Chapter 33

Chen Ang was sick. Not sick enough to go to the hospital, but clearly unwell enough to need rest. Naturally, that meant going home. He wanted to go to Xu Heng’s place, but Xu Heng said the heater at his place was broken.

“My place is freezing. It won’t do. Let’s go to yours,” Xu Heng said.

Chen Ang stood still. “You’re coming?”

Xu Heng sighed. “Let’s go.”

Xu Heng initially planned to call a cab, but Chen Ang told him there was no need. Though Xu Heng had a driver’s license, he had barely driven enough times to count on one hand, and definitely didn’t dare drive Chen Ang’s car.

During the ride, Xu Heng kept casting worried glances at him, blinking anxiously. At every red light, he would ask if Chen Ang was alright, if he was dizzy, if anything felt wrong, like he was looking after a kid who might pass out just from shifting gears.

Chen Ang patiently responded to each question. No, I’m fine. Not dizzy. I feel okay right now.

There were other residents in the elevator, so the two of them stayed quiet. After stepping out, when they were alone at the door, Chen Ang couldn’t help himself and pulled Xu Heng into a hug. Xu Heng seemed to have grown a little taller, but still felt small in his arms, as if he could be folded completely into his chest.

Xu Heng looked up from his embrace and noticed a troubled, conflicted look on Chen Ang’s face.

“What’s wrong? Did you forget your keys?” he asked.

Chen Ang lowered his head and placed a kiss on the tip of Xu Heng’s ear, hidden in his hair. His voice was hoarse from the fever.

“No kissing. You’ll catch it.”

Suddenly, the door flew open. Chen Jing stood there with a blank expression.

“Are you coming in or not?”

Xu Heng turned bright red and scrambled out of Chen Ang’s arms. He couldn’t even look at her, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

“H-hello…” he stammered.

Chen Ang took his hand and gently straightened his fingers, lacing them together.

Chen Jing pulled on a face mask and muttered, “I’m heading out. Make sure he takes his meds.”

Xu Heng, still flustered, responded quickly, “O-okay. Goodbye.”

Chen Jing shot him a glance. “Why are you the one saying that? I told him to take the medicine.”

Xu Heng straightened a little, his tone serious. “I’ll make sure he does.”

Chen Ang lifted his hand and covered the corner of his mouth, trying to hide his smile, but anyone could see it. Even a blind man would notice.

Chen Jing looked like she wanted to say something, then gave up. She walked past them and stabbed the elevator button with unnecessary force.

Chen Ang called after her. “Will you be okay on your own?”

“I’ll be more than fine. You focus on getting better,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

Xu Heng mumbled, “Bye-bye.”

Chen Jing glanced at him briefly, then stepped into the elevator and went downstairs.

This was Xu Heng’s second time at Chen Ang’s place. After taking off his shoes, he went to the coffee table and grabbed the air conditioner remote. As he hung his scarf and coat on the rack near the entrance, he turned up the temperature two degrees and asked, “Do you have a thermometer?”

Chen Ang handed one to him from the drawer.

Xu Heng nearly rolled his eyes. He touched Chen Ang’s forehead.

“You need to use it. What if you’ve already cooked your brain?”

Chen Ang looked a little embarrassed but obediently took the thermometer and sat down on the sofa to check his temperature. Xu Heng pulled him back up and steered him toward the bed.

“You don’t feel burning hot. Just sweat it out and rest. I’ll make you some plain porridge.”

The bedroom was upstairs in the duplex. Chen Ang quietly stepped up the stairs and lay down on the bed. He didn’t draw the heavy curtains. From the room, he could hear the soft sounds of Xu Heng moving around, opening and closing the fridge, his footsteps light and careful.

For the first time in days, Chen Ang’s anxious heart felt at ease. He closed his eyes.

He didn’t know how long he slept. When he woke up, the sky had darkened and golden sunset light poured into the room.

He blinked slowly. Xu Heng had also fallen asleep next to him, lying across the blanket, brow slightly furrowed, lips slightly parted, the corners of his mouth gently curved. In his hand was the thermometer.

The reading was just over thirty-eight degrees. Not too high, but enough to feel it.

Chen Ang didn’t move or say anything. He just lay there, head tilted, quietly watching him.

As if sensing something, Xu Heng shifted his face slightly against the blanket and opened his eyes.

His eyes were still glistening with sleep, a soft blush marked his cheek. Without thinking, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Chen Ang’s forehead. His voice was drowsy and nasal.

“Doesn’t feel as hot anymore.”

Chen Ang suddenly said, “I’m sorry.”

Xu Heng paused. “What for?”

“I pretended to be in a relationship with a woman,” Chen Ang said. “To fool my parents. But she doesn’t like me. She doesn’t like men at all. It wasn’t real. Just a way to get through it. My parents might have already found out about us.”

Xu Heng didn’t expect him to say all this now, in this moment, so openly and honestly.

Seeing his silence, Chen Ang’s voice grew more anxious. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I was afraid they’d hurt you. But this wasn’t a good way either. I… I’m sorry. Baby, I’m sorry. I love you..”

Xu Heng reached up and placed a hand gently on the side of Chen Ang’s face, leaning down to kiss him on the lips and cutting off his words.

Chen Ang instinctively pulled back a little. “You’ll catch it.”

Xu Heng kissed him again, quickly and softly. Chen Ang reached out from under the blanket and pulled him into his arms. The two of them lay there, one atop the other, wrapped together under the covers.

Xu Heng said softly, “Don’t call me that.”

Chen Ang asked, “Call you what?”

“That… ‘baby’ thing,” Xu Heng said with some embarrassment.

Chen Ang grinned. “What’s wrong with it?”

Xu Heng lightly bumped his forehead against Chen Ang’s chin. “Where’s your pride? Go pick it up.”

Chen Ang chuckled. “I had a cat when I was little. Her name was Baby. She didn’t like anyone. Cats don’t usually like people anyway. But she liked me. She’d snuggle up to sleep with me every day. I liked her the most. Then a relative came to stay with us. They were allergic to cats. She got sent away. When I tried to bring her back later… she had gone missing.”

Xu Heng asked curiously, “Did you cry?”

“No. I stopped crying much once I grew up. I just… never kept another pet after that,” Chen Ang replied.

Xu Heng lifted his head and gave a kiss to Chen Ang’s chin, the bristle of stubble making his lips itch.

Later, Chen Ang got up and ate the porridge Xu Heng had cooked. It wasn’t the bland kind made for the sick. There were small cuts of dried scallop inside, and just a hint of sugar. It had a faint sweetness and was easy to eat. Chen Ang finished half the pot in one sitting and put the rest in the fridge.

After the meal, Xu Heng washed the dishes and checked the time.

Chen Ang flopped dramatically onto the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. “Ugh, my head feels kind of dizzy.”

Xu Heng, holding his jacket, gave him an exasperated look. “And what would make it stop spinning?”

Chen Ang sighed like life had no meaning. “A kiss from Baby would help.”

Xu Heng threw his jacket at him. It landed square on Chen Ang’s face, making him flail like a dying frog.

“Your sister’s coming back soon,” Xu Heng warned.

“She’s not coming back,” Chen Ang muttered.

Xu Heng could only shake his head. There was nothing he could do with him.

“Go shower. But don’t take too long, or you’ll catch a chill.”