LDR Ch 49

Nothing is perfect except in fairy tales. No, even fairy tales aren’t always perfect. But reality is promising to accept all of this and work hard together. That’s why I accepted the ring. So, Leo left his heart to pound heavily and anxiously inside the car and listened to the commentator say that there were now about 20 laps left.

When the laps are all over, I should go back to the garage. To welcome you back.

Harrison came in 3rd. Although the point gap with the 2nd place team had narrowed even further, the atmosphere wasn’t bad, since he had made it to the podium after all. There was a party afterward, but Harrison just took pictures with his teammates and then took Leo out on a date.

Harrison barely managed to eat a salad, and even that brought back old memories. Like that time when Harrison used to take Leo on dinner dates every week, until he was eventually caught by his trainer at the time and was forced to eat only salads even at restaurants.

They had dinner together like that, walked around aimlessly just like they used to, and then when they got home, he received a bouquet of flowers. It was such a lovely day that it made him wonder if this was what a perfect day would be like.

After that, Harrison went to Mexico with his teammates, and Leo was still in the United States because Johan, who happened to be on a business trip to the U.S., had asked to meet up. Leo arrived a little early at the place where he was supposed to meet Johan and checked his phone while waiting.

[Do I look stupid?]

The text came with a picture of Harrison wearing a poncho and a wide-brimmed hat characteristic of Mexico, with a mustache attached to his face. The moment he saw the picture, Leo couldn’t help but laugh, before composing his expression, even though he was the only one in the space. He didn’t know which media outlet had made him do it, but it was an uncommon sight.

[Don’t grow a mustache in the future]

[Everyone says I look more handsome than usual]

[You said you weren’t going to do that at first, right?]

[Yeah]

[So they said that to try and get you to wear it no matter what]

It was obvious that Harrison also knew he looked quite ridiculous. That’s why his first text was asking if he looked stupid.

[Is it weird?]

At that text, Leo needlessly zoomed in on Harrison’s face.

[But I like seeing it sometimes]

[Then that’s fine]

[What did you film wearing that?]

[Answered some quiz questions and made and ate tacos]

<Leo.>

Then, at the voice he suddenly heard, Leo reflexively looked up. He hadn’t even noticed Johan had arrived, so Leo looked at his dad with the same smile still on his face.

<The prenuptial agreement was your doing, wasn’t it, Dad?>

In complete contrast to the expression he hadn’t had time to compose, Johan sat down awkwardly.

[Dad’s here, I’ll talk to you later]

[Don’t be too hard on him]

[I don’t know]

After sending the last message, Leo flipped his phone over and stared intently at Johan in front of him.

<Are you against the marriage?>

When he asked so bluntly, Johan waved his hands in denial, flustered.

<What? Of course not. I even cheered Harry on when he said he was going to propose. I even helped him think about what would be a good way to propose.>

That he wasn’t against it was a good thing, but the fact that Johan knew something he didn’t was unsettling. No wonder the two of them had seemed close recently; they had been talking about such things behind his back.

<Then what’s with the contract.>

Handing over a contract where one party was clearly at a disadvantage was a problem, but what was even stranger was that there had been no mention of the contract at all since then. To think he would send it himself and then not even mention how it was progressing.

<You told Harry that was a condition for the marriage.>

As he added that, Johan awkwardly composed his expression.

<I didn’t put it quite like that, but anyway, Harry agreed.>

<Of course he would have. He’s a kid who never says no to begin with.>

Harrison was so good at refusing everything when he was out and about, but whenever it was related to Leo, he would accept anything.

<And what did you say that made Harry sign the contract right away without even looking at the contents?>

At Leo’s sharp words, Johan let out a dry laugh and shook his head.

<Oh my god.>

It couldn’t be seen as an appropriate reaction, so Leo just stared at Johan, and Johan spoke gently.

<Leo, don’t you think that side of Harry is exactly why a contract is necessary? Yes, the financial part was a bit too harsh. But Leo, I didn’t send it to Harry for him to sign it as is. In the first place, it’s natural to negotiate a contract.>
His voice continued, gentle and placating, in the same manner he’d always used, having never once raised his voice at Leo.

<When I first told Harry about it, I clearly told him to call a lawyer and look at it together. But he didn’t, did he?>

<You knew he wouldn’t.>

No one expected that from Harrison. Then, Johan replied.

<Leo, I really like Harry too, Dad does. I’m not lying or exaggerating, he’s really like a son to me.>

He was used to Harrison’s parents thinking of Leo as their own son, and Victoria thinking of Harrison as her own son, but Johan had not thought of Harrison as being like a son.

<Alright, there’s a slight exaggeration. Since I don’t think of Harry as a son in the way Vicky does.>

His attitude must have given it all away, as Johan naturally changed his words.

<But it’s true that I like him that much. I always want Harry to be happy, and I want things to go well for him. Of course, I was worried when you first said you were dating. But seeing you actually date, I wondered why I had even worried. At first, since Harry’s unrequited love had been so long,>
<You knew?>

Aghast that everyone but him seemed to have known, Leo couldn’t stop the question from blurting out, and Johan nodded naturally.

