ITDW 17

The three days passed by in a pale blur, as if diluted in water. During that time, Jaeri didn’t even eat properly and was scolded once by Jungyoon. He was punished by having to stand with his hands raised for a full hour. The punishment only ended when his arms hurt so much that a tear welled up from the misery.

For those three days, it was as if gaping holes were being punched in a corner of his heart, to the point he wondered if he had switched to a depressive state. Every time a hole appeared, if he tried to fill it with other thoughts, another hole would immediately form elsewhere. With feelings of self-loathing, guilt, depression, defeat, unfairness, anger, and so on.

However, separate from his mood, there was a clue that he was currently in a hypomanic period. He wasn’t lethargic. During hypomanic periods, his drive to actively solve problems always soared. This was because his mind worked well, and his motivation, like a spring that never ran dry no matter how much you drew from it, was full and waiting, hoping to be taken out and used at any moment.

Still, there was no brilliant solution for now. He needed to think a little more about that brilliant solution, so for the time being, he decided he had to postpone his clinic appointment.

“…I don’t feel well. I think I have a fever, hyung.”

Jaeri said, standing at the doorway of Jungyoon’s open room. Jungyoon’s room, whether it was his study or his bedroom, was always wide open, and a door stopper held it fixed in that wide-open state. He had started doing that after he learned that when Jaeri’s depression was severe, he would pace in front of Jungyoon’s door and then just turn back. Since then, Jaeri would stand at the doorway without knocking and state his business once Jungyoon gave him his attention.

Jungyoon, who was looking over materials on a tablet, beckoned Jaeri over with a gesture, and he approached him. He placed a hand on the boy’s forehead. He could only feel a slight fever, but the corners of his eyes were red.

“How do you not feel well?”

“I’m dizzy, I have a fever, ah… I feel like I’m going to throw up, and my stomach hurts. I think I caught a cold.”

Jungyoon silently took a thermometer out of the table drawer and placed it in Jaeri’s ear. In just a few seconds, with a beep-beep—, the thermometer made a sound, and Jungyoon checked the temperature.

“…How are you even standing right now? With a fever this high.”

Jaeri weakly closed and opened his eyes.

“Hyung… can I go lie down for a bit…?”

“I need to check your vitals. Why is your temperature like this.”

“…What?”

Jungyoon silently showed the thermometer in front of Jaeri’s eyes. 46.3 degrees.

Jaeri was so startled he bit the inside of his mouth, but Jungyoon silently went out to the living room, found something in the drawer where he kept medical supplies, and headed for the sofa.

“You need to come here.”

Jaeri, realizing what he was about to do, approached him, sat down below the sofa, and looked up at him.

“Get up here.”

“Hyung….”

At the gaze that stared at him intently, Jaeri simply shut his mouth, stood up, and sat next to him. He wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Jaeri’s upper arm and, while the measurement was in progress, began to count Jaeri’s respirations with a serious expression, looking at his chest. Jaeri felt his heart starting to beat faster for no reason at the sight of his face looking down at him with concentration, so he only looked outside. Soon, Jaeri’s blood pressure and pulse appeared on the blood pressure monitor’s screen.

“140 beats per minute. Your pulse is too fast. …Let’s measure your temperature again. Take off your pants.”

Jungyoon stared at the numbers on the blood pressure monitor for a while. His blood pressure was also higher than usual. Jungyoon began to disinfect a new rectal thermometer he had taken out with alcohol.

“Hyung, that…”

“My little brother has a fever of 46.3 degrees, so of course I have to re-measure it.”

Although Jaeri sensed something in his tone when he said 46.3 degrees, he couldn’t offer any argument seeing his grim-set mouth and took off his pants. While he was hesitating, he said.

“Take off your underwear too.”

Jaeri took off his panties as well and squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment, and he said.

“Lie face down on the sofa.”

He lay face down as he was told. He followed his order because he was the one giving it, but he felt like he would die of embarrassment, lying face down with only his bottom half undressed. His expression was so grim that he couldn’t even playfully say that it was okay now, that he didn’t feel sick anymore. Jaeri felt like a fish laid out on a cutting board.

