LDR Ch 46

Leo couldn’t even hear the rest of his words and ended up pulling Harrison in for a kiss. Only then did time begin to flow again.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

To Harrison’s voice, which came from between their lips, Leo nodded and replied.

“Yeah.”

As he pressed his lips against Harrison’s again, Leo also gently tapped Harrison’s cheek.

“Put it on me.”

When he closed his eyes and their lips met once more, he soon felt a warm heat touch his hand. And the sensation of a slightly cool piece of metal, which quickly turned lukewarm, wrapping around his left ring finger.

As he talked about breaking up with Harrison, Leo realized how much he didn’t want it. How much he wanted to do together all the things he said he would do if they broke up. How precious the faded memories still were, and how they had been for some time. How soft the love he thought had worn rough actually was. How peaceful the habits he thought he’d forgotten were.

“It’s a family ring, right?”

When he asked as their lips finally parted, Harrison nodded his head. His sparkling eyes were vivid. Leo then looked down at the ring that had been placed on his hand. At that, he felt Harrison’s gaze follow his.

Leo pointlessly stretched his arm out straight and looked at the ring, then placed his hand demurely back on his lap, then placed it on the table, and once he even placed it on top of Harrison’s head, before just bringing it in front of his eyes.

“Does it suit me?”

The Turner family ring, passed down from Harrison’s great-grandmother to his grandmother, and then to Heather, was said to have a continuous line of diamonds, but the other gemstone would be changed according to the bride. William had combined it with citrine to match Heather’s birthstone, and Harrison must have put in a blue stone to match Leo’s eye color.

However, since their ancestors probably hadn’t thought it would become a ring for a groom, it looked somewhat subtly out of place on Leo’s hand. Perhaps it was due to the combination of the thin band and the large stone. The design was a bit unique, so even Heather only wore it on special occasions, and Leo thought it might be difficult for him to wear it even then.

“They say you can’t do any work with your hands if you wear that.”

Even though the response was out of context with his question about whether it suited him, Leo nodded. That seemed likely.

“Then you’ll have to do everything.”

“I’d love that.”

At the naturally spoken words, Leo tore his gaze away from his ring and looked at Harrison.

“Did you bring your car?”

“No. I took a taxi.”

“Good.”

Leo pulled Harrison up at the same time. Harrison, who understood the signal, took a few steps following Leo before grabbing Leo’s waist and pulling him close. After a short kiss that followed, Harrison smiled.

“Let’s go quickly.”

The sex was good, as always, but something was different. Or maybe he thought it was different because it was the same. Leo gently rubbed his forehead against the shoulder of Harrison, who was lying next to him, before lifting his head and smiling. Then, as he raised his hand to look at the ring again, Harrison kissed Leo’s fingers.

“But why were you so nervous?”

At the time, he himself had been too out of it to think, but now, every single one of those moments was etched in his memory. So that he could take them out and think about them whenever he wanted.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Harrison must have felt how much Leo wanted to maintain this relationship. If that weren’t the case, Leo wouldn’t have waited so anxiously for Harrison’s call, chosen his words to match Harrison’s mood for the first time in his life, brought up stories only the two of them knew as if they had gone back to a long time ago, and smiled while looking into his eyes.

“It’s not obvious. I also thought the mood has been good lately, so it might be worth bringing it up today, but when the actual day came, you were in a terrible mood.”

At those words, Leo pointlessly stretched his arm out straight and looked at the ring.

“You suddenly started getting sparse with your texts, said you didn’t want me to pick you up, and got annoyed.”

That was because he thought he was going to hear a different kind of confession today, so he didn’t want to meet. But since it was true he had acted immaturely, Leo deliberately changed the subject.

“Then why did you do it today?”

If Leo really seemed to be in a bad mood, it would have been better to pick a day when he was feeling good.

“Actually, when did you start thinking about it?”

Leo and Harrison had long ago agreed that an institution like marriage was unnecessary between them. Leo’s values were clear, and Harrison had agreed. But the very fact that he had thought about proposing was surprising.

“The first time I thought about it was when I was at the villa with my grandfather,”

“What?”

That meant it had been several years already. Back then was a time when the notion of marriage truly couldn’t even enter the space between them. When he asked without even hearing the rest of the sentence, Harrison replied calmly, in a manner so different from Leo’s.

“Back then, my grandfather asked me when I was going to marry you. I just said if you want to, I will, and if you don’t, I won’t. But you said you just don’t like the institution of marriage itself, so you have no thoughts of getting married. So he asked if I, at least, wanted to, and if I would do it if Leo changed his mind, so I said then I would.”

For someone mentioning marriage, he sounded so bland.

“He told me to just prepare for the wedding since he would convince you himself, and that he would give me the photos for decoration.”

Every single word was confusing, but those words suddenly made him remember something.

“Is that why you took so many pictures?”

When he mentioned the photos his grandfather had taken of the two of them, as if he had never opposed their relationship, Harrison nodded.

