Chapter 31

Chen Ang had started to sense that something wasn’t right. When they were together, Xu Heng would occasionally zone out, frowning slightly with a blank look in his eyes, as if his mind had drifted somewhere far away. Whenever that happened, Chen Ang would try everything he could to pull his attention back. He felt like a traveler wandering through a desert, finally finding a water source, only to watch the water slip through his fingers, slowly but surely.

He had finally made the decision to set off the bomb, only for Lu Yiran’s compromise to drag life right back to what it was before.

Sometimes, when their eyes met, Chen Ang would feel the urge to tell Xu Heng about Lu Yiran. But in the end, the words would always get swallowed back down. He remembered clearly how, when he first suggested being friends with benefits in the car, Xu Heng had refused, because he knew Chen Ang was going on a blind date with Lu Yiran.

In the end, Chen Ang swallowed all his anxiety and unease, afraid that even the slightest ripple would scare Xu Heng away.

On Sunday morning, Chen Ang was awkwardly trying to cook porridge using a recipe from a cooking app. Xu Heng hadn’t been eating well lately and kept saying his stomach felt off. He mentioned having had gastritis in the past, so Chen Ang thought about making some porridge. But he wasn’t satisfied with just plain porridge. Since Xu Heng liked Cantonese dim sum, he decided to make congee with century egg and pork.

Chen Ang had never really cooked before. Cooking noodles or steaming eggs was about the most he could manage. Even when he was studying abroad, he never really learned how to cook.

It was still early, and Xu Heng was still in bed. Chen Ang stood in front of the ingredients he had bought. The century eggs were slippery and impossible to cut as neatly as the ones in the app photos, so he gave up and just chopped them up messily. After fumbling around for a good half hour, the porridge finally started to resemble something edible. He left it in the pot to keep warm, cleaned up the chaotic kitchen, and went to wake Xu Heng.

Xu Heng was curled up under the blanket, hair sticking out in every direction, only half his face showing. His breathing was calm and steady.

Chen Ang sat at the edge of the bed and pinched his nose. Xu Heng didn’t wake up. His mouth opened as he breathed in and out, completely unaware. Chen Ang chuckled at the sight, then playfully covered Xu Heng’s half-open mouth. Xu Heng stirred, frowning as he opened his eyes, then bit Chen Ang’s hand.

“Why are you biting people,” Chen Ang said, pulling the blanket around him and hugging him. “Get up. Breakfast is ready.”

Xu Heng hadn’t slept well the night before. He rubbed his head into the pillow and refused to get up, squinting as he mumbled, “Five more minutes.”

Chen Ang dragged him out of the blanket like a kid refusing to go to school, scooping him up under the arms. Xu Heng kicked a leg over Chen Ang’s waist, and they both tumbled back onto the bed. Chen Ang flipped them over, pressing Xu Heng underneath. Xu Heng was hard from morning arousal, pressing up against Chen Ang’s thigh, which made Chen Ang stir with desire too.

He slid his hand along Xu Heng’s waist and pulled up his shirt, placing kisses on his pale stomach.

Xu Heng, still half asleep, pushed at his head. “Don’t… don’t do that…”

But Chen Ang continued, ignoring the protest. He reached toward the bedside drawer, groping around for the lube and condoms, his lips brushing against Xu Heng’s ear as he whispered softly, “Morning workout…”

Xu Heng was already hard. He turned his head to reach for his phone. Seeing the time, he lightly pressed against Chen Ang’s body.

“Not today…”

Chen Ang pinned Xu Heng’s wrist above his head and murmured, “It’s still early.”

Xu Heng grew anxious. It wasn’t early anymore. He turned his face to avoid Chen Ang’s kisses.

“I have class.”

Something in those words must have struck a nerve. Instead of stopping, Chen Ang became more urgent, trailing kisses down Xu Heng’s neck, his breath hot and rushed.

“Take the day off, just this once… please…”

The heat of Chen Ang’s breath burned against his skin, making Xu Heng’s ears flush. He struggled a few times but couldn’t break free. His brow furrowed. He pushed harder, adding more force, but Chen Ang still didn’t move. His hand had already slipped into Xu Heng’s pants. In the struggle, Xu Heng jerked his leg up and his knee rammed hard into Chen Ang’s abdomen.

A sharp inhale followed.

Chen Ang hunched over, clearly in pain. He sat up, the fire in his eyes fading, shirt wrinkled and hair messy.

The tension between them collapsed instantly, as if doused by cold water. Xu Heng sat up too, frozen, unsure what to say. The silence hung thick in the air, a wall between them.

After a long pause, Chen Ang climbed off the bed and muttered, “Sorry.”

Xu Heng clutched the blanket in his hands, fingers twisting the fabric.

“It’s fine…” he said softly, not quite looking at him.

Xu Heng stayed seated on the bed. From Chen Ang’s angle, he could only see the top of Xu Heng’s head, the swirl of his hair. The silence grew heavier. That familiar sense of uncertainty crept back in. He didn’t know what to say or where to start.

Chen Ang tried. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been… really busy lately. Work has been stressful. It’s making me irritable.”

Xu Heng gave a small nod. “Okay.”

Then, suddenly, he asked, “Are you bisexual?”

The question caught Chen Ang off guard. He stared, unsure where that came from.

Xu Heng quickly added, “He An told me.”

That brief moment of panic was replaced by an unreasonable sting of jealousy. Chen Ang’s voice turned cold.

“Why are you asking him about me? And so what if I am? Or if I’m not?”

Xu Heng hadn’t expected such a reaction. He frowned, irritated. “Just say yes or no.”

Chen Ang’s face was unreadable as he replied, “Yes.”

“Oh.” Xu Heng threw the blanket off, slipped on his slippers, and walked out.

Chen Ang grabbed him by the wrist, his voice sharp with frustration. “What do you mean ‘oh’? What do you actually want to say?”

Xu Heng let him hold on and turned to look at him.

“What do you want me to say?”

Chen Ang let go of him and said, “It’s too early in the morning for a fight.”

Xu Heng was just as agitated. He hadn’t been eating well, hadn’t been sleeping well either. The morning grumpiness hit hard, and after everything that just happened, it felt like there was a volcano in his head, bubbling and hissing with molten frustration. He was so annoyed, he couldn’t even put his feelings into words.

“You’re bisexual. You have plenty of options.”

Chen Ang fell silent.

Xu Heng took a step back, only to hit the corner of the nightstand with his toe. Pain shot through him like a sharp sting.

Chen Ang said nothing, crouching down to check the toe that had turned red from the impact. Xu Heng pulled his foot back, not letting him touch it, eyes fixed on the top of Chen Ang’s head.

“You have many ways out. You don’t have to keep walking down a dead-end street. It’s exhausting.”

Still kneeling, Chen Ang gently took off Xu Heng’s slipper and held his foot steady against his knee. It was just a bit of skin scraped, not even bleeding.

“I do have a lot of options,” he said softly, rubbing Xu Heng’s bruised toe with care. “But I chose to like you. Only you. I didn’t leave myself a way out. You’ve blocked every path I had.”

Xu Heng had no response.

“I’m heading out now.”

He stood alone in the room, listening as the front door shut with a heavy thud. For a long moment, he just stood there, blankly going through the motions—washing his face, brushing his teeth. The scent of something warm and savory drifted from the kitchen.

He walked over, lifted the lid off the pot, and found a thick pot of century egg and pork congee.

Grabbing a spoon, he dipped it into the pot and brought it to his mouth.

It was salty. Really salty.