Chapter 41

After getting through the difficult adjustment period, Xu Heng began to regularly stream live every week again. The content of his streams was mostly makeup looks he had been studying and practicing recently. Occasionally, he would ask Zou He to be his model because Zou He’s eyebrows and eyes were more defined and delicate. In comparison, Xu Heng’s slightly droopy eyes always made his eye makeup appear a bit lazy, often swallowing part of the look.

Zou He was casual and unconcerned with details, though sometimes a bit picky and acting like a spoiled young master who hadn’t tasted the hardships of life. Xu Heng sometimes felt that Zou He’s attitude was a bit similar to Chen Ang’s. They both knew each other’s sexual orientation, and Zou He seemed to have someone he had secretly liked for years. Their interactions were always quite relaxed.

On the second time Xu Heng resumed his live streaming, he saw the flashy ID of a fan who had tipped a large amount of money. The profile picture was a random default system image, and the information was all blank, including the gender. The name was an English one: “Chris.”

Even when Zou He was sitting there as a model, he couldn’t stay still, moving around as if his butt was nailed to the chair. He suddenly exclaimed, “Wow, you have a rich fan! They really love you, huh? Mmm..”

Xu Heng was in the middle of applying contouring to Zou He’s high nose bridge. His hand froze, and he quickly tried to cover Zou He’s mouth. Zou He yelled and squirmed, desperately shouting, “The makeup’s ruined, ruined!”

Xu Heng kicked Zou He’s chair, sending him and the chair out of the frame. He cleared his throat, glanced at the camera, then looked away. The makeup brush in his hand absentmindedly moved back and forth in his palm.

“Mm, thank you, thank you for the tip.”

From that moment on, the wealthy fan never missed one of Xu Heng’s streams. It felt like a secret companionship, an unspoken connection hidden under the watchful eyes of everyone else. Gradually, Xu Heng began sharing some of his observations from life in Japan during his streams. He would talk about small things from his daily life, like a stray cat he encountered on his way out in the morning, or how the wind was too strong on his way home at night. Sometimes, he would realize that he was veering too far off-topic in a beauty livestream and would awkwardly end the conversation, softly saying, “See you next time.”

A little happy, yet a bit of an unavoidable sadness lingered.

Xu Heng noticed that one day, halfway through the stream, the familiar ID didn’t show up. He was distracted throughout the entire broadcast, and it lasted until the end.

What happened?

Xu Heng thought about it repeatedly, opening Chen Ang’s WeChat chat window several times, unsure of how to ask.

“Why didn’t you come watch my stream?”

But asking that seemed too silly.

Xu Heng curled up on the lazy sofa by the window, holding his phone, frowning in frustration.

Chen Ang didn’t mean to miss Xu Heng’s stream. He had gone home for dinner. As soon as he stepped into the house, he sensed something was off. The resignation letter he had submitted to his department leader that morning was lying on the coffee table in the living room. Chen Zhengde’s face was as dark as a pot bottom, and He Wan was at a loss, saying, “Xiao Ang, what’s going on? Your dad is really angry.”

Chen Ang had actually been mentally prepared for this. Submitting his resignation was no small matter. It had to go through several layers before eventually reaching Lu Yiran’s father, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. Lu Yiran was also there, sitting next to him, doing her best to minimize her presence. Chen Jing frowned, shaking her head at Chen Ang in disapproval.

Chen Zhengde bent two fingers and knocked heavily on the table, as if reprimanding an underling, and asked, “What’s going on?”

Chen Ang didn’t even bother to take off his coat. Standing in front of his entire family, he calmly said, “It’s just as I said, I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“What do you mean you don’t want to do it?” Chen Zhengde’s voice could only be described as a roar. “Nonsense!”

He Wan, seemingly startled, immediately stood up and tried to pull Chen Ang away, softly advising, “What are you saying? Stop messing around. This isn’t a child’s game… Yiran, you should say something too. What’s going on here?”

Lu Yiran didn’t want to get involved and hesitated for a long time without saying anything. Chen Ang directly interrupted her, “No need for her to advise me. We’re not together.”

It was like a thunderclap on a clear day, shocking everyone present, even Chen Zhengde, who was on the verge of fury, was momentarily stunned. “What? It was your Uncle Lu who gave me the resignation letter, not Yiran. Don’t try to twist things…”

Chen Ang raised his voice, “We were pretending. I like men.”

