LDR Ch 40

“But he trusts me and Anna and the other engineers and mechanics, but he can’t trust the car, so he told me to just answer promptly when he asks something. He said to just follow that well. And I really shouldn’t be saying this, but it’s not like I’m just ignoring Manny’s words. We have a signal between us. Manny knows the team’s orders aren’t great, but he can’t refuse them, so he tells me to ignore them instead. So it’s not like I’m being dangerous by ignoring even Manny’s words.”

His voice gradually trailed off. In fact, he had roughly guessed that there was some kind of signal between the two that others did not know about. Manuel would sometimes just let it go and sometimes resort to serious conversation and discipline when Harrison ignored his words and did his own thing. He had roughly guessed from the difference, but it was certainly not something to tell a team official.

Nevertheless, instead of mentioning those details, Leo asked about the matter itself.

“Is it because of me?”

At that, his eyes reflexively met Harrison’s.

“What I said back then, it wasn’t to make you do something,”

But Harrison answered before Leo could finish his words.

“Thank you. For telling me back then.”

Leo wanted to jump up and leave. As Harrison had said, Leo was tired. And fed up. He was tired of the rapidly rising and falling emotions and situations, and he was fed up with the slowly rising and slowly falling relationship.

“By myself, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how long I would have put it off.”

Nevertheless, instead of actually jumping up and leaving, Leo just quietly looked at the face that had turned its gaze back to its plate, looking a little embarrassed, and then he too finished his breakfast.

The ground he stepped on was solid. Because they had been together on sunny days and rainy days. Because they had tirelessly stepped and stayed on it. To the point where it was impossible to collapse.

His younger siblings arrived. Since he could not see them often, he always made a point to meet his siblings when he was in Switzerland, and since it was summer vacation, he could meet them all at once. Naturally, they were scheduled to stay at the cottage together for a while.

Never mind Nora, who was in the midst of puberty, but with Adam and Finn, who were now just 7 and 6 years old, there was no rest. Naturally, it was a daily routine of waking up tired and falling asleep exhausted, with no room for 고민 about their relationship.

<Sigh, you crybaby.>

At Nora’s words, who had just come in from the garden, Leo and Harrison both desperately shook their heads. Adam, who was dozing off between Leo and Harrison, had just thrown a tantrum for two hours, crying and screaming because he had to tear the snack bag in the middle but had torn it on the side, ripping the character’s face, and was now just dozing off from exhaustion.

Then Finn, who had been out in the garden with Nora, ran in with something full in his arms.

<This!>

Leo reflexively caught it and naturally passed it to Harrison. He was too tired right now to care about anything. Then Harrison checked inside the envelope and said listlessly.

<It’s here.>

<What is it?>

At Nora’s question, Harrison answered, seating Finn on his lap.

<Photos.>

<Oh, did that arrive?>

This time, Leo asked, and Harrison nodded.

<Yes.>

Photography was originally his grandfather’s hobby, but a few years ago, when Harrison was living at this cottage, he had inherited the camera from his grandfather and started taking pictures himself. Harrison, saying he wanted to see the pictures he had taken so far with his family for the first time, had gone into the darkroom in the cottage a few days ago, but then said it would take a long time to do it alone and just entrusted it to a professional. That was a few days ago, but it’s already here.

<But is there that much?>

Even though Harrison had been taking pictures for a few years, he had not seen Harrison with a camera since leaving the cottage. So he had thought he had just now developed the pictures he had taken a few years ago at this cottage, but the envelope was quite thick for that.

<Yeah, it looks thick just by looking at it.>

When Nora also joined them on the sofa, Harrison let Finn’s curious hands be and together they took out a stack of photos from inside.

<It’s three years, no, is it four years now? Since I developed all of them.>

<You should have done it sooner.>

At Nora’s indifferent voice, Leo reflexively made an excuse for him.

<Oppa wanted to see them together with us, that’s why.>

But Nora did not care and spread the photos on the table in front of the sofa.

