LDR Ch 48

At Leo’s sudden question, Harrison, who had been holding a camcorder and examining its various settings, looked up.

“Me?”

Leo simultaneously pressed the shutter button. And he pointlessly checked the camera. It would be strange if there were only pictures of Leo decorating the wedding, so Leo had been taking pictures of Harrison too, but film cameras were a very unfamiliar territory. He didn’t even know how they turned out.

And so, Leo and Harrison were just, well, living like this. At the family gathering, the advice from both sets of parents was clear. Discuss the wedding as quickly and in as much detail as possible. Although there was at least a year until the wedding, it would be difficult to discuss during the racing season, so they advised them to talk a lot and decide on things whenever they could.

So he had asked, but Harrison’s face clearly showed that he hadn’t really thought about anything. His inner thoughts, which wondered what more there was to do since they had already decided to only invite a small number of people to the wedding, were obvious.

“You’re not going to invite Lorenzo?”

No matter how small the wedding was, it was natural to invite close friends. And yet, at the sight of him just staring blankly, Leo put down the camera and continued in a tone of disbelief.

“You’re the only driver he’s inviting to his wedding. But you’re not going to invite him?”

Lorenzo’s wedding was also slowly being prepared, and out of the entire motor racing industry, he had only invited Leo and Harry. But he wasn’t going to invite Lorenzo to his own wedding?

“And if Lorenzo’s not there, you’ll only have one groomsman.”

When he mentioned the most important part, Harrison replied as if he had only just thought of it.

“Ah, is Jude my best man?”

“I would think so, right?”

Since Jude was Harrison’s older brother, of course he would be the best man. In the first place, if you were to name Harrison’s closest friend, Leo would be the first to come up, and Jude would be the second, but since Leo couldn’t do it, Jude was the only one left.

“Then who’s your best man? I can’t be it.”

And at Harrison’s question that followed, Leo looked at Harrison with an ambiguous gaze, not knowing whether to laugh or what. Just as Leo couldn’t be Harrison’s best man, it was natural that Harrison couldn’t be Leo’s best man either. But Harrison still had the habit of placing himself in all of Leo’s important positions.

“Maybe Caleb will do it?”

But after saying it, it felt ambiguous. Caleb had only just turned 18. Harrison must have felt the same way, as he looked at Leo ambiguously.

“But isn’t he too young to be a best man? A page boy would suit him better.”

At those words, laughter burst out from both of them at the same time. Then, Harrison picked up the camcorder and pointed the lens at Leo.

“You can’t show this to anyone else.”

When he spoke while looking at the lens, Harrison smiled and replied.

“I was planning on that from the beginning.”

Harrison continued.

“Then you take Lorenzo. If Caleb is going to be the best man, Lorenzo will have to do the actual work.”

At those words, Leo furrowed his brow slightly.

“If I take Lorenzo, you’ll have no one.”

Harrison’s third closest friend was Lorenzo. After the fourth, they were all just work colleagues of similar closeness, or acquaintances he knew vaguely but didn’t contact separately.

“That’s true, but to be honest, Lorenzo became my friend because he’s your and Jude’s friend, so?”

That was true, but Harrison needed to realize he was not in a position to be picky right now.

“Harry, you need to have at least three groomsmen. Even if you take Lorenzo, you’ll still be in a tough spot without one more.”

At that, Harrison seemed to be thinking deeply about the remaining spot. Deeply. Still, deeply.

“Harry, think. You’re not that bad off.”

At Leo’s eventual nagging, which was also a denial of reality, Harrison asked ambiguously.

“What about Diego?”

Asking Leo about his own social circle was a lost cause from the start, but Leo first replied just as ambiguously.

“Diego might be okay?”

But come to think of it, Diego was also currently working in the motor racing industry, albeit in a different specific category. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Diego, but it was better to be careful.

“Or you take Caleb. He’s not reliable enough to be a best man, but he can be a groomsman.”

When Leo finally offered his own brother as a next-best option, Harrison immediately asked.

“Then is your best man Brad?”

At his somewhat displeased face, Leo ended up squeezing that face and playfully kissing him. In fact, Leo had three friends he had been close to since college, so he could just ask them to be his best man and groomsmen. He hadn’t told them who he was dating, but he had come out as bi a long time ago.

But Harrison was particularly jealous of those friends, and even more so after learning that Leo had been the best man at the wedding of one of them, Bradley, a few years ago. Saying that Bradley got to have Leo as his best man, while he wouldn’t.

“I told you, you’re my best friend.”

Replying like he was about twenty years younger, Leo snatched the camcorder from Harrison’s hand. And, pointing it at Harrison, he asked.

“So, Mr. Harrison Turner, are you prepared to dance at your wedding?”

This was something everyone had teased him about at the family gathering. Harrison was used to being in front of cameras and being interviewed, but he was always awkward and embarrassed when he received the focused attention of a crowd in other situations. He especially loathed things like awards ceremonies. At least at an awards ceremony there were several protagonists, but at a wedding, there were only two, and Harrison was one of them.

“Once I’ve had a few drinks.”