If the previous statement had been a thunderclap, this one could only be described as a nuclear explosion. The living room of the Chen family suddenly fell into eerie silence. The expressions on everyone’s faces were priceless. Chen Ang’s parents looked utterly incredulous, as though he had spoken an alien language. Chen Jing jumped up from the sofa as though pricked by a needle. Lu Yiran’s expression was complex, a mix of disapproval, sympathy, confusion, and a tiny hint of envy visible on her face.

He Wan tugged at Lu Yiran, seemingly hoping to hear her step forward and deny it.

“How… how is that possible? Xiao Ang, you.. you never… I didn’t know…”

Chen Ang interrupted, “Mom, I’m sorry. But there’s so much you don’t know. You didn’t know that I never liked model airplanes, even when you bought an entire cabinet full of them. You didn’t know that my sister has no feelings for Zhou Cheng’an. You didn’t know that I don’t like my current job. Maybe you do know, but you just don’t care.”

He Wan was visibly shaken, stepping back two paces as though struck by an invisible arrow, before collapsing onto the sofa. Chen Jing suddenly grabbed Chen Ang forcefully, “Stop it..”

The silent Chen Zhengde suddenly grabbed the glass ashtray beside him and threw it at Chen Ang. Chen Jing screamed and tried to pull him away, but it was too close, and she couldn’t get him out of the way. The ashtray struck Chen Ang on the forehead, and a wave of dizziness hit him. He staggered back two steps, his hand pressing against the cabinet behind him for support. His forehead went numb, and when he reached up to touch it, his hand was covered in blood.

The glass ashtray shattered on the floor.

Chen Jing shouted, “Are you crazy?! You’re going to kill him! Come on, Xiao Ang, let’s go to the hospital…”

The noise around him was overwhelming. The pain came a moment later, intense and rushing in. Chen Ang felt like his forehead was splitting open, and the pain was so overwhelming that he couldn’t think straight. He could only stagger and lean on Chen Jing as she helped him out the door, into the backseat of the car. She pressed her scarf tightly to his wound.

Lu Yiran also followed out and drove.

At the hospital, Lu Yiran parked the car and said, “I won’t go in. I’ll head off first.”

Chen Ang had dried blood scabs covering half of his face, and though the bleeding had slowed down, he still looked horrifying. He said, “Sorry.”

Lu Yiran replied, “It’s okay… You…”

Chen Ang interrupted her unfinished words, “I hope you find the one you love.”

“Thank you for your kind words.”

Lu Yiran smiled, her smile more genuine than any she had shown before.

Chen Ang had four stitches on his forehead, that looked like an ugly centipede. Chen Jing stayed by his side, scolding him the entire time, her voice constant. She still held the bloodstained scarf in her hands and wore slippers.

“I’m fine,” Chen Ang said. “I feel better now, like a weight has been lifted.”

During this time, he often thought about Xu Heng. At such a young age, he had left home to pursue what he wanted. How difficult must that have been? What kind of courage did it take to go to Japan alone? Now, Chen Ang understood. It was difficult, but not impossibly so.

He felt like a diver emerging from the depths of dark water, finally surfacing and taking his first breath of fresh air.

Chen Jing knew he had sold his car and was planning to sell his apartment. She had an inkling about his future plans, but only sighed and said, “If you have any difficulties, you must tell your sister.”

Chen Ang said, “Okay, but I still feel a little off. You should go see mom.”

“Okay.” Chen Jing stood on tiptoe and gave her brother, who was already much taller than her, a hug.

When they were alone, Chen Ang thought for a moment, then held his phone up to capture the ugly wound on his forehead. He posted the picture on his Moments with the caption: “Ruined my looks.”

Within two minutes, Xu Heng sent him a message.

“What happened?”

Chen Ang leaned against a streetlight and replied, “Nothing, just bumped my head.”

Xu Heng almost instantly replied: “Does it hurt?”

Chen Ang first typed “Not hurt,” but then reconsidered and deleted it.

“It hurts a lot, but a kiss would make it stop.” Chen Ang smiled as he typed. Suddenly, all the barriers and uncertainties between him and Xu Heng seemed to vanish. He had finally figured out his direction, and now, all he had to do was walk forward with certainty.