<Wow, I was so cute back then.>

At those words, Leo also raised his body, which had been blankly leaning against the sofa, a little and looked at the photos. All of Leo’s family members had a history of being much smaller than their peers until their early teens, and then suddenly growing in their mid-teens. Because of that, Nora in the picture looked even younger than now, and probably much smaller than her age of about 13.

<You’re still cute.>

At Harrison’s answer, which had clearly come out reflexively without any thought, Nora held out her fist. As Harrison naturally bumped his fist against hers briefly, Finn’s voice was suddenly heard in between.

<Who’s this baby?>

<That’s you.>

Harrison said with a short kiss on Finn’s hair, but for some reason, there was no reply for a moment from Finn, who was holding the picture tightly.

<No.>

And at the sight of him frowning, Harrison and Leo reflexively exchanged glances.

<It’s you.>

<No. I’m not a baby.>

<No, but this is from a few years ago, so you’re not a baby now, but you were a baby then.>

<No.>

Leo signaled to Nora to please not say anymore, and looked at Finn. The leg of the boy sitting on Harrison’s lap was dangling nervously, and his eyes were welling up. Oh, no. He had already dealt with Adam for two hours. He has no energy left. But before he could make an attempt to somehow soothe Finn, Nora suddenly put something in Finn’s mouth.

<Eat.>

At the quick and indifferent words, Finn quickly started munching. Leo and Harrison simultaneously looked at Finn. What Nora had taken out was chocolate, and Finn was soon focused on eating. Adam had never been like this. He felt a sense of disappointment that the kids were growing up differently every day, yet he knew nothing.

It was natural since they were geographically separated, but Finn, who was appeased by a single piece of chocolate, and Adam, who now just leans on Harrison, would, just like their older siblings, grow up quickly and create secrets they would not tell their hyung. He suddenly felt sad.

And it seemed to be the same for Harrison, as he was looking at Finn just like Leo.

<But I kind of think, Harry. Did you really have to see this with us?>

At Nora’s voice, which came out regardless of whether her oppas were getting sentimental or not, Harrison and Leo finally turned their heads. Nora had already taken the entire envelope and was flipping through the pictures.

<They’re all pictures of Leo. We’re just in them sometimes.>

At those words, Leo finally looked at the photos. The first feeling he felt was, how? It was more of a question than a feeling. Of course, there were old pictures, but there were also many that looked recent. But Leo had never seen Harrison with a camera anywhere other than the cottage. So how did he take these? On top of that, as Nora had said, the subject of the photos was almost always Leo. I don’t remember being photographed?

<But why are there no pictures of Harry’s family, or Victoria’s kids?>

And at Nora’s following question, Leo and Harrison exchanged glances. She doesn’t remember, I guess. Yeah. Nora’s voice cut in between their silent conversation again.

<Why?>

Leo finally looked at Nora. Nora was about the same age as Caleb and Elizabeth. But unlike her siblings in England, she was in Switzerland, so she could not meet Leo or Harrison often. But since she had no memories of living with Leo and Harrison in the first place, she did not seem to have any particular sense of sadness, but it seemed the sorrow had finally erupted after spending time together at the cottage a few years ago.

When their grandfather passed away and Harrison and Leo returned to England, Nora had clung to them, crying and screaming, asking why they were taking her oppas again when they had had them until now. Naturally, both Harrison and Leo were filled with guilt, but they could not really live in Switzerland.

In fact, since quite a few drivers live in Switzerland, Harrison could have lived there, but it was impossible for Leo because his job was in England. And there was no way Harrison would move alone when Leo was living in England.

So the two had made all sorts of promises to soothe Nora, and among promises like coming to see her often, calling her every day, and definitely coming to see her on her birthday, there was also the camera. The demand was that since the camera was a gift from their grandfather and they had first taken pictures at their cottage, they had to only take pictures of them from now on.

