MFW 27

Chapter 27

After a full day at the amusement park, everyone was exhausted. Even Li Fei, who was renowned in the industry for his nonstop, high-energy action roles, was dead tired by the time he got home. After a quick shower, he collapsed onto the bed, drowsy and disoriented. The sound of running water from the bathroom drifted into his ears as his gaze gradually blurred.

What exactly is love? This question, asked for thousands upon thousands of years, still seemed to have no definitive answer. Even after reading countless books and performing in countless plays, he still found it difficult to summarize in words. And even the most classic love story in the world probably couldn’t provide a proper answer either.

Li Fei first read Romeo and Juliet when he was eight. Perhaps lacking any innate romantic inclination, he found it unappealing. He took the book to Director Shen and asked where the classic status lay in a tragedy born of impulsive love, a love that ignored reality, lacked the means to support itself, yet still chose to elope.

He no longer recalls Director Shen’s response. But clearly, that answer failed to resolve his confusion. As he grew up, the myriad stories circulating within their wealthy social circle only deepened his doubts. Outsiders often view “high society” through a glamorous lens.

They imagine lives of opulence and refinement, filled with talented self-made elites and uniquely powerful moguls with connections reaching everywhere. But that’s often just the surface. In the real world of the wealthy, all manner of mental disorders are actually exceptionally common. At least, that’s how Li Fei saw it. In his view, the proportion of people with serious mental issues in their circle was likely far higher than in other social strata.

Or it could just be his personal bad luck. Given his childhood and teenage years spent flying between countries, whether in the wealthy districts along the Huangpu River or the mansions of Beverly Hills, the rumors circulating in those circles were always about hiring hitmen, frequenting Lolita Islands, being modern-day Bluebeards, or living out contemporary Wuthering Heights.

As for affairs, harem-building, tangled love triangles, illegitimate children fighting over inheritance, or public meltdowns, such behaviors seemed almost too commonplace to merit mention. He recalled a young female teacher in her twenties from an international school who took a summer tutoring job at his neighbor’s house during vacation, earning seventy thousand a month.

When she arrived, she declared, “Seventy grand! This old servant makes her grand entrance!” When she left, she rolled her eyes and muttered, “Damn seventy grand, I didn’t take a single penny for free. It was all compensation for mental anguish! From master to servant, they’re all a bunch of lunatics.”

Li Fei actually agreed with her description of them as “a bunch of lunatics.” After all, he’d grown up surrounded by just that kind of crowd. After spending so much time in that environment, he sometimes found himself silently questioning the authenticity of the pure, uncomplicated elements depicted in scripts. But sometimes, there was no other choice.

Despite his skepticism, from age fourteen to nineteen, everyone insisted his image was perfect for campus dramas and youth-themed shows. Other scripts never came his way, so he ended up taking whatever roles offered. One such campus drama cast him as a poor boy growing up in a smoky, narrow alleyway, playing the childhood friend who supports and redeems a determined, studious girl.

It was an exceptionally uplifting and pure story. Sunny, or rather, very much of this world. Precisely because it was so sunny, Li Fei had to constantly remind himself that real high schools must be different, he believed ordinary high schools should genuinely be places where everyone studied hard, and where stories of childhood sweethearts growing up together, pure and simple, from campus to wedding vows, actually existed.

But judging by the mess he witnessed at that elite prep school, even the melodramatic twists of Gossip Girl seemed tame by comparison. And this was merely the perspective of a “Celebrity” like him, someone from a wealthy background with fame, immune to casual bullying anywhere. It was hard to fathom what those of lower social standing might witness or endure.

After witnessing enough outrageous things, it becomes hard to trust human nature. Let alone love. So even though Li Fei’s teen dramas still garner high praise, he actively avoids scripts of that genre as an adult. Later, after winning Best Actor at a prestigious film festival, he received quality scripts. He stopped taking romantic scripts altogether, they simply couldn’t convince him anymore.

