down a few steps before reaching him. “So… what are we eating tonight?”