<Why, what is it?>

At the face that had already forgotten everything in just a few years, Leo just looked at Harrison and shook his head slightly. As he smiled, Harrison smiled back. At that, Nora somehow shuddered.

<Ah, forget it.>

He wondered why she was acting like that when they had not done anything, but he did feel a little embarrassed. As he rummaged through the envelope again, he saw a stack of photos of Harrison and Leo together.

<Grandpa must have taken these.>

Since the only two people who took pictures were his grandfather and Harrison, if Harrison was in the picture, it was natural that his grandfather had taken it. Looking at that picture, he felt strange. He missed him, was glad to see him, was sad, and was curious.

It seemed everyone felt the same way, as they spent a long time spreading out the photos and talking, and before they knew it, it was late. Adam, who had cried himself to sleep, had been asleep for a long time, and Finn had also fallen asleep in Harrison’s arms at some point.

<Don’t you two look at them beforehand. You have to look at them with me tomorrow.>

<Okay.>

At Nora’s words, which came out even as she was about to go back to her room to sleep, Harrison and Leo answered, and Nora picked up one of the stacked photos.

<Can I take this? I’m going to give it to Mom.>

The photo Nora had chosen showed a younger Nora, Finn, and Adam sitting together in the garden. Originally, all the photos were kept in the photo room on one side of the cottage, but it was her own picture, so of course it was okay for her to take it.

<Anything else?>

At the question from Harrison, who had taken that picture, Nora shook her head.

<Just this one.>

Leo watched Nora go up to her room, and then looked alternately at Adam between him and Harrison, and Finn in Harrison’s arms.

“Who are you going to wash.”

At the everyday question, Harrison answered with a light kiss on Finn’s hair.

“I’ll wash Finn.”

“Are you sure?”

Finn was usually gentle, but he would get cranky when he woke up from sleep. On the other hand, Adam, although he would get annoyed over small things usually, would listen obediently when he was sleepy. Nevertheless, Harrison always took on the role of waking up and soothing Finn. And not just that, he usually volunteered for the roles that required a lot of care.

“Instead, after you put the kids to bed, come back here and look at the pictures with me.”

At those words, Leo gently stroked Adam’s cheek with his finger and asked.

“What are you going to do about Nora?”

“I’ll apologize.”

At the simple answer, Leo quietly looked at Harrison. And then at the table piled high with photos. And then he nodded.

After washing and putting Adam to bed and coming back down to the living room, Harrison was still not there. Finn might be throwing a tantrum. As he was organizing the photos by himself, Harrison soon came down and sat next to Leo.

Leo continued to scan the photos he was looking at and said.

“But why did you take them secretly? I didn’t even know you were still taking pictures.”

He was not unaware that Harrison occasionally took pictures, but he had thought he was taking pictures of his siblings. But looking at the pictures, as Nora had said, there were also many recent pictures of Leo. Even though the person being photographed had no idea. In fact, in the pictures, Leo was always looking somewhere else.

“I wonder.”

Harrison, who had answered naturally, scanned the photos Leo was looking at. He wondered what kind of answer that was, coming from the person who had taken the pictures. As he was looking at the other photos, Harrison suddenly said.

“A habit from peeking, I guess.”

At the voice that had come out as if even he himself had not been conscious of it, Leo reflexively shuddered, and their eyes met. At the same time, without anyone saying who first, they laughed. The atmosphere naturally and gently relaxed.

“Why did you take something like this?”

In the picture, Leo was lying on the bed with his hair all messy, looking at his phone. It was nothing special, so he asked why he had bothered to take a picture, and Harrison looked at the picture and answered as if he could not understand Leo’s words at all.

“He’s obviously cute.”

Leo did not even react and flipped through the photos.

“This one really looks like a stalker.”

In the picture he was holding now, Leo was walking down a street, and the angle was from above. This time, Harrison could not seem to refute it and just looked at the picture together.