So, it’s no wonder his childhood friends secretly mocked him behind his back. For someone like him, who couldn’t even believe in illusory beauty, the extent to which he kept others at arm’s length in reality was easy to imagine. Not only did his friends wonder how he could ever fall in love, but he himself was perplexed and found it unbelievable. But fate, sometimes, is truly unpredictable. It operates beyond the control of human will.

Take Li Fei, for instance. He never believed in love at first sight. First, he dismissed those absurd scripted descriptions of instant, thunder-and-lightning sparks. Second, he refused to judge people by appearance alone. Yet, defying all logic, at exactly twenty-three years old, he stumbled upon love at first sight like encountering a ghost on the street. And after that fateful moment, he didn’t even keep Fu Siting’s contact information. In a world so vast, the odds of crossing paths again after a fleeting encounter in the sea of humanity were practically nonexistent. Yet, he did find him again, lost in the crowd. Even then, Li Fei remained skeptical. Because even if it was love at first sight, even if fate brought them together again, it was still just his own one-sided feeling. People are prone to overcomplicating things. The probability that the other person felt the same was infinitely close to zero. But it turned out the other person liked him too.

This world is really strange. Among his friends, there were plenty who yearned for love, believed in love, and worked tirelessly for it, yet never found it, or found it only to be repeatedly hurt by jerks. He didn’t yearn for it, didn’t believe in it, and yet he found it. Even so, Li Fei remained cautious. After all, there were countless examples of couples who liked each other but broke up because they simply couldn’t get along in daily life. But he and Fu Siting got along quite well in daily life.

… The sound of water stopped. Li Fei genuinely felt he was sinking deeper into trouble. Even as he became more entangled, he still considered himself the more rational one in this relationship, but why did a rational person find the rustling sound of Fu Siting drying his hair in the bathroom, or the patter of his little fox slippers shuffling about, adorable?

And why, when he was this exhausted, did he keep forcing himself to stay awake? Because he didn’t want Fu Siting to feel lonely alone. Because Fu Siting always smelled so fresh after his shower, and he wanted to touch him a few more times.

“…”

He couldn’t even talk about this with anyone.

Not to friends, fans, or even Fu Siting himself. It was so unlike him. He knew better than anyone that it wasn’t like him. It was only after meeting Fu Siting that he realized even someone as self-proclaimed rational as himself could sometimes have his IQ completely shut down. It was only after meeting Fu Siting that he learned everything in the world had exceptions.

He was guarded, always holding back with everyone and everything he encountered. Before meeting Fu Siting, he genuinely didn’t believe something like “surrendering” could ever happen to him. After all, surrendering meant being willing to risk the pain of betrayal. He could handle the pain, but given that he hadn’t understood sixteen-year-old Romeo’s nature even at eight, where in his life could he possibly surrender?

Reality proved otherwise. He lowered his guard. He surrendered. Betrayal wouldn’t matter, his resilience was too deep-rooted. Besides, if Fu Siting ever betrayed him, there would surely be a reason to understand. Look at him now, how foolish he’d become. The bathroom hummed with the hairdryer’s drone. Li Fei waited silently for the sound to fade, so he could finally embrace his exclusive pillow.

He recalled that kiss on the Ferris wheel again. Those soft, warm lips, and the dazed, reverent, satisfied expression that appeared on Fu Siting’s face afterward. Sixteen-year-old Fu Siting probably wouldn’t know that twelve years later, every time he kissed him, he’d often still wear that same dazed look. Exactly the same.

The searing sincerity offered by a sixteen-year-old boy remained unchanged even at twenty-eight. Perhaps that was why he could trust him. Only the sixteen-year-old Fu Siting was a bit more inexperienced. He didn’t even know that those hesitant kisses brushing the corners of the lips weren’t even fully considered “kisses” in the adult world.

Hmph.

For a moment, Li Fei’s murky black eyes took on a different hue. Fu Siting, twelve years later, would never kiss like that again. Three years ago, Fu Siting had been just as inexperienced. It was his fault, he’d corrupted that good boy. Even just now on the Ferris wheel, he’d nearly lost control and wanted to play teacher again.