<Since his unrequited love was so long, I thought it might actually work against him, but you two dated better than I expected. Honestly, in that respect, you two are better than me.>

When Johan mentioned his own two marriages, each of which lasted about 10 years, Leo momentarily fell silent. It probably wasn’t his intention, but in this case, there wasn’t much a son could say.

<Leo, there’s no way I could dislike Harry. That’s the truth. Apart from the fact that you love Harry, that Nora, Adam, and Finn love Harry so much that I sometimes even feel left out, and that even your grandfather eventually acknowledged Harry, I, your dad, really like Harry too.>
Leo knew that, of course, but it didn’t explain everything. Johan, who must have known all of Leo’s suspicions, continued.

<And the contract, of course, has parts that are for you, Leo, but there are also parts that are for Harry.>

<What parts, exactly?>

No matter how you looked at it, the contract only had clauses that were disadvantageous to Harrison. But Johan looked at Leo gently, then slowly replied.

<The one that says if he’s in an accident and unconscious, it’s automatically treated as consent for divorce, or that having two concussions is grounds for divorce. Those are clauses Harry knew about beforehand.>

Truthfully, Leo didn’t know how to react. But Johan continued speaking as if it were nothing.

<Yes, not everyone who races gets a concussion. Just because you get one doesn’t mean you’ll get a second one. But if you get a second one, you’ll probably get a third. What happens after that? Even if you recover perfectly, what if aftereffects develop later?>
Johan looked at Leo, who couldn’t give any answer, and then asked.

<Leo, do you think Harry doesn’t know that?>

And he continued.

<He probably knows. But he doesn’t care.>

Johan spoke as if letting out a sigh, as if he were soothing his son, as if he were reassuring him, and yet, as if he had to say what needed to be said.

<Leo, you’re not like that.>

Johan gently took Leo’s hand and patted it as if Leo were still about eight years old.

<I don’t know what the actual probability is. But what’s important is that if the same thing happens a second time, that’s what you’ll start to think. And you know Harry better than I do. In your opinion, if something were to happen to Harry, would he want you to see it, or would that make things harder for him?>
The only answer Leo could give to that was quite indirect and not very persuasive.

<He’s different from Jude.>

It’s impossible not to know why such a clause exists, where it originated. Even though Johan wasn’t close to Jude, they were of course acquaintances, and because of that, he couldn’t help but know about all the things that had happened after that accident.

But instead of persuading Leo, Johan smiled and patted Leo’s hand a couple more times.

<Write the contract. You two can adjust and change the clauses. Try not to focus only on the bad things. It could be something that protects you both.>

Then, as if to lighten the mood, Johan spoke lightly.

<Try to persuade Harry to at least accept a wedding gift.>

Hearing this for the first time, Leo answered, taken aback.

<He can’t be persuaded.>

<They say marriage is about living with and accepting those things.>

His tone was uncertain, as if he himself had heard such words somewhere but had never practiced them.

<What are you going to give him?>

<Didn’t he say he needed a yacht?>

At those words, Leo thought for a moment. He remembered telling him once that Harrison had talked about mooring a yacht in Monaco, so it seemed he had chosen the gift based on that. He didn’t really need it, actually. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have one, so he’d just tell him to accept it.

<And anyway, Harry is a good kid. Good enough for you to decide to marry him.>

At Johan’s words that followed, Leo naturally nodded his head.

<Yeah.>

<You were always a better son than I was a father, so I’m sure you’ll have a good marriage. Even though I wasn’t a good role model in that respect, even to a father like me, you and Harry look happiest when you’re together.>
At the words that were filled with both affection and embarrassment, Leo looked at Johan. He seemed to be referring to his two divorces, but Leo couldn’t agree.

<You were a good role model.>

At those words, Johan laughed as if treating it as something said just to be nice. At that laugh, Leo said seriously.

<I’m not just saying it, I really mean it.>

Of course, in Johan’s eyes, the 8-year-old Leo who cried and couldn’t accept his parents’ divorce might never fade away, but still, the current Leo knows that their choice contained consideration for him.

<You always showed each other love and respect. I know how difficult that is.>

Controlling emotions isn’t something one can do at will. That’s why they are emotions. Countless partners who promise not to fight in front of their child end up breaking that promise. Leo, too, had gotten angry at Harrison many times while telling himself he shouldn’t.

But his parents hadn’t been like that. He knows how hard it is to love and like someone, rather than to love and hate them. Now, Leo knows what great consideration and love that was. Something he wouldn’t dare to even imitate.

<Leo.>

As the atmosphere suddenly turned touching and Johan’s eyes looked at him as if he were proud, Leo shuddered, but Johan paid no mind and pulled Leo into a hug. Leo flinched reflexively, but soon relaxed and awkwardly hugged his dad’s back, before patting him lightly as a signal to let go.

<When you were little, you used to come nestle right into my arms like this.>

As he pulled away, his voice was tinged with disappointment, and Leo replied wryly.

