LDR Ch 23

At that question, Leo kneaded the dog he had placed on his lap.

“Yes. It was fun, but it’s just.”

Leo smiled faintly and looked at his grandmother. Leo could not tell what his own smile meant, so he just spoke honestly.

“It felt strange, doing something I love.”

The answer that everyone except Leo had probably known from the start.

Pre-season Testing

Spain, Barcelona—Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

After spending time with their respective families, Harrison went to a training camp, and after that, he stayed right next to the headquarters with a few engineers, cramming the changing rules, design, and the car’s characteristics into his head. During that time, Leo handled office work, going back and forth between the ABW headquarters and his grandmother’s investment company.

They had not seen each other much in the meantime, but from what he heard from people at the headquarters, it seemed this season’s car was well-made. The wind tunnel test results were good, and above all, Anna, who was in charge of the car’s overall development, was very confident. Harrison was also looking forward to it, even though he pretended not to, afraid of being sad if his expectations were dashed. On top of that, Nathan, hearing that the car was good, came to the headquarters more often than usual.

So, the team’s atmosphere was better than ever, but on the other hand, it was full of a tension that could not be certain of what the actual results would be.

Today was the time to confirm that very uncertainty. Of the total 3 days of testing held at the Barcelona track in Spain where the pre-season tests were being conducted, Harrison was scheduled to go out on the first day, today, and on the last day, and he was now waiting in the car for his first run.

Barcelona in February was still cold, but no one recognized the chill. Even Anna, who rarely left the office, had come to the circuit, and everyone was waiting for Harrison’s first lap.

And finally, Harrison went out onto the track.

Passing through the pit lane, the car went onto the track and smoothly lapped it. With not only ABW but also all the other teams watching, Harrison easily pulled out the fastest lap time among the cars that had tested so far.

Knowing the immense effort that goes on both on and off the track, he did not want to use the expression ‘easily,’ but it was, by all accounts, a clean and comfortable lap. Everyone felt the atmosphere in the garage, which had been watching, loosen up at the clear result, but no one said it out loud. They had only completed about 20 laps. No matter how fast the car is, if it cannot finish the race, it means nothing.

— I’m coming in.

Just then, Harrison’s radio message came through. Instantly, the engineers checked each other’s expressions. It was not about understeer or oversteer, balance, or tires. To come in without any of that meant there was a problem with the car that made it undrivable. And it meant he did not want to let the other teams or the broadcast know about it.

— Roger.

After Manuel’s words, Harrison, who happened to be at the pit lane entrance, came in immediately. Harrison got out of the car amidst the mechanics who rushed out to bring the car in. Harrison immediately took off his helmet and removed his earphones, heading towards Manuel.

“Check the hydraulics. The steering wheel isn’t turning.”

A Formula 1 steering wheel is hydraulic, so if a related problem occurred, the steering wheel would not move properly. There was nothing the driver could do from inside the car.

“Anything else?”

At the question from Anna, who was looking at the data next to Manuel, Harrison answered without hesitation.

“The balance seems okay, but I can barely feel any downforce at the rear. There was a bit of oversteer too, but I’ll have to look at the data to see if it’s a corner issue or a car issue. The tire temperature seems to be rising well, but I’ll have to run more to know about the wear. The corner exit speed is good, but the rear is unstable on entry. I’ll have to see if this is also due to oversteer.”

Harrison rattled on without any highs or lows in his voice, then glanced over Anna, the engineers, and the mechanics.

“So, is the morning session over now? Without even being able to test the softs and hards.”

No one knew if they could fix it within the remaining time, and if this was it, Harrison would end up having completed only 22 laps. Just as Harrison said, without even being able to test the soft and hard tires.

“The lap time was good. You’re 1st so far.”

To Manuel’s words, Harrison replied flatly.

“It’s meaningless if I can’t finish the race. Besides, that’s not even a good thing.”

As he said, being 1st in testing did not get you much besides annoying scrutiny. Even more so now that a problem had occurred after just over 20 laps. Harrison finished his words and walked to the end of the garage, then sat down haphazardly and watched the mechanics swarming his car, moving busily.

“You could at least go into the waiting room.”

When Leo came and sat next to him and asked, Harrison turned his head towards Leo.

“I’m not mad.”

He knew that. He was, rather, calm.

“Do you think it’s a good thing you didn’t have high expectations?”

At Leo’s question, Harrison’s lips twitched as if he was contemplating an answer. But no words came out from between those lips, and they closed again. Leo watched from his side as the mechanics fixed the car and the engineers tried to extract something from the little data they had, occasionally coming over to ask Harrison something.

As expected, they could not fix the car by the time the morning session was over. Fortunately, thanks to the mechanics’ hard work, he was able to go out in the afternoon session and set a good record, but another problem occurred, and in the end, on the first day of testing, while other competing teams comfortably completed 100 laps, and one team even completed nearly 150 laps, Harrison’s day ended after completing only 50 laps.

And until the end of the first day, Harrison’s lap time was not broken.

