ITDW 7

“The color is deep.”

“…Yes.”

“It’s been a while, huh.”

“Yes… I haven’t done it.”

“Yeah. Good job.”

What he meant by good job puzzled both of them at the same time. Jungyoon reflected on the meaning of what he had just said. Jaeri felt that this conversation was somehow too embarrassing, so his body, which was already red, flushed even more hotly. Even Jungyoon turning on the shower again without a care and rinsing between his legs was so shameful that he subtly avoided his touch.

“Why are you embarrassed.”

“…Because it’s embarrassing….”

“It’s natural.”

“Yes….”

The afterglow hadn’t faded, so his words trailed on lengthily. Still, he thought it was fortunate that his hyung said it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about. If he had teased him about this, he would want to hide in a mouse hole.

Jungyoon wrapped Jaeri in a towel and left him momentarily in the powder room next to the shower stall, then came out after a quick shower of his own. Sitting just as he had been placed, with only his clear face exposed, he looked like a freshly bathed mild puppy. He applied lotion to Jaeri, cleaned his ears with a cotton swab, and even dried his hair.

Washing him like a child and then taking care of him afterward was Jungyoon’s way of comforting his pitiful younger brother after severe discipline. Jaeri clung to the man again.

“Hyung, I wanted to see you, but earlier at that raw fish restaurant, I saw hyung.”

“It’s not over yet. Hold onto the vanity and bend over.”

“…Yes?”

An expression that could have been surprise or sadness or fear floated profusely in Jaeri’s eyes. Noticing his bewilderment, Jungyoon chuckled lightly and showed him the ointment in his hand as he answered.

“You have to bend over to apply the ointment.”

“Ah, ah…. Yes.”

He visibly relaxed and gripped the vanity. Scratches and bruises were messily intertwined across his back, buttocks, and thighs. Jungyoon brightened the powder room lighting and examined each wound under that light. It must still hurt quite a bit now, and given how large the wounds were, he would suffer from pain for several days. He scooped up the ointment and applied it meticulously, then placed gauze over it so it wouldn’t get on his clothes. Once done, Jaeri fetched pajamas on his own and put them on. Next to him, Jungyoon also put on pajamas of the same design. The two left the bathroom and entered Jungyoon’s bedroom.

“Was the alcohol you tried to drink earlier today the first time?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me honestly. I’m asking to see if it’s okay to take your meds.”

“…You already know everything.”

“Yeah.”

Jaeri had suddenly realized on the airplane that the family security team had found him and just watched. It had been his hyung’s judgment to let him play for a short time. So, his hyung had appeared exactly right before he drank the alcohol.

For Jaeri, who took bipolar disorder medication and occasionally sleeping pills, alcohol was the most fatal indulgence that interacted with the drugs to cause side effects. Starting from side effects like hallucinations, illusions, sleepwalking, and so on, and in extreme cases, but occurring with quite high frequency, up to suicidal impulses.

Bipolar disorder already had the highest suicide rate among all mental illnesses statistically. Moreover, the bipolar II disorder that the boy suffered from had an even higher suicide rate for patients than bipolar I disorder. Jungyoon knew this with excessive precision, and Jaeri didn’t know because he hadn’t been told.

Jaeri had always heeded the doctor’s advice not to start drinking at all since alcohol could worsen the illness, and he was admitting that he had done something stupid this time, but that was all.

As Jaeri sat on his hyung’s bed, Jungyoon went to the kitchen and brought a stainless steel tray with the evening medications he would take today. On that tray, there were two syringes and two ampoules, along with saline solution and a few other medical supplies.

Jaeri first picked up the pills from there and swallowed them, then asked.

“Do I have to get a shot?”

“You’ve lost too much energy. Let’s get a nutritional supplement shot. And a painkiller.”