At his voice, which was more determined than when he was fighting for the championship, Leo said.

“You know that before that, when you enter, you have to walk down the aisle with everyone’s attention focused on you, right?”

The dance would be at the reception, so it would be okay to have a few drinks, but the entrance was a different story.

“You’d hate it if I drank before the ceremony, right?”

At the awkward yet gentle question, with his voice trailing off at the end, Leo shook his head from behind the camcorder.

“Practice a lot. If I’m going to get married, I’m definitely having a wedding.”

Leo had a negative view of marriage, but that was a problem with the institution; in fact, he hadn’t had much of an opinion on weddings themselves even in the past. But now that he was getting married, he thought he should have a wedding too. For one, he wanted to see Harrison at a wedding.

“Ugh, okay.”

At his somewhat worried appearance, Leo needlessly added.

“Do you want to sing too?”

“It feels like we’re preparing for a concert, not a wedding.”

And yet, he didn’t immediately say no. It was clear he was willing to listen to whatever Leo said.

“If you’re going to do it, you should do it properly. We’re doing something we never planned on doing in our lives.”

Not hiding his teasing tone, Harrison gave Leo a quick once-over.

“I can do that well. Being amazed while looking at you in a tuxedo.”

“You have to cry. You have to.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

And then, Harrison pounced on Leo. As he fell onto the sofa with the camcorder still in his hand, Harrison got on top of Leo, took the camcorder, and placed it haphazardly on the coffee table.

“Ah, don’t!”

And yet, at the hand that was surreptitiously tickling his side, he struggled, and Harrison held him tightly and kissed him all over his face. Then, at the sight of him suddenly lifting the collar of Leo’s t-shirt and checking inside, Leo obediently complied and looked at Harrison.

“Should I get a tattoo too?”

At his continued question, Harrison’s gaze landed on him at once.

“Why?”

“You don’t seem to like the idea?”

When he asked at the ambiguous yet clear reaction, Harrison replied, pretending to be nonchalant.

“If you want to do it, you should.”

That was true, but it was too textbook.

“So you don’t particularly like it.”

As he stared at Harrison along with those words, Harrison gently lifted Leo’s shirt and tickled the red marks he had left on his side with his hand.

“They show up well because your skin is clean.”

“You’re a pervert.”

At Leo’s immediate voice, Harrison didn’t even bother to rebut and asked.

“So do you just want to get a tattoo, or is there a tattoo you want to get?”

“I was thinking of getting something related to you too.”

At Leo’s words, Harrison stared at Leo.

“I’m always giving you new ones.”

At the voice that touched the bite marks he had made while pulling back the collar of Leo’s t-shirt, Leo also stared at Harrison. Leo hadn’t been speaking seriously either, but Harrison’s reaction never seemed to stray from his expectations.

“You really are a pervert.”

But Harrison, completely unfazed, lowered his head and kissed the line of Leo’s neck. At the soft, warm sensation, Leo hugged his neck and smiled.

“Show it off a lot in the future too.”

At those words, Harrison also smiled and nodded his head. And then, at the lips that came to him again, both affectionate and playful, Leo said just like that.

“I’m going to Austin.”

At that, Harrison, who had paused for a moment, lifted his head and looked at Leo.

“Really?”

Harrison looked into Leo’s eyes as if searching for the truth in his words, or for some meaning that even the speaker himself didn’t know. Leo met his gaze directly and replied.

“Yeah.”

The US Grand Prix in Austin was this week. But it wasn’t an impulsive decision. Rather, it had been quite a while since he had made up his mind after careful consideration. It was something he couldn’t avoid forever, and now he was quite okay, as if the distance and time were what Leo truly needed.

He had been hearing about Harrison’s results during that time, and he had even watched the broadcast once. Perhaps because the whole process had been gradual, there hadn’t been the dramatic wave of emotions he had worried about.

“I want to go.”

At Leo’s continued words, Harrison also slowly nodded his head. Leo raised his hand and caressed his face, as if tracing it carefully.

“And there’s some time until the next Grand Prix, right?”

“Yeah.”

After the quiet reply, Harrison leaned his face into Leo’s hand, then turned his head slightly to kiss his palm. It was a daily gesture, yet somehow ticklish, cautious, and at the same time, an unfiltered affection.

“Let’s stay together.”

And at Leo’s words that followed, Harrison asked, still with his lips buried in his hand.

“Is that okay?”

With every brush of his lips, he could feel a tickling sensation on his skin and a warm breath.

“Yeah. I already told them.”

Leo continued, gently stroking the head of Harrison, who had lowered his head again to kiss the line of his neck.

“I have my own schedule anyway, so you don’t have to worry too much about me.”

Even though there was some time between the Grand Prix, it was still time to prepare for the next one, so it wasn’t like Leo was expecting anything grand. That’s why he had also scheduled a business trip to a place he didn’t usually get to visit. In the first place, this was something that often happened when participating in a Grand Prix on another continent, so it wasn’t anything new.

But, nevertheless, Harrison gently rubbed his nose against Leo’s collarbone and then followed with a soft kiss.

“I will worry.”

