ITDW 33

A certain tension flowed. The coolness touched his body directly, giving him goosebumps.

He knew that after hearing his words now, he would lose the good excuse of not having understood, making him even more powerless in front of him.

Still, he wanted to know. What the changed relationship with his hyung was, why he no longer needed to be ashamed of anything in front of his hyung.

His body became sensitive due to the tension. The area around his shoulder where his gaze landed seemed to tingle, and he felt as if he could feel each and every strand of the fluffy hair of the floor rug that touched his knees.

Seeing the tense Jaeri, he smiled. It was a face that, just like when he found out he was the object of his brother’s one-sided love, was bright and yet somewhere revealed a terribly self-centered satisfaction without hiding it.

“What should we do with our little one?”

“……”

He said in a pitiful voice. Jaeri’s lips trembled slightly. The ‘useless’ thought that his hyung might be trying to punish him now raised its head again. His touching the holes of his body today could also be a strict punishment for his brother who liked him and was in heat.

“Because hyung, adores you so much. Jaeri is a bit pitiful, isn’t he.”

His voice sounded like he was teasing. He brushed aside Jaeri’s short hair, which hadn’t even fallen down. Jaeri couldn’t understand what he was teasing him about. Was it ‘adores you’, or ‘pitiful’?

Jaeri looked up at Jungyoon. With a trembling voice, he gathered all the pieces of his courage as if collecting grains of gold dust and asked.

“…Are you really… adoring me?”

“I told you I would really do whatever I want with you.”

“…Yes.”

He pressed firmly on Jaeri’s lips.

“How far did you think I would go when you said you liked it?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

Jaeri’s lips were mashed messily as he answered. He smiled.

“Your heart, that body.”

“……”

He didn’t quite understand at once. Because he spoke with a warning expression, it felt as if he had heard something dangerous. He looked up at him.

“It means that I will be a bit more of a strict hyung to you.”

“…More…?”

It was a dangerous statement, indeed. Jaeri’s face became mournful, unable to hide his downturned eyebrows. Jaeri couldn’t understand. Was it really a punishment? How, from here, how can you become stricter? If he were in his hypomanic state, he would have asked that question clearly and smartly.

“Because my things, I only cherish them when they’re in my hands.”

“My things…?”

“You are my, lovely, Jaeri, aren’t you?”

He spoke, putting emphasis on and pausing at each word. Jaeri swallowed his saliva at those words. He blinked.

“…I… so… Yes.”

“I’m going to do whatever I want with you. Will you follow me well?”

Jaeri, who had vaguely understood the meaning of his words, nodded his head with a dazed look.

“I’m going to touch and play with your body however I want, too.”

“Yes, hyung.”

In that dark space, Jaeri felt his vision turn white with light. And even in that state of confusion, he answered firmly and clearly in his own way.

He smiled.

“Sex education really had no effect on you.”

“…That’s, because it’s hyung… If it were another man,”

“Why do you think I took you to that place today?”

“…To test if I would listen only to you, hyung…”

Even though he was in a depressive period, a sense of satisfaction that he had become a bit smarter bloomed within him.

In the meantime, Jungyoon placed his foot on a point between Jaeri’s legs. Seeing that, Jaeri tensed up and looked up at Jungyoon, but their gazes immediately clashed, and he lowered his eyes to his knee.

“That’s right.”

He pressed down, hard.

“Ugh, th…”

At the unfamiliar pain, Jaeri only repeatedly clenched and unclenched his free fingers that were on the floor. He scraped the floor, putting strength into his fingers and enduring it.

“What should you have done today?”

“…Mother was asking… so then… I don’t know.”

He really couldn’t know. His mother was a scary person, and since she was blaming his hyung, he had to clarify something.

“Aack, hak…. Ah…”

Even as he was being crushed, Jaeri just endured the pain. He wasn’t used to pain itself, but he was used to enduring the pain he gave him.

“When you’re in a difficult situation, you look at me, and ask me to solve it.”

“…Euut…”

“Understood?”

“…Yes. Ugh…”

He reduced the pressure he was applying to Jaeri’s center and caressed it teasingly before letting it go.

“Get up.”

As Jaeri got up, he also stood up. He wrapped his arms around Jaeri’s waist from behind. His body was firmly bound by his arms, and soon after, his upper body was bent forward.

Smack—!

He brought a painful spank down on his buttock, his hand filled with strictness.

“Aack…”

It was only one, but it hurt a lot. As Jaeri reached a hand back to rub his sore buttock, he let go of Jaeri. As Jaeri turned around to see how red his buttock had become, he spoke.

“You’re erect again. Go take care of it.”

His face flushed, Jaeri clamped his mouth shut and went back into the bathroom attached to his room. He was a little disappointed that his hyung didn’t touch him this time either. If he were in his hypomanic state, he might have been able to carefully ask him to do it, but now there was no way he could say such a thing.

Jaeri was a very sensitive person. So he ejaculated quickly. He was a little embarrassed about that, so he stayed in the bathroom a little longer before coming out.

He said, lying languidly on the bed.

“Come up.”

“Hyung. My pajamas.”

“It’s fine.”

It was the first time he had asked him to sleep together first. As he stood naked in front of his bed, Jungyoon lifted the covers, as if inviting him in.

When he went into the space he had opened up and lay down facing him, a large hand caressed the buttock that had just been painfully struck. Jaeri felt unnecessarily shy and buried his head in his chest. It was really warm even without pajamas.

Just as he was about to fall asleep. A bleak sense of depression washed over Jaeri’s insides like a tide. Even the white light he had briefly seen had faded to a sad blue.

His affection is an emotion that will one day vanish into thin air in his hands, and when he has to do bigger things in the future, a brother with bipolar disorder will only be a burden, and just as his hyung’s mother said, he will have to become independent someday…

He slowly stroked Jaeri’s bare, scarred back. As he stroked down, a gentleness spread like water from the touching skin. Jaeri burrowed deeper into his embrace. The worries, nervousness, and anxious feelings that had been rushing in, slowly, drained out through some hole. Every time he stroked his back down once, the black sea became lighter. As he was about to fall asleep, it felt as if an emerald sea was reflected in his eyes. He felt the comfort of lounging under the sun. Soon, Jaeri’s breathing began to hiss, stable.

“Grow up quickly, my baby.”

Jungyoon continued to stroke his Jaeri.