ITDW 36

In the natural order of this world, where worthless things must die and new things must be born, amidst such aggressive people, a weak attribute is merely an object of disgust.

Jaeri sat on Jungyoon’s bed, looking at nothing, just staring into the empty air and continuing to belittle himself, before he collapsed sideways as if fainting. The scent of Jungyoon wafting from the bedding embraced Jaeri. Jaeri tried to breathe on top of that blanket, then fell asleep.

He thought it felt like soft down landing on him. How could there be such a gentle touch?

“Jaeri.”

“Hyung… you’re here? I, I wasn’t being lazy…”

He smiled affectionately.

“I came home early. To see my Jaeri.”

Jaeri looked at Jungyoon without a word. His vision gradually brightened from the edges. The effects of sleep also began to clear away. He realized the temperature of the light illuminating the room was not that cold. The sun had not set yet.

The embrace that suddenly wrapped around him was large. His body heat spread from his shoulders, back, chest, and arms. The sensation felt like a fence enclosing and holding him. He put his nose to his neck. The warm body heat touched the bridge of his nose, and the scent of his skin mixed with the scent of his perfume entered his nostrils. He took a deep breath as if that scent were oxygen and buried his head. He liked the soft yet durable texture of the shirt against his cheek.

Jungyoon patted Jaeri’s thin back. Jaeri, who had already poured out his thunderous emotions, did not cry anymore. The roots of the emotions he had spat out had now receded back into a deep, invisible place. He did not know when those filthy emotions would suddenly rear their heads again, but right now, he did not want to think about such things.

The one he had missed so much had come for him.

“Jaeri, if you’re having a hard time, you have to contact me.”

Jungyoon said, listening to Jaeri’s wheezing breaths against his neck.

He had almost missed that Jaeri was in pain. When Jungyoon had just come in after finishing a meeting, Jaeri was not on the screen. He had it set to dual-screen the living room and Jaeri’s room, but he was in neither. While switching screens, he gave a standby order to the heads of Security Teams 1 and 2.

Soon after, when he switched the screen, he saw the child asleep, clutching the blanket tightly. It was his own bedroom. When he zoomed in on the screen, he could see tear stains on the blanket and around his eyes. He had had various thoughts on his hurried way home.

He could not keep watching what Jaeri was doing, but he did not want anyone else to watch either.

“…I’m not supposed to disturb you while you’re working, hyung.”

Jaeri whispered, as if muttering, while held in his arms. His mouth was almost, but not quite, touching Jungyoon’s shoulder.

Jungyoon held Jaeri so tightly there was no gap between them. He remembered a time he had scolded Jaeri severely. He was only now regretting it.

Life as a cardiothoracic surgery resident was a forced march every day, and there were many days he could not even sleep for three hours. One day, when he had not been home for over two weeks, Jaeri had come to the emergency room at two in the morning. Perhaps knowing he would not be welcomed, the kid had looked at him nervously, saying, “I came because I missed you so much, hyung….” and he had scolded him harshly.

Even when he fought desperately to save dying people, covered in blood, he saved half and the other half died. In a state where both his mind and body were sharply on edge, he could not empathize with the child. He had not comforted him as he sobbed after being scolded, had not answered when he said he was sorry, and had called a driver to send him back.

“As long as it’s not a matter of someone dying, it’s okay to disturb me.”

At Jungyoon’s words, Jaeri smiled faintly, as if recalling the same memory, and said.

“You were really scary back then, hyung. Really.”

“Call me. Understood?”

“Yes….”

Permission was granted to set one foot into the forbidden territory of his work hours.

Jaeri brought his lips to his chin. But he was immediately stopped by him.

“What’s wrong with your lips.”

Jungyoon held Jaeri’s chin with one hand, lowered his head, and carefully examined Jaeri’s mouth. Both corners of his mouth were torn, and a scab had hardened on his lower lip.