On the second day, which was Nathan’s turn, there were no major problems that made the car completely undrivable like Harrison’s, but the car’s balance was off, and oversteer occurred frequently.

Sometimes in interviews, they would ask drivers which tendency they preferred, oversteer (the car turns more than intended) or understeer (the car turns less than intended), but whatever answer they gave, it was just a matter of whether understeer was better than oversteer, or oversteer was better than understeer, and fundamentally, everyone wanted a balanced car with neither oversteer nor understeer.

On top of that, since oversteer gave the driver less opportunity to control the car, most cars were developed with an understeer tendency. If the driver wanted, the rest could be adjusted with the car setup. But this car, it had such an oversteer tendency that it felt excessive even to Harrison, who used to set it up for oversteer, let alone Nathan, who had always preferred understeer-prone cars.

“It wasn’t like this in the wind tunnel.”

On the third day, today, as he spoke next to Harrison who was watching Nathan’s afternoon run after finishing his own morning run, Harrison nodded. Harrison had not been lucky today either. Although he had broken the best record, another problem had occurred, and he had to come back without using all his time.

“It wasn’t like this back then.”

No matter how much you run the wind tunnel and the simulator, predictions and reality are bound to be different.

— Nate, come in.

At the words from Nathan’s race engineer, he turned his gaze, and the engineers were talking with faces that clearly indicated a problem. Looking at the records, Nathan had not reached Harrison’s record, but he was 2nd in the current standings.

But no matter how fast, if you cannot finish the race, it is of no use. Unless you are going to only do the qualifying and withdraw from the main race.

“Is the goal for this season, perhaps, to finish the race?”

Leo studied Harrison’s expression. Before even comparing car performance, while the team he had rejected had completed over 100 laps, he himself had barely completed half of that. Harrison’s face was calm, but it was precisely that calmness that concerned him.

“Harry, want to see this?”

As he rummaged through his album to lighten the mood and showed it to him, Harrison peered at the screen, wondering what it was.

“What the f—, no….”

Harrison swallowed the curse word that had almost slipped out and quickly turned off the screen. Fortunately, the surroundings were noisy with the car being fixed, so no one paid any attention.

“That scared me.”

Harrison, who had been calm even when bringing in the car with the unresponsive steering wheel, clutched his heart as if he was genuinely surprised. Leo turned the screen back on. What was visible inside was a photoshoot Harrison had done recently. The clothing brand that had been with Harrison for quite a long time used him effectively every year, and this time, it was underwear.

Harrison, wearing only boxer briefs, was in a pose that could not be clearly defined as sitting or lying on a sunbed, slightly frowning as he stared straight at the camera. Squinting his eyes was, of course, for direction and by request, but with the sunlight pouring down in the background, it would have been hard to keep his eyes wide open even without a request.

He swiped to the side, and another photo from the same photoshoot appeared. Here, he was soaking wet, taking off his shirt. His bottoms were, again, boxer briefs.

“Is this out already?”

“No. But Heather sent it to me.”

The photoshoot was scheduled to be released next week, but the brand had sent the photos to Heather first, and Heather had in turn sent them to Leo. She probably sent them to Harrison too, but it was clear he had not checked.

“Is the problem that it’s a photoshoot, or that you’re naked?”

“Both.”

“You’ve even filmed soft porn, and you’re embarrassed by something like this?”

“I told you it’s not porn.”

At his pained voice, as if pleading for him to stop, Leo corrected the word.

“Not porn, soft porn.”

When there is a race in a hot country, a lot of effort is put into lowering the driver’s temperature between schedules. Putting the driver in a makeshift tub filled with ice water was a common method, and Harrison was no exception.

In fact, all drivers do it, so there was nothing special about it, but the reason Leo was bringing it up was the ice bath video filmed by the team he was with for his first season, when Harrison had just turned 19. The pretext was to show the fans his daily life outside the track, but the sight of a mere 19-year-old Harrison, stripped of everything but his swimsuit, frowning and shivering as he got into the ice water, seemed to have other purposes.

Compared to that, the current photoshoot was very wholesome. For one, unlike back then when he was just 19, he was now 27, and unlike the video that subtly evoked strange feelings, the photoshoot, following the grammar of capitalism, blatantly instigated the impulse that if you choose our brand, you can be like this man, or you can have this man.

“Leo, if you need it, I’ll film a new one for you, so stop talking about that.”

“I have that one too anyway.”

“You have it? How?”

Leo did not bother to answer. When the team Harrison was with for his first year withdrew, various materials and videos were also taken down, but edited clips of certain scenes were bound to remain somewhere. But after that, Leo had them all taken down for copyright reasons, so now only Leo had it. As his boyfriend, he had that much right.

As he was rummaging through his album wondering what else to show him, he suddenly felt Harrison’s gaze. When he raised his eyes again, Harrison was staring intently at Leo before opening his mouth.

“Leo. If you want to comfort me, just tell me to cheer up with that pretty face of yours.”