“Yeah. And then, about two months after he said he’d convince you, he told me it wouldn’t work and to just date.”

At his very casual attitude, Leo suddenly furrowed his brow.

“He never tried to convince me.”

He really had no memory of that. That’s why all of this was so shocking. But Harrison himself looked at Leo naturally, with no change in his demeanor.

“Exactly. He said you were so firm about it that he didn’t think it would work even if he tried.”

Leo carefully searched his memory. But even in the past, his grandfather would often test the waters by asking Leo when he was going to get married. He didn’t have Harrison specifically in mind, but just said he wanted to see his grandson get married. In fact, after he started dating Harrison, that talk had stopped completely. No, did he ask after that too? Leo couldn’t be sure, as he had consistently shown his distaste every time.

“That’s probably why he passed the villa down to you and me together, but I gave up on that right away because I thought it was on the condition of marriage.”

And at Harrison’s following words, Leo replied haltingly.

“No, that’s, probably not it. It was just because you and I lived with Grandfather until the end.”

Was that not it? If he really went so far as to suggest marriage, it seemed possible he gave it to them so they could live together. But still, it’s not like him to give it away while considering such things.

“But you too, you also said you had no thoughts of getting married.”

To Leo’s words, which still held confusion, Harrison replied nonchalantly.

“You don’t have any thoughts of it.”

“So you don’t either?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Although it had turned out like this now, Leo had consistently been negative about the institution of marriage even before he liked Harrison. It wasn’t a matter of wanting or not wanting to marry a specific person, but rather that he didn’t like the institution itself. He thought Harrison felt the same way?

“Originally, I didn’t have any thoughts about whether I would get married or not, and I vaguely thought if I did get married, it would be to you, but then you said you wouldn’t. On top of that, after hearing what you said, I also thought there was no reason for us to rely on an institution or paperwork.”

That was exactly what they had discussed a long time ago. So hearing those words sent him deeper and deeper into a labyrinth.

“Then why did you do it?”

“The time I really decided I had to propose was during the Hungarian Grand Prix, because even though we think of ourselves as family, if something actually happens, we don’t get contacted directly. Our families get contacted first, and then we hear about it from them. When something happens to you, I wanted to be the first person to be informed.”

Before Leo could feel any sort of pity at those words, Harrison continued speaking naturally.

“So conform to the establishment and enter the system for me.”

Harrison had a special talent for making a proposal sound as bleak as possible.

“Instead, I’ll sign the prenuptial agreement without saying a word.”

At the words that followed, Leo sat up halfway and stared intently at Harrison.

“Why do you keep talking about that? I said we’re not writing one.”

“That’s why I thought I should propose then, but if I brought it up right at that moment, I thought you wouldn’t be able to trust me. Not that you can trust me completely now, but I thought you should at least have time to think. And I felt like that was the only way I could formally propose, too.”

But without answering Leo’s question and just saying what he wanted to say, Leo gently pinched his nose and let go.

“Then why did you pick a specific day? Of all times, after a half-ruined Grand Prix.”

“I didn’t know then.”

“So your plan was to propose after coming back with a win?”

“I just, didn’t think about that. I was planning on telling you regardless of what happened.”

Then, Harrison looked back at Leo and continued, his voice steady, but a little more firm rather than comfortable like a moment ago.

“Until now, I may have carried the results of the race with me afterwards a little—or maybe more than a little.”

So Leo just gently swept back Harrison’s messy hair with his forehead.

“But whether I win, or even if I retire from the race completely, the moment I return to you is always consistently good. I wanted to let you know that. And I didn’t want you to feel like I was just saying that.”

There are things he began to take for granted at some point. Words like, ‘Work and you are separate to me,’ or, ‘You are the most important.’ Things he thought were obvious, things he took for granted. And things he didn’t answer for that reason.

So Leo was about to nod, but then he spoke.

“I know.”

“So, as proof of that, the prenup—”

But at the voice that came out before he could even set the mood, Leo mercilessly cut Harrison off.

“Are you trying to be really annoying on a good day?”

He couldn’t understand why he kept mentioning a prenuptial agreement since earlier. Who on earth was making him write one? Of course, it was a common thing around Leo. But Harrison and Leo’s situation was different.

“Leo.”

Despite that, Harrison’s voice followed, as if troubled, as if placating Leo.

“Leo, we have to write a prenup.”

“I told you I don’t want to.”

“Then we can’t get married.”

“What? Why?”

At his reflexive question, Harrison rubbed his own eyebrow, where there was nothing.

“Because that was the condition.”

“Who said that?”

“Victoria and Johan.”

“You told my mom and dad too?”

Leo couldn’t tell if he was more shocked that his parents had demanded a prenup from Harrison, or that Harrison had told his parents about his proposal plans before him.

“I’m the one involved, no, wait, how many people knew before me?”

But when he first spat out the question that the person in question could answer, Harrison thought deeply. It required that much thought? Harrison’s own family, he understood. Since it was Heather’s ring, of course Heather would know, since it was a family ring, he’d have to ask Jude’s opinion, and if Heather didn’t have the ring, William would inevitably find out. So he understood that much, of course, but why did his parents also know before him?