Jungyoon knelt beside him and looked at Jaeri’s trembling shoulders for a moment, then applied ointment to the thermometer with an emotionless gaze. The moment he slightly spread Jaeri’s buttocks apart, Jaeri crawled forward and ran away.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m sorry.”

“Rectal measurement is the most accurate for temperature.”

“…I’m sorry… I, for pretending to be sick.”

“Baby, come here. Before I have to come and get you.”

His voice was unusually sweet. Jaeri shed a single tear at his strict demeanor pretending to be affectionate. His whole body turned bright red. He deserved to be scolded. Right now.

Jaeri hesitantly approached him and once again presented his rear and lay face down. The impulse to run away was swarming inside him.

Again, Jungyoon spread Jaeri’s buttocks apart with extreme slowness and thrust the thermometer in.

“Aghk….”

No matter how thin the thermometer was, it hurt being thrust in so roughly. Jungyoon patted one of Jaeri’s buttocks, pat, pat, as if to say ‘good job,’ then stood up from the sofa, looked down at Jaeri, and said.

“Rectal measurement takes a little time. Stay like that. It will only take 5 minutes.”

While Jaeri was lying face down on the sofa with his head buried, he came from the kitchen with a freshly brewed coffee. Then he sat down next to him and began to read the newspaper while drinking the fragrant coffee. Jaeri, next to him, bit his lips hard and swallowed the tears that were coming. The weight of the thermometer in his rear was also so embarrassing. All the exposed skin, like his buttocks and thighs, must have turned red. Even his own two hands, visible to him now, were red. The arms he was propped on trembled slightly. Sob… A small crying sound escaped, but he immediately swallowed his breath and made no more noise.

It seemed like 5 minutes had passed, but he just kept reading the newspaper. After listening for a long while to the rustle of paper friction every time he turned a page, Jaeri summoned his courage and spoke.

“Hyung… I think it’s been 5 minutes.”

“Really? Why didn’t it make a sound. Did you hear a sound?”

What sound is he talking about?

“…No.”

“You’ll hear a beep when the temperature measurement is complete.”

Jungyoon answered like a businesslike doctor weary from work and turned his head back to the newspaper.

“Hyung… sob…. I… I’m sorry. This… stop… I’m embarrassed….”

“I know. Why won’t it measure the temperature, making our Jaeri embarrassed.”

Jaeri continued to plead with him as he replied casually without even taking his eyes off the newspaper.

“…I think it’s broken, hyung….”

“But I really need to know your exact temperature. Let’s wait a little longer.”

“…What if it’s broken…?”

“Is that so? Is it not working.”

At the continuous backtalk, Jungyoon moved his gaze from the newspaper back to the thermometer stuck in Jaeri’s rear. He took hold of the end of the thermometer with his hand. Then, as if it were a handle, he gripped it firmly and drew a circle with it while it was still inserted.

“Aghk, ah, ugh, hyung…!”

“I should help it register the temperature more quickly.”

“Sob, I’ll just, I’ll just wait…”

Jaeri cried, looking back. Just then, his eyes met Jungyoon’s. Jungyoon glanced at his wristwatch.

“We need to hurry, it’s almost time for the hospital appointment.”

He patted one buttock, pat-pat, as if to soothe him, then drew another large circle. At that, Jaeri’s body trembled violently, and he buried his head forward and let out a cry. At that moment, almost miraculously in Jaeri’s perception, a sound was heard. Beep—.

Jaeri buried his head completely and cried, and Jungyoon pulled out the thermometer. As soon as it was out, Jaeri crawled forward, escaping Jungyoon’s grasp. He immediately found his underwear and pants, put them on, and wildly wiped away the tears that kept streaming down with the back of his hand. His gaze, when they met, was sharp.

He showed him the thermometer.

36.5 degrees.

“If you wanted to play doctor, you should have just said so… Did you have fun?”