LS 155 (End)

Dohee suddenly turned to look at Moonhyuk without meaning to, then quickly shifted his gaze back forward. His head filled with question marks.

You’ve never been to the Han River? Not even once? Why?

Sure, it was a bit of a distance from their school, but it was still within easy reach by public transportation if you really wanted to go. Back in his college days, Dohee himself had been dragged along by his classmates a few times to drink by the river. Once you’re there, students from all sorts of universities roam around in their department jackets. It’s not uncommon for the Han River to be the top escape spot for university students who are obsessed with partying.

Maybe he just doesn’t like drinking? Or… maybe he didn’t have any friends?

“Why?”

It was a simple question born of genuine curiosity. Moonhyuk was a beat late to respond.

“…Huh?”

“Why have you never gone? No one ever asked you to? Not even your classmates?”

“Uhh…”

Moonhyuk hesitated before opening his mouth again. His voice was calm.

“I just, didn’t really have the time.”

“…”

“When I was in school, I studied at the central library until late at night. After lectures, I had assignments, and I was also busy prepping for tutoring. Even during the semester, before I enlisted, I worked part-time, so things were even busier. For exercise, I just stretched at home. I guess I never even thought of going to the Han River. Some classmates did ask me to go, but I turned them down every time because I really didn’t have time. So I never got to go.”

As he said this, Moonhyuk let out a goofy little laugh. It made Dohee feel unexpectedly sad. He turned the steering wheel toward the Han River without saying a word, only nodding quietly.

He didn’t know much about what kind of life Moonhyuk had led. He didn’t feel the need to pry into every detail either. All he’d gathered from what little he’d heard was that Moonhyuk had grown up constantly busy, always fighting to get by. Saying he didn’t feel sad about that would’ve been a lie.

Most people say this: in your twenties, you should have more fun, try more things, make more memories. Whether that’s good advice or not, Dohee wasn’t sure. He wasn’t in his thirties yet. But looking back, it felt like he’d had a pretty good time. After all, Baek Dohee had just lived however he wanted, freely and recklessly.

Dohee cleanly cut off the tangle of emotions.

“Nice.”

Moonhyuk looked back at him and asked,

“Huh? What is?”

“That I’m the first person to take you to the Han River.”

“Oh… yeah, I guess so.”

Moonhyuk let out another soft laugh.

Dohee decided not to attach any kind of sentiment to Moonhyuk’s past. That didn’t feel like the respectful thing to do.

“What about you?”

As they neared the river, Moonhyuk turned to Dohee with a question. Dohee thought for a moment, he was probably asking if this was his first time at the Han River. As if. Dohee let out a small chuckle.

“I’ve been.”

“…With who?”

The question came a beat too late. As they pulled into the parking lot, Dohee stole a glance at Moonhyuk. That sulky face made his palm itch. He even looked a little nervous. What a thing to witness in this lifetime. Was Kwon Moonhyuk actually jealous right now?

“Why? You jealous?”

He asked while parking. Moonhyuk’s lips puckered. Dohee almost burst out laughing, so he bit down on his lips.

“J-just a little… I mean, it’s not like you did anything wrong or anything! It’s just… this is my first time, but you’ve been here with someone else before, and that kind of…”

The way he stumbled over his explanation was unbelievably cute. After turning off the engine, Dohee turned to face Moonhyuk and tried to wave his hands a little to explain his own feelings too, but it clearly wasn’t working very well. In the end, he took Moonhyuk’s hand and pressed a short kiss to his palm.

“I’ve never been here with a boyfriend before.”

It really was the first time. After dropping out of college, the only times he’d come to the Han River were for a walk or because the twins dragged him out for a picnic. But never while dating someone.

“Really…?”

“Yeah. Really. You’re the first.”

Moonhyuk’s lips curled up, lifting into a little smile. He looked so happy he didn’t know what to do with himself. Up to now, Dohee had never seen the point of going all the way to the Han River for a date. Sure, he knew it was considered a sacred spot for couples, but he never cared about that kind of romantic stuff. Too much of a hassle.

But with Moonhyuk, it was different.