Jungyoon looked at Jaeri with a gaze that demanded an answer. He had thought he was sucking on the artificial penis a bit roughly, but he had not known he had shoved it in so hard that his whole mouth was torn up.

He was angry that he had hurt himself while practicing alone, clumsily and foolishly, just because he wanted to be so good at sex. He had taught him how to masturbate anally with great care, so he hadn’t worried about that, but he hadn’t known he would cause trouble elsewhere.

He was not the type of person to simply accept a situation where something unexpected happened to what was in his possession. Rebuttals or consolations like, “how can a person predict everything,” or “things like that just happen,” did not work on him. In the first place, this was not a matter of reason, but a matter of emotion.

“Earlier…. I bit my lips and cried.”

“What about the wounds at the corners of your mouth.”

“…That, I was yawning really big, and it happened.”

Jaeri told an obvious lie. In any case, Jungyoon did not expect Jaeri to be honest.

Jungyoon roughly swept his thumb over the torn corners of Jaeri’s mouth.

“Ah, that hurts….”

“Yawning.”

Jungyoon raised his eyebrows. At his skeptical tone, as if asking if it was really from yawning, Jaeri nodded. He could not think of any other excuse.

“Whatever it is, from now on, you’ll be scolded if you get hurt without permission.”

“Yes.”

Jungyoon explicitly took away one more of Jaeri’s freedoms.

He stroked Jaeri’s wounded lips and the corners of his mouth so as not to hurt them.

The action was as if he were handling a precious object. His gaze was less like that of someone looking at a treasured lover with pathos, and more cold and calculating, as if assessing how to manage it. The hand stroking the wounds seemed more displeased than sympathetic.

He did not hide his expression, and Jaeri read his thoughts. His heart was pressed down firmly, like scattered soil being pressed down to form a shape. He felt a sense of stability in that pressure.

The things he looked after and managed as his possessions were not only safe, but they also could not escape his hands. He does not let go of what comes into his grasp.

The finger that had been stroking his lips parted them. Jaeri opened his mouth slightly so that his finger could enter. Two long fingers pressed down on his tongue and continued to enter. Jaeri gradually had to open his mouth wider.

The tongue, pressed under Jungyoon’s fingers, squirmed. The pressure gradually moved upward and began to press on the root of his tongue. The completely dominated tongue fluttered, tickling the edges of his fingers. The fingers reached his throat.

“Ghk….”

Tears welled up in his eyes. He could not understand why his hyung kept making his throat feel so strained. It was an unfamiliar sensation.

As tears streamed down, his fingers came out of his mouth. He casually rubbed his wet fingers around Jaeri’s wounded mouth. Jaeri pressed his lips together tightly and endured the stinging.

It seemed to be a punishment for having flawed his precious object.

Jaeri’s lips, both top and bottom, were glistening.

Jungyoon looked at them as if appreciating them, then began to suck on the plump lower lip. Jaeri gasped in surprise, and his shoulders were pushed back. He supported his waist with one hand and laid Jaeri down on the bed.

Kissing while lying down was different. He felt helpless, as if there was no strength in any part of his body. Jaeri tried to raise his arms to wrap them around Jungyoon’s neck, but both his wrists were caught in his hand.

Jungyoon pressed them down, crossed, above Jaeri’s head. Now he was truly helpless.

The force on his wrists, his legs trapped between his, the difference in their gazes, having to look up from below.

Jaeri closed his eyes and tried to focus all his senses on his mouth. The kiss with him was languid and then suddenly urgent, wet and yet rough. He had to follow that pace well.

He sucked on the mucous membrane inside his lips, and also bit down without causing pain. The obscene sounds of wet flesh sticking and unsticking continued for a long while.

Feeling a slight chill on his body, he opened his eyes to see him unbuttoning his pajamas. With just one touch of his hand, the buttons came undone without any resistance.

He was tense from watching that and could not focus on the kiss for a moment. Until now, he had been concentrating as much as possible and responding as he had learned—when he bit his lips, he would pucker his own lips to suck on his, when he turned his head, he would turn in the opposite direction so his tongue could easily enter his mouth, and when he caressed the roof of his mouth, he would touch his tongue from below in the same way.