<How fussy was I when I was little?>

Leo had never once had the experience of snuggling into his dad’s arms his whole life. When Johan talked about his childhood, that was especially when Leo’s mysophobia was severe, so he’d only been held once when they had both just showered. He was at least used to it with Victoria, but even then, Johan was always going back and forth between Switzerland and the UK, so there was more of a psychological distance with him than with Victoria.

<Even back then, Harry was the only exception for you.>

At Johan’s words that followed, Leo paused for a moment, then smiled slightly.

<Back then, he wasn’t a person to me.>

He was so radiant. If someone had asked who his hero was, he probably would have named that kid. That’s how cool he seemed. Thinking back on it now, he was just a six-year-old child, too.

Mexico Grand Prix

Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez

Instead of going to the head office, he had decided to meet as many clients as possible in the U.S., so by the time he barely finished his schedule and boarded the plane to Mexico, tomorrow was already the day of the main race.

[On the plane]

As soon as he sent the text, his phone rang. It was Harrison, of course.

[Did you have a good talk with Johan?]

“Yeah. Why did you refuse the yacht he offered?”

[You told me not to buy things like that.]

“I told you not to buy it. If someone gives it to you, just take it.”

[Then if I take it, can I moor it in Monaco?]

“You barely even go to Monaco, why do you keep saying you’ll put it there. Do what you want.”

Still, thinking about it, Monaco was a better fit than leaving it in rainy England every day.

“By the way, how much did you tell Dad? I was wondering why you two suddenly got so close, and you were talking about that?”

[It’s been a while since I heard you took the ring, but there was no news of a proposal, so of course I was curious.]

That was true, too. Leo pictured Harrison, whom he would see after finishing the not-so-long flight.

“What did you think when you saw the clause that said I could legally abandon you if you get sick?”

There was no answer for a moment to his level voice, and then, a voice finally came through.

[There was nothing like that.]

“You know what I’m talking about.”

[Leo, can’t we talk about this face to face? We’re going to see each other soon anyway.]

“That’s why I’m talking about it now. Because I don’t want to fight with a guy who has a race tomorrow the moment I see him.”

He wasn’t particularly angry right now and his voice was calm, but it was clear it would be different if they spoke face to face.

[Like I’ve said, the race and you are separate things. Whether I have a race tomorrow or not, if there’s something I need to talk to you about face to face, I’ll do it.]

“Harry, I already feel sorry for even bringing up a conversation now that could have been had after the race. Separate from the fact that I want to question you about something right now, I’m sorry I can’t even help my fiancé manage his condition.”

At his own words, which sounded utterly contradictory, Harrison replied as if to rebut.

[Why is my condition your,]

“Because I care about you. Separate from the fact that you think of the race and me as separate things, and that you’re going to give me your all and focus on me, I care about you, too.”

And Leo, cutting him off, continued.

“So let’s just have this conversation briefly over the phone, and after I get there, I’ll just cheer for you, and when the race starts, I’ll help you focus even a little bit more. You do fine without me, but I at least don’t want to be a hindrance.”

On top of that, Leo knew very well that he had picked a bad time. Although he was still maintaining 1st place, his pace itself had fallen behind the rival team, so he had been pushed back in the qualifiers this time as well. If the races end like this, the team rankings will be reversed. The atmosphere was overheated, and Harrison stood at the center of it.

“So let’s just briefly say what we have to say and try to understand each other.”

[Don’t tell me you’re already planning on doing that, what is it, supportive partner thing?]

At the vague and somehow reluctant voice, Leo also felt reluctant.

“Why do you think I can’t do it? I’m an athlete’s fiancé now. And after that, I’ll be his husband.”

[Do you think I proposed to you so you could do things like that?]

Leo let out a dry laugh at the voice that was now tinged with a sigh.

[Our relationship doesn’t change just because we get married. I know there were many times you put up with things and waited for me while we were dating, but I just hope you wouldn’t do that anymore, so why are you being like this.]

His tone now even betrayed a hint of hurt. So, Leo became calmer instead.

“So if you get hurt, you want me to just go my own way without putting up with it, without waiting?”

There was no reply from Harrison to those words. So instead of waiting for an answer, Leo asked.

“Would you do that if I got hurt?”

To a question with an obvious answer, a voice finally came from over the phone.

[Leo, your case and mine are different.]

“Why?”

[If you were to get hurt, it would be an accident, but if I get hurt,]

“If you get hurt, it would be an accident too.”

He cut off those words firmly, but Harrison’s voice continued again.

[Yes, but it would be a different kind of accident. The kind of accident you don’t need to endure.]

There was no hesitation, no reluctance in that voice. So much so that it made Leo, who had wanted a different answer, feel ridiculous.

[But I’ll come back to you after that. Leo, that’s for sure. I can even promise.]

“After you’ve gone through all the pain by yourself, without me?”

Harrison, who used to not even consider the possibility of getting hurt, had now matured enough to leave that possibility open. He had also developed the consideration to try and remove Leo from that opportunity. Even though he had never wished for such consideration or maturity.

[Don’t say it like that. I just don’t want to make things hard for you. Especially, not in that way.]

“That’s what getting married is. I’m going to be the home you come back to.”

It was something everyone said, but the reply came back quickly.

[I asked you to marry me, I never asked you to be my home.]