“Wow… the sunset over the Han River is really pretty.”

Because Moonhyuk was the kind of person who could find happiness in moments like this.

“Yeah.”

It was a halfhearted reply, but Moonhyuk didn’t seem to mind. The two of them leaned back in their seats, letting their bodies relax as they watched the long shadows of the sunset stretch across the river. The shimmering light on the water was actually pretty nice.

Still, watching Moonhyuk’s face was way more fun. Handsome people are entertaining even when they’re doing nothing at all.

“Want to come back for a picnic once the weather gets a little warmer? We can grab some sandwiches or something.”

Dohee, gazing at Moonhyuk’s face glowing red under the sunset, tossed out the question casually. Moonhyuk, who had been taking in the view of the Han River, turned his head. His eyes shimmered, unusually soft.

“Would that really be okay?”

“What would? You always ask if it’s okay with me.”

“Ah… I don’t really know much about picnics. Don’t you have to prepare a lot for that…?”

Moonhyuk asked cautiously. Dohee just raised his eyebrows. What’s the big deal about a picnic?

“I used to come sometimes with the twins. We’d just spread out a mat and drink beer. That’s basically a picnic. Since you don’t really drink, we can just pack a lunch instead. I’ll swipe a mat from the twins’ place. No need to buy a new one. Yeojin likes picnics, so they probably have a bunch of stuff.”

“Okay, okay.”

Seeing Moonhyuk nod so eagerly, Dohee met his eyes. His face was so full of excitement it was impossible to take it back now. With things going like this, Dohee figured he might as well head to the twins’ place soon and snatch up everything he could. And if they asked to come along, he’d just kick them out.

“Dohee…”

Dohee was lost in thought about the picnic when Moonhyuk suddenly spoke.

“Hmm?”

“Um, have you always lived alone?”

Where did that come from? Moonhyuk had rarely asked anything about Dohee before. Dohee blinked in surprise. Even after asking, Moonhyuk seemed to be watching him cautiously. And in that moment, Dohee realized something.

Moonhyuk hadn’t avoided asking about him because he wasn’t interested. He had too many things he wanted to ask, but didn’t know where to start. The realization sent a rush of warmth through Dohee.

Kwon Moonhyuk, who had always wondered about Baek Dohee but never asked.

Now, he was finally ready to start. Ready to get to know him.

“I started living alone for real when I came to college.”

“Ah…”

“My parents both worked full-time and were always super busy, so we never spent much time together. They’re still abroad. Both of them really love their work.”

“Right, right.”

Moonhyuk’s focused expression was beautiful. Staring at that face, Dohee continued, slowly and evenly.

“My family home and the twins’ place are pretty close. When I was little, my uncle looked after me a lot. I still see him now and then. The kimchi in the fridge? That’s from him. Through Yeohoo.”

“Mm.”

“Honestly, I don’t remember doing anything special with my parents, even as a kid. Never even went on trips like most people do. They were just too busy, so I guess I accepted it. The twins were around, anyway. Maybe I used to feel lonely back then? But now I’m just used to it. I don’t really feel anything. It’s not like I hate my mom or dad. I know they made it possible for me to live how I want, without worry.”

Moonhyuk gave a small, thoughtful nod. By now, the sun had almost completely set. Dohee turned to him.

“Since we’re here, want to grab a cola or something? No beer since I’m driving. Are you cold? If not, let’s walk a bit. The convenience store’s not far.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Not cold.”

Adjusting his scarf, Moonhyuk nodded. It was the scarf Dohee had given him when they first met, and he still wore that thick thing even in March. Dohee had offered to buy him a spring one, but Moonhyuk had said he didn’t need it. He got cold easily, and this one was enough. Still, Dohee figured they should go to a department store soon. Maybe get matching ones, just for fun.

When they stepped out of the car, Moonhyuk quickly came around to stand beside him. It felt like just yesterday that he always followed one step behind, but now he stood comfortably at Dohee’s side. Every time he saw Moonhyuk slowly changing like this, Dohee felt overwhelmed.