Jungyoon sat on the stool next to the bed. He diluted two bottles of nutritional supplement ampoules with saline solution to fill the syringe, then skillfully wrapped a tourniquet around Jaeri’s upper arm, found the vein, and injected it. Jaeri turned his head in the opposite direction and received the shot.

Feeling the nutritional solution going in without any pain at all, he turned his head back.

He saw him concentrating on administering the shot. The slightly furrowed brow with effort, the eyes staring fixedly at the vein, and the straight high nose with deep shadows beside it. The large hand carefully holding the syringe, and the roughly towel-dried, uncombed dark black hair. And the small water droplet forming at the end….

The boy gazed at his appearance as if entranced, and without realizing it, he extended his right arm, which wasn’t held by him, and caught the water droplet about to fall onto his cheek with his own hand. Jungyoon, without any movement at that touch, said lowly, “Stay still,” and used cotton to stop the bleeding at the spot where he had just given the nutritional shot. Then, he picked up the syringe filled with painkiller and began injecting into Jaeri’s right arm this time. Jaeri suddenly asked Jungyoon.

“Hyung, why did you decide to major in cardiac vascular surgery?”

“To save people.”

At Jungyoon’s nonchalant answer, Jaeri smiled brightly.

“Then hyung, you didn’t hate inheriting the company?”

“Not really.”

“Why did you go to medical school?”

“I’ve told you several times.”

Jungyoon pressed firmly with cotton on the injection site on his right arm to stop the bleeding.

“Just because you got the scores? Because you didn’t want to go to law school? To rebel against hyung’s mother?”

“Yeah.”

Jungyoon answered casually. After finishing the bleeding stop and discarding the cotton, as he stood up to properly dry his hair belatedly, Jaeri watched the man and laughed for some reason, excited.

“You’re cool.”

Jaeri got down from the bed and went to Jungyoon who was drying his hair, sticking closely and sitting at his feet. He glanced down at Jaeri and just left him be. While he dried his hair, Jaeri lightly leaned his head on his leg and just listened to the sound of the hairdryer.

A few minutes later, he finished drying his hair, and it became quiet.

“Hyung, I….”

He started speaking as if making a request that was hard to bring up but absolutely necessary, but Jungyoon left Jaeri at his feet as is and strode to the bed. At that action, Jaeri sat there on the floor with a puzzled expression, wondering if his hyung didn’t want to hear his words.

“Come here.”

At his short command, he gladly went to the side of the bed where he was sitting and knelt at his feet. He stroked Jaeri’s curly hair smoothly.

“I, about how to handle university… You haven’t decided yet.”

“What did I say this morning?”

“Let’s watch a bit… you said.”

“Yeah. So I watched today. And I started wondering if I should even send you to university.”

“…Yes…?”

“I’m thinking of not sending you to university.”

Jaeri couldn’t hide his startled eyes and lowered his head with his eyebrows drooping sadly.

He doesn’t say empty words. For a moment, he thought of his father and sister who would oppose his hyung’s will, but even if they opposed that will, in the end, he would persuade them and push it through.

Considering what he had done, it wasn’t incomprehensible that his hyung hesitated to send him to university. Still, the boy, who had prepared himself for retaking the exam once or even twice but had never once thought he wouldn’t go to university at all, felt dizzy at the suddenness.

“Do you want to become a university student?”

Jaeri silently buried his head in his leg and nodded. His two hands were also holding onto his leg.

“Why are you doing this. Like a puppy.”

“Hyung, really, I can’t, go to university?”

As he mumbled with his head buried, damp breath poured onto Jungyoon’s leg.

“I’m considering it. I’ll decide before you go to school on Monday, so keep that in mind.”

“…I got punished a lot today….”

He tried to forcibly hold back the tears that suddenly burst out.

“Stop acting spoiled. Now go and sleep.”

He stood the boy up.

“…Good night.”

The boy obeyed his words even as he shed tears. He wet the pillow with tears, and wetting it, fell asleep. The evening bipolar medication the boy took included a sleep-inducing component.