The hand that had been unbuttoning his shirt came up and roughly grabbed Jaeri’s chin, pulling it up. Their eyes met. Jaeri blinked at the scolding eyes looking down at him.

A rough kiss that left him breathless followed.

In the brief moment their joined lips parted, Jaeri exhaled. He glanced down to see his pajamas parted to the sides, exposing his upper body.

Just as he was thinking it was a bit chilly, his palm came up onto Jaeri’s chest.

“Ugh….”

His palm pressed down gently on his chest before pulling away, and then rubbed shallowly. He could feel his nipple hardening and his sensory nerves concentrating in that small area.

He pinched the erect nipple between his index and middle fingers, and rubbed them together finely. The nubbin swayed from side to side. Jaeri squeezed his legs tightly together and tried to keep his body from bucking. Even in the midst of it all, the kisses continued without rest.

“Ugh. Hyung, hyung….”

Jaeri turned his head to avoid him and spoke. His whole body tingled with the feeling that he was about to get an erection, but he showed no leniency.

When he turned his head, he followed him and kissed him persistently. Each time, his neck brushed against his, and his body odor mixed with the scent of his perfume entered deep into his nostrils. The concentration of his body odor was a little stronger than before.

He gave up trying to avoid it and continued the wet friction, but the captured nipple kept bothering him. He tormented only one nipple. It felt like it might be painful, and also like it was sending shivers through him. Different kinds of pleasure rose from two places, his mouth and his chest, at the same time, and arousal pooled in his lower body.

He felt his cotton underwear sticking to him from below. Just as he thought how embarrassing it was, he pulled away. He put his arm between his waist to lift his hips slightly, then pulled his pajama bottoms down. The half-removed bottoms were caught around his calves.

His penis was erect beneath his cotton underwear, and the spot it touched was clearly stained with precum. Jaeri lowered his freed hands to cover it, but both his wrists were once again bound by one of his hands.

Jaeri crossed his legs as if to intertwine them.

“Shall I teach you how to suck a dick.”

The back of Jungyoon’s hand brushed over the wet underwear. It felt like the viscous fluid would stick to the back of his hand. He brushed over it several times, changing directions.

“…Ngh…. Hyung… I. Ah,”

He had not even answered when his hooked fingers pulled down his underwear.

“You have an expression that says you want to learn.”

“…No….”

He answered without even looking at Jaeri’s face.

“What do you mean, no.”

Suddenly, he pulled Jaeri’s upper body up and commanded.

“Hands, behind your back.”

“……”

Though puzzled by his words, he put both hands behind his back, and he laid Jaeri down just like that. Both his hands were pressed under his own back. He was only being pressed down by his own weight, but it felt as if his hands were bound.

His pajama bottoms were caught around his calves, and his underwear was caught mid-buttocks, barely exposing his genitals. The clothes seemed to restrain his lower body, preventing him from moving.

“Even if you want to pull your hands out, hold it in.”

Jungyoon touched Jaeri’s penis from all sides, as if analyzing it. He lifted the already erect member up even higher to get a clearer view of the contours of his testicles, and he also tried to rotate the shaft bluntly between his index and middle fingers, as if rolling a pen. It did not rotate, but his penis was rubbed between his fingers, causing Jaeri to whimper.

He lowered his upper body. Jaeri squeezed his eyes shut.

The head of his penis was swallowed into his mouth in one go.

“Ngh… Hah.”

He did not go any further. Each time he gently stroked the head with his tongue, Jaeri made a sound and writhed.

“Agh… th… hyung, I… hngh… so…”

Each time he used the tip of his tongue to poke at the head inside his mouth and draw circles, Jaeri’s body tried to jump up. However, his hands were not supposed to come out, so Jaeri tensed his own waist and pressed his back against the bed to keep his hips from bucking up and down. So instead of jumping, his body just twitched.