ITDW 43

Jungyoon organized his desk and gathered his documents. The rustling sound of paper continued for a while.

He picked up his briefcase and walked past Jaeri. The sound of footsteps grew distant, and the lights in the Vice President’s office went out. Click. The sound of the door closing followed. The sound of the door locking automatically.

“……”

He continued to stand, taking the darkness like a whip. Tears dripped onto the carpet where Jaeri was standing. The carpet received the water, absorbing it all without leaving a trace on its surface. In the darkness, even the dark wet patch spreading on the carpet was not visible.

The sound of the clock’s second hand, the humming of a machine he couldn’t identify as an air purifier or something else, the sound of tears falling onto the carpet, the sound of his own fist brushing against his pant leg. Those sounds were everything.

He was scared. Because it was dark. However, he knows that hyung did not leave him behind. Because he knows, he waited. Hyung will come to get him.

The light beige wall was visible even in the dark. It felt like a ghost’s eyes might appear on that white wall, so he closed his eyes. Inside his closed eyes, blue dots zipped by like stars moving in the universe. He clenched his fists tightly. He waited because hyung would come.

Time, like a miser, flowed slowly, as if grudging the passing seconds.

Jaeri’s cheeks were soaked with fallen tears. His fingernails were painfully digging into his palms. His hands already had countless small cuts from making a large number of copies all day.

With a click, the door to the Vice President’s office opened and the lights turned on. Feeling as if a lamp had been lit in his heart, Jaeri couldn’t even turn around and just heaved his back as he wiped away his tears.

“Come here.”

At the welcome voice, he ran into his arms and hugged him. Held in his arms, he pressed his cheek against his shoulder. The scent of the outside wind was not on his collar. He breathed in his embrace.

Jungyoon’s hand slowly stroked Jaeri’s back, and his lips landed on Jaeri’s forehead. The forehead was slightly damp with sweat.

Jaeri hugged his waist even tighter.

After a time of comfort, he took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped Jaeri’s face. Jaeri quietly received his touch. It was comfortable even without any words.

Jaeri, looking without avoidance at his cufflinks that reflected the light, felt the edges of his vision darken slightly.

Jungyoon looked at Jaeri’s swollen eyes and smiled a little.

“Jaeri’s face is now known to the company. You’ve made your debut.”

“…Yes.”

“Though it doesn’t really matter.”

“…Yes.”

“You came to the Vice President’s office crying your eyes out after getting a call from me, so it ended up looking a bit funny. Right?”

“…Ah.”

Jaeri looked up at Jungyoon with a blank face.

“So why do you cry in front of people like that. Can’t you hold it in?”

“…I can hold it in.”

“But.”

“……”

“Are you going to cry again?”

“…From now on, I’ll hold it in.”

“Only show weakness in front of me.”

“I understand.”

Jaeri answered with a determined expression. His command was not difficult at all.

“You’ll be punished if you show tears in front of other people.”

“Yes, hyung.”

The hand that was stroking the back of Jaeri’s head moved down to his neck. And it lifted the tip of Jaeri’s chin. A short kiss followed.

In Jungyoon’s bedroom, Jaeri, wearing nothing, was nestled snugly in Jungyoon’s arms as if his whole body would be hidden.

Jaeri had received a sleeping pill from Jungyoon. He had been so tense all day that he felt his nerves were taut and he wouldn’t be able to sleep well, so he had asked him for it. Jungyoon gave him a sleeping pill from the medicine cabinet.

Jaeri’s eyes were getting heavy. The embrace he was in was as comfortable as a nest. His consciousness was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.

When he closed and opened his eyes, the scenery of the dimly lit bedroom would blur into a whirlpool shape and then return to its normal appearance. Jaeri was watching that whirlpool.

His low, murmuring voice clung sweetly to his ear like honey.

“Tomorrow is already the last day of this year.”

“…Yes.”

“The party starts at 10. You and I will go around 11.”

“Yes.”

Party… he thought the nuance of it was very glamorous. A butterfly with one letter of the word ‘party’ written on each of its wings fluttered about.

“Before we go to the party, wash your hole.”

“…Yes.”

Hole… hole was a word like a hole. Ho-o-ole. A black hole formed and sucked in the butterfly.

“People will try to stop you from leaving, so sneak out and.”

“Yes, hyung.”

Jaeri forced his eyes open. Come to think of it, he had heard him say to wash his hole. Consciousness pushed away the unconscious and selected the important information.

“Listen to the ringing of the New Year’s Eve bell.”

“…Yes.”

His eyes were closing, and he wondered if the saying that eyelids are heavy when you’re sleepy was a physical fact. Perhaps the eyelid muscles become about a hundred times heavier than usual. Or the force of gravity could selectively concentrate on the eyelids… so like this….

“The two of us will play alone.”

“…Yes.”

“It’ll be fun, right?”

“It’s… fun….”

Playing with hyung was fun. Jaeri was playing basketball with Jungyoon, then rolling around on the lawn, when suddenly his clothes disappeared and they rubbed their bodies against each other. Only he was naked. The atmosphere became a bit, erotic. He could see sweat beading on his own body, and that sweat looked as beautiful as dew. In the light dream, hyung sucked on his chest.

“Tomorrow night, I’m not giving you a sleeping pill even if you can’t fall asleep.”

“…Yes….”

“Tonight, sleep deeply, zzz.”

Jungyoon’s large hand covered Jaeri’s eyes. As if his words were a magic spell, at that moment Jaeri completely lost consciousness and fell asleep. In the dream, Jungyoon and Jaeri sweated a lot.