“The pictures are all, somewhere between a stalker and a paparazzo.”

The angle was definitely that of a paparazzo. But unlike a paparazzo who just takes pictures for money, it seemed like there was quite a bit of emotion in the pictures, so he also wondered if it was more on the stalker side.

“How did you take all of these secretly?”

If the question from a moment ago was literally a question of curiosity, this time it was one of admiration. Then Harrison, who seemed to realize that he was also a bit creepy, answered ambiguously.

“I think you can be a little moved, though.”

“I have to have a memory of it to be moved.”

And yet, Leo stared at one photo.

“Hey, what’s this.”

In the picture, his own back was captured, wearing only pajama pants as if he had just come out of the shower, with a towel on his head, and holding a dog.

“Wow, this one is really.”

At the criticism that came out like admiration, Harrison fell silent.

“This is my grandfather’s camera, my grandfather gave me a camera to take pictures of his grandson naked…”

Harrison, who had been quietly keeping his mouth shut, covered Leo’s mouth with his hand.

“He would have understood. Probably.”

It was often the other way around, so it was fun to be in the teasing position for a change, but seeing Harrison with his ears red, he did look a little pitiful. Though it was not really something to be pitiful about.

As they flipped through the photos one by one again, stories of the past naturally came up. What they did at this time, how it was here, what they talked about, what happened, and as they took out those memories, another stack of photos, developed from a roll that his grandfather had taken, came out.

The stack they had all looked at first was mostly family photos, but this stack had a lot of photos of just Harrison and Leo together.

“Do you remember when Grandpa asked me why I was dating a guy with no job?”

At the words that just came out, Harrison next to him naturally nodded. Leo’s parents had a common point in that they did not particularly like racing. So when Leo first started dating Harrison, he had thought that maybe his dad, Johann, would oppose it. His mom, Victoria, loved Harrison so much and was like family, so she would not oppose it. But in fact, when they revealed their relationship, Johann had congratulated them without any hesitation. On the other hand, his grandfather had opposed it.

“Grandpa really liked you before. But he said it was okay to be friends but not to date, so you were surprised. And even after that, he continued to support you as a driver.”

His grandfather had loved racing quite a bit since he was young, and he was the one who had acknowledged Harrison’s talent and gotten him a sponsor, and had always been interested in and proud of Harrison’s career. And it was not that he had only liked Harrison as a driver, he had always cherished him as Leo’s friend even before that.

So the firm opposition that came back when they said they were dating was unexpected. Of course, he was eventually acknowledged, but even so, the subtle disapproval had not disappeared. And yet, his grandfather had always supported Harrison as a driver, and supported Harrison himself. He just would have preferred that he was not his grandson’s lover.

“How could Grandpa draw the line so well?”

He could not understand how his grandfather could set such boundaries. Would Leo understand when he got older? But instead of a reply, he felt a gaze and turned his head, and Harrison was looking at him.

“Why?”

Even at Leo’s question, Harrison answered as if in admiration.

“You’re just like Nora when you’re like that.”

At those words, Leo pushed Harrison’s shoulder as if to hit him and said.

“I’m not falling for it like Nora. What is it.”

Then Harrison pretended to avoid his gaze, but eventually spoke slowly.

“Your grandfather, even when he came to the circuit, when you weren’t there, he would tell me to ask you out on a date and take you somewhere nice right after the race, regardless of whether I won or lost. He said he wouldn’t let it slide if I got distracted at a party or anywhere else.”

At the news he was hearing for the first time, Leo furrowed his brow. He knew his grandfather had come to watch a few races. Since Leo had been there with him. But he had not expected such a story at all.

“And he told me to be sure to bring you home by 12 o’clock, no matter what.”

And at the words that followed, Leo answered without realizing it.

“I didn’t.”

I was never so well-behaved as to go home at 12 o’clock.

“I brought you to your room by 12 o’clock. It’s just that I went in with you.”