He’d suppressed the last shred of his sanity to stop himself from cupping Fu Siting’s nape and pressing him down, teaching him once more what a kiss truly meant. Just as he’d taught him countless times before. And then.

There was another reality Li Fei was reluctant to admit: if Fu Siting hadn’t confessed his desire to kiss him on the Ferris wheel, it might have been Li Fei who couldn’t resist making the first move tomorrow morning. After all, he was already teetering on the edge of his sanity. What if he had initiated it? He might have acted like a kidnapper or a creepy older brother, coaxing him into kissing him.

Li Fei closed his eyes. His darling had no idea how… immature he’d become after returning to sixteen due to that stroke. So immature it felt almost unnatural. The thought sounded downright awful. Yet he’d imagined it: one day, unable to hold back, he’d cup Fu Siting’s face, press his nose against his, corner him against the sofa: “Xiaoting, give big brother a kiss.”

Li Fei had never played this kind of game before. He’d only ever played villains, never beasts, directors always said his looks lacked credibility for the latter. Who’d have thought the craving he couldn’t satisfy on screen would present itself in real life? He felt he should seize the chance to try.

After all, if he didn’t seize the moment, Fu Siting might recover in ten days or a fortnight. A normal Fu Siting would be fun too, but a perfectly ripe, sweet little tangerine would always be available. This sour and tart flavor, however, would be gone forever. So naturally, he should savor it while he could.

The thought was clearly immoral, but Li Fei reflected that he’d been acting immorally more than once lately. One more time wouldn’t hurt.

…

Fu Siting finally finished blow-drying his hair. Li Fei genuinely felt it had been worth enduring the sleepiness to wait for this moment. To stay awake, he’d even impulsively changed into a new pajama set.

This time it was a coral fleece onesie. The design featured a black cat shark. This outfit was also a unique taste of Yin Yihao’s, a gift he’d given Li Fei years ago. Li Fei had never worn it before, since he didn’t even know what a cat shark was. Now it seemed to be a black cat and a shark, with a cat tail, but when the hood was pulled up, the shark teeth perfectly framed his head.

The moment Fu Siting stepped out of the bathroom and saw Li Fei in his cat shark look, he froze. He stood there, his expression complex, stunned and charmed by the cuteness, yet mixed with confusion and awkwardness. That obvious adoration made Li Fei silently groan inwardly.

So this sixteen-year-old kid actually liked abstract designs??? All those days he’d spent obsessively styling himself into a mature, sexy gold-rimmed look had been for nothing!

Fu Siting’s new pajamas today were white fleece. They didn’t have any particular design, but once worn, he resembled a soft, docile large white animal.

Li Fei reached out his hand, and Fu Siting instinctively curled into his embrace. He seemed to have grown accustomed to this intimate closeness now. The white creature smelled of coconut shower gel, an enticing milky sweetness. His arms were full, and Li Fei felt content. Very comfortable.

It was worth fighting off sleep to wait until now. Finally, he could rest.

Li Fei drifted off almost instantly. If the person in his arms hadn’t been so restless, constantly shifting and rustling, he wouldn’t have dozed off for over ten minutes before being forced to open his eyes.

“Hmm… Fu Xiaoting, what are you doing?”

“…”

In the darkness, he met a pair of bright gray eyes. In that instant, Li Fei’s muddled mind held only one thought: Youth is wonderful. How could a sixteen-year-old boy be so full of energy? How could he play all day and still not feel tired?

Lost in thought, his lips were suddenly brushed and teased by fingertips with a hint of calloused roughness. The slightly suppressed breaths carried urgency and longing. “Li Fei.”

Fingers ground impatiently against his lips. In the darkness, Fu Siting panted, his Adam’s apple rolling as his voice grew hoarse, tinged with a plea. “Li Fei, let me kiss you again, please.”

“I want to kiss you again too.”

“…”

He leaned in impatiently, his breath scorching and restless mere inches away. Naive and clumsy, he pleaded cautiously: “Just once, okay?”