“First, I told my mom and Jude, Jude told Sam, and my mom told my dad.”

“Okay, I can understand up to there.”

Samantha was Jude’s partner, so it was understandable.

“At the party, Mom didn’t wear the ring, so Victoria asked, and so, well…”

His words trailed off, but Leo knew what he meant.

“Mom said the ring had been passed on to the next in line, which means it’s either Jude or me. She wasn’t sure who since both Sam and you said you weren’t getting married, but if it had been Jude, she would have said it went to Jude right away, so she figured it must be me.”

Right, Leo had also momentarily overlooked how close Victoria and Heather were.

“Victoria told Johan and your grandmother,”

“Grandmother?”

But when he asked again at another unexpected appearance, Harrison infuriatingly nodded his head.

“She told Scott too, and Johan told Erin…”

Now that the father of his British siblings and the mother of his Swiss siblings were mentioned, Leo covered Harrison’s mouth with his hand.

“So, to sum it up, among the people who will come to our wedding, I was the last to find out about the marriage itself.”

When he removed his hand from the blankly staring eyes, Harrison replied blankly.

“The kids don’t know.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Replying while resisting the urge to press down on that mouth again, Leo stared quietly at Harrison before quickly adding.

“Still, I’m not writing a prenup. Just so you know.”

“I told you we can’t get married then.”

“Why not? I’m going to. And I’m not writing an agreement.”

After speaking quickly and firmly, Leo stared intently at Harrison. The gaze looking up at him from a lying position was also obedient.

“You should have told me first. Then the talk of an agreement wouldn’t have even come up.”

At that, Harrison opened his arms. While still unable to hide his bewilderment, Leo eventually went into his embrace, and Harrison kissed him all over his face, as if tickling him. When the hair that followed tickled him and he finally laughed, Harrison smiled back.

“Leo, I have something to say now, so listen carefully this time.”

At the voice that came out as he gently rubbed their noses together, Leo nodded and looked at Harrison obediently. When he even placed his hands quietly on his chest, Harrison lowered his head, gently kissed his fingers, the ring upon them, and then looked back at Leo.

“Leo, it’s already been over 20 years since we met. The first time I saw you, this yellow and white kid was following me around like a little chick. It took me quite a long time to realize that I had fallen in love at first sight with that kid who smelled like coconut. From that first moment until now, whenever you smile, it always feels like my breath stops.”

Then, a mischievous smile briefly formed on his face.

“Of course, the innocence is a bit different between the moment I saw you at the carting track that smelled of engine sounds and rubber, and right now when you’re completely naked.”

When Leo burst out laughing at those words, Harrison took Leo’s hands in his.

“From then until now, and in the future, you always make me better. So I want to be that kind of person for you too.”

The brown eyes he faced let out a soft and affectionate energy without hiding it. That gaze felt familiar, as if from a lifetime, and yet always different and new; it made him want to uncover its meaning, and yet also just feel it as it was.

“As your best friend, as your brother, and as your lover. I want to be the person who always loves you and stands by your side.”

And a gentle smile slowly filled his face.

“Leo Herbert Rosenthal Bettenberg—Kunz. Will you marry me?”

At the confession that came out once more, this time uninterrupted, Leo nodded and smiled.

“Yeah.”

Hugging Harrison tightly, Leo kissed his cheek.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve said my full name.”

That’s why it felt even more unfamiliar, strange, ticklish, and even embarrassing. Leo had called Harrison by his full name a few times when he was very angry with him, but Leo himself had truly never heard it until now.

“You’re supposed to use the full name when you propose.”

Harrison had, at some point, gently wrapped his hand around the nape of Leo’s neck, and now he came up over his body and leaned down.

“I love you.”

His lips gently brushed against Leo’s cheek.

“I love you more than the first moment I saw you.”

As his lips tickled his eyelids, Leo closed his eyes for a moment, then met his gaze again and said as well.

“I love you.”

There were times when he thought he had been living while forgetting a lot of things. The memories they shared, which he thought had faded, had in fact never grown old. It was just that new memories had piled up, and he hadn’t had the courage to take them out.

“I didn’t know I could hate someone this much.”

Nevertheless, those memories, old and new, all mixed together and smoothly pressed down the frayed edges of a photograph. As if to say that now, they just needed to keep it safe in a photo album and open it up to look at it together whenever they needed, whenever they wanted, sometimes for no reason at all.

Admitting that he didn’t want to discard those traces of the past, rather than not being able to, was this easy.

“I love you that much.”

If he could choose a few photos from that album to decorate frames with, Leo wanted to place this moment in the most visible spot. A place where it would always be in sight.

“Then you can hate me sometimes.”

And at Harrison’s words that followed, Leo wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close.

“It’s inevitable anyway, when I’m with you.”

Just as loving him that much was also inevitable.