At those words, Leo glanced around the noisy garage and outside. There were no cameras, and no one was paying attention.

“Cheer up, Harry.”

As he turned his face towards Harrison and spoke with a full smile, his ears turned red. The sight, which Leo and his family sometimes called the ‘ears of truth,’ had not changed no matter how much time passed. As Leo pointed at his ears while still smiling, Harrison unnecessarily touched his ears and subtly gestured towards the inside of the garage.

“But will you get in trouble for this too?”

“I’m in an office job now. The good thing is that we share the responsibility.”

At Leo’s words, Harrison smiled. Seeing that smile, Leo somehow came to see everything as mundane. Although the completely unreliable car had emerged as a big problem, the driver who would actually be driving it did not seem to feel a sense of crisis.

Of course, the car still had to be fixed, though.

Bahrain Grand Prix

Bahrain International Circuit

A week before the first race, in the second and final test, the results were the complete opposite of everyone’s expectations. If in Barcelona it was fast but terribly unreliable, in the Bahrain test, it could run for a long time but was slow.

On top of that, Nathan was struggling in particular. Nathan liked strong rear tire grip, but this time, the grip was so extremely concentrated on the front tires. Harrison, who usually set up for more grip on the front tires anyway, adapted more easily than Nathan, but both drivers had to do well to raise the team’s ranking. Still, it was a relief that they had somehow managed to stabilize the car, so they would have to wait and see.

And today was finally the day of the season’s first qualifying session. Leo, who arrived at the circuit while the third practice session was in full swing, checked the screen after looking at the data next to Anna. Harrison was 5th and Nathan was 7th, which was not bad. It was just like last year.

“We put in more fuel.”

At Anna’s whispered voice, Leo also looked around. There were no cameras filming the ABW Racing pit wall or garage.

“Is that necessary?”

Leo wondered if his question had sounded like he was looking down on the car too much. Sometimes, to hide the car’s performance, they would deliberately load it with a lot of fuel during practice sessions to hide its true speed. But that kind of psychological warfare was a strategy used by the top teams, so it felt extremely unfamiliar.

“Just wait. I’m sure Harry will get pole.”

Whether that would become a self-fulfilling prophecy or remain a wish was yet to be seen, but Leo hoped it would become a prophecy.

“Don’t tell Nate.”

At Leo’s words that came out even so, Anna scoffed. Anna did not particularly like drivers who could not handle the engineer’s language well. In fact, for a driver, Nathan was the type who wanted to know a lot about the technical aspects. But since Anna had already held a technical camp with Harrison, meeting him every day during the winter, she did not seem to be satisfied with Nathan, who only talked to the engineers during the race period. It was collateral damage from Harrison being exceptional.

“Anna, if Nate thinks he’s being discriminated against and fights with Harry.”

Leo did not bother to continue. Anna had been in other categories before returning to F1 through ABW Racing, so she had never crossed paths with Harrison before, but she knew how accustomed Harrison was to the power dynamics within a team. Anna herself had just barely managed to change the vertical atmosphere of her technical team to a horizontal one, so she would not want the team to be divided according to the drivers.

“Even if you delay it, it’s ultimately inevitable. The one who loses between the two is bound to feel discriminated against.”

Just then, the car that had finished its practice run came into the garage. If they were 5th and 7th with a car that was deliberately made heavy, what was the car’s true performance. As Anna said, competition between teammates is unavoidable, and since ABW was a team that did not greatly discriminate between its drivers, there was no way that competition would only flow in a good way.

Anna’s words became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

— You struggled to adapt to the car during testing, so how does it feel to be in 2nd place?

Listening to Nathan’s voice as he spoke his thoughts with a bright smile in the interview that followed the qualifying session, Leo looked for Harrison, who was in the background, drinking water while talking to the 3rd place driver. Harrison was talking, then turned his gaze at the touch of a hand on his back. Then, he familiarly took the watch and put it on his wrist.

— Harry, congratulations on pole position. Will you be able to hold onto the position until the end tomorrow? What kind of strategy will you be setting up?

At that question, Harrison raised the microphone with the hand wearing the watch bearing Leo’s last name.

— I’ll be busy answering that question in today’s debriefing. We’ll have to see what happens tomorrow to know for sure, but I will be the first to cross the finish line. Thank you for the congratulations. And thank you to the fans who cheered for me and to our team members.

After that, the sight of him signing a small tire and taking a picture with a representative from the tire company was quite novel. He had won 3 times last season, but he had only had pole position once. So this scene was unfamiliar to Leo, but it was even more so for the garage watching it.

For a long time, ABW Racing had been a team that struggled just to maintain its position in the midfield, let alone win a championship. That period had lasted for over 10 years, so most of the team had experienced a Grand Prix victory thanks to Harrison. Pole position was even rarer than that.

On top of that, Harrison had won last year’s Belgian Grand Prix thanks to an accident that happened in front of him. In comparison, taking 1st place in qualifying and securing pole position, especially in sunny weather, required a perfect lap. Along with a competitive car that could support it.