He wanted to hold Moonhyuk’s hand on the way to the convenience store, but there were too many people at the Han River. Dohee didn’t really mind, but he wasn’t sure if Moonhyuk would be uncomfortable. His hands felt itchy, stuffed deep into his pockets.

“Hey, Dohee.”

As they walked side by side, matching steps, Moonhyuk suddenly spoke.

“Hm?”

“I’m going to start saving money.”

“What? Out of nowhere?”

It was so abrupt, Dohee couldn’t help laughing. It was too ridiculous.

“Yeah. I’m gonna save up and go on a trip with you.”

“That’s even more random.”

“Well… now that we live together.”

“…?”

Moonhyuk’s pace slowed. Dohee also slowed his steps. He turned to look at Moonhyuk. The streetlamp light fell gently on his face as he fumbled for the right words.

“That means we’re family now… and I want to travel with you. A lot.”

− I don’t remember doing anything special with my parents… Never went on trips, even though everyone else did.

He must’ve been thinking about that. Dohee brushed back his hair and laughed. His chest felt unbearably warm, almost itchy. He wanted to scratch at his heart just to calm it down.

“God, you’re gonna kill me. What do I do with you, hyung?”

“Y-you don’t like it?”

“No. I fucking love it.”

“…Ah.”

Dohee took a bold step toward him. He reached out and smoothly slid his hand into Moonhyuk’s jacket pocket. Thanks to the roomy size, both their hands managed to fit. Screw it. Who cares about people staring? Trash, the lot of them. Dohee looked up at Moonhyuk. His face was flushed red, but he didn’t seem to dislike it. Before long, Moonhyuk’s hand in the pocket gently grasped Dohee’s. Knowing it had taken courage, Dohee held his hand back tightly.

They began walking again, slowly. Heat spread between their palms.

“I like being loved.”

This time, Dohee spoke first.

“Yeah.”

Moonhyuk nodded.

“Getting attention and being loved is exhausting, but I still like it. I know that sounds contradictory. But whatever, that’s just how I am.”

“…Mm.”

“But the way you love me is my favorite.”

“Huh?”

“The attention you give, the affection, it’s the biggest and the best. Telling me you’ll save up money so we can travel, saying we’re family now because we live together… I love those little things. I love that you’re that kind of person. I can’t do it like you do.”

“Ah…”

Dohee suddenly stopped. He looked at Moonhyuk. Their eyes met, one looking up, one looking down. Behind Moonhyuk’s shoulders, kids and dogs were running around, families were picnicking, couples were on dates, people were jogging or cycling, someone lay on a mat reading a book. The small pieces of everyone’s everyday life. And in the middle of it all stood Baek Dohee and Kwon Moonhyuk.

Going for walks while holding hands, stopping by a convenience store, buying cola by the river.

All of it would soon become just another small part of their ordinary life. A life that would last a very, very long time.

“I’m not as kind or thoughtful as you. I’ll probably boss you around, act on impulse, maybe even neglect your feelings. But just one thing, I’ll promise you that.”

“…What is it?”

“I’ll stay by your side. For a very long time. Without getting sick, always solid, always there.”

Moonhyuk, who had stood there stunned, finally nodded slowly.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Then let’s grab a cola and head back to the car. I thought about it, and there’s actually a bunch of good places to eat nearby. What are you in the mood for? I’ve got three in mind. Korean, Chinese, or Japanese…”

As Dohee rattled off the options, Moonhyuk smiled brightly. Baek Dohee didn’t even realize it. He had no idea just how warm, how attentive, and how caring he truly was. But Moonhyuk didn’t feel the need to correct him. Even now, the once-naive, foolish Kwon Moonhyuk understood this much:

Baek Dohee’s tenderness and consideration were reserved for him alone.

When Dohee asked which cola he wanted, Moonhyuk reached out. He gently brushed back Dohee’s soft platinum hair. His pretty forehead peeked out, and Moonhyuk thought it looked beautiful.

“I like all of them.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

Dohee burst into laughter. His fluffy, glimmering platinum hair shimmered under the light.

He sparkled, Kwon Moonhyuk’s first love.

— Love♥Supporter! The End.