Leo, unable to avoid how much he had missed this peaceful atmosphere, how much he loved it, yet acknowledging it with a loving heart, looked at his face and smiled. At that, the head that had been lowered was lifted, and as their gazes met, a smile slowly spread across Harrison’s face. In a peaceful affection where the form might sometimes differ, but the emotion would never change.

US Grand Prix

Circuit of the Americas (COTA)

Leo, who had sent Harrison off first, finally arrived at the circuit with not much time left before the main race. Coming back to the circuit after a long time felt strange somehow. And yet, in truth, the path to the garage was nothing but familiar. For one, Austin was a circuit he had visited quite often.

“Leo, it’s been a while.”

At the sight of Simon, whom he happened to meet in front of the garage, Leo greeted him naturally and walked inside with him.

“It has. Have you been well?”

“Yes, well. Nothing to complain about, right?”

Somehow, the end of his sentence was a bit ambiguous. The results of this qualifying round were not bad, with Harrison and Nate in 4th and 6th place respectively. He didn’t know how ABW, which had been dominating in the early part of the season, had ended up in a position to be relieved with 4th and 6th place. He also wondered if it was because Leo hadn’t been coming to the races lately. In fact, it was more natural for him not to come, and it was stranger for him to appear at every race like this.

“Why are you so nervous? You’re making me nervous too.”

When Leo said with a smile, Simon also let out a sigh and gave a rough smile.

The garage they entered was already bustling, with everyone busy with their own tasks as the race time approached. But even against that complex background, Harrison’s figure immediately caught his eye. He was talking with his engineers, his driver’s suit pulled down halfway, revealing the thin Nomex underneath that exposed his body.

Harrison, who had left his messy hair as it was and was leaning towards Manuel, his face tense as if in a serious conversation, suddenly turned his head. As if he somehow knew, even amidst that loud commotion, directly towards Leo.

The sharp, sensitive gaze instantly softened, and his eyes cleared. In that moment, he thought it felt like fate. Since they had been together since before he even knew the concept of fate, it had been a continuous daily life without room for such a romantic or abstract concept to intervene, but suddenly, that word came to mind.

Fate. Some phenomenon, more like a natural force than a will, that you cannot help but encounter. An unintentional yet intentional attraction that will find you no matter where you are.

Fate strode towards him, as if nothing could stand in its way.

“Do you want to have dinner with me after this? Not room service. A restaurant.”

His voice leaped across time, reaching those young days when they would walk aimlessly down unfamiliar streets after a race, talking nonsense. Unlike then, he was now grown up, with no trace of awkwardness, mature and solid, and yet, the tips of his ears were slightly flushed.

“If you made a reservation.”

When he spoke with a deliberate coyness, Harrison smiled naturally, then tried to compose his expression, before finally wiping his face and smiling.

“I did.”

“Okay.”

And then, as they stood there somewhat awkwardly, he soon heard someone calling for Harrison from behind. Harrison immediately turned his head in that direction to signal that he would be right there, before taking a slight step closer to Leo and saying.

“This is a date, you know?”

At that voice, which was clearly teasing him about the time when he couldn’t understand signals, Leo finally smiled too and pushed Harrison’s back, sending him towards his engineers.

Leo just, sent Harrison off to the circuit and left the garage. He didn’t feel any particular emotion. It wasn’t strange or surprising. As if he had known already.

Heading to the parking lot, Leo got into his car and turned on the radio. Thankfully, he must have missed the first lap. But since it wasn’t noisy around, there probably hadn’t been any major accidents.

— Harrison Turner, tries to cut to the inside again but can’t easily find a spot. They all had a good start, and there’s no change in position up to 6th place. We’ll have to see how things unfold.

The unpleasant palpitation was still there, but at the same time, he was calm. He wanted to be the first person to know, the first person to be able to go to him when something happened to Harrison. But he didn’t want to see it happen himself.

The flimsy belief that once you receive a proposal and confirm your love, everything will magically get better and you’ll live happily ever after can’t even be found in fairy tales these days. It would be a lie to say he didn’t want to believe it, but he never actually did. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in his love. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe his promise to try. He didn’t not believe that things would get better.

But he thought he knew it would be like this. That in the end, he would be in a car somewhere in the parking lot, unable to either turn away from or face the race, just waiting and hoping that nothing would happen. Unable to get closer, unable to stay far away.

— Hansen, tries to overtake his teammate Schmitz but is blocked. Ryan takes advantage of that gap to aim for Hansen’s position, but, ah! Turner cuts through between them! Turner will be thanking both Hansen and Ryan. Thanks to them, he moves up to a podium position.

I’ll get to see him smile. That thought came to him. He didn’t know if he could keep his position, but if he got on the podium, he would smile. So he pictured that smiling face. If he pictured it, and pictured it, and pictured it, the race would be over before he knew it.

He felt strangely calm. Now it was his turn to try. It wasn’t something that could be done by just one person trying. Come to think of it, it wasn’t strange. It was rare, but it wasn’t like there were no married drivers at all. Their spouses naturally worried about the driver’s race. But they were there. So there was no reason he couldn’t do it